Hi everyone :)
It's been a while since I tried a Sailor Moon fic and even longer since I've written a one-shot. So, it's about due time I did so.
So, we read this poem in English at school the other day called "Correspondents" by the English poet Carol Ann Duffy and then we were given an assignment to write a creative piece based on one of her poems. This is what I got as a result. I don't think it's the greatest thing I've ever done but it's not the worst either. There's no real plot, mostly just Princess Serenity pointing out how pointless society is sometimes. However, I thought it would be nice to share this with you all and see what you all think.
This is set in a slightly AU Silver Millenium. It's a little bitter sweet but nothing majorly heavy. Probably give you a warm fuzzy feeling rather than make you want to cry.
Enough from me. Please enjoy.
Correspondents by Carol Ann Duffy
When you come on Thursday, bring me a letter. We have
the language of stuffed birds, teacups. We don't have
the language of bodies. My husband will be here.
I shall enquire after your wife, stirring his cup
with a thin spoon, and my hand shall not tremble.
Give me the letter as I take your hat. Mention
the cold weather. My skin burns at the sight of you.
We skim the surface, gossip. I baked this cake and you
eat it. Words come from no where, drift off
like the smoke from his pipe. Beneath my dress, my breasts
swell for your lips, belly churns to be stilled
by your brown hands. This secret life is Gulliver,
held down by strings of pleasantries. I ache. Later
you letter flares up in the heat and is gone.
Dearest Beloved, pretend I am with you...I read
your dark words and do to myself things
you can only imagine. I hardly know myself.
Your soft white body in my arms...When we part,
you kiss my hand, bow from the waist, all passion
patiently restrained. Your servant, Ma'am. Now you write
wild phrases of love. The words blur as I cry out once.
Next time we meet, in drawing-room or garden,
passing our letters cautiously between us, out eyes
fixed carefully on legal love, think of me here
on my marriage-bed an hour after you've left.
I have called your name over and over in my head
at the point your fiction brings me to. I have kissed
your sweet name on the paper as I knelt by the fire.
Another morning means another day. Another day means more rules, more effort to remain proper in polite society, more lying about my true feelings.
I stretch languadly as I wake up. I wonder what time it is. The sun is almost fully up but still no one has come to wake me up yet. How odd...Oh well, no matter. I may be a princess but that doesn't mean I'm incapable of taking care of myself.
I shuffle out of my bed, throwing the heavy, pure white douvet off of me and swing my legs over the side. I take a moment to enjoy the feel of the fluffy white carpet beneath my bare feet before standing and heading to my wardrobe. It's when I reach it, that I remember what day it is. Thursday. Oh that's just great. I hate Thursdays because Thursdays meant entertaining day. That meant a visit from my oh so delightfully dull fiance. Fun. Wait though...Didn't mother also say that Earth's Royal Family are coming today as well? I think she did...I'm sure she did...I hope she did, because that means I get to see him...
As a princess, I don't get many perks. I have to learn boring politics. I have to act like a proper young lady at all times. I have to abide by stupid rules of high society. I have to marry someone I find incrediably boring. On the plus side though, I get to meet princes. Handsome princes. Handsome princes who you take one look at and can only think, wow! Granted, I've only ever met one prince like that but what a prince he is! Beautiful, silky, midnight black hair. Gorgeous, deep blue eyes. Amazingly smooth, pale skin. Strong, lean figure. More improtantly though, he is the kindest, most gentle soul I have ever had the honour to meet. He is perfect and many would agree with me, including his own fiancee.
When I first met him, it took seconds for it to click for the both of us. We became instant friends and also were quite taken with each other. Mother had only just started looking for a fiance for me and I had already been seriously considering pointing her in his direction. That is, until SHE came along and draped herself all over him. Her name is Beryl. Beryl. Just say it. Beryl. What kind of name is that? It has no music to it, it has no flow and it rhymes with peril. To this day I still can't figure out why his parents chose her. I would be soooooo much better for him. He knows it to. That's why he loves me.
