AN: So, out of love for Nisekoi and how hard I shipOnodeRaku (Which is completely irrelevant), I decided to write a oneshot based on "Ruri-chan" and her secret affection for Shuu, as the OVA described it. She's pondering love, Raku and Kosaki's estranged relationship, and if she desires that or not. Leave a review once you finish, and be sure to check out my other stuff which includes… Kid Icarus and Akame ga Kill. Yeah, I'll write more for more later. xD Enjoy!
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"But is it really that much of a bother?" I sighed and set my glasses down on the desk. "I'm always at ease, but can paranoia provide a different view of life?" My studies were always my focus, but now I found myself wondering if love was really something that I desired.
Not that I had any candidates. Since I never paid any heed to guys at school, they never paid any heed to me. I seemed to just morph into the huge crowd, unable to distinguish myself from anyone else around me. I was fine with that. Kosaki was really the only friend I needed, and I enjoyed pressuring her into pursuing Ichigo. Besides, it was rather fun to see her blush at the mere mention of his name. She really had a thing going for him, and anyone who couldn't see that clearly was the oblivious buffoon baka of the century.
Which in turn made Raku the oblivious buffoon baka of the century. He just didn't see it. I shook my head and chuckled quietly. He didn't get it and wouldn't get it. After all, he gets very little time with the one he's actually attracted to, since Chitoge always seems to be taking up his time. Against his will, yes, but I still sense a growing bond between those two. My glasses can sense it. Ah, purposely losing my glasses was certainly a clever trick on my part.
"... that's sad... " I muttered. What would Kosaki do if Ichigo actually developed a thing for Kirisaki? She'd be crushed, yes, but that would inevitably lead to her changing greatly. For good or bad, I don't know. Would she distance herself from me? Possibly. Would I mind? Of course I would! Is it bad? Not necessarily…
"What am I talking about?" I shook my head. Why would it be good? Maybe…
Maybe she'd learn how to approach Raku with her feelings. Was I being a hindrance to the progression of their relationship? God, I hope not. That'd kill me almost as badly as it would kill Kosaki. But I wonder…
What would it be like; to be swarmed by butterflies in my stomach; with my logical thought processing interrupted by a male face? I couldn't imagine it. I was too busy; too focused on carving a future for myself to notice. However; I was genuinely curious now after seeing Raku and Kosaki's tension along with their sweeter and kawaii moments.
My thoughts were interrupted by a stray "YAHOO!" that happened earlier in the day. I tried to shove the voice away but it sprung into my mind again, as irritating and obnoxious as it was in real life. "Did you say you lost your glasses?"Funny you should pop into my head right about now. I had lingering thoughts about your wild, perverted, and somewhat charming aspects of your personality. Of course, you'd never get to know that, Shuu. Why would I tell you that after I built up the image that you annoyed me?
Because fate is a tiny, four-lettered word that can be erased by anyone.
"Where did that quote come from…?" I muttered. Sigh. Why was I drawn to Shuu? He was anything but what I wanted. Anything. And yet, I found myself enchanted slightly; drawn to whatever hidden qualities in the class pervert I had yet to discover. My fingers hurt. No, it's not for the obvious dirty reason that popped into your head just then. My fingers hurt from the chop I delivered to Shuu's neck. I forgot to tighten my fingers before I hit him.
I shook my hand out to relieve a little of the dull, aching pain. Why were boys' necks so stiff?
I heard a voice from downstairs. "Ruri-chan, dinner's ready."
"All right." I reached for my glasses and slid them up onto my face. No, that was a pencil I slid onto my face. Where did I put those damn things again…? Ah. Here they were. Dammit. That was my cell phone that I just tried to place onto my face. Third time's the charm, right? Nope. I accidentally stuck a spoon up my nose mistaking it for my glasses. I walked downstairs with a tissue held to my nose to prevent it from bleeding.
"Ruri-chan, what happened to your nose?" my mother asked. Good old mom. She was always worrying about me when no one else around me took the time to. Except Kosaki. And Raku. And Shuu. Wait, why him?
"I had an accident with visionary properties." I kept my answer simple and short. I wanted to go back to my room because solitude was what I desired right now. I craved for being lost in my thoughts. Which I managed to do at the dinner table, which earned a few uneasy stares from my mother and father. I didn't mind my parents. They were quite nice, actually. I got along fine with them and never needed a reason to argue with them, except today… I wanted to be alone. To think. To think about what my life would be like with paranoia over something as simple as a boy.
As I was stuffing my face with rice and ramen noodles, I considered a few things that happened earlier today. Maybe I was too hard on Raku for asking if Kosaki was interested in someone. After all, that lightning effect was pretty scary, even for me. My thoughts became more intense.
"Seriously, you're the one who can't see anything.""Eh…?"
"Compared to someone without glasses like me, you're a lot blinder." Where did I find the inspiration behind these words? I was shocked now; but then, it just seemed natural to say them. I wish I knew where they came from so I could inspire ignorant buffoons like Raku more often.
"Why don't you try thinking about the girls that are close to you?" He never seemed to think about them. Then again, I don't have the key to Ichigo's thought processing. The place seems scary anyway, so I don't think I'll be wanting to go there anytime soon.
