Disclaimer: I do not own anything that seems familiar.
1 – Lost Girls
I watched Jeremy and Vicki intently through the crackling flames of the fire as they quarreled about something that I didn't care about. My mind was hazy from the alcohol and whatever drug was being passed around as I contemplated the young boy's fate. I usually kept out of other people's business but it wasn't my fault that everyone in town knew what the boy was going through. Losing one's parents is tough but I felt no pity for the boy or at least not as much as I probably should. There were worse things out there, he would get over it. I did.
Then again my parents weren't dead, at least not both of them. My mother wasted away as her cancer drained the life out of her and I wasn't sure what was worse. Losing your parents under unexpected circumstances and ill luck or whether it was more depressing to see it coming, to know that your dear mother's time was running out and there was nothing you could do about it. I decided for the latter because seeing death changed you forever. It changed my father and it left me weak and vulnerable, then tragedy struck again and when I felt broken beyond repair, he left me to fend for myself in Mystic Falls because he couldn't help me. He felt like he was making me feel worse, but what did he know?
Jeremy was better off, he never found out how weak his parents could be, which left his memory of them a perfectly clean slate, untouched by the traits he could have never imagined within the people he loved most. A horrible surprise left you shocked and numb, then slowly the grief and fury would take over.
As your feelings overwhelmed you and threatened to eat you alive, you tried to numb them and would do anything to fight them away for at least a few peaceful moments. I understood Jeremy's flair for drugs, his desperate need to make the voices die down, to make the images of past scenarios blur into oblivion. He stalked away in frustration, turning his angry back on Vicki and reminded me of what we lost souls were best at. Running away. It's what we did. It's how we worked.
Trouble came lurking around the corner and we turned the other way to cover our ears, acting like we didn't hear or feel anything. I thoughtfully sucked on the makeshift cigarette that held the drug, one of the guys had brought along to one of our meetings today. The silence of the cemetery was soothing and it felt good to laugh off whatever darkness had beat you down to the ground in the past, hidden away behind the daily façade you built up every stinking day. It was tiring and even if a small part of my mind was aware of the fact that we were laughing like a bunch of idiots for no reason, the other, greater part of mind didn't care. I didn't care about a lot of things lately, least of all about myself.
The night of my horror was several years ago and it still haunted me each and every single day when someone grazed my skin accidently or joked about chasing after a girl. There was nothing amusing about a damsel in distress and unconsciously I snorted in disgust, just as Vicki plopped down onto the log next to me, giving me a look that told me I might as well be talking to myself. Even among these people I felt like I stood out, as if they stared at me whenever my back was turned.
Her slender hand stretched out to take the lit bud from my hand and she inhaled deeply, the anguish slowly vanishing from her face as her eyes glazed over into a mask of something close to tranquility. It was strange how drugs could do that to you, they took everything away from you and left you in a giddy state of nothingness. Nothing mattered anymore but there was also nothing that could hurt you anymore, nothing at all.
"Ave, why do guys have to be so complicated?" She asked, settling her head on my shoulder with a sigh. I twitched at her closeness but tried to ease my body into a relaxed position to fight the anxiety that was slowly building up inside me. We weren't exactly the best of friends, but circumstances had brought us together and druggies had no inhibitions, so I guessed we looked pretty close. In reality we weren't close to anyone really, we were self-obsessed and pushed away whoever thought could help us because they could never take away the pain. What's the use of comfort without relief?
I massaged my temples roughly, successfully shaking off her head from my shoulder without causing suspicion. "They're not." I uttered in annoyance, her superficial bickering got on my nerves at times and I really couldn't understand what she was thinking around the opposite sex. "Look, Tyler's a complete jackass who will never treat you right. Why you even tried going out with him is just completely mind-blowing to me. Jeremy is the good guy you should actually be giving a chance and now that it's happening, you're using him." I finished with an aggravated wave towards the pills in her hand, the ones she had stolen from Jeremy's sister.
Jeremy wasn't an angel himself but he was too soft to be a druggie. This was just a phase for him and I thought Vicki was the real reason he hanged around with us because in the end he was too much of a child to be one of the emotional wrecks that we were. He would still experience so much joy in his life that it would overshadow these dark times in his life.