A sudden knock snapped me out of my thoughts and I realised I had just been standing in front of my open wardrobe, staring into it for the past few minutes. I turned around to see my four guardians come in. I held back a sigh and reached into the wardrobe so I could start browsing through my many dresses, making it look like I was actually doing something.
"Good morning Serenity." Venus greeted cheerfully as she bounced in the room. She's always happy, even in the morning. It's weird. I can't see how anyone can be so alert first thing in the morning.
"Is it?" I muttered in reply, quietly enough so that I knew I wouldn't be heard properly.
"Don't mumble Serenity." Mars quickly scolded me while she moved over to my dressing table, ready to re-style my hair as she always did every morning. I bit back a witty reply and forced myself to not glare at her. Although, it wasn't like I had to. Rules didn't count for much when it was just me and my four guardians. I could yell and scream and shout at them and I wouldn't get into any serious trouble. That's why they're here. Mother understands that I can't be perfect all the time. She knows I need ways to vent. I usually cry rather than shout though. Anyway, I force myself to remain apparantly calm and collected. Helps if I get in the frame of mind early on in the day. Gets me set for the rest of the day.
"Are you looking for one in particular?" Mercury inquired as she came over to me.
"Not really." I replied through a sigh.
"How about this one then?" She suggested after reaching into the wardrobe and pulling out a white dress that really didn't look all that different from the others. I nodded my consent and was then swept away into the bathroom where I was washed, dried and dressed before being led back out to my bedroom and seated at my dressing table. Jupiter began to set up my breakfast for me while Mars got to work on my hair.
"So what's on today?" I queried, pretending I didn't know so I could check one certain thing.
"It's Thursday. You know that Thursdays are always spent with your fiance." Mars reminded as she gently twisted my hair to finish off the bun. She placed a pin in it to secure it before moving onto the other one.
"Plus, it's the monthly visit from Earth's Royal Family starts today." Mercury noted absently as she accepted a cup of tea from Jupiter. I supressed a huge grin of delight and remained neutral. As far as I know, my four guardians don't know about my feelings for the Earth prince so I'm not going to take the chance and let on. But he is coming today! Yay! I can't wait to see him. I wonder if he has a letter for me? He usually does bring one along and then writes more as the two days go by. I can feel the excitement begin to bubble inside me already. I don't care if I have to endure Mr Dull, participate in boring conversations and swap worthless gossip. I get to see him again. Mid-day cannot come fast enough...
It's mid-day and mother and I are outside, waiting for the visiting Royal Family to pull up in their carriage and then exit before greeting them. It's terribly hot and the dress I'm wearing isn't making the situation any better...Wait! I can just see them coming into view. Oh, I'm so excited! Can't let it show though. Can't let on how glad I am to see him. He won't either. I know how he'll feel though. The same as me because we are the same. He and I. The same. The carriage comes closer and my heart is beating a mile a minute. It feels like I'm going to burst. The carriage stops and the door opens. Old man equals king. Virdict, no interest. Old woman equals queen. Virdict, no interest. Then there he is...
Endymion. My dear, dear Endymion. Time hasn't changed him. Still dashing, still breath-taking, still perfect enough to steal my breath away. But wait...Someone's missing. Where's Beryl? She's no where in sight...Could it be...She hasn't come? Is it too much to hope for? That for once, I won't have to pretend that her throwing herself at him doesn't bother me? Goddess, I hope so! As the three royals approach us, my eyes briefly lock with Endymion's. In a mere second, more emotions and thoughts are conveyed through our eyes then will probablybe spoken for the whole two days he's here.
They finally reach my mother and me and the next few minutes are spent standing silently as my mother greets his parents. His parents greet my mother. They discuss meaningless twaddle that neither myself nor Endymion really care about. To tell you the truth, I doubt even they care about it. After a ridiculous amount of time is spent with the adults greeting each other, it's time to include the kids in the equation. Mother gives me the cue and I curtsie to Endymion's parents with a small "Majesties". Then it's Endymion's turn. He gives my mother a bow before turning to me.
