Warnings: Teenage boys being assholes about a sensitive situation. Teenage boys being more sex-focussed than strictly necessary. Mentions of childhood sexual assault (same amount of detail as canon). Chapters 1 and 2: allusions to sex but nothing too explicit. Chapter 3: an explicit makeout scene (clothes on), underage sexual contact, underage drinking, dubious consent, short flashback to violent assault, shameful feelings.

"She walked in on me in the shower and she... touched me a bit.." Ryder says softly, not making direct eye contact. The candles flash shadows across his face at long angles.

Oh man that totally sucks. Sam has had too many experiences with dudes randomly walking in on him in the shower, but it's cool because they're probably just jealous of his rockin' bod. Or admiring it like Kurt, which, was rather flattering. No dude ever lingered or stepped into the shower with him, that'd be weird. Then again, he had totally gotten off last night to a porno where a bunch of chicks invaded the men's locker room, so if it was a girl... Which, hold up, what did Ryder say?

"..wait hold on did you just say she?" Sam says incredulously. "Like as in a girl, a teenage girl?

Fact: teenage boys wanted girls to touch their junk. Fact: most of high school's popularity games were directly correlated to trying to attract girls. Fact: girls were complicated as hell, so if you can skip past all the confusing parts, because they approach you about wanting sex? Then, hell yeah you take that offer and be grateful! Sam was lucky that he understood how Brittany worked (well... better than anyone else at McKinley anyway). Soulmates were awesome like that.

Before Brittany, however, Sam had had plenty of experiences with waiting for girls- to make up their minds, to choose him, to want him. A girl approaching him in the shower willing to take the mystery of sex away would have helped him skip the heartache of chasing girls that didn't really want to be with him.

Dating Quinn had meant cold showers and thinking of Coach Beiste in a tutu. To her sex meant accidental babies and losing your first love and becoming the school joke. It meant betraying both Jesus and her sense of self.

It was totally chill, he was a gentleman, and he didn't mind waiting for her. He knew that sex between them would be safe and respectful and intimate, if she would only give him a chance. He was also sharply aware that she had been hesitant to date him in the beginning, and as their relationship progressed Quinn was in a constant state of detaching herself from him both physically and emotionally. Quinn didn't want sex, but she was incredible and brave, and he was busy enough trying to engage with her distant but amazing green eyes anyway. He had waited for her to trust him, and he had waited for her to kiss him, and he could wait forever for her to feel ready for sex. It was Quinn, and he was lucky to be with her.

Except she had never really wanted to be with him at all, she had wanted Finn.

(Santana had been just using him; that brief fling was only worth mentioning so far as it showed how he was always second-rate to the girls he dated.)

Wooing Mercedes had gone much the same way in regards to sex. Sam had admired how she knew exactly what she wanted, and he loved when he could be the one to give it to her. She wanted a hot date to prom; she wanted a boy to tell her she was beautiful; she wanted a slow dance full of romance; she wanted a fun, secret summer fling. Sam took pride in being the one to fulfill her desires, especially with how she seemed delightfully surprised every time at his willingness to acquiesce.

Mercedes had strong opinions about what she did and didn't want-and she didn't want sex- but she also had a strong moral center, and she didn't play games. Sam wanted to be what she wanted, and he was willing to wait to fulfill any future desires of hers for when she was ready.

It mattered most what Mercedes wanted, because what Sam wanted was to wait for her to want him.

But then his dad got a job in Kentucky over the summer, and they moved, which killed that romance. (Sure, later on in the following school year he would try to get her back, but by the time she left Shane, her true desire was stardom not Sam.)

Anyway, after the move Sam picked up shifts at Dairy Queen, but he knew he wouldn't have the money to travel to Ohio for a long time. Which was cool, his first priority was doing whatever it took to help his family- they were in this together and he wanted to pull his weight. The real problem was that the long hours after school barely pulled in enough money to help with rent let alone make a dent in his parents' credit card bills.

A solution- both to his family's finances and his romantic failures- appeared when one night he was walking the two miles back home from Dairy Queen, dancing and singing along to Justin Timberlake on Finn's old CD player to keep himself awake. Sure, he was never the best at keeping up with New Directions choreography, but never let it be said that Sam Evans couldn't rock a beat.