"Like you would know how a relationship works." Vicki scoffed, getting up briskly and walking away from me. I should be put out by her abruptness but I really didn't have the nerve to deal with her problems today. Any other day I would have been alright with shouldering her issues alongside mine but not today, today I just needed a good, old distraction from the images in my mind.
Vicki was right about one thing at least, I really didn't care much for a functioning relationship as I strode over to Jack, a guy with sandy blonde hair and startling grey eyes. Not to forget that he was fit and knew when to shut up. Our gaze locked and a suggestive smirk crossed my plump lips that was met with an eager nod.
His rough hand pulled me towards the woods and I let his hands roam my body as he pressed me up against one of the trees. I suppressed a shiver as he lifted my shirt slightly and ignored the bark that bored into my back, as he whispered huskily against my neck. "God, you're beautiful." I stiffened at his words as images flooded my mind, the very ones that I had wanted to restrain from taking up room in my mind.
I was walking home from our prom early with earphones blaring some heavy rock music right into my skull, making me feel even more giddy than I already was. I was finally finished with school, life could finally begin far away from my drinking father and this sleepy town. The gossip about who did what and with whom was nerve wracking, especially when you were the daughter of the town's drunkard but I was escaping all of this now.
Turning a corner, I took a shortcut through the woods, a short gravel trail that led straight to where I lived. The dark looming trees hung over my head like dark, stretching fingers and I watched the night with alert eyes, aware of the fact that I wouldn't hear a wild boar or any other kind of animal that might stalk me through the forest in the dark.
I frowned as I registered a young man standing on the path I was walking on and I wondered whether it would be smarter to turn around and walk away from him as I slowed my steps but I recognized his football jacket and knew that he was one of the blokes on the football team of the high school I went to .With deep breaths I calmed myself enough to stride forth a bit quicker again, feeling reassured by the fact that I knew this person and I removed my earphones from my ears, stuffing the device into the pocket of my jacket.
But when I recognized his angular face with dark hair and black orbs for eyes, I couldn't help a groan from escaping my lips. "Bryan, what the hell? You nearly scared me out of my mind, I was about to climb up a tree." I joked lightly, trying to hide my discomfort. I suddenly wished I had kept my earphones in and had simply walked on by, ignoring the troublesome bloke.
Bryan had been hooting after me the entire year and his frustration grew daily as I ignored his feeble attempts at flirting with me because I really wasn't interested in some brainless idiot whose only talent was chasing after an oval ball of sorts.
"No need to be scared, it's just me. Good old Bryan, here to walk you home." He declared grandly, throwing an arm across my shoulders as we kept walking. I felt not the least bit comfortable with his proximity but I didn't have the guts to tell him so. I was the quiet girl with the hot body that didn't really associate with a lot of people except for nerds like herself.
"Gee, how nice of you." I said awkwardly, rubbing my hands together as I grew more nervous by the moment. What did he want from me? He usually kept his distance and his sudden boldness was no longer surprising to me the moment I smelt the sting of alcohol in his breath when his mouth moved close to my ear.
"You sure left early. Was your date no fun?" He sneered, encircling my waist in a painful grip as he crashed my body against his. We had stopped walking now as I tried to wriggle out of his hands but I couldn't. Damn those fit football blokes and their strength!
I was beginning to panic when there was no more room between our bodies and no way to escape from him, yelping helplessly I struggled against him as he backed me up against a tree. My head collided painfully with the wood and my head swam with black spots blurring my vision. "What are you doing?" I gasped when my vision cleared again and inwardly berated myself for the stupid question. Was this all I could say in such a situation? No snarky remarks, no brave acts of stupidity.
"I'm making sure that you're having some fun tonight, beautiful." He murmured into my ear and his thick fingers trailed along my sides to my lower back, making me feel sick to my stomach when his hand connected to my bare skin. He thrust his tongue into my mouth and I nearly choked on the taste of stale beer as I drummed my fists against his bulky chest in an attempt to break this disgusting kiss.
