Author's babbling

I was kinda feeling really down when I wrote this, but the story isn't as angsty as I expected it to be, so I guess that's a good thing.

JK Rowling owns the characters and the title is by Linkin Park.

Breaking the Habit

The restaurant was very elegant. It was a Friday night, 8 pm, but there were less than 10 visitors present. Hermione was 90% positive that she saw Minister himself slipping through the back door. That was unnecessary; if the reporters were around here, they sure knew how to stay invisible. However, it was obvious that this was an elite and expensive restaurant. Ron had booked the table by the window.

It must've been hard for him to part from all that money, Hermione thought.

She was sitting at their table. She glanced at her watch and sighed. He was late. No real surprise there. Still, it would've been nice if he made an effort to show up on time for their three years anniversary. But, after all that time, she found herself not caring anymore.

She signalled the waiter and her glass was soon refilled. She stared out of the window, into the night. The velvety blue sky was sprinkled with little diamonds. It was the middle of the summer, but the light breeze made the weather bearable.

What a wonderful night, and yet there she was, alone. It might have irritated her, but she had stopped getting mad at him a long time ago.

"Hermione, please. You know I don't mean no harm." How she despised that voice. And his grammar.

"Ron, I asked you to do one single thing, and you failed me!"She closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to look at his pleading eyes. "This was an important job, and the only thing you had to do was stay at home and sign the damn package!" She screamed the last part at him.

"Hermione, please, I love you, you gotta know that." There it was again. She closed her eyes and let her breath out through gritted teeth.

"I know you do, Ron. You make it perfectly clear."

Seeing that she calmed down a bit, he carefully approached her. When she didn't hex him, he put her arms around her waist. She was looking down, trying hard not to run away. Run away from his touch, from his words, from his golden cage.

When he made love to her that night, she entertained herself with random thoughts about universe, life and dinner (she suddenly had a craving for an apple pie), anything to stop herself from throwing up. He seemed not to notice.

"You seemed a little tense, babe. Is something wrong?"

So he did notice. She looked at him with glassy, dead eyes. She couldn't explain it, not even to herself, much less to him. Maybe it was the hormones. Maybe Mother Nature will punch her uterus again. Maybe it was the sudden realisation that hit her. She realized that she's not living her own life. She's merely following the path someone has made for her. The perfect family, the perfect grades, the perfect behaviour, the perfect friend-turned-into-boyfriend cliché. She was living a fairy tale life, and...She was unhappy? How egoistic you have to be to think something like that, she thought. She was so tired, she just wanted to close her eyes and fall into dreamless sleep. Yes, a simple potion should enable her a peaceful night. She got up and gently shook his hand off her arm.

"No. Everything is perfect." She flashed him a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

Over the next few days, the nausea she felt in his presence slowly faded away into polite uninterest. She didn't lie to herself, she loved Ron. Maybe not in the way he loved her. He was her friend, one of her best friends. But they were meant for each other. Everyone said so, so it must be true, right?

"The weasel didn't come?" A lazy voice brought her back from the memories. He was chuckling, as if they just exchanged some inside joke.

"I don't remember inviting you."

"Mmm, so something's wrong. What's up with Weasley? Or better, what's not up?"

She rolled her eyes at him, and took a long gulp of her wine. "Grow up, Malfoy."

"Come on, it's not hard, is it?" He smiled innocently.

She arched an eyebrow at him.

"Having a casual conversation with a colleague from Ministry isn't all that hard, right?" He explained.

She indifferently shook her head.

He sighed. "You very so much more fun back in the days."

Her hazel eyes flashed dangerously. "Oh, you mean when you bullied me in school? When you almost got us all killed," her voice was rising, "because you made some wrong choices?"She mock-mimicked him. "Or was it when we had to work in the same department in Ministry for four months and we...?" She stopped herself from saying whatever she wanted to say at the moment when she saw an all-too-familiar redhead entering the restaurant. It was only then that she noticed that she was standing, a short, big-eyed waitress (that seemed a bit afraid of Hermione) was trying to calm her down, some heads from other tables were turning towards her, but what really caught her off guard was that sad, almost nostalgic smile on Malfoy's face.

"You were alive, Granger."

"What is going on here, Hermione?" Ron's worried eyes scanned the situation. "You! You stay away from my girlfriend, you hear?"

Malfoy eyed him up and down and then turned to Hermione, "I told you it wasn't that hard, didn't I?"

And then happened something that warmed up his heart. He did his best not to let it show on his face, but he couldn't stop his eyes from smiling when a laugh escaped her lips. A first real laugh in so long he had forgotten the sound of it.

Ron was red in his face (that so doesn't look good with his hair, Draco thought) and looked too upset to make sense in his babbling.

Draco gave her one last look; a smile was hovering over her lips. He nodded at her and in the next moment he was gone.

She turned her attention back to Ron. The busty blonde waitress appeared with a glass of water and he greedily drank it. There was a time when she found his jealousy cute. But it slowly started to grow and turn into something nastier and it didn't stop.

"Hermione, you're home! Finally! Where were you?"

She was taking off her coat. It was a chilly January day, but she has always liked winter. The air just smelled...good. Fresh. Clean. Free.

"I was at work. I've told you how we've been cleaning up the paperwork..."Her face was flushed red, hair mussed (from the wind, of course), snowflakes melting in her hair.

"Who is 'we'?"