"Close… to me?" Raku seemed so genuinely confused. Idiot. Idiot, idiot, idiot. You're doing a lot of harm to Kosaki, and neither of you even realize it. Why can't you just grow a pair and tell her outright?
Hm. That being said, it was a lot better where they were compared to where I was. I didn't even have a love-processing mechanic in my brain. Theirs was premature, yes, but it was still existent in their minds. Mine? No, nothing to be found there. But the question was, is it a bad thing if I don't have a romance mindset that I can turn on and off? I have a great understanding for others' romantic espionages. I'm as helpless as… well, a girl without her glasses when it comes to myself, though. It was as easy as algebra to help them, but for myself I needed so much help.
"Ruri? Are you all right?" My mother asked. She was worried, and genuine concern was engraved in her facial features. She didn't mean to probe, or intrude on my life; she was simply asking a question. However, my response came out somewhat angry and distraught. I set down my chopsticks and sighed.
"Mom, I'm perfectly fine. Stop worrying." Now, that was a perfectly normal response for a normal teen, but I had been on good terms with my parents, and a response like this was very angry and out-of-character in my mother and father's eyes. Their eyes saddened and they shook their heads in accordance to my statement.
I cleared my dinner place and dropped my dishes in the sink. With a sigh, I headed back up to my room where I could finally be alone for a while again before my parents called me down to do something I didn't want to do. My algebra homework beckoned to me. I figured that a distraction would help clear my mind from the swirling thoughts that I was helplessly unfamiliar with.
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Thirty easy problems later, I was back to sulking about why I was feeling what I was feeling. Could it be that through my uncertainty about love, I was being compelled to invest time, resources, and energy into this mysterious subject that even I could not fathom? It had been a long time since there was a subject I did not understand. But I hated to ask for assistance for anything… including this. Definitely this. I didn't want anyone helping me if I could figure it out myself somehow. Some way.
But it sure would be nice to relax my brain for a bit. Kick back, put my feet up, and share the complicated thoughts I currently had. Once again, I had to force Shuu's stupid grinning face out of my psyche. If my calculations were correct, this was love…?
No.
It couldn't be. Not with how I was, my personality, and… my chest. I was fairly certain guys liked larger chests. A poem that Shuu recited to me exploded into my head. "Roses are red, tires are black, why is your chest as flat as your back?" I had punched the damn bastard, but now it made me chuckle.
Just a little bit.
God, my mind refused to stay in one place. I did some actual 'head-shaking exercises' to try and focus my thoughts on one thing. I did this successfully, but it wasn't what I wanted to think about…
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"The…" I stood up out of sheer frustration and quite honestly, anger. I could not fathom why he couldn't understand that he wasn't seeing Kosaki right. Then again, Kosaki was a little rough around the edges when it came to this kind of thing too…
"... one Kosaki likes is…" Hm. Convenient breeze to complement the mood and tone of the situation. I was actually fully prepared to tell Ichigo right then and there, if it wasn't for the boy-in-question popping in.
"TADA! Well, have you found your glasses yet?"
An interesting blend of charm, annoyance, and also that other quality.
"You shouldn't do unnecessary things."
Funny how he saw through my act with such speed. It's like he was in it from the start, as if I had told him. Wait. Did Kosaki leave us alone because she somehow, someway, sensed that I was bouncing thoughts around in my mind about Shuu? No. That's preposterous. She can't even properly detect Ichigo's feelings for her; why should she be able to see mine…?
Well, I can see theirs perfectly. How I see my own emotions; however, is just as bad or worse as those two.
"You shouldn't do unnecessary things."
Hidden wisdom. Hidden wisdom is Maiko's best trait.
"... I want them to understand each other's feelings. It's annoying the way it is now. Helping them out would be kind, right?"
Shuu turned. Perhaps it was involuntarily. Perhaps it was for dramatic effect. "Of course, helping them out would be kind…" He paused and let his words enhance their own meaning through silence. "But in the end, mastering the courage to confess… is up to the peoples involved…"
"Why? Despite having the same result?"
"Seeing them as the same is wrong." And who gave you the authority to tell me my thought processes were wrong? "It's a touchy subject, but the weight of something you bear with your own power and something with someone else's are different."
"You talk as if you know." Cruel, but kind of true. "Even though you've never had something like liking someone."
"Wrong."
What?
"Wrong."
That couldn't be right… no one was drawn to him. No one seemed to hang around him except for Ichigo (and his harem, from time to time), Kosaki, and me. Wait… me?
Me. That cheeky grin he shot at me once I lied to Ichigo about liking someone.
Did Maiko Shuu… like me?
I know I did, deep down no matter how badly I tried to deny it. Unfortunately for him, he'd never get the privilege of knowing my inner thoughts. Best to keep them to myself for now. And who knows? Someday I may just end up mastering the courage to confess.
Confessing my glasses-buddy.
I smiled at the thought.
Just a little.
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Enjoy it? Tell me you did! :D I love Nisekoi and their awkward interactions. And I also wrote it because a friend of mine inspired me to write it in a way. Thanks for supporting my stories. :) The Slain Executioner, slashing out. (That's my trademark ending for my Akame ga Kill fics)