Author's note: This is my first shot at an Invader Zim fan fic. It involves
my fan Irken chars as well as eventually Zim and Dib on Earth.
It contains strong language…scary ne? Oh, and when I write "fag" it means cigarette. Fag is a slang word for cigarette over here in England, just so no one think I'm talking about a gay person when I mention fags in the story. ^_^ Anywho, enjoy and if you wanna see pics of my chars, go to my gallery at http://www.side7.com/art/lararyan/gallery.html Ok, I'm done you can carry on!
~The Fist Conquers All~
~Part 1~
"Stupid! You'll never be as tall as us!"
The voice echoed down the halls and chambers of the Massive. Several Irkens in the bar looked up from their drinking.
"You quivering heap of perpetual scum! Three inches! Three inches not as tall as us! Three inches not as good as us! You are an example of one who tried! Ha!"
Zxor dodged deftly as a can of soda flew at him, thrown by the Almighty Red. He cursed as it missed its desired target and crashed into the wall behind. Almighty Purple threw a sandwich at Zxor. His aim was better and it hit the poor almost as tall Irken in the eye.
"Look at you! You're a wimp!"
"Call yourself an Irken?" glowered the Almighty Tallests as they glared down upon the hapless Zxor. Zxor sobbed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
All his life he'd been berated, teased, tormented in front of legions of Invaders and almost Tallers as an example of what happened to soft hearted failures. Zxor was shy and quiet, bashful if a girl Irken even so much as winked at him. His armour was shades of blue and he had deep blue eyes too. He was a Taller but not a Tallest. Taller than a Controller, taller than an Invader but of as tall as the Tallest. Of which there were currently two of the same height, one with red and black armour and one with purple armour and so they both ruled over the underlings. Each day the tallest called Zxor to stand in front of them so they could ridicule him. Today had been good. Today they hadn't taken him out to an academy gathering to have training Invaders use him for target practise.
"Get out now!" roared Purple. Zxor hurriedly left the room.
"Do you even know why we keep him on our ship?" he asked Red.
"Because Purple, we can amuse ourselves with him" replied Red with a grin.
Zxor walked slowly down the corridor from the main chamber of the Almighty Tallests' ship. He sighed miserably and ducked a can thrown at him by a mocking Controller. Even Controllers had more respect than he did and he was taller than they were!
Suddenly, a hand tapped him on the back, making him jump. Spinning round, he saw Xiz standing there, grinning. She waved.
"Hi there Zxor!"
Zxor smiled. Xiz was the only Irken who talked to Zxor, which was odd seeing as she was the daughter of Purple. Her uniform was purple instead of red. Zxor didn't know why she talked to him, but he never asked why. In truth, Xiz had a deep respect for him because of all the crap he put up with.
"Has dad been throwing food again?" she asked, noting the sauce smear on his face. Zxor sighed and nodded. Xiz walked alongside him. The Taller of the Tallers wore hover belts like the Tallest, but today Zxor walked along miserably, his antennae drooping.
"I think you should stand up for yourself. You let them beat you around. My dad's a really nice guy once you get to know him," said Xiz.
"If I dare utter a word when I'm not told to, they punish me. So I keep quiet."
"Why don't you run away then? Leave the Massive and go back to Irk."
"I can't. If I leave, they'll only find me again or get some Tallers to bring me back. Then they'd set me as an example of the fact that no one escapes them and I'll suffer the consequences that will happen if anyone tries." Zxor sighed. "It's useless."
Xiz looked down at her feet. Zxor tried to change the subject. "Well, at least you're free of Zim now ever since they sent him off on a mission."
Xiz shuddered as she remembered the little squirt of an Invader who was hopelessly in love with her. Her! The daughter of the Almighty Tallest Purple and Zim the shortest Irken since Invader Skooge.
"Don't even talk about him. I'm just glad he's more enthusiastic about his work than about me"
Zxor laughed. "You could say that" he said, remembering the time that Zim had been in control of a destroyer robot and nearly destroyed a whole city in his enthusiasm to prove he really had what it took to be an Invader.
"Besides" said Xiz, "I'm in love with Kligg!" She sighed as she thought of the four foot tall Irken Invader with the scar across his face who had conquered not one but two planets. Zxor shuddered a little. Brave yes, but with a face like Kligg's, you'd have to be blind to be in love with him. His scar and infected eye were no pretty sight and as for his language, 70% of it was made up of swear words. Even when he was happy and giving you a compliment, he'd say something like "you know, you're kinda cute, bitch!" and that wasn't his only bad habit, oh no. He also smoked too. Not very often, about 10 a day, but it still made him smell a bit because the mixture was strong.