Annoyed, he pulled back and looked down upon me grimly, his face a mask of anger and impatience. "Stop." I pleaded, the word slipping out of my mind before I thought about what I was saying. But he just took advantage of my opened mouth to stick his ruddy tongue into my mouth again but this time I was prepared and bit down hard.
He yelled out and slapped his hand across my cheek in a stunning blow that cut off my protests and feeble attempts at getting him off of me. His beefy hands roamed my body and I whimpered pathetically as he ripped off the scarlet dress I was wearing, my body shivering from the cold and the deadpan fear that was taking over me. My wrists were pinned over my head and my shoulders protested as a sharp pain blinded me at the joint. "Quit crying, you know you want it." He sneered, making the tears pour from my eyes even faster than the ones that had been trailing my cheeks before that I had hardly noticed.
As his hands started roaming my body in unruly places I started screaming for help but I should have known that making any kind of noise would be a mistake. His fist collided with my face over and over again until all I could do was breathe in hysterical rasps as blood ran down my face and he unzipped his pants.
"Don't talk." I barked at Jack and he just shrugged as he kissed my neck tenderly, not to be compared to Bryan's wet, sloppy kisses that still haunted me at night in my nightmares. I know that it seemed foolish to drown your sorrow in alcohol and having meaningless sex with guys who were just as dumb as the person who had defiled me and made me incapable of being close to anyone besides the occasional fling with whoever was willing. But I guess it was my own kind of therapy, trying to forget that one horrible night by sleeping with anyone. Rape was an ugly word and I wanted it banned from my world.
We deepened our kiss and our tongues battled for dominance as we clawed at each other's clothes, the pointy bark in my back forgotten but my hands started trembling as the memory echoed through my mind. Jack's hands were at my lower back just where his had been as he held me in place to take me against my will in a forest. The similarity between the two situations was astonishing and suddenly I didn't know what I was doing anymore. This would never help me get over a man taking advantage of me. I was destroying myself and wallowing in pity.
The moment of clarity passed when Jack was ripped from my desperate grip, leaving me to crash to the ground without the support of his body pressed up against mine. "Hey!" I exclaimed and I could have slapped myself for the desperate edge in my tone. So this was what I had become, a hopeless nymphomaniac? My gaze met white blue fire and I tilted my head in confusion and curiosity as the beautiful raven haired man bit down on Jack's neck who didn't even have time to scream before he was dead, his skin ghastly pale from blood loss.
I hardly registered his body falling to the ground because an angular face was right before mine with amazing ice blue eyes that blazed with a feeling that I couldn't pinpoint. "You know how to have fun, I think I'll keep you around." He mused in his velvet like voice as he stroked my neckline with an elegant finger. "You're hot, too, so you qualify for the little party that I have in mind." He said in a mock cheerful tone as he twirled one of the strands of my mahogany hair and stared deeply into my eyes, a playful smirk pulling at his features. "Your eyes are stunning, too. Yup, definitely a keeper." His eyes bore into my amber ones that blended into a light golden tone in the center. He brought his cell phone back to his ear and commanded, coldly. "Stefan, like I said I want my ring back or I'll be paying a visit to your dear Elena. Your choice." He snapped the phone shut in a final gesture and turned to me as his eyes turned bloodshot and his fangs elongated to bite into his own wrist.
He pushed it up against my mouth and my eyebrows pulled together in confusion as I drank his blood hesitantly as he cooed. "Drink up. No need to be shy." He secured my position by wrapping a lean arm around my shoulders to pull me close as he watched me intently. I pulled back suddenly when I caught sight of Vicki's unmoving body that was the closest to where I was standing with this stranger that was feeding me his blood. The line of bodies strewn around the fire made me shake my head as I grumbled, darkly. "I have to stop doing drugs." My head spun and I swayed dangerously, no longer able to hold up my own body as a ringing sound echoed in my ears.
"Maybe you should after this." He said threateningly, his tone that of a hunter ready to loosen an arrow in a killing stroke any second now. There was a sickening crack after he placed his hands on either side of my face, caressing my cheek softly then total blackness and nothingness.
