"Process."

Yet another take on what could be in store for Supernatural's 8th Season..

A/N: So I've read online that Sam is going to just assume that Dean and Castiel are dead so Sam won even be looking for Dean and Cas or trying to bring them back... SERIOUSLY?... OH but it gets better... supposedly Sam quits hunting and goes and tries to live a "normal" life (again) and ends up getting a girlfriend (according to the stuff online her name's gonna be Amelia and she's kind of a damaged soul herself)and being happy for a little while yet his happiness is going to be tempered by the grief he feels over all he's lost and it's going to be potrayed as if a whole year has passed since Castiel and Dean disapeared... Then "poof" Dean and Cas are just going to magically be back at the beginning of the Season and we're not going to be finding out what happened in Purgatory except for through flashbacks and character narrations and we're not going to know everything that happened with Sam during that year either except through flashbacks and his own narration... REALLY?.. I'm happy Sam could find some happiness really I am but from what I've read Dean's going to be like "Why didn't you try to find me?" and that's going to end up coming between Sam and Dean... I hate it when something comes between them and it happens EVERY TIME they're starting to get close as brothers again (Anyone else but me notice that?)...Anyway from what I read the way Dean and Cas get out of Purgatory is someone helps them and now Dean is indebted to that someone and Dean ends up in a "relationship" with that someone and that also could wind up driving a wedge between Sam and Dean but from what I understand they'll get back their close brotherly bond as Dean ends up realizing why Sam moved on the way he did.. It just doesn't say when in the Season that'll happen.

A/N: The next author's note is mostly a rant so read with caution!

A/N: I honestly don't know how I'm going to feel about this Season all I know is this Season better give me some closure on some things because my heart hurts enough already from all the crap that went wrong with Seasons 6 & 7 (i.e.: they didn't show enough of "crazy" Sam, they didn't show us enough of Sam's Hell or enough of what happened while Sam was souless, they brought Cas back way to soon and fixed Sam's "crazy" also way to soon and they robbed all the meaning out of Bobby's death...) (There's a few more issues I had with Seasons 4, 5, 6 & 7 like the fact that Castiel deliberately betrayed Sam and Dean by breaking the wall in Sam's head but as I look back on past episodes I see that Cas has always been manipulating Sam and Dean's relationship somehow (like taking Dean's amulet right after Dean was hurt by Sam's choice of Ruby over him then giving it back and calling it worthless right after Dean is hurt by what he sees in Sam's Heaven (which I believe Sam's Heaven was tampered with) ) and I believe even though Cas "helped" "fix" Sam's "crazy" that, that itself was done for the future manipulation of the brothers (and it's kind of convenient that right as Sam and Dean are getting close yet again, they've forgiven each other's mistakes and they're ready to move forward, that Dean and Cas wind up in Purgatory once again seperating Sam and Dean from each other but also putting Castiel in a position of being what could come between them. Hmmm.. It seems awful odd to me that when that surge happened it only took Dean and Cas when Sam and Cas were standing relatively the same distance from Dean... It makes one wonder why Sam wasn't whisked off to Purgatory as well. And there's several other things that have me thinking that while Castiel might not be a bad guy something tells me he's definitely not entirely good... I believe that Cas has been following Heaven's orders this ENTIRE time (I said Heaven's not necessarily GOD'S) and has been purposely driving wedges in between Sam and Dean where ever he can because the angels want for Sam to become so completely corupt that there's nothing good left in him so that there's nothing good left to fight when Lucifer takes him as a vessel again (and since he's said "yes" once I think that Lucifer doesn't need any further consent. And I think Dean is also kind of a hypocrite because there's several times he's trying to make Sam the perfect brother or he's trying to replace Sam with someone who he thinks is better and to me that's just as much as running away from your family as packing your bags and leaving them behind, but I believe that to is something that was manipulated by angels and demons. In fact I believe that Sam and Dean have been and are still being played by both sides because there's far to many things that add up to that (i.e. Meg is the demon that kidnapped their dad and is the demon responsible for Ellen and Jo's death yet it's okay to let her not only live but it's also okay that Cas has a thing for her (When Dean got all peeved at Sam for Ruby and here Cas is making the same kind of mistakes Sam made (making deals with a demon, having a relationship with a demon, betraying Dean, opening a portal to another realm and unleashing more than one monster (except Cas knew what he was doing and Sam didn't know killing Lillith would set Lucifer free)) except on a larger scale that ends up having worse consequences for several people (Like Bobby dying for instance (that wouldn't have happened if Cas hadn't been a dumbass and hadn't ended up letting the Leviathan out of Purgatory) yet Dean forgives Cas with the one size fits all "You thought you were doing the right thing." when Cas remembers who he is and what he's done all in one single episode (yet it took like 6 episodes (in both Seasons 4& 5) for Dean to get off his high horse and forgive Sam for the things he did (yes Dean snaps at Cas later but I think the things Dean said were meant for Sam just as much (if not more) as it was for Cas (I think what Dean said to Cas was what he'd wanted to say to Sam during his breakdown but true to Dean's nature he bit his tongue and bottled it up instead until he finally erupted at Cas because a part of him still couldn't do that directly to Sam)... Is it just me or is the older than time, benevolent, practically omnipresent being less forgivable when compaired to a mortal man that's being played like a fiddle and six ways to Sunday by both sides (honestly what mortal man could fight that)? Maybe it's all a test, maybe Cas is a good guy who is following Heaven's orders and those orders are to test the strength of the fabric that is Sam and Dean's bond, maybe even Castiel has tests that he has to go through... Maybe I just watch WAY to much Supernatural!))