Xiz had fallen quiet. No doubt she was dreaming about Kligg. Zxor also stopped talking lost in his own thoughts. What if he did run away? Would he get anywhere or would they find him? He was so deep in thought that he didn't realise they'd reached his quarters. Zxor slipped his keycard into the slot and the door opened. His quarters were small and cramped. The Tallest had given him a broom cupboard to live in. Even though it was small, Zxor kept it surprisingly neat and tidy. He had few possessions and so the only things in his quarters were a bed, a closet and a vendor from which food materialised.
"Would you like to come in?" he asked Xiz. She shook her head no.
"I've got an academy assignment to do" she replied. Xiz wanted to be an Invader just like Kligg. She wanted him to teach her some stuff. He'd recently got back from conquering Shogral, home the Very Scary Cannibalistic Sock People and that was where his eye had been busted. Even though Xiz adored him, she'd never actually talked to him, just sat in academy gatherings listening in awe to his tales of conquering. The loss of his good looks had in no way affected her feelings for him, although some others of his admirers had clearly gone off him she'd noticed, due to hearing their hushed conversations about him. Kligg didn't give a rat's ass what girls thought of him; he was way more tied up in galactic conquest matters. Besides, from what his SIR, WIR had said, his chat up lines were pretty bad anyway. Xiz often saw WIR in the corridors walking around, since Kligg was allowed on the Massive at any time due to his record of conquest. WIR looked like a normal SIR, but it's eyes cams and other parts that should have been red were purple and it had a "W" on it's fore head. She'd told WIR about her crush on Kligg and it'd found it most amusing much to her confusion. She was careful never to touch WIR; however, as due to the modifications Kligg had made to it, its electricity level was very high and the results could be "shocking"!
"Ok, good luck with it" said Zxor and shut the door with a sigh. "Even Xiz thinks I'm boring" he sighed. He got a lemon Brainfreezy from the vendor and sat on his bed. I wish I had a SIR he thought miserably. Even a little robot slave that doubled as a thermos would be better than having no one to talk to.
Xiz meanwhile was in her own quarters doing her assignment. Purple came in.
"How's the assignment going?" he asked. Xiz hurriedly hid a photo of Kligg and smiled up at her father.
"I've nearly finished it" she replied.
"Good, 'cus I want you to get top marks for it" said Purple. "You are going to be the best Invader we've got 'cus you're my offspring! It's in the genetics! Maybe one day we'll even destroy Red and I'll be the leader of the Irken Empire!"
Xiz giggled as her father went off into a mighty rant about being their ruler.
"Uh…dad, why do you and Red taunt that Zxor so much?" she asked suddenly.
"Huh? Zxor? Because he's a disgraceful, pathetic wimp of an Irken, who needs to be taunted to know his place. Now finish your assignment" he replied quickly and left the room. Xiz could see he didn't want to talk about Zxor. She wondered why. Maybe he and Red were afraid of Zxor overthrowing them and ruling instead and that was why they kept ties on his confidence. Xiz got the photo of Kligg out again. It had been taken by her at the last Academy gathering, so he had the damaged eye. She didn't care though. He was the bravest Invader she'd ever known.
She sighed happily and carried on writing.
"Zxor, you are required at the great meeting!" came the voice on the caller. Zxor sighed. Great taunting was more like it he thought. He slipped his hoverbelt on and opened the door. He heard a Controller yell "loser!" to him. Zxor held back a sniff and blinked to stop a tear from forming in his eyes. This was what the Tallest had reduced him to by mocking him so much. He'd lost what little confidence he'd had.
The Tallest stepped onto the platform they used to stand on to make their almighty entry into the gathering. As it lowered them to the floor, they looked down on all the little green heads. The Irkens below looked like little green peas. These were the soldiers in training and every week, the Tallest gave them a speech and some tips on how to be good Invaders. They were more advanced in learning level than Xiz's group. They wiggled their antennae in salute as the platform with Red and Purple on landed. The Tallest smiled.
"Greetings Irken trainees!" yelled Purple.