I woke up to the most painful headache of my life and blaring music, but not the kind that I liked, there wasn't even a guitar in it. "Turn that shit down." I croaked, as I got up and inspected my strange surroundings with one hand grasping the side of my skull as if I wanted to tear it off right now, which I honestly did because the pain was unbearable. The room around me was elaborate and I had never seen it before, which only confused me even more. The feeling of confusion only increased when the man from last night was right in my face again, moving at inhuman speed. "Damn, am I still high?" I groaned, heading into the adjacent bathroom, not caring what the guy in the room did as I stripped off my grimy clothes. I felt disgusting and was suffering a hangover of sorts, I needed a shower right now.
The water started pouring and I felt like I could hear each single drop like a hurricane but still the water washing over my body made me feel more alive again. "Most definitely not and here I thought that you were the fun one." He teased me with that cold, cutting voice of his as he leaned in the doorway. I had really expected everything about last night to be a dream or rather a drug induced fantasy but no, there he was smirking his devilish smirk without a care in the world as I wrapped a towel around my soaked body. What the hell was going on? "Come on, Vic and I feel like dancing and you are joining us." He commanded, holding out his hand to me after he threw one of his black button down shirts at me that I shrugged on, my brows furrowing in skepticism.
When I only stared at his hand and didn't do anything he just rolled his eyes in annoyance and yanked me along. I looked around wildly and somehow everything seemed clearer than usual. Pulling off my glasses I squinted around, mesmerized by my suddenly perfect vision. "What the hell is going on?" I asked in fascination.
"You won't be needing those anymore, either. Now dance, will you?" The man said, pulling me up onto the table and I locked eyes with a dazed looking Vicki, unsure of what to do. So I let them pull me into their strange dance because it looked fun and I didn't want to worry about what was happening when these two were having such a good time. While we danced, Vic threw her arms around Damon's neck, pouting up at him.
"Can I have another hit, Damon?" She asked and I just stared at them when the man called Damon laughed but the sound seemed quite hollow to me, without a spark of amusement. He turned his back on me and Vicki eagerly pulled back his shirt to dig her teeth into his neck while he did the same with her. The smell hit me like a freight train and I stumbled backwards as fire erupted in my throat. My hands flew to my neck but the burning sensation was inside and I felt a hunger that I had never felt before as I watched a crimson drop of blood roll down Damon's backside, unable to tear my eyes from the sight. In the blink of a moment my teeth dug into his back and I gasped in disbelief as the wonderful taste of his blood sated the burning feeling I felt.
I backed up from the strange scene before me, realizing that this wasn't right. My nails dug into the wood behind me and my head felt dizzy but I knew that I wasn't high or drunk. This was real and it was freaking me out. Normal people didn't drink blood and love every drop of it. I wiped at my mouth hysterically and stared at the red marks left on my hands. But this couldn't be real, such things didn't exist. I was sure of it but the sizzling thirst was there and I licked the remains from my hands before I could stop myself. As I watched Damon and Vicki drink from each other it took all of the self-control I still had to not jump back to them and join in on their bloodbath.
My teeth clenched and my whole body was rigid as I watched them dance through the house, throwing around the furniture and causing a mess. I relaxed when they were out of my sight and settled down on the floor, cradling my head between my knees. Was this some kind of wild dream? Hopefully, I would wake up and all of this never happened. I could keep leading my dull life, working at the Grill, drinking whenever I was home alone to fight away the sorrow.
My skull felt like it was cracking in two as I thought of the suffering buried deep in my heart, the pain was building constantly and my hands started shaking again as the memory of Bryan's abuse haunted me in crystalline clarity. I wanted these feelings to go away, they had to stop right now because I didn't want to break down. I hated feeling weak in my own body with no control over what was going on. My feelings felt heightened and for a panicked moment I thought that I might be pregnant because this couldn't be normal. Then I remembered Vic, drinking Damon's blood like it was some kind of drug and I knew that my emotions weren't running wild out of normal reasons. I wanted to turn it all off, enough was enough. No more panic, no more fear, no more suffering.
My hands stilled as numbness took over but it wasn't the usual way of how I felt after taking drugs or drinking myself into oblivion. I just didn't feel anything at all like I was in a neutral mode and a fierce, triumphant smile spread on my lips. This was good, actually the first good thing that happened today. There was still the echo of my feelings somewhere deep down within me but they were too far gone to concern me. The sound of Vicki's sobs made my head snap up and I raced up to where I had heard her, my instinct to be by her side kicking in.
