Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the movie Zootopia are all owned by Disney the great and powerful. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.
Roughed out seven chapters for another story set in the Potter universe (with no Harry). If the school has existed for centuries I figure there are a lot of stories from before Harry was ever born. Anyway, having finished the rough draft of that, I hacked out the first of two chapters for this.
"More to be Pitied than Censured", a sloppy sentimental ballad from 1894.
Do not scorn her with words fierce and bitter
Do not laugh at her shame and downfall
For a moment stop and consider
That a man was the cause of it all.
"Ain't No Rest for the Wicked" by Cage the Elephant, 2008.
Ain't No Rest for the Wicked
Half-asleep Nick reached out, and panicked briefly when Judy wasn't in bed with him. Of course she wasn't. He had told her he had too much work to do last night. She'd offered to stay out of the way, but he knew he'd never have been able to finish what he needed for today with her at his apartment. He smiled as he got back to sleep. He'd tell her when he got to the station. She'd be amused. It was amazing, and frightening, and wonderful how fast their relationship was progressing. Only months earlier he could not have imagined being in a relationship with a rabbit, now he suffered an anxiety attack when he woke up and she wasn't with him.
Ben Clawhauser waved with unusual vigor as Judy entered the First and the rabbit went over to ask about the source of his excitement.
"Nick came early today. He has a cup of good coffee and a croissant for you."
"Are you sure?"
"That the coffee and croissant were for you? Who else?"
"That it was Nick. He's got a fundamental principle never to arrive early."
"He loves you."
"Maybe it wasn't Nick. I'll bet it was Rick!"
"Don't do that to me, Judy. You two almost made my head explode."
"Sorry," the bunny laughed.
"Oh, before you go, how's your sister doing?"
"Suze it finding it harder than expected. She coasted to top grades in Bunnyburrow, but she has to work hard at Zoo U the classes are filled with other animals who were the top at their schools. Ernie... Did you meet Ernie?"
"He's that weasel from Bunnyburrow who's in the Academy?"
"Yes. He knows how to work hard."
"You really think he'll make it through?"
"I know a rabbit who made it through by working hard. Gotta go, I hear I have coffee getting cold."
Nick was leaning back in his chair, feet up on the desk in violation of several unofficial rules for detective behavior. "You're late!"
"Ben stopped me to say you had coffee for me. Then he asked about Suze."
"Think he'll work up the nerve to ask her out?"
"He's too old for her."
"And would have to stand in line behind Terry and Ernie."
"And she's not interested in either of them romantically. She's not interested in an interspecies romance."
"As I recall her older sister was against the idea when she moved to Zootopia."
"Yeah, and look at what happened to her! She fell for a fox! Of all animals, a fox!"
"I heard he brought her coffee and a croissant today."
"And she's pretty sure she'll keep–"
"Feet off the desk, fox!"
Nick managed to spill coffee on his shirt in his haste to get his feet on the floor. The panther just chuckled.
"Not funny, Nyte."
"I think it's hilarious. Hey, you heard Judy's working with me and Hairus today while you have your planning session with the mouse, right?"
"Doc Wheeler is a hamster."
"Whatever. Good chance she'll save a life today."
"How so?" asked Judy.
"Because I'll have another sane animal to work with. I swear, I'm not sure if that bear will retire first or I'll kill him. John patrol with him stinks."
Nick suggested, "Might just be a lack of personal hygiene."
"Yeah, that too. I want to take Judy down to get dressed for the assignment."
"Can I ask serious question first," Nick requested.
"A serious question? You? Me?"
"Hey, you hate my guts so you won't try and sugar coat your answer."
"I don't hate your guts. Neck up, I hate. Below the neck you're a regular officer."
"Below the neck he's mine," Judy reminded the panther.
"At least below the belt," chuckled Nyte.
"I... I... That..." the embarrassed rabbit stuttered. "Not what I meant."
"And, speaking of male anatomy–"
"I wasn't speaking of male anatomy!"
"Thanks again for encouraging George to ask me out."
"No need. I'm just glad you and Officer Bagheera get along so well."
"We get along great," purred Nyte. "Can't wait until he gets a schedule that works better with mine."
Nick mused, "Will any of us know what to do with a happy Detective Nyte? What will it mean to the bullpen?"
"Maybe I won't yell so loudly at idiots with their feet up on their desks."