"Today we will be talking about attitude!" Red changed the tone of his voice on the last word and wiggled his fingers. The Irkens all watched, their big red eyes unblinking.
Purple went on; "When you go out in space to the planet we assign you to, you can't just go out in the wrong state of mind. You must be confident. You must be determined. Basically, you must be completely the opposite to this poor mooch."
That was Zxor's cue. He stepped out on the stage, head down in shame and disgrace. He wasn't allowed to make eye contact or lift his head unless the Tallest told him to.
"This is an example of a failure!" Red yelled the last word and his eyes flamed. "For example," he continued, "say you've come up against one of the hideous natives…" Purple looked evil and pretended to be a "hideous native".
Red continued, "don't just stand there, if they attack you, fight back!" Purple kicked Zxor around, ramming into him and knocking him down. Zxor knew they would punish him if he got up so he stayed where he was.
"Don't lie there like a wimp. If they get you, get up and FIGHT!" said Purple. Zxor got up.
Red grabbed him. "And always remember, weapons!" he said, pointing out Zxor had none. Zxor sniffed.
"See this pathetic wimp?" said Purple, shaking Zxor, "this pathetic wimp has no confidence. He's a failure. And do you know why?"
"Because he never bothered!!" yelled Red, "that's why!"
No, because you forced me, tortured me and made me a wimp, that's why thought Zxor.
Red shook his head. "So you see, if you're like him you'll fail and be kicked out of the Irken Military. In fact, you'll be licked anyway."
Purple punched Zxor hard in the face, making him scream out in pain and fall over. Then he kicked him in the side. Zxor curled up in pain, shivering.
"Behold!" said Purple, "he shakes like a strawberry jelly!"
This went on for an Earth hour or more until finally Red said, "don't end up like this pitiful freak. Keep training, use determination and go forth and CONQUER!! Have a nice day." The Tallest stepped onto the platform and went off the way they'd come. Zxor was in the transport pod waiting for them. He had a swollen eye but it wasn't as bad as some previous times he'd been. The Tallest didn't congratulate him on a job well done but simple ignored him and chatted to each other as if he wasn't there. Zxor sighed. Still at least they weren't taunting him. The transporter took them back to the Massive and the Tallest got out. They walked off leaving Zxor to go back to his quarters alone.
As he walked down the corridor, he wasn't looking where he was going and bumped into another Irken. Kligg. Kligg snarled at him.
"Watch where you're going you stupid shit head!" he yelled. Zxor stepped aside to let Kligg pass. Kligg looked at him.
"Hey, you're that stupid fucker the Tallest are always messing with."
Zxor nodded.
"Man, you're a stupid bastard!" laughed Kligg and walked off. Zxor sighed and went back to his quarters.
Kligg took one last glance at him as he walked round the corner and collided with someone else.
"For fuck's sake would you stupid buggers watch where you're friggin' well walking??!!" he spat at the other Irken. Xiz looked to see who she'd bumped into and gasped. It was him! It was the great Kligg! She picked up the books she'd dropped and blushed. Kligg raised an eyebrow at her. Xiz smiled, not knowing what to say. She remembered once though something WIR had told her. Kligg loved flattery.
"I'm sorry, Conqueror Kligg, Sir, I wasn't looking where I was going" she said.
Kligg grinning, showing off his off white teeth. "Very well," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand, "you may pass."
Xiz walked slowly past him, making sure he was watching her. Then she wiggled her antennae at him and smiled before she turned round the corridor, turning bright red and ran off.
"Heh" muttered Kligg and lit a fag before continuing on his way.
Xiz ran back to her quarters and through the door then into her room, then into her room, shaking with excitement. Wow! She'd actually met Kligg close up! She'd spoken to him! He'd spoken to her! She'd even given him the respectful antennae wiggle. She fell onto her bed in a daydream.
Later on, Purple came in. Xiz was lying on her back with her eyes closed.
"Honey? Are you asleep?" he said quietly. His voice broke into her thoughts of Kligg and she sat bolt upright.
"Yes, yes I'm fine!" she said, not really knowing what her father had said to her. Purple sighed.
"I came to tell you one of the Invaders is coming round because I need to talk with him about his new assignment. Red's going to a party, which leaves me with him alone. So could you help me get the place tidy?"