WARNINGS: There's going to be some gore and violence later, maybe some sexual situations and a few curse words... I'm tacking on all warnings that could be imagined and rating it "M" just in case, because I don't know where it'll end up going.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the show Supernatural although I would love to write for the show.. So if the cast, directors or writers ever read my work and like it give me a shout out and let me know!

Plot: Sam thinks Castiel and Dean are dead so he tries to move on with his life.. then Castiel and Dean come back and they're both angry with that fact that not only did Sam not even try to help them but it seems he didn't even try to find them... This story is how they all "process" everything that's happened over the course of their existences...

As always please review!

Chapter 1 "Ghost of Christmas past."... "The Amulet."

"You are well and truely alone." Crowley mocked right before he disapeared and now the weight of grief settled in Sam's heart as he realized that both Cas and Dean were gone and there was no way to get them back this time.

Sam clenched his jaw as he tried to fight the onslaught of tears that threatened to fall. He knew that Dean wouldn't want him to go off the deep end again so instead of outright losing his mind he decided to handle his grief in the healthiest way he could manage but that decision didn't silence the small voice in the back of his mind that kept telling him that everyone he cares about is dead and then continued to voice the desire to join them... As tempting as that small voice was Sam moved forward.

First Sam carried out what would have probably been one of Dean's final wishes by finding a suitable final resting place for the Impala. Then Sam tore a hole in the seam of the upholstery of the back of the driver's seat and fished out the amulet he had hidden there over two years ago.

He remembered giving it to Dean for Christmas and the tears he shed the night Dean had thrown it away like it and the love it represented meant nothing and he remembered fishing it out of the trashcan. But then Sam hadn't been able to find the strength to ask Dean to love him enough to wear it again and had hidden it instead hoping that he could prove to Dean that his love wasn't "worthless". Then he lost the courage to offer it to Dean again because he knew his big brother and he hadn't wanted to make Dean feel guilty or obligated so the amulet had remained hidden. Now it was the only thing he had left of Dean and he couldn't decide whether to keep it with him or bury it because that's all there was of Dean to bury and it was as close as the only way he could now lay Dean to rest...

As always please review! Also I promised an interactive story so if you want Sam to keep the amulet then put a #1 in your review if you want him to bury it then put a #2 in your review (I'll write both anyway and will seperate the outcomes into seperate spin off fics that will be the A/U's to this story but what goes in the next chapter of this story will depend on reviews and if there's no reviews that tell me what readers want after a week then I'll just write what I feel fits best and give another option to chose the outcome with the next chapter) (hopefully that makes sense) also I'm open to sugestions if readers want to filter some of their ideas my way that aren't in the options (But just to let everyone know there's not going to be any Wincest, Destiel, Sam/Cas (I don't know what fans refere to that as... But I think it's Sestiel) or any homosexual slashing of any main characters in this fic as I want to stay as close to cannon as possible...( and I promise to write something for slash fans in the future.)