My heart starts to pound so loudly that I'm sure my mother, whose standing next to me, can hear it. He gently takes my hand in his and holds it lightly as he bows down and places a chaste kiss on my knuckles. I almost drop right there. Such an accepted and expected gesture can speak so many levels when you know there are less platonic feelings behind it. I can't stop myself from visibly swaying and I feel Endymion tighten his grip on my hand a little and bring his other hand up to my arm to support me. I inwardly cringe, partly from embarassment and partly because having Endymion touch me is making it hard to focus on being "proper".
"Serenity?" My mother said, concern evident in her voice. Oh good, concern. I can play on the concern.
"It's nothing mother. I'm just a little over-heated. It was just a small dizzy spell. Nothing to be alarmed about." I assure her knowing full well that my tone hints that I'm just putting on a brave face. And it's not all a lie. I am really hot. It's because of this horrible dress. So many layers all trapping heat. I feel like I'm wearing a fire place.
"Do you not feel well? Maybe you should go and lay down." Mother suggested with a light frown gracing her face as she reached for me and I stepped forward obidiently, away from Endymion. I must admit, that idea is ever so tempting. It'll give me a reason to not have to entertain Mr Dull when he gets here. Alas, Endymion though. It's been so long since we were last able to speak and I so badly want to spend some time with him.
"Really, I'm fine mother. There's no need to fuss." I insisted, deciding to stay with Endymion. I'd be able to endure anything, even Tea with Mr Dull, if it meant I could spend some time with my dear Endymion. Mother still looked concerned and for a moment I thought she was going to insist on me going to lay down.
"Excuse me, but Princess, if you feel faint, please allow me to escort you inside." Endymion suddenly spoke up, giving me a small bow in the process. I stared dumbly at him for a few moments before what he had said really registered. When it did, it took all my self control to stop myself from throwing myself at him. I quickly threw a glance at my mother to seek her approval and she simply gave me a small nod. I contained a grin of pure delight as I turned back to Endymion.
"Thank you for your kind gesture, Highness." I said politely as I gave him a small curtsie. He said nothing in reply but simply held his arm out for me. I took a light hold on it and mother took that as her cue to lead us all inside. Endymion and I waited for his parents to follow my mother before we followed on behind them.
Inside the palace, it was so much wonderfully cooler. The marble floors and walls kept the palace at a nice temperature even when it was blazing hot outside. My heels click lightly on the hard floor as I walk by Endymion's side, my arm linked through his. Oh, how easy it would be to just slid my hand into his, lace our fingers together and tell our parents how we feel. It would be so easy to do, but it would be so hard to live with the consequences of such rash actions. I glance up at the man I love to see his face stony and neutral. I begin to wonder what he's thinking. Is he wishing the same as me? To ignore society, ignore duty, and just, for once, to be ourselves? All too quickly, we've reached the parlour and I have to let go of Endymion's arm. I do so as though it's nothing and no great loss, before taking my dutiful spot at the small tea service which has been prepared by a servant.
Okay, now I'm just a princess, I only follow the rules, I don't make them up. That's why we have this stupid tradition. Mother believes that part of being a respectable lady is to be able to pour tea with grace, dignity and refinement. As a princess and future queen, I have to make pouring tea an art form. It's stupid really. We have a palace full of servants to wash the china, make the tea, set the tea up, but I'm the one who has to pour out the tea. As with most rules of society, it makes no sense at all.
So, I gracefully sit down on a delicate stool by the small table on which the tea service is resting on and take a light hold on the elegant tea pot. It's rather boring though. The tea pot I mean. It's white. It's kinda swirly. That's about it. I've always thought it would be a much better idea to have a pretty one that's decorated with hand-painted flowers or even just a bit of gold gilded onto it. Mother, however, insists on plain white though. She says that it's represents our, as in the Moon, purity and that it's better to have neutral china. Why? It's not like the china is going to offend anyone! But that's how our society is. Everything about appearance and making sure not to offend anyone who's important.
What was I doing...Oh yes, pouring the tea. Pouring tea is a very precise art form. You have to make it look like you're putting absolutely no effort into it at all. It has to be fluid and graceful and it's best to do it with your eyes closed. It's pathetic isn't it? That's society for you. I pour out my mother a cup first, then I hand Endymion's mother and father their cups at the same time and then I serve Endymion.