"Yeah, sure I'll help you dad" said Xiz getting up. Even though both Red and Purple ruled, they didn't share the same quarters. The Massive was kinda split into two. One half was purple and the other red. Red's quarters were the other side. Red and Purple shared the Massive with a few Controllers and of course, Xiz and Zxor.
Xiz and Purple started putting things away and turbo-vacuuming the place up. Xiz straightened the pictures on the walls and Purple's candy bar wrapper collection, while Purple started finding some food from the item vendor. At last everything was ready for the guest. Xiz went into her room to get something when the door bleeper went off. She heard Purple inviting the visitor in.
"You've left your SIR behind? You should have bought it with you so you could've had it damaged checked. It would have been free too" said Purple.
"Hey Xiz, come in here and meet our guest," he called to Xiz who was still in her room. She dropped the photo of Kligg, picked it up and hid it in her fold out closet. Then she ran into the main room and suddenly stopped in her tracks. Purple never said their guest would be…Kligg! She stood in the doorway gawking at him.
"Don't stand there, come and sit down." Purple told her. Since there was only a chair and a couch in the main room and Purple was in the chair, Xiz had to sit on the couch next to Kligg. She blushed, sitting down. Her antennae felt weak just looking at him.
"Kligg, this is my daughter, Xiz" said Purple.
"We've met" said Kligg grinning at Xiz. Her antennae collapsed as she goofily grinned back.
"Hi again" she replied. Kligg held out a hand. Xiz looked at it, took it in her own shaking hand and smiled at Kligg. Kligg shook her hand slowly.
"When did you meet?" asked Purple.
"We bumped into each other in the corridor" said Kligg. Xiz nodded, then looked down. She still had hold of Kligg's hand. She hurriedly dropped it and coughed a bit. Kligg glanced at her before turning to Purple.
"So, what did you call me here for?" he asked.
"About your new assignment I need to assign you to an enemy planet. Red assigned you last time, so now it's my turn! Oh, would you like some curly fries by the way?" Purple offered Kligg and bowl of curly fries. Kligg took a few and passed one to Xiz. Xiz took it and went even redder.
"Thanks" she mumbled. Kligg ignored her.
"Yeah, well make it a hard one this time, Shogral was way to easy" he said.
"Easy??" yelled Purple, "you nearly died."
"I didn't die though, did I? Thus it was too easy and the next one should be harder. When you send me to a planet I actually die on, then it'll be too hard, ok?" Kligg went into a small fit of coughing after this and lit a fag. Xiz still sat holding the curly fry Kligg had given her. Purple didn't really like Kligg's cockiness, but he was a good and willing soldier, so he thought of a planet. Blorch had been conquered as well as Vort and of course Shogral and Gron. There was Meerkroz, home of the giant slippers and Ventrock, the planet of edible paving slabs, but they were too easy. Purple's mind drifted to Earth, where Zim had gone. Maybe he could send Kligg and some others to destroy it and bring Zim back so he and Red could send him to the planet of never ending commercials and destroy him once and for all. From what Zim had told them, Earth was useless anyway with its odd H2O and filthy inhabitants. Kligg could take a group of Invaders and teach them stuff. It would be good training.
Finally, Purple said, "Kligg, you are assigned to the destroying of that weird Earth planet, the one made almost completely of Dihygrogen Oxide. You are to take some trainee soldiers with you and teach them stuff. If you complete this task successfully and also bring back that retard, Zim, then we'll make you Conqueror of the Year and hold an all you can eat buffet in your honour."
Kligg, who had by now finished his fag nodded and said "I will not disappoint you! Which soldiers should I take?"
"Some that need help! Low ability ones preferably." Purple turned to Xiz. "And I think that it would be a good experience if you went along too. I trust Kligg here to look after you. Do you want to go with them too?"
Xiz couldn't believe she was hearing this. "I'd love to dad!" she yelled, not realising she sounded a little too over enthusiastic. She blushed again. "I mean, yes, the experience would be good training for me."
Kligg nodded and got up. Purple took him to the door.
"See ya then and come before red and I before you leave at the great meeting, ok? We'll tell you who's going with you."
"See ya" replied Kligg. "By
" he said to Xiz. She smiled and waved to him, still holding the curly fry. The door closed behind him.
"Well, that went well" said Purple.
"Yes, very well" grinned Xiz. She was off to planet Earth with her idol, Kligg, what could be better? This was gunna rock!
There, the first part of my Zimmy fan fic!! Part 2 is coming soon. You'll meet more chars, and yes, Xiz still has the curly fry!
