Necessity is the Mother of Invention
Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- None
Pairing:- Nicola/Ollie
Rating:- M
Achieve:- http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/
Summary:- "DoSAC minister in food fight with local children and comes out bottom of the pile."
Author's Note:- In answer to Sarah's "Borrowed Clothes" challenge the rating is for language mainly as always with TTOI fics other than that it's just a bit of fluffy fun! Enjoy and reviews would be lovely!
"Remind me what this fucking photo op is for? Why the hell am I going to an ice cream factory anyway shouldn't that be a job for the chancellor's office he's the one trying to prove that we're not knee fucking deep in recession again." Nicola grumbled looking at the briefing paper in front of her detailing how the ice cream factory they were on their way to visit. She'd spent the previous two days visiting immigration offices and a charity that helped out immigrants with employment and housing issues. With that done her plan for the afternoon had been to enjoy the hotel's spa facilities before going to the charity's fund raising dinner that night Malcolm however had other idea and when she'd heard Ollie knock at her door just as she was gathering together gym clothes she'd known it couldn't be good.
"We're here and we're stuck with it you know what Malc is fucking like if he can get us to do something instead of having to send someone else to this hell hole he will. All you have to do is go, smile, taste the ice cream and let them take your picture it's a 20 minute photo op there'll still be time to get ready later." Ollie sighed. He didn't want to be squeezing in another engagement any more than she did but there was no way out of it so he figured get in and out as quickly as possible then Elvis could drop him off at the swimming pool on the outskirts of town to let off some steam in the pool and gym away from the press and take her back to the hotel to do whatever women did before functions.
"I fucking hate ice cream." She muttered staring out the window as they pulled into the factory car park and were greeted by a small group of staff and the factory owner.
"Yeah well don't say that and don't fucking throw up over them or something taste it and smile for the camera." Ollie whispered as she turned on her best smile and shook hands with each of the members of staff before letting the owner guide her in through the entrance.
"If you follow me minster we'll show you the tasting room where we have some of our biggest fans to meet you too." The factory owner smiled half an hour later after they had been dragged round the entire production plant in a hair net and white coat which she was more than happy to hand back to his secretary as she followed him into yet another sterile looking white room.
"You certainly seem to have a varied selection of flavours." She smiled feeling her stomach churn just a little as she was confront by a dozen small bowls of ice cream and a group of smiling children.
"Nicola the press are ready, do you want to stand with the kids and maybe you could all pick a bowl of ice cream and hold it." Ollie said ignoring the irritated narrowing of her eyes as she nodded and scanned the bowls in front of her picking the plain vanilla before joining the group of children who had each picked one from the collection of garish colours and flavours on the table.
"Just look this way minister and smile." One of the photographers shouted as she turned toward them and was about to smile when the pudgy looking boy immediately behind her shoved the child to his left causing them all to wobble before collapsing like dominos spilling ice cream, sprinkles and syrup as they went.
"Ok guys if you just want to wait outside we'll get things sorted then you can get your pictures." Ollie said quickly trying to herd the collection of photographers out of the room again as he heard Nicola let out a frustrated yelp. Turning once he had them out the door and had closed it behind him he fought the urge to laugh as she stood up and he could see exactly what damage the ice cream catastrophe had caused. The perfectly tailored pale grey dress she'd been wearing was not a mass of colour with splodges of pink, blue, green, yellow and white from the ice cream dripping from it.
"If you laugh I swear you'll regret it for the rest of your life!" She muttered angrily when he approached and the factory owner continued to apologise repeatedly as he cleared the children from the room leaving her and Ollie alone.
"I wouldn't dare, fuck Nicola it's as well Malcolm isn't here he'd be going ape by now." Ollie said quietly "We need to get out of here, now."
"Yeah no kidding but I can't get in the car like this have you any idea how hard it would be to get the stench of sour ice cream out of the upholstery in the car if it dries in? Fuck someone is going to have to go back to the fucking hotel and get me something to change into and do it quickly if I have to spend another minute in this fucking building I might just tell them how fucking awful their fucking ice cream is, even the smell of it is making me feel ill right now." Nicola snapped reaching for a box of tissues in the middle of the table and trying to remove some of the sticky dairy product but only making matters worse as she did.