"I'm bringin' sexy back! Them other boys don't know how to act..." Sam bopped his head to the beat and spun around. He landed unevenly with one foot on the street and the other on the sidewalk, stumbling a bit and just barely regaining his balance.

"Hey there hot shot!" Sam heard a female voice call. Intrigued, Sam stopped and squinted before he realized there was the silhouette of a woman in the back of shadowed alley of the strip club he had been walking past. He stopped abruptly, wondering how much she had seen of his dance skills.

The figure came closer, until he could mostly make out her face. She smiled and blew smoke of to the side coyly. "With moves like that and your sweet virgin face, you could make a killin' on Soccer Mom Saturdays, ya know."

"What like stripping? For money? Like how much, more than 7 dollars an hour?"

"Eager one, aren't ya?" Smirking, she stepped out of the shadows for the first time to reach out and squeeze his bicep playfully. Sam drew a quick breath and pinked slightly after realizing that she wasn't wearing much more than glitter and sparkles and layers of makeup.

She laughed good-naturedly. "Oh honey, you are a virgin, aren't you? You're such a cutie, you musta broken a few hearts."

Sam shrugged. "Yeah, I don't know girls are hard to figure out. They want what they want, but apparently not me."

She raised her eyebrow and pulled another drag on her cigarette. "Tsk, tsk, a cute face and a body like that can only get you so far ya know."

"Yeah, totally! I'm like a stud at romancing. I mean, I can't pay for dates anymore, but it's about it coming from the heart and all that right? A million romantic comedies can't be wrong."

"Oh sugar, I'm not talkin' about love here, I'm talkin' about sex." She paused with a thoughtful look in her eye. "Well, sex appeal. You still interested in makin' money here, blondie?"

Sam nodded enthusiastically. "If it's more than I can make at Dairy Queen, then hell yeah. I'm a performer, I know how to put on a show."

"Oh do you now? To make the big bucks you'll need to know how to please a woman, how to move and roll so she's panting and begging for more." She stepped further into his space as she said this, stroking his bicep and purring into his ear, "you gotta know how to make a women want you."

He knew the way girls flirted, and he had been flirted with like this before.

"What and you know how to?" He said quietly, doing his best to sound gentle and unassuming.

She looked surprised at his insinuation, stepped back, and smiled shyly as she stubbed out her cigarette on her stiletto, bending so that her cleavage in the bikini top left little to the imagination.

"Tell you what, honey, you're sweet, and I could use a guy friend around here who gets it. I can introduce you to the manager right now and to a friend who loves a good set of abs. She can teach you what you need to know before your shift on Saturday, if ya know what I mean. Don't worry, she's almost as pretty as I am."

She gestured towards her bare bedazzled body, winked at Sam's dumbfounded face, then continued in a quieter, more sincere tone: "In return, just... be my friend. Lord knows I could use a nice polite man around to bring to dinner at my parents' next week... and tell me what you know about romancin' women."

Sam nodded carefully and took her hand as she led him into the club. It was the beginning of steamy nights, a beautiful friendship, and an awesome cash flow.

Fact: It had not a romance. Fact: His "relationship" with her abs-appreciating friend had also not been a romance. Fact: Sam had never felt so desirable.

He loved it.

All those older ladies tucking bills in his red shorts and swooning at his muscled torso were an adrenaline rush better than performing and romance combined. The sex behind the scenes was incidental... but not unappreciated. Sure, once Finn and Rachel recruited him back, and he saw Mercedes again for the first time, life at the strip club had seemed a bit empty... but it had been a dream come true at the time.

It wasn't the most romantic circumstance, but when an older hot chick offers you sex, you go with it and don't second guess your good luck.

"Dude you're like 11 and a hot 18 year old plays with your junk I would have killed for that!" Sam says, incredulously. That could have been Ryder's very own strip club experience! He wouldn't have had to enter high school with no game and no idea what got girls all heated up. He could have been a stud like Sam was now from the very beginning!

Ryder stared at him, hurt and unbelieving.