"Vic." I whispered tenderly when I saw her sit on the bed, her head buried in her hands as sobs racked her body. I edged towards her carefully and stretched my hand out tentatively to touch her, to soothe her somehow but I couldn't. My hand snapped back to my side as I felt that I couldn't stand touching her. I almost felt disgusted by the mere thought of touching someone and I realized that my feelings were creeping back up on me in an intense wave. Pushing them back, I rested my hand on her shoulder ever so lightly, making her look up at me with puffy red eyes.
"I'm worthless, Ave, completely worthless." She whined and my eyes widened in response. I knew that her sense of self-worth was minimal but this wasn't like her. She always put on such a confident act that people tended to forget how broken she felt inside. "My mother can't stand being around me and always leaves, Matt will hate me sooner or later and it's all my fault." Large tears leaked from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks and I pulled my hand back suddenly as if I had burned it on something.
Her words stung and I was incapable of saying anything to comfort her because I knew that there was nothing I could say or do that would make her understand that it wasn't her fault. "This is ridiculous." Damon snarled, rushing Vic and pulling her up by a hand curled around her neck. With a sharp twist and a loud crack, he broke her neck and threw her lifeless body to the floor in a careless manner.
Fury spiked within me and I crashed into him in a rush, slamming him into the wall behind him, destroying a cupboard in the process. Splinters flew around and I sprung back as they dug into my skin, pain shooting through my arms. "Damn." I yelled angrily, pulling out the pieces of wood from my skin and staring in disbelief when the wounds simply healed. "What am I?" I asked absentmindedly, my eyebrows knitting together. This was one hell of a crazy night.
"Take an educated guess." Damon said sarcastically, brushing wood and dust from his clothes. "The strength, the speed, the thirst for blood." He murmured, standing close in front of me and playing with a strand of my hair as he grinned a self-righteous smile, displaying his elongated canines.
I chuckled without humor shortly and then stared at him with serious eyes. "You're kidding me, right?" Panic was fluttering in my chest again but I turned it off, fed up with my wild emotions.
"See for yourself." He whispered, staring past me at the limp form of Vicki. But she was no longer limp, instead she twitched and then stood up like she hadn't been dead a second before. "Welcome back to life, sweetheart." He sneered, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"What happened and why do I feel so weird?" She asked, holding her head as she got up.
"You drank my blood and then I killed you." Damon explained, making it sound like he did this every day and I suddenly wondered whether that was the truth.
"Right." Vicki said, nonchalantly. "I think you should stop drinking and now I'm going to go home. I'm sick of your games." She walked out of the door and I simply stared at Damon, motioning towards her retreating form with my head.
He just shook his head and shouted after her. "You'll be feeling thirsty soon enough."
The door slammed and I was suddenly alone with this stranger that had turned me into what exactly? "So you're not stopping her." I noted, mirroring his posture as I crossed my arms before my chest uncomfortably.
"Nope." He drew out the word and walked back down stairs to fill a glass with the dark amber liquid of whiskey and handed me a glass as well. "You look like you could use a drink." He stated, coldly and as I sipped on the delicious liquid I realized that I couldn't stay with this man. My first instinct was to flee like Vicki but I felt like he would attack me if I did. He was dangerous and there was something in his eyes that told me he was a lost soul like me, that he would go down in flames and pull down whoever was close to him. I might have been a masochist in my last life but this was a new chance and I was going to use it well and keep my distance from my creator. "You will need to drink this." He told me, throwing a blood bag at me that I caught with ease. My brows furrowed as I looked at the red liquid in my hand, I was usually clumsy and couldn't catch anything even if my life depended on it.
"What happens if I don't?" I asked, looking up at him curiously.
He just raised his eyebrows at me and downed his drink in one gulp. "You die. It takes a while for you to die of thirst but eventually you do."
"Makes sense, I guess." I said, unsure of how to begin. I unplugged the bag and the scent nearly drove me wild but I was a bit better prepared this time as I started draining the bag eagerly and I tried to keep my composure