"I'd like to hear how you yell at the idiots," Nick nodded solemnly. "I mean, you yell so loud at me I worry you may bust a vocal cord. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Must leave the idiots deaf. But I had a serious question, maybe two. What do you think of the proposal of having smalls on the force? Do you think it's going to happen?"
The panther sighed and looked thoughtful. "Honestly," she told him, "I've got mixed feelings. I can see ways in which it would be help. Forensics work in the field? I'd love to work with a small team. You really think the smalls would allow the police in Rodentia?"
"I asked what you thought of the idea, and if you thought it could happen."
"Okay, on theoretical level I'm in favor of it. Reality? I don't think it'll happen in our lifetimes. No way the smalls will accept... Okay, a lot of smalls would love it. But you'd have to sell the bosses and I don't see that happening. And then you would have to sell it to the politicians, and they're afraid of real change. Rumor around the First is you're working hard on this. Don't knock yourself out. It ain't going to happen."
"But on a theoretical level you think it's good?"
"Yeah. Like my opinion counts. On your feet, Judy, bring the coffee with you, you need to get you dressed for the sting."
Twenty minutes later Judy looked at her image in the mirror. "It's so... so..."
"Cheap and tacky?" The rabbit nodded. "You imagined something glamorous?"
"Well, not exactly glamorous, but better than–"
"Prostitution is nothing like television and the movies," the panther spat. "Those are male fantasies where the females enjoy it. These are poor, desperate females who don't want to be turning tricks. They're being exploited. I've got sympathy for the hookers. The johns and the pimps? No sympathy at all."
"Did you really put two pimps in the hospital?"
"Just one. Other was treated at a clinic and jailed. Both were resisting arrest. The one who ended up in the hospital was armed... Internal Affairs suggested I 'voluntarily' attend a couple anger management sessions." The panther laughed, "Psychologist running the sessions was a female. She told me afterward she thought I managed my anger just fine. Don't know if the rumor of putting two in the hospital was good or bad."
"What do you mean?"
"Last pimp I cornered? Dropped to the ground on his belly, crossed his arms behind his back and begged me not to hurt him. I think he pissed his pants. Hairus wouldn't even let me slap the cuffs on him – said I might get charged with brutality or something... He's a lazy bastard, but he's a good officer. Don't know why he didn't retire. He's past old enough."
"Maybe he wants keep another good officer out of trouble."
"Nah, we irritate the hell out of each other. Maybe the aggravation keeps his blood pressure up so he doesn't just fall asleep and never wake up."
As she rode out to Clover Avenue in with the two large detectives they reviewed the rabbit's assignment.
"Squad cars have been up and down Clover, so the real hookers have moved out of the neighborhood – for now. What is the one thing you don't do?"
"The one thing I don't do or the one I don't say?"
"Sorry. Give me both."
"I don't initiate any conversation on sex. Maybe it's someone from out-of-town just wants directions. And I never get in a vehicle with anyone."
"Right on both. We'll pick up any conversation on the wire and have a record for the courts. And the reason you give for not getting in a vehicle?"
"Squad cars sometimes pass by and might see us. They need to drive around the block and I'll meet them at the parking lot of the old brass foundry."
"Okay, Hairus and I are both close and will respond immediately if anyone gives you trouble. I'll respond immediately. He'll probably be playing solitaire on his cell phone and–"
"Not funny," the bear growled.
"Lylah?" Judy asked.
"Yes?"
"You ever done this, took the part of the hooker?"
"Yeah. Hated it. Might be nastiest thing I've had to do. Met some really disgusting scum."
"But she doesn't do it any more," Detective Hairus assured Judy. "And no panther hookers in Zootopia. Nyte here put so much fear into the johns none of them would ever ask a panther for sex."
"You're going there," threatened Nyte.
"Going where?" Judy asked.
"Why don't you get out of the car," the panther suggested. "I don't want any witnesses when I discuss the issue with cement head here."
The bear just laughed. "Fundamental difference of opinion. Nyte here is soft on hookers. Don't think she's ever arrested one. More likely to buy them a meal or refer them to a shelter for abused females. I say arrest the hookers and there won't be any more johns."
"The hookers are victims. They need help."
"Half of them need money for drugs. They can get clean in jail."
"And the half that aren't on drugs? And the majority are abused. You want to lock up abuse victims?"