After pouring his cup, I easily get to my feet and go over to hand it to him. He gently takes it from me and for an all to brief moment, our fingers brush against one another. I'm not sure if he meant to do it or if it was just an accident. To be honest I don't really care if it was or not. I'm just glad I got a chance to touch him before I burst. I looked at his face to try and catch his eyes but he didn't take the hint. I hold in a sigh and turn to go back to the tea service to pour myself my own cup. My mother and Endymion's parents have already begun to chat away about polite things that neither actually meant so Endymion and I start our own conversation.
"Where is your fiancee Endymion? She was due to visit today as well was she not?" I inquired politely as I took a seat across from him.
"She is ill with the flu." He replied simply.
"Oh really? My, that is a shame. I was so looking forward to seeing her again." I said, trying to sound suitably disheartened.
"Indeed my Lady? I've always had the impression that you and Beryl never cared for one another." He told me and the look on his face told me he knew our whole conversation was interlaced with hidden meaning.
"Where ever did you get that idea Endymion? I adore spending time with Beryl. Our conversations are the most riveting I have." I informed with a prim smile. Endymion let out a chuckle and I knew it was only a release so that he didn't burst into hysterics. What I had just said was true. I do like spending time with Beryl. Only because she is the most pompous, self-absorbed, stuck up cow in the entire solar system though. Making fun of her and getting her all worked up is the only reason I put up with having to play hostess to her when she vistis.
Endymion and I continued to chat away and I was having the time of my life. It was almost as if we forgot that our parents were in the same room and we both just let go. We laughed openly at each others jokes rather than just giving polite smiles and low chuckles. We picked up on things that could be teased and teased openly. I even moved my chair closer to him so we could speak more quietly. I was having such a wonderful time...And then he came. A knock came at the door a few moments before it opened and a servant came in.
"Your Majesty, the Princess' fiance is here." The young man adressed my mother. My heart sank as I heard his words and I threw Endymion a look of despair. He seemed to share my feelings as he looked just as distraut. So much for having an interesting visit.
"Thank you. Show him in will you?" My mother requested. The servant bowed and left.
I felt frustrated tears begin to sting the back of my eyes and I discreetly glared at my mother. Oh, how easy it would be right now to throw one Hell of a hissy fit and declare my love for Endymion and my contentment of boring, stuffy Mr Dull. But I can't. I can't embarrass mother like that and, as ashamed as I am to admitt it, I can't embarrass myself like that either. It's too much to risk and too little that might only be gained. It's not a certainty that our parents will drop both of our engagements and let us be together. It's more than likely we'll be scolded for our love and kept apart completely. I couldn't survive if that happened.
So I keep my mouth shut. I don't complain when serving my fiance his tea or when I have to move to sit next to him dutifully. I ignore each remark from him which just begs to be made fun of. I withhold the desire to punch him in his dull, boring gob. I just sit, smile, nod and laugh.
It's dark and late and every sane person on the Moon is peacefully asleep. I'm not though. I'm sneaking down stairs at Goddess knows what time because I can't sleep. Don't ask me why I can't. I haven't got a clue. I'm hoping the guards and the few servants who are still awake are too tired to even be paying that much attention otherwise they'll spot me and I'll be sent back to bed. I'm treated like a little girl sometimes I swear. I think I'll go to the kitchen first, maybe make some tea, steal some of the cup cakes in the pantry. Then I'll head to the parlour and see if I can light a fire. I did it once, I just want to see if I can do it again.
My bare feet make light padding sounds on the cool marble floor as I quickly make my way down various corridors. I come to the kitchen quickly and set about making the tea. It's not too hard really and is actually quite enjoyable. I'd love to have the chance to do things like this, so called sevant work, more often but mother refuses. The most I'm ever allowed to do is pour tea.
With the tea made and a small plate with a few small cakes on it in hand, I silently make my way to the parlour. I nudge the door open with my hip in a very un-princess like manner and then almost drop everything I'm holding when I spot a dark figure sitting by an already lit fire. It took me only a second to realise that it was Endymion lit by a faint orange glow and staring at the flickering flames.