It contains strong language…scary ne? Oh, and when I write "fag" it means cigarette. Fag is a slang word for cigarette over here in England, just so no one think I'm talking about a gay person when I mention fags in the story. ^_^ Anywho, enjoy and if you wanna see pics of my chars, go to my gallery at http://www.side7.com/art/lararyan/gallery.html Ok, I'm done you can carry on!
~The Fist Conquers All~
~Part 1~
"Stupid! You'll never be as tall as us!"
The voice echoed down the halls and chambers of the Massive. Several Irkens in the bar looked up from their drinking.
"You quivering heap of perpetual scum! Three inches! Three inches not as tall as us! Three inches not as good as us! You are an example of one who tried! Ha!"
Zxor dodged deftly as a can of soda flew at him, thrown by the Almighty Red. He cursed as it missed its desired target and crashed into the wall behind. Almighty Purple threw a sandwich at Zxor. His aim was better and it hit the poor almost as tall Irken in the eye.
"Look at you! You're a wimp!"
"Call yourself an Irken?" glowered the Almighty Tallests as they glared down upon the hapless Zxor. Zxor sobbed, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
All his life he'd been berated, teased, tormented in front of legions of Invaders and almost Tallers as an example of what happened to soft hearted failures. Zxor was shy and quiet, bashful if a girl Irken even so much as winked at him. His armour was shades of blue and he had deep blue eyes too. He was a Taller but not a Tallest. Taller than a Controller, taller than an Invader but of as tall as the Tallest. Of which there were currently two of the same height, one with red and black armour and one with purple armour and so they both ruled over the underlings. Each day the tallest called Zxor to stand in front of them so they could ridicule him. Today had been good. Today they hadn't taken him out to an academy gathering to have training Invaders use him for target practise.
"Get out now!" roared Purple. Zxor hurriedly left the room.
"Do you even know why we keep him on our ship?" he asked Red.
"Because Purple, we can amuse ourselves with him" replied Red with a grin.
Zxor walked slowly down the corridor from the main chamber of the Almighty Tallests' ship. He sighed miserably and ducked a can thrown at him by a mocking Controller. Even Controllers had more respect than he did and he was taller than they were!
Suddenly, a hand tapped him on the back, making him jump. Spinning round, he saw Xiz standing there, grinning. She waved.
"Hi there Zxor!"
Zxor smiled. Xiz was the only Irken who talked to Zxor, which was odd seeing as she was the daughter of Purple. Her uniform was purple instead of red. Zxor didn't know why she talked to him, but he never asked why. In truth, Xiz had a deep respect for him because of all the crap he put up with.
"Has dad been throwing food again?" she asked, noting the sauce smear on his face. Zxor sighed and nodded. Xiz walked alongside him. The Taller of the Tallers wore hover belts like the Tallest, but today Zxor walked along miserably, his antennae drooping.
"I think you should stand up for yourself. You let them beat you around. My dad's a really nice guy once you get to know him," said Xiz.
"If I dare utter a word when I'm not told to, they punish me. So I keep quiet."
"Why don't you run away then? Leave the Massive and go back to Irk."
"I can't. If I leave, they'll only find me again or get some Tallers to bring me back. Then they'd set me as an example of the fact that no one escapes them and I'll suffer the consequences that will happen if anyone tries." Zxor sighed. "It's useless."
Xiz looked down at her feet. Zxor tried to change the subject. "Well, at least you're free of Zim now ever since they sent him off on a mission."
Xiz shuddered as she remembered the little squirt of an Invader who was hopelessly in love with her. Her! The daughter of the Almighty Tallest Purple and Zim the shortest Irken since Invader Skooge.
"Don't even talk about him. I'm just glad he's more enthusiastic about his work than about me"
Zxor laughed. "You could say that" he said, remembering the time that Zim had been in control of a destroyer robot and nearly destroyed a whole city in his enthusiasm to prove he really had what it took to be an Invader.
"Besides" said Xiz, "I'm in love with Kligg!" She sighed as she thought of the four foot tall Irken Invader with the scar across his face who had conquered not one but two planets. Zxor shuddered a little. Brave yes, but with a face like Kligg's, you'd have to be blind to be in love with him. His scar and infected eye were no pretty sight and as for his language, 70% of it was made up of swear words. Even when he was happy and giving you a compliment, he'd say something like "you know, you're kinda cute, bitch!" and that wasn't his only bad habit, oh no. He also smoked too. Not very often, about 10 a day, but it still made him smell a bit because the mixture was strong.