"Well getting the johns off the street won't solve their problems."
"No, but letting them stay in abusive situations won't solve their problems either. Their problems need a better solution than– We're here."
They parked at the old brass factory. Four officers were already there, the squad cars and a black maria for transporting prisoners were parked on the other side of the large building. Nyte and Hairus took their positions, out of sight, and ten minutes Judy began loitering on a section of sidewalk.
It didn't take long before a nice car pulled over. "You're new here, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"What do you charge?"
"For what?"
Judy found the suggestion disgusting.
Twenty minutes later a battered pickup truck pulled to the curb. The jaguar had a suggestion which Judy suspected, given their relative difference in size, would have been anatomically impossible and offered a bonus that sounded impossible for anyone driving such a wreck.
Judy couldn't be certain how many of the propositions were linked to the fact she was a rabbit, but many clearly were.
A van of smalls pulled over, and three jerboas, a hamster, and a gerbil – students at Rodentia Tech – made the most degrading request of the morning.
At noon Judy joined the backup crew for a sandwich and mediocre cup of coffee.
"You're doing great!" Detective Gannon assured her. "The professor and banker were the best catches, in my opinion. You're doing better than Nyte did when she was the decoy."
"Not a competition," the panther growled.
"I really don't like this," Judy complained.
"Did I order wrong? I thought you said you wanted–"
"Not the sandwich. This decoy job. Is this really how other animals see rabbits – oversexed and willing to do... A couple of those... I don't know if I can do this."
Detective Nyte put an arm around the rabbit. "You can do it. You're tough. Damn it, you and the fox solved the Night Howler thing all by yourselves. You took out the three bears! You–"
"Those were all physical. This is different. This is like an attack on my worth. I'm being asked to do things because I'm a rabbit."
"It's not because you're a rabbit. Any female out there would hear the crap you're hearing. And some of them have to do it to eat."
"You hear those things when you were the decoy?"
"Sure."
"All of them?"
The panther hesitated. "Okay, you're hearing some stuff... Probably because you're a rabbit. Stereotypes... Well, you know."
Judy almost chuckled, "Easy when they're your own. When I met Nick I thought he... When animals look at you and don't see you, just a stereotype, it's hard. I don't know if I can last the rest of the shift."
Lylah patted her back. "Do your best. You're tough, it's just a different tough than you usually use.
Duke Weaselton stood at his table with bootleg DVDs when an opossum sidled up to him. "Anything for me?"
"Whatta ya want?"
"Match for the cig, and a job."
Duke flicked the flame to life on a lighter and the possum leaned in to light the smoke. "Willin' to woik fer smalls?"
"If it pays."
"It is CD."
"Her? I dunno? They say the Chels is dangerous."
"Dangerous to cross. Dis is simple stuff. She needs a short fer some deliveries. Ten creds finder's fee if youse takes it. Seventy-five if youse gets a steady from it."
"What am I delivering?"
"I did not ask, and youse should not either. Dis is important, youse ever work for Big?"
"No, why?"
"Miss D does not like Big, and should she believes youse is a spy for Big the both of us mights go the way of Horseshoe Charlie."
"Whatta I do to get the job?"
"Canvas Sachs on Fifth at four. Tells 'em Duke sent ya."
"Thanks."
"Anythin' interestin'?"
"Rabbit working Clover."
"A rabbit?"
"Yeah, but I got no dough, so–"
The weasel let out a string of curses.
"What's the matter?"
"Hook MacKenzie's territory. And he ain't got no rabbits in his stable."
"Maybe he added one. Even if he didn't, no skin off your nose."
"Or maybe some stupid bunny off the farm don't know she is trespiring. An' if she or an equivocally stupid pimp winds up dead. Da police is all over da area, and dey is not conductive to my business interests. Watch my table, if youse sells somethin' I takes the commission off what youse owes me fer implodment."
"What are you gonna do?"
"Tell da bunny to get her cotton tail off Clover."
"Suggest she go to Acorn and Seventh. I might have a little dough after deliveries."
Duke realized something was odd as he approached Clover. There were usually two or three females out in what was euphemistically known as the 'entertainment district'. He saw a single female, a rabbit. And she looked like... Duke rubbed his eyes and squinted hard. Perhaps it was the distance. Perhaps it was the fact he didn't actually know many rabbits, which made him imagine this one resembled the one he knew best. Or maybe... Duke grinned. This was his chance to ruin her day.