I don't think he's realised I'm there yet. Should I say something? Should I just go over and sit down? Do I dar just drop everything, run over there and ravish him? Okay, not much chance of that happening, but seriously, what should I do? I suddenly realise that I'm still only dressed in a thin night-gown which left very little to the imagination. I felt a blush rise to my cheeks and I was seconds away from turning around and taking myself back to my room, but then, he spoke:
"You can't sleep either hmm?"
I adore his voice. So soft and yet strong. It captivated me like a Siren's song lures in unsuspecting sailors. I knew I had to respond but I couldn't get the words out. I stared at the floor, angry at myself, and blushed ever harder when I felt his eyes fix onto me. I shifted uncomfortably for a few moments before even I tired of the awkwardness. I took a small breath and squared my shoulders before lifting my head and making my way over to where Endymion sat. I set the tray down on a small table just beside the chair Endymion was seated in.
"Would you like some tea?" I inquired gently.
"Please." He answered.
I carefully poured him a cup, thankful that my lapse of concentration and made me grab two cups instead of one. Maybe fate was working to my advantage for once. Once I'd finished, I picked the full cup up and held it out for him. He reached for it and took hold of it but didn't pull it away. His hand lingered with mine on the saucer and I felt the light tickle of his finger tips brushing against my skin. I shyly looked up at him and our eyes met. With that, we were lost.
I can't say how long we stayed like that. Just staring into each other's eyes, our skin lightly touching. It was wonderful though. Simple, but wonderful. Eventually, I had to break the gaze and the contact because my leg was going numb. I slowly retreated, trying to do everything with the ease and grace a princess should possess, but then I over-balanced and ended up falling back and landing with a soft thud on my backside. It took all of a second for Endymion to burst out laughing. I frowned a little before quickly picking myself up and brushing myself off. I knew there wasn't any dust around for me to have picked off but it seemed like a suitable thing to do. Endymion was still laughing by the time I'd finished that and that only annoyed me further. I stepped right up to his side and then poked him in the ribs sharply. He stopped laughing instantly and let out a small, indignant cry.
"What was that for?" He demanded.
"Laughing at my mis-fortune." I answered simply, going to move back to the tea. However, before I'd even moved an inch, Endymion grabbed me around the waist and pulled me onto his lap. I gave a squeal of surprise as I fell back and then went completely silent as I noticed how close we were to each other now.
Our faces were mere millimetres apart, I could feel his warm breath occassionaly puffing against my skin. I felt his strong hand securly holding my waist and his other hand gently held my own. My night-gown had ridden up quite a bit, exposing the pale flesh of my thighs to the empty room and one of the sleeves had fallen down a little, exposing my shoulder. I couldn't help but gulp a little at the situation. It had been some since I'd been in this sort of situation and, even though the last time had been with Endymion, I was still nervous and un-sure. Endymion smiled at me gently and he let his eyes drift shut as he pulled me ever closer so our foreheads touched lightly.
"Endymion?" I whispered gently, staring at his calm, peaceful expression in wonder.
"Shh, don't speak." He murmured gently, his grip around my waist tightening ever so slightly. "Just, please, let me have this moment alone with you."
I didn't say anything, I couldn't say anything, what was there to say? I just brought my arms around and held him back, bringing my hand up to run my fingers gently through his hair. I felt warm and safe and happy, just simply sitting there with him, enjoying his company. I wish everyday was like this, I wish I was marrying Endymion rather than my fiance, I wish neither of us were royalty...
I don't live in a fairy-tale despite the adored looks I get off of the girls in the village. My life is not perfect and most of the time it isn't beautiful. It's ugly. Full of lies and deceite. We live behind a veil of perfection, creating an illusion of happiness, contentment and love. Pull that veil back, the illusion shatters and reality is revealed. And, because of the society we live in, the veil will never be disturbed, because we're all afraid to see the true shallowness of ourselves behind it.
Thank you Miss Duffy for your inspiration :) I doubt you'll ever read this but if you do, I hope you approve.
Hugs
Wings of a Dream