Xiz had fallen quiet. No doubt she was dreaming about Kligg. Zxor also stopped talking lost in his own thoughts. What if he did run away? Would he get anywhere or would they find him? He was so deep in thought that he didn't realise they'd reached his quarters. Zxor slipped his keycard into the slot and the door opened. His quarters were small and cramped. The Tallest had given him a broom cupboard to live in. Even though it was small, Zxor kept it surprisingly neat and tidy. He had few possessions and so the only things in his quarters were a bed, a closet and a vendor from which food materialised.
"Would you like to come in?" he asked Xiz. She shook her head no.
"I've got an academy assignment to do" she replied. Xiz wanted to be an Invader just like Kligg. She wanted him to teach her some stuff. He'd recently got back from conquering Shogral, home the Very Scary Cannibalistic Sock People and that was where his eye had been busted. Even though Xiz adored him, she'd never actually talked to him, just sat in academy gatherings listening in awe to his tales of conquering. The loss of his good looks had in no way affected her feelings for him, although some others of his admirers had clearly gone off him she'd noticed, due to hearing their hushed conversations about him. Kligg didn't give a rat's ass what girls thought of him; he was way more tied up in galactic conquest matters. Besides, from what his SIR, WIR had said, his chat up lines were pretty bad anyway. Xiz often saw WIR in the corridors walking around, since Kligg was allowed on the Massive at any time due to his record of conquest. WIR looked like a normal SIR, but it's eyes cams and other parts that should have been red were purple and it had a "W" on it's fore head. She'd told WIR about her crush on Kligg and it'd found it most amusing much to her confusion. She was careful never to touch WIR; however, as due to the modifications Kligg had made to it, its electricity level was very high and the results could be "shocking"!
"Ok, good luck with it" said Zxor and shut the door with a sigh. "Even Xiz thinks I'm boring" he sighed. He got a lemon Brainfreezy from the vendor and sat on his bed. I wish I had a SIR he thought miserably. Even a little robot slave that doubled as a thermos would be better than having no one to talk to.
Xiz meanwhile was in her own quarters doing her assignment. Purple came in.
"How's the assignment going?" he asked. Xiz hurriedly hid a photo of Kligg and smiled up at her father.
"I've nearly finished it" she replied.
"Good, 'cus I want you to get top marks for it" said Purple. "You are going to be the best Invader we've got 'cus you're my offspring! It's in the genetics! Maybe one day we'll even destroy Red and I'll be the leader of the Irken Empire!"
Xiz giggled as her father went off into a mighty rant about being their ruler.
"Uh…dad, why do you and Red taunt that Zxor so much?" she asked suddenly.
"Huh? Zxor? Because he's a disgraceful, pathetic wimp of an Irken, who needs to be taunted to know his place. Now finish your assignment" he replied quickly and left the room. Xiz could see he didn't want to talk about Zxor. She wondered why. Maybe he and Red were afraid of Zxor overthrowing them and ruling instead and that was why they kept ties on his confidence. Xiz got the photo of Kligg out again. It had been taken by her at the last Academy gathering, so he had the damaged eye. She didn't care though. He was the bravest Invader she'd ever known.
She sighed happily and carried on writing.
"Zxor, you are required at the great meeting!" came the voice on the caller. Zxor sighed. Great taunting was more like it he thought. He slipped his hoverbelt on and opened the door. He heard a Controller yell "loser!" to him. Zxor held back a sniff and blinked to stop a tear from forming in his eyes. This was what the Tallest had reduced him to by mocking him so much. He'd lost what little confidence he'd had.
The Tallest stepped onto the platform they used to stand on to make their almighty entry into the gathering. As it lowered them to the floor, they looked down on all the little green heads. The Irkens below looked like little green peas. These were the soldiers in training and every week, the Tallest gave them a speech and some tips on how to be good Invaders. They were more advanced in learning level than Xiz's group. They wiggled their antennae in salute as the platform with Red and Purple on landed. The Tallest smiled.
"Greetings Irken trainees!" yelled Purple.
"Today we will be talking about attitude!" Red changed the tone of his voice on the last word and wiggled his fingers. The Irkens all watched, their big red eyes unblinking.
