Author Note: Right, I started writing this after watching the first episode of season two once again, and the story just kind of came to me. All mistakes are mine, and I don't own NCIS: Los Angeles. I hope you enjoy, and also this was wrote at twelve o'clock at night, so anyway, if you have any advice or comment on the story please review.
When he heard them say that Jess was dead his world came crashing down, she wasn't just some random hook up, she was the real thing, she was the one made for him, but it was more than that, it was what they had found out only three weeks before hand. He didn't know what to tell the team so he just walked away, leaving Sam, Kensi and Callen with his ex-boss. He pulled his wallet out when he was far enough away, and looked at the photo that had been taken three weeks before of them sitting in Jess's house, both of them smiling, both of them happy, and both of them excited.
When he had been sitting in that bar with Hetty and he brought up the human trafficking he felt like someone was stabbing him, Jess had been killed for a stupid human trafficker. He wanted to tell Hetty but he couldn't, he didn't think that he would ever be able to, not now that Jess was dead.
The day of Jess's funeral, after everyone was gone, he went and sat by the grave, saying his own private goodbye. He sat there for over an hour before he walked away and found himself at a local bar, he sat and drank until he was numb, but he wanted more. He continued to drink until someone walked up to him, not the person he would expect to though, it was his boss, G. Callen.
'Deeks, you won't find the answers at the bottom of the bottle. I know,' Callen told him, as he pulled the bottle away, and turned to face him. Callen knew where Deeks was going, and it wasn't a place that he was about to allow a member of his team to go to, that place was hell, and he knew it.
'How would you know?' Deeks snapped back at Callen, who had grabbed the bottle of beer off the table out of Deeks' reach. Callen sat down opposite Deeks, unsure if telling Deeks was really a good idea, but he really needed someone to him that he wasn't alone, so Callen told him.
'I know because I've been here before, this exact same bar. Look I've got a rule; I won't date a cop, plain and simple. The reason why, seven years ago, I was CIA, my partner, she was my best friend and my rock, we got together and we were happy, until about six years ago, she was shot and killed by some Russian twisted hit man to get to me. I found out when they did the autopsy that she was pregnant. The day of the funeral, I came to this bar and drank, and drank and drank. Trust me, where you are heading is hell, and if you don't believe me go and ask Hetty, and she'll tell. Deeks I read your partner's autopsy report, I know what you're not telling anyone, and it's okay not to tell us, but don't try and find the answers in the bottom of the bottle. Me, Sam, Kensi, Nate and even Hetty are here for you if you need to talk,' Callen told him before standing up and leaving him sitting in the bar on his own once more. He sat staring at the bottle of beer sitting across from him before he got unsteadily to his feet and slowly staggered out of the bar, to find Kensi and Callen sitting on the front of his car. Now he knew that no matter how hard it got, he would have someone there watching his back, no matter what, and now he was ready to admit it.
'Right, I admit it, Jess wasn't some random hook up it was the real thing, and it wasn't just Jess who died,' he whispered while Kensi and Callen grabbed an arm each, and pushed him into the back of his car, before they both climbed in the front with Kensi driving.
He's going to get through it because now he had admitted it, as well as the fact he knew that if he went looking to the bottom of the bottle for answers he would have to deal with Kensi, Callen and Hetty, as well as getting sent to Nate.
Maybe not right now, but life was going to look up.