"Walter. Walter." I hear Ruby's gentle voice whispering my name as she slowly rocks my shoulder trying to wake me. My hat is over my face, cowboy style, as I lay on the jail bunk with my frame stretched out for a proper rest. The jail bunk has doubled as my bedroom the past couple of nights but I overslept and Ruby has found my secret.
"Walter, why are you sleeping here?"
"Just worked out that way." I got up and headed for the coffee maker putting on a pot.
I don't know what to do with myself without my best friend. After Martha died, Cady and Henry filled the empty space that time can create. Many a night I drove to the Red Pony for dinner and the company of my best friend. I'm lost without it now. Cady is busy preparing for his defense and I'm not much help until I can find Martha's killer.
Vic should be here any minute. I look forward to seeing her in the morning. I look forward to it more than I should. She strides through the doorway and says hello to Ruby without breaking rhythm and she settles in my office.
"Mornin' Walt. "
"Mornin"
"Any news?"
"No."
This was our regular routine. Nothing to report and nothing to say but so much passing between us.
"k"
As Vic turns to walk out, I grab a package on my desk, "Hey, Vic…ah this is for you."
She spins on her heels and looks at the brown shipping envelope. "Thanks." She pulls out her vintage Benchmade knife, flicks the blade out, and cuts the package open with precision. She reaches in and pulls out Les Bowen's hardcopy book, The Illustrated History of the Philadelphia Eagles.
"I thought you might like it."
Vic turns and clutches the book to her breasts as if it is a treasure chest. She smiles wide and her eyes radiate happiness. Vic swings her right arm over my neck while still clutching the book and gives me a big hug and lets out a little giggle which is very unVic like but in that moment I realize what it is that makes me so drawn to her. She loves football and Benchmades but she is still a soft and sweet lady that needs attention, protection and love.
I impulsively put my arms around her and welcome her embrace. I find myself smiling as I hug her and I feel safe to do so because she can't see my face which is turning a tiny bit red.
"Thank you, Walt. I love it." She whispers in my ear. Vic steps away and walks over to her desk. She begins to gently turn the pages of the book smiling from ear to ear. I like making her happy. Vic has stayed by my side filling in the empty spaces as much as she can but at night it's the worst. I hate to admit to myself but I am lonely, Lonely for her company, for her laugh and her friendship. I keep my distance if for no other reason than to be as unoriginal as a cliché but she sneaks into my conscious thought and tip-toes through my heart.
Vic interrupts my thought as she sets my coffee cup down in front of me full of fresh brew. "You want me to ride with you to see Henry and maybe get some breakfast?" Before I can stop myself I agree. This too has become our routine. As we walk out of the station Vic takes the lead opening the door for me. I feel weird but remind myself I am not on a date and that thought makes me cringe a little and smile at the same time.
As we walk toward the Busy Bee, Vic points towards Jack's barbershop, and proclaims, "After we eat, why don't I go fill up the Bullet and you let Jack give you a cut and shave. A hot shave will relax you a little bit. You deserve that Walt."
"Nah, Vic that's not really my style."
"Hmmm have you looked in the mirror lately? I mean, I know this is Wyoming but you are about 2 days growth from being Sheriff Grizzly Adams." She laughs at me as I rub my hands over my arguably transient beard. I look down at my boots suddenly filled with emotion. I'm not crying but I feel overwhelmed. Vic steps in and closes the distance, not too close, but close enough so only I can hear her.
"Walt, what's the matter?" She gently puts her hand on my arm.
"You took me back that's all. Martha loved to give me a shave on Sunday afternoon's Jack taught her how to do it with a straight razor and the hot towel. The whole bit. It's a simple thing really but some of our most intimate moments we spent in silence except for the sound of my beard scraping against the razor's edge."
Vic just looked, her eyes glistening over, and she leaned in just a little closer.
"I'm so sorry, Walt. I didn't know."
"It's ok Vic."
I turned back toward the café and knew that I needed to separate myself from this girl because I am giving too much of myself to her. It's becoming too comfortable. The ease of friendship is beautiful and the trust I have is part of the job but my natural concern and care for her is encroaching the fortressed area of my heart. I'm starting to fall in love with my deputy and I never saw it coming.