Purple went on; "When you go out in space to the planet we assign you to, you can't just go out in the wrong state of mind. You must be confident. You must be determined. Basically, you must be completely the opposite to this poor mooch."
That was Zxor's cue. He stepped out on the stage, head down in shame and disgrace. He wasn't allowed to make eye contact or lift his head unless the Tallest told him to.
"This is an example of a failure!" Red yelled the last word and his eyes flamed. "For example," he continued, "say you've come up against one of the hideous natives…" Purple looked evil and pretended to be a "hideous native".
Red continued, "don't just stand there, if they attack you, fight back!" Purple kicked Zxor around, ramming into him and knocking him down. Zxor knew they would punish him if he got up so he stayed where he was.
"Don't lie there like a wimp. If they get you, get up and FIGHT!" said Purple. Zxor got up.
Red grabbed him. "And always remember, weapons!" he said, pointing out Zxor had none. Zxor sniffed.
"See this pathetic wimp?" said Purple, shaking Zxor, "this pathetic wimp has no confidence. He's a failure. And do you know why?"
"Because he never bothered!!" yelled Red, "that's why!"
No, because you forced me, tortured me and made me a wimp, that's why thought Zxor.
Red shook his head. "So you see, if you're like him you'll fail and be kicked out of the Irken Military. In fact, you'll be licked anyway."
Purple punched Zxor hard in the face, making him scream out in pain and fall over. Then he kicked him in the side. Zxor curled up in pain, shivering.
"Behold!" said Purple, "he shakes like a strawberry jelly!"
This went on for an Earth hour or more until finally Red said, "don't end up like this pitiful freak. Keep training, use determination and go forth and CONQUER!! Have a nice day." The Tallest stepped onto the platform and went off the way they'd come. Zxor was in the transport pod waiting for them. He had a swollen eye but it wasn't as bad as some previous times he'd been. The Tallest didn't congratulate him on a job well done but simple ignored him and chatted to each other as if he wasn't there. Zxor sighed. Still at least they weren't taunting him. The transporter took them back to the Massive and the Tallest got out. They walked off leaving Zxor to go back to his quarters alone.
As he walked down the corridor, he wasn't looking where he was going and bumped into another Irken. Kligg. Kligg snarled at him.
"Watch where you're going you stupid shit head!" he yelled. Zxor stepped aside to let Kligg pass. Kligg looked at him.
"Hey, you're that stupid fucker the Tallest are always messing with."
Zxor nodded.
"Man, you're a stupid bastard!" laughed Kligg and walked off. Zxor sighed and went back to his quarters.
Kligg took one last glance at him as he walked round the corner and collided with someone else.
"For fuck's sake would you stupid buggers watch where you're friggin' well walking??!!" he spat at the other Irken. Xiz looked to see who she'd bumped into and gasped. It was him! It was the great Kligg! She picked up the books she'd dropped and blushed. Kligg raised an eyebrow at her. Xiz smiled, not knowing what to say. She remembered once though something WIR had told her. Kligg loved flattery.
"I'm sorry, Conqueror Kligg, Sir, I wasn't looking where I was going" she said.
Kligg grinning, showing off his off white teeth. "Very well," he said with a dismissive wave of his hand, "you may pass."
Xiz walked slowly past him, making sure he was watching her. Then she wiggled her antennae at him and smiled before she turned round the corridor, turning bright red and ran off.
"Heh" muttered Kligg and lit a fag before continuing on his way.
Xiz ran back to her quarters and through the door then into her room, then into her room, shaking with excitement. Wow! She'd actually met Kligg close up! She'd spoken to him! He'd spoken to her! She'd even given him the respectful antennae wiggle. She fell onto her bed in a daydream.
Later on, Purple came in. Xiz was lying on her back with her eyes closed.
"Honey? Are you asleep?" he said quietly. His voice broke into her thoughts of Kligg and she sat bolt upright.
"Yes, yes I'm fine!" she said, not really knowing what her father had said to her. Purple sighed.
"I came to tell you one of the Invaders is coming round because I need to talk with him about his new assignment. Red's going to a party, which leaves me with him alone. So could you help me get the place tidy?"
"Yeah, sure I'll help you dad" said Xiz getting up. Even though both Red and Purple ruled, they didn't share the same quarters. The Massive was kinda split into two. One half was purple and the other red. Red's quarters were the other side. Red and Purple shared the Massive with a few Controllers and of course, Xiz and Zxor.