"Wait, I have an idea, don't go anywhere." Ollie replied ignoring her muttered rant about where the fuck she would go looking like she'd been trapped in a fucking explosion in a paint factory as he dashed out of the room going to the car and grabbing his gym bag from the boot before returning.
"What's that and where the hell did you get it?" Nicola snapped as he came back into the room and closed the door tilting the blinds as he did.
"I was going to get Elvis to leave me at the leisure centre on the way back to the hotel I have some joggers and a t-shirt in here put them on and we'll get you out of here and you can get changed back at the hotel."
"Are you out of your fucking mind? Take a look at yourself Ollie you're at least a two foot taller than me not to mention there's more meat on a butcher's fucking pencil how the hell am I supposed to wear anything that belongs to you?" Nicola laughed the absurdity of the situation suddenly hitting her as he help out the clothes.
"Have you got a better idea? I've sent the press away told them you'll be extra nice and give them lots of photo ops tonight at the dinner but we still need to get you out of here. Besides you don't normally have a problem wearing my t-shirts and I happen to think you look fucking amazing in them."
"Yeah well that's because I'm normally only wearing them which proves my point!" Nicola sighed finally relenting as he went behind her lowering the zip of her dress and she raised a questioning eyebrow at him as he stood staring at her. "Turn around then."
"Now who's out of their mind it's not like it's anything I haven't seen before!" Ollie laughed sighing and turning his back to her as she refused to move until he did. "I happen to fucking like watching you change why should now be any different."
"Because we're on the clock and this is not going to fucking work look at me." Nicola sighed as he turned and this time couldn't help but laugh. The t-shirt was bad enough but the joggers were pooled around her ankles with yards of fabric finding itself with nowhere to go. "Stop fucking laughing this isn't helping!"
"Look I'll get Elvis to bring the car right up to the door it's all we've got for now we'll just get into the car quickly and get you back to the hotel." He smiled grabbing the gym bag and her ruined dress before she had a chance to argue more.
"Great just what I fucking needed today." She muttered following him and ignoring another round of apologies from the factory owner as she put her head round the door making sure the car was as close as it could be to the building before darting toward it and throwing herself inside pleased that true to his word Ollie had got rid of any photographer who might decide it would make a fun snap to take her picture while she was in that state.
"See that wasn't so bad was it?" Ollie smiled as Elvis drove away from the factory and she glared at him.
"It was a fucking disaster just get me back to the hotel so I can get a fucking massage before tonight or I'll be so tense I'll end up punching someone and that really will make the press's day."
"What the fuck is this? You told me the fuckin factory visit went without a fuckin hitch I don't call this fuckin without a hitch." Malcolm shouted storming through the DoSAC offices throwing a copy of The Sun onto Ollie's desk where he and Nicola stood looking at the email he'd just received.
"It was fine we didn't get the photo op but I got them to take lots of nice ones last night so…" Ollie began before glancing at the image on the front of the paper. "Oh shit Nicola I swear I told them all to go, I thought they had!"
"Well clearly they fuckin hadn't Jesus fuckin Christ could you look any more of a fuckin mess?" Malcolm shouted as Nicola lifted the paper and stared at the image of herself on one side on the floor under a pile of children covered in ice cream and on the other side getting into the car in Ollie's oversized clothing with the head line "Necessity is the mother of invention" and the sub heading "DoSAC minister in food fight with local children and comes out bottom of the pile."
"It wasn't fucking intentional Malcolm so you can stop being such a wanker about it if you hadn't sent us to the fucking place in the first place it wouldn't have…"
"I don't want to fuckin hear it, the PM wants to see you later and I suggest you come up with a better fuckin story that "it wasn't my fault"." Malcolm interrupted storming off before she could say anything else as she turned to Ollie and h held up his hands in defence.
"I'm sorry I really thought they were gone I mean where the hell was he hiding to get that?" He said quietly his heart sinking just a little as she let out a frustrated growl before storming off toward her office. He may have had to get inventive at the time to get her out of the factory but now he knew he was going to have to come up with something seriously fucking good if she was ever going to let him talk to her again let alone touch her and he wasn't sure even he could think of anything that would make this all go away or make it any less hilarious.