AN: Okay, this is yet another interpretation of what I would have liked the ending to ME3 to be. I managed to get the `Perfect`ending, but I was still not happy with it so I finally got my lazy ass in gear and decided to do something about it. My female Shepard is a strong paragon character with a little renegade smart ass in her. The relays also were NOT destroyed and the Normandy is just fine. OH! And EDI and the Geth are fine too.

I also have part of Ulysses by Alfred Tennyson in this.

Rated M for swearing and eventual Shenko smut.

Disclaimer: Do not own any of the characters. All property of BioWare and EA.

Prologue

*Leave forever!* Her last thoughts as she blew the damn Reapers to hell.

Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. Peace...no more pain...She'd done it. The short, intense flicker of pain as the fire engulfed her was almost welcoming. Now there was nothing but a nice long rest. If she could have smiled, she would have.

"Becca," someone called from what sounded like a long distance.

She stirred, feeling something soft beneath her head.

"Rebecca. Come on sweetheart, you need to wake up." The voice...something was stirring in her memories.

"Rebecca Hannah Shepard."

Her eyes snapped open and she almost immediately hissed as bright sunlight blinded her. She covered her eyes with her hand, trying to get them to adjust.

*Wait...my hands...* she opened her eyes again and focused on them. There wasn't a drop of blood on them. She stared in confusion as she looked them both over. In fact, they were perfect.

She blinked as her surroundings came into sharper focus, sitting up slowly. *Where...what the hell?* she stared with her mouth slightly agape as she attempted to take it all in.

She was in a forest, the sun beating down on her through the sparse canopy. She looked down at her body. She was in a white dress, her feet bare. She examined herself slowly; not a blemish, burn or scratch tarnished her perfect body. She flexed her toes and felt the soft moss tickle between them.

A soft chuckle reached her ears. Her hand immediately flew to her waist, searching for her trusty sidearm on instinct.

"Heh. You'd think she'd relax a bit now that the universe was saved." Said an amused voice as a shape stepped out from behind a tree.

Shepard's breath caught and her body stiffened. "Ash." she whispered, not knowing whether or not to believe what she was seeing.

Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams grinned at her. "Good to see you Commander." Tears stung Shepard's eyes as she took in the sight of her dead friend and comrade.

"You did well Commander." Came a second voice as Thane Krios stepped into view.

"Course she did. There was never doubt she would succeed." David Anderson chuckled as he and her father, Carson Shepard, also joined them in the little clearing.

A strangled sob escaped Becca's lips as tears filled her eyes. Her father smiled as he knelt down beside her and rubbed her back like he used to when she was young.

"It's okay Rebecca. You're okay." He whispered gently.

Ash, Thane, and Anderson sat down around her. She noticed that they too seemed to be perfect.

"Where...?" was all she managed to choke out as she took in four of the people she had been closest to in life.

"Hell if we know Skipper. It's your party." Ash said with a broader grin as she looked around.

Shepard took a few deep breaths to calm herself and looked closer at where they were. It looked like the same forest she'd dreamt about hundreds of times where she'd chased the small boy she'd been unable to save when the Reapers had first attacked Vancouver. But it was always twilight in her dreams, and it had always looked dead. This place was bright and alive.

"Ugh," she moaned as the memories of that first day of the invasion began to creep into her thoughts. She pulled her knees up and grasped her head in her hands as her father continued to whisper soothing words in her ear and rub her back.

"Why am I here?" Shepard asked after taking a few minutes to compose and calm herself.

"Because you have a decision to make." Anderson told her.

Shepard looked up at her mentor with bright green eyes full of yet unshed tears. "What decision? I thought...I thought I was supposed to die to destroy the Reapers? That was my choice."

"And so you did," her father said. "That self sacrifice is why you're here."

Confused, Shepard looked around again.

"The Gods have decided to give you this chance." Thane said with a slight smile.

Shepard let some of her tears fall as she considered his words. "But why me?"

"Well, it's not entirely for you. He stirred their emotions too." Ash said with a crooked smile.

Something clicked in Shepard's mind as she considered Ash's words. "Kaidan..." she whispered.