Xiz and Purple started putting things away and turbo-vacuuming the place up. Xiz straightened the pictures on the walls and Purple's candy bar wrapper collection, while Purple started finding some food from the item vendor. At last everything was ready for the guest. Xiz went into her room to get something when the door bleeper went off. She heard Purple inviting the visitor in.
"You've left your SIR behind? You should have bought it with you so you could've had it damaged checked. It would have been free too" said Purple.
"Hey Xiz, come in here and meet our guest," he called to Xiz who was still in her room. She dropped the photo of Kligg, picked it up and hid it in her fold out closet. Then she ran into the main room and suddenly stopped in her tracks. Purple never said their guest would be…Kligg! She stood in the doorway gawking at him.
"Don't stand there, come and sit down." Purple told her. Since there was only a chair and a couch in the main room and Purple was in the chair, Xiz had to sit on the couch next to Kligg. She blushed, sitting down. Her antennae felt weak just looking at him.
"Kligg, this is my daughter, Xiz" said Purple.
"We've met" said Kligg grinning at Xiz. Her antennae collapsed as she goofily grinned back.
"Hi again" she replied. Kligg held out a hand. Xiz looked at it, took it in her own shaking hand and smiled at Kligg. Kligg shook her hand slowly.
"When did you meet?" asked Purple.
"We bumped into each other in the corridor" said Kligg. Xiz nodded, then looked down. She still had hold of Kligg's hand. She hurriedly dropped it and coughed a bit. Kligg glanced at her before turning to Purple.
"So, what did you call me here for?" he asked.
"About your new assignment I need to assign you to an enemy planet. Red assigned you last time, so now it's my turn! Oh, would you like some curly fries by the way?" Purple offered Kligg and bowl of curly fries. Kligg took a few and passed one to Xiz. Xiz took it and went even redder.
"Thanks" she mumbled. Kligg ignored her.
"Yeah, well make it a hard one this time, Shogral was way to easy" he said.
"Easy??" yelled Purple, "you nearly died."
"I didn't die though, did I? Thus it was too easy and the next one should be harder. When you send me to a planet I actually die on, then it'll be too hard, ok?" Kligg went into a small fit of coughing after this and lit a fag. Xiz still sat holding the curly fry Kligg had given her. Purple didn't really like Kligg's cockiness, but he was a good and willing soldier, so he thought of a planet. Blorch had been conquered as well as Vort and of course Shogral and Gron. There was Meerkroz, home of the giant slippers and Ventrock, the planet of edible paving slabs, but they were too easy. Purple's mind drifted to Earth, where Zim had gone. Maybe he could send Kligg and some others to destroy it and bring Zim back so he and Red could send him to the planet of never ending commercials and destroy him once and for all. From what Zim had told them, Earth was useless anyway with its odd H2O and filthy inhabitants. Kligg could take a group of Invaders and teach them stuff. It would be good training.
Finally, Purple said, "Kligg, you are assigned to the destroying of that weird Earth planet, the one made almost completely of Dihygrogen Oxide. You are to take some trainee soldiers with you and teach them stuff. If you complete this task successfully and also bring back that retard, Zim, then we'll make you Conqueror of the Year and hold an all you can eat buffet in your honour."
Kligg, who had by now finished his fag nodded and said "I will not disappoint you! Which soldiers should I take?"
"Some that need help! Low ability ones preferably." Purple turned to Xiz. "And I think that it would be a good experience if you went along too. I trust Kligg here to look after you. Do you want to go with them too?"
Xiz couldn't believe she was hearing this. "I'd love to dad!" she yelled, not realising she sounded a little too over enthusiastic. She blushed again. "I mean, yes, the experience would be good training for me."
Kligg nodded and got up. Purple took him to the door.
"See ya then and come before red and I before you leave at the great meeting, ok? We'll tell you who's going with you."
"See ya" replied Kligg. "By
" he said to Xiz. She smiled and waved to him, still holding the curly fry. The door closed behind him.
"Well, that went well" said Purple.
"Yes, very well" grinned Xiz. She was off to planet Earth with her idol, Kligg, what could be better? This was gunna rock!
There, the first part of my Zimmy fan fic!! Part 2 is coming soon. You'll meet more chars, and yes, Xiz still has the curly fry!