Hey everyone!This story came to me in a wierd way. I was inmy car and i was angry at someone. I could not understand why theydid not understandmy emotions towards a certain topic. (Notice i'm making it very sketchy, it's difficult to express, but at least i'm trying). Have you ever had the urge to respond to a retort by expressing one of your truest, most secret feelings. Feelings that would clairify and solve the problem, but also shock another person. Thoose feelings would be out in the open and you probably could never make that person forget what you said. Well, i tried to speek my feelings (i usually have no trouble at all), and i was rehearsing the words in my head. Every time i tried to open my mouth, no words would come out and then the time was gone, i can' ever say thoose feelings, there will never be a right time anymore. I don't know if i'm mad for not speaking or relieved. Wow, that was long. Anyway this poem-ish thing incorperates some of my feelings and words i would have said. I twisted it alot so that it could fit with the Gravitation characters.
Hope you like it.
Disclaimer: Of course i don't own Gravitation, if i did, well...cough, anyway i don't own it.
Do you know why I do this?
Do you want to know why?
Do you care?
Would you listen?
When I talk can you even hear what I am saying?
Do you know why I pretend?
Do you even know that I pretend?
I don't think you do.
Do want to know the truth?
If I spoke it, how would you respond?
Would your heart stop, even for a second?
Would it thump louder than average?
Would your eyes widen at all?
What would I see in them?
Would your breath hitch momentarily?
Would there be a subtle gasp?
I wonder what would happen.
I think you're starting to stare.
I guess no one told you it is rude.
Maybe they did.
Maybe you just weren't listening.
Or maybe you heard, but the rules didn't apply to you.
It didn't matter what they were.
If you didn't fell like respecting them, you didn't.
You just don't seem to care.
What do you care about?
Anything?
Anything at all?
You care about me you say.
You can be so funny sometimes.
I don't laugh.
I don't even smile.
I smirk.
I give one of those cruel maddening smirks.
You always give those out; mainly to people who don't deserve them.
I can't count how many times you gave me that look.
I can't count how many times I didn't deserve them.
To say I was stupid, which I'm not.
Or to say you wanted it to go a certain way, you're way, and it was.
You're a spoiled brat with a stupid fucking grin.
It's weird how you do nothing for anyone, and yet they give you everything you could possibly want.
It should be perfect, life I mean.
But, there is a major flaw.
Once you finally get something, you don't want it anymore.
Either that, or you want something better; an upgrade.
I don't feel sympathy.
It isn't empathy I feel either.
Even though, I've had basically the same experiences as you.
Most of them are worse and I'm sure I've many more than you have.
I never had time to feel sorry for myself.
I still don't have time.
I have never felt either emotion: sympathy or empathy.
No matter how it looks it is neither emotion.
It is pity.
It is not that I look down on you or them.
Pity, you see sounds obnoxious.
It makes you sound like your better.
That they are inferior.
That is not the case.
The truth is this: I just don't care.
I can't care.
So I don't.
I don't care for your situation.
I don't care for any of their situations.
I simply don't care.
I pity you for caring.
Life it bores me.
You drama queen, I see the shock.
When I say that sentence you jump to conclusions.
Always the fucking conclusions.
Oh, poor you.
You've never heard me swear have you.
Wait, that's not true.
Oh well, I guess you weren't listening before; yet again.
Maybe you were, just not hard enough.
You better start hearing what people are saying.
Improve your act.
Shape up.
If you don't, things will start to go real bad, real soon.
I have a word of general advice for you: suck it up princess; the rules apply to everyone.
The grouping of everyone happens to include you.
You're in it.
Either cope with it or go die.
I chuckle.
I am such a comedian.
I never said that I bore life, merely that it bores me.
Ah, yes.
I've done it now.
It's too poetic; my sentence.
You are confused and I can see all of this is having an impact.
You're having trouble standing.
Your mind can't quite comprehend it all.
You just can't take it all in.
It doesn't understand, and it's concentrating too hard.
Your mind is forgetting to let the rest of your body do its job.
You have a selfish mind.
It just isn't concerned with anything but itself.
This is how everything else falls apart.
It's a chain reaction, you see.
I think your wobbling.
You should sit if you don't want to fall.
Don't reach out; I'm not going to help you.
Again, with the fucking drama.
Your eyes show your pain.
What can I say?
Well, many things.
For starters I reserved this for a special occasion.
It is this sentence:
I wish I a camera.
I'm going out for a smoke.
I See.
I guess you didn't know.
Your terribly unobservant aren't you.
It wasn't a question it was a statement.
Want to know why?
Hello?
I wave my hand in front of your face.
Can you hear me?
That one was obviously a question.
You know the question of if you want to.
To know, to know why.
You are truly stupid.
Ironic since you always call me stupid.
The me you knew was obviously a sham.
It was a mirage.
A deception.
An act.
A character.
I am now discarding the shell that I used to be.
Playing that character is of no use to me anymore.
Everyone around here is so boring.
Trivial ants.
They have no idea how to play any of the games.
Could they possibly believe I am a friend?
To me they are merely people I am forced to associate with daily.
It's not that I don't have any friends.
I have plenty.
Unfortunately, most of them died.
Sorry, that's not the right word.
Replace died, with killed.
Don't forget toadd were in front of killed.
But I like to think that there is at least one of them still out there.
Just wandering around this desolate scar of a planet.
Maybe they could be trying to find me.
They won't be able to after this.
My friends are people that understand me, sort of.
If not, they at least interest me in some way.
Lovers are different, but not by that much.
Well, I lie.
They're very different with completely different purposes.
I actually prefer it if they can't understand me or my actions.
This makes you or any of the others, really, a perfect candidate so far.
There is one more rule.
It is this: they have to entice and intrigue me.
None of you do that, especially not you.
Frankly, you bore me.
I took you on to see if I could give you a little push over the edge.
It was and is a game.
This particular game bores me now.
So I'll be leaving.
Of course, I won't tell anyone where I'm going.
I'll leave you with one last truth.
I was lying, all those times.
All those times, I said I loved you.
I never felt love towards you.
I reach for my bag, and decide against it.
Whatever material possessions I leave, I don't care.
I can gain them back easily.
Maybe once I leave, I'll join the Central Intelligence Agency.
Or maybe this time, I'll be an assassin or join the mafia.
You know, work for the "bad guys".
The bad, the good it's all the same.
Either way I get paid.
Goodbye you doomed, loathed, adored demonic angel of nothingness.
May we never meet again.
He's completely stumped.
I blow him a mocking, sexy kiss and turn the handle.
I close the door after exiting.
I have shoown my true colours.
And finally I smile my true smile.
La, la, la. Wow, i can't belive you actual read all of that. I hope i didn't depress you. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! I never get any reviews, SOB! Oh, it doesn't say in the poem/fic who the character is. Well, if people don't know just ask in your review (muhahaha!). I am always open to constructive criticism and everyone loves a complement! (hint, hint). I hope you liked it. By the way, i have the song Satisfaction stuck in my head. Its by Benny Benassi. It's so addictive. Maybe i'll even write a songfic about it.
Ciao for now!