Normally Acting ~

I'd always thought I would be an innocent happy person, and grow up to be the man my father was. Kind, caring and 'normal?'
I laughed at that word, what's 'normal?' Got to do with anything?

Dear mother and father, I hate you. You took me to visit a relative at such a young age. And ever since I can remember, I'd beg you to let me stay home instead of going to family gatherings. If only you knew, how much it hurt to be there.
No one understood, you all smiled as if it was 'normal' and everything was okay, but you didn't know what happened when you left me alone in his care.

He wasn't a nice person, uncle Trancy wasn't a nice person at all.

He just acted infront of you, just acted. So did I, I just acted. I don't have to now though. You left me in the clutches of a perverted middle aged man.

My innocence was crushed, my heart was ripped apart, my soul was detached, my body shattered and my life was ruined.

You realized I wasn't the same person anymore father, and you wondered why. Was my begging and hesitation not enough to make you see, he threatened me, what could I do? but suffer in silence. For years.

No one noticed, and I just acted. Until gatherings and visits were annouced, you kept it from me for as long as possible. That way I couldn't back out, because you knew I'd refuse to go.
You acted, as if we were going elsewhere and I didn't realize until we arrived at the that place I called hell.

I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed and cried on the ground, at the doors of hell. Family looking on like I was mad, and him. Him just, acting as if he was concerned. He wasn't my uncle at all. I wasn't his newphew at all. I was just a game for him.

I didn't want this...

I didn't want them to think of me as crazy...

But I lost everything, and finally my sanity too. I didn't need it, I didn't need anyone.

I scarred my skin, I bathed in cold water, I wasn't happy, I covered my emotions, I hid myself for years, just staring out the window of my room.

But that night in December came, such a glorious night. Mother, you were crying. Crying your rotten brother was dead.

You mourned over that rotten, impure bastard, while I just laughed in the shadows.

Sometime later that most amazing funeral was held, it couldn't have been more glourious! Listening to the priest, listening to everyone say their goodbyes.

That silence in the church, they all bowed their heads in silence. Listening to the priest carry out his speech, at first mother. You looked at me as if I were crying.

You heard that little whimper escape me, but I couldn't help myself, the fact that my pathetic excuse for an uncle was dead, set before me in a coffin, placed inside a catheral I wish I could have brought down on every person in it.

I laughed, laughed like a maniac, catching all their attention. It was a revserse of that day I had collapsed at the Trancy manor.

Laughing like crazy instead of crying, by now I knew what they all thought of me, but did I care? No, I was happy. I was going to be happy for a change. No matter how misreable they are.

My parents forced me to see a doctor reguarly after this, I remember I'd sit and talk with the daugther of doctor in the waiting room, a small red headed girl. She was so kind, I'd never met anyone that I trusted so much.

That I grew such a close bond with her.

But she spiraled into a depression after her sister and spouse was killed in a house fire at their estate. Once again, I was left with no one. She left town.

I was still stuck with my parents I hated so intensely. But I had freedom, I came and went as I pleased.

That sweet taste of freedom... And years past, I wasn't a kid anymore, I wasn't a teenager anymore. I was an adult. And far from the man I wanted to be, I was something I considered, much, much better.

And then that night came, I followed you mother and father on your journey to see uncles grave. It was late at night, I loved watching the moon. Glimmer so brightly and stand out against the night.

With me, I carried a dagger, with that sharp blade I ended your existance father, and these hands I strangled you with mother. I watched those violet eyes fear me. I felt that last breath depart from you. And I just laughed.

Oh, you stupid people. Why didn't you listen to me. Why didn't you just understand, there was nothing wrong with me. It was all you, mother and father. You took me to the man that took everything from your son!

At your funeral, I just acted 'normal'

Dear mother and father, I hate you.

Aleister Chamber, the Viscount of Druitt.