She hesitated. "Some folks from the neighbouring department. Are you sure you're fine, Ron?"

"I am not fine, you are late! You're an hour late!"

"Ron, I left you a voice mail."

He looked confused. "You should've sent a letter."

"Ron, we've been over this." Tired, oh so tired. "Most wizards use cell phones these days."

She looked around the kitchen. "Why didn't you go out to grab something to eat? Invite some friends to go out with you, have a few laughs..."

This time he looked honestly startled. "You're the only friend I need, Hermione."

"I'm sorry that bastard ruined our dinner." He said, taking another bite of Nutella cake he ordered for dessert. "I wanted this dinner to be special."

She looked up from her apple pie. "It's ok, Ron."

He put his hand over hers, making her stop eating. "I mean, really special, Hermione."

He got to his knees.

"Ron, what are you doing? Ron, stop."

He ignored her. The heads turned to them again. Seems like Hermione was their entertainment for the evening.

"Hermione, we have been together for three years now, and it' been wonderful, really. You're always there for me, no matter how badly I screw up, and I want you to be with me forever. Hermione, will you marry me?"

Forever.

She was painfully aware of everyone looking at her; some younger wizards were even recording it. Muggle world and magical world are really merging more and more, Hermione thought distantly, as if she wasn't in the middle of the scene.

"Hermione?" he said, expecting. Always expecting something.

Something broke inside of her. "Yes." She whispered.

People cheered around her, someone opened the champaign, but the only thing she could see was the ring Ron slipped on her finger. A simple, gold band. A perfect lock for her perfect golden cage.

Tears were falling on her white gown. Mascara was running down her cheeks. She couldn't care less.

Someone knocked on the door.

"I'll be out in the minute, Ginny, I'm fine!" She yelled and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy, her makeup ruined and she was expected to walk down the aisle in less than 5 minutes.

There's that word again. Expected. She didn't want to let anyone down. She has lived her whole life trying to satisfy everyone, from her parents to these damn guests on this damn wedding. She couldn't bring herself to disappoint them and run away, but God knows that's the only thing she wanted at the moment.

"Hermione?" It wasn't Ginny. It was the Weasley she was about to marry. "Hermione, you're making a scandal, everyone's looking for you. What are you doing?"

She tried to compose herself.

Can't afford to make a scandal on my wedding day, she thought bitterly. She pulled out her wand from her purse and made herself presentable. And then she pulled on her mask, the mask she wore every day-she plastered a big smile on her face and got out.

Five minutes later, everyone was at their positions, the music way playing, Ron was staying by the altar, and she was walking between the rows of benches. When she reached the altar, she tuned to look at the crowd; she couldn't bear looking into his pathetic eyes.

Ruffled blond hair caught her attention. She met his eyes. He wasn't smiling this time.

"Hey, Granger. Pass me the Decree nr. 575."

"Mhmm." She dug out the decree from the pile of papers on the desk and handed it over to him. They have been going through the piles for a good half of the day. Every Ministry employee had to face the paperwork sometime or another.

He mumbled a thanks and stared at the paper for a while. Annoyed, she kicked his shin under the table.

"Get back to work, Malfoy."

"Whoa, you're an impatient one. I need to rest. We men are simple creatures, but we need to rest sometimes. I'll be ready to go again in a few minutes, don't you worry."

She scoffed. "Spare me your pitiful remarks."

"You're so pretty that I'll get back to work in no time."

"Malfoy, stop going around and flirting with every girl you see. You give them wrong ideas."

"Is that how you feel?" He suddenly looked concerned.

"Like you care."

He sighed. "Don't you ever get tired of that?"

"Of what?"

"Having a stick up your arse?"

She glared at him. "I do not have a stick up my arse."

"Well, you sure act like you do. Do you ever have fun, Granger? Do you ever live?" He leaned back in his chair and put his hand behind his head.

Outside, snow was falling.

"...till death do you part?"

She jerked her head back to the priest. Shit, she thought.

Ron looked at her in surprise. "Hermione?"

Shit, did I say that out loud?

"Yes, you did. Hermione, you're supposed to say I do."

"I know what I'm supposed to say, Ronald. Here, have these…"

She gave the bouquet of white lilies to the priest. The silence in the church was deafening.

"Now, if you'd excuse me…" She made her way across the church, towards the door. Her steps were easy, she was skipping. She has never felt more free than at that moment. She heard Ron yelling something after her; she had almost made it out of the church. He raced after her, caught her by the arm, forcing her to turn around. She laughed. It echoed in church, most of the guests still too shocked. She pushed the heavy door and went out, dragging Ron with her (he was still clinging onto her arm; it was almost starting to hurt).

"Hermione, what is going on? Have you completely lost your mind?"

"No, Ron," she laughed again, "my mind is right here." She tapped her forehead with her index finger and burst into laughter again.

Best man caught up with them.

"Ron, stop it, you're hurting her!" Harry pulled Ron off her. There was an angry red handprint on her arm. She didn't even notice.

Guests were spilling out of the church, confused. Most of them decided that the wedding was off, and decided to go back to their own boring lives, but some stayed in little groups, gossiping and expecting to see another outburst. She laughed in their nosy faces, ignoring Ron's annoying voice.

Everything stopped when she saw him. He smiled at her and she smiled back. Life was simple again. She was young and free and alive.

Isn't that enough?