The look of depression and desperation on Judy's face was real, not acting. She just wanted the assignment to be over so she could curl up under a rock and die. Was this really how all other animals saw rabbits? Was she as guilty herself, did she look at other species and only see stereotypes and not individuals? And the way she had thrown herself at Nick? No wonder he hadn't thought she was serious. This had to be the most miserable day of her life.
And as she thought her day could not possibly get any worse she saw Duke Weaselton striding confidently in her direction, a broad grin on his ugly face.
"Just go away," she suggested softly. No point in shouting the fact this was a sting.
"No, youse unfortunate creature. I is here to share da news of hope! Dog loves youse an' has a waterfall plan for yer wife!"
Judy hissed, "Go away."
"No. Hall-ah-Luigi, I is gonna share da woid of life wit' youse. Youse turns to Dog an' everythin' gets hunky or dory for youse real fast. It is because da big guy loves da refuse of da earth – it is why he made so many of–"
"Go away!" Judy told him louder.
"No. It is my dooty to help youse up, to lifts youse from da stain and degradable contortion into which youse is fallen and restores youse to–"
"Knock it off, weasel," Lylah Nyte advised, emerging from concealment. "I'm running you in for interfering with the police."
"Interfering? I offers spiritual subsistence to a fallen female and I am to be charged wit' a crime? Woik wit' me here, Defective Nyte, and we can saves dis–"
"You little–," she snarled. "You know this is Detective Hopps."
The weasel appeared to look closer at the rabbit, and with a shocked voice agreed, "Youse is right! How da mighty is fallen! From city hero to walkin' the streets. I still stands by the promiscuous of redumption which is fer all who believes. Hall-ah-Luigi!"
"And if blasphemy were a crime I'd also be charging you with–"
"You're not charging him with nothing," Hairus told her as he ambled over.
"He was interfering with police business!"
"I heard him too. What you know is going on in his head doesn't count in court. He didn't offer nothing for nothing – not a damn thing we can charge him with." Hairus looked at the weasel, "You're asking us to believe you got religion all of a sudden?"
"Amen. I is a deacon in da Foist Church of Dem that Helps Demselves."
"Where does this congregation meet?"
"A pool hall, an' we is growing."
"Can we arrest him for impersonating a deacon," Nyte asked hopefully.
"There is nothing we can do. Nothing to him anyway. Hey, he's like you – wanting to help a hooker."
"You shut your mouth," she snarled.
"And Duke will spread the word like a case of the measles. We may as well call the backup and tell them we're done for the day."
"So Officer Hopps is not fallen into a life of sin?" Duke grinned. "Hall-ah-Luigi!"
Nyte took a step toward the weasel, and the weasel took three fast steps back. Hairus held up an arm to block his partner. "We need to go," the bear told Nyte. "And Hopps is looking sick."
The panther looked down at the rabbit, "C'mon Judy. It was a rough day, but it's over now."
The weasel gloated as the three retreated. The bear probably didn't mind the job being over early – unless they stuck him with some new assignment when they got back to the First. The females were dedicated, and he felt certain they resented quitting early. He was only half right. Judy Hopps experienced the odd sensation of feeling grateful to Duke.
"Was dis a coincidental?" Duke wondered. "Da sting bein' here on Clover... I doubts it... Nyte wanted Hook MacKenzie to puts in his nose. She wants his hide."
The weasel analyzed the situation in terms of his own best interest. It was clear, to him, that Detective Nyte had her sights set on bringing in the wolverine. That information should, in theory, make 'Hook' MacKenzie willing to slip Duke a nice wad of gratitude for the warning. On the other hand, rumor was that Hook was more likely to beat information out of someone than offer financial reward. In addition Hook was a thoroughly nasty piece of work. Duke suspected the police didn't realize just how nasty the wolverine was, or they'd be making more effort to bring him in. Not that Duke planned to inform the police of anything, no profit in it. And if Hook wasn't sentenced to life, or if he escaped, he would come looking for the informant.
Or the wolverine would come looking if he could. The hook that took the place of his left paw counted as a weapon, and he would resist arrest. Maybe Nyte wouldn't leave enough that anyone would have to worry about MacKenzie.