"Bingo. The LT, or Major I guess it is now, is gonna need someone to keep him from going off the deep end. And you're the only one with a hope in hell of pulling it off."

"He doesn't need me," Shepard whispered as she wiped some of her tears away. "He's a fully capable soldier." She continued as she brushed her chin length red hair behind her ears.

"It's not his abilities as a soldier that we're talking about." Anderson said getting to his feet and starting to pace. "You didn't see him after the SR-1 went down and we believed you were dead."

"I wanted to strangle him frankly," Ash said with a shake of her head. "He tried to take every suicide mission he could find once he was allowed to return from leave. And that bullshit of Horizon,"

"That wasn't his fault," Shepard interrupted testily. "He had every reason to be angry with me."

"Ugh! No he didn't Shepard! I would've punched square in the jaw if I could've."

"In any case," Anderson said before Shepard could retort. He looked at both Becca and Ashley before continuing his pacing. "Kaidan does need you Shepard. I should have seen then that as a man he was all but dead inside. I thought that giving him the Spec Ops squad would help; which it did...to a degree."

Shepard stared down at her hands, attempting to hide the fresh assault of tears threatening to fall.

"Rebecca," her father whispered. "You have to realize what you mean to him."

Kaidan's pleading voice as they had parted for the final assault filled her head. "I can't lose you again."

"But why me?" She asked again. "Everyone lost loved ones in this damn war. Whole colonies were obliterated by the Reapers and the Collectors. Why should we get this chance when so many others didn't?"

"Because the universe needs you both Shepard." Thane said gently.

Becca looked up to the sky and then back at her clenched hands, lost in thought. In truth, she wanted nothing more than to lie in Kaidan's protective arms again. But her guilt and feelings of unworthiness stopped her.

"No one else could have done what you did Rebecca. You got the Krogans and the Turians to put aside their anger and hatred. You got the Geth and the Quarians to work together and fight as one. You cured the Genophage, saved the Citadel from falling into the Illusive Man's hands." Her father said with a distinctly proud tone in his voice.

"And let's not forget stopping the universes' destruction by telling the Reapers to fuck off." Ash said with a chuckle.

And still Shepard sat clutching her knees, completely unsure. She wanted to be with Kaidan until the end of time. Hell, hadn't she promised him that she would be waiting for him when it was all over? And that last kiss they'd shared...so full of longing, fear, and desperation.

She looked at them all in turn. "I am so sorry I couldn't save you." She whispered, looking particularly at Ashley and Anderson.

"It wasn't your job to save us Commander." Ashley said with a warm smile. "You did everything you could, and I am more than proud to have served with you."

She looked back up at the sky, a small smile now playing across her face. "I mete and dole unequal laws unto a savage race. That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me. I cannot rest from travel; I will drink life to the lees. All times I have enjoy'd greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those that loved me, and alone; on shore, and when thro' scudding drifts the rainy Hyades vext the dim sea. I am become a name;"

"Much have I seen and known,- cities of men and manners, climates, councils, governments, myself not least, but honor'd of them all,- And drunk delight of battle with my peers, far on the ringing plains of windy Troy." Ashley finished as Shepard looked at her. They shared a sad smile, knowing that Shepard had made her decision.

"Oh sweetheart," her father said as she looked at the rest of them, new tears making her eyes over bright. "We aren't really going anywhere. And we'll be waiting for you both when it really is your time."

Shepard leaned over and grabbed her father in a tight embrace, letting the long forgotten sorrow wash over her as she sobbed on his shoulder. "I've missed you so much Dad."

Carson Shepard returned the embrace strongly. "I know sweetheart, I've missed you too." They held each other for a few more moments before he let her go and leaned back to look into her eyes. "I am so proud of you Rebecca."

"As are we all." said Thane as he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. She smiled and wiped away her tears as they stood to leave.

"See you 'round Commander," Ash said with a wink. "Don't keep him waiting too long."

As they all walked back into the trees, Rebecca Shepard smiled to herself. Then she looked in the opposite direction from where they'd disappeared and pushed herself to her feet.

"Hold on Kaidan." She whispered as she sprinted off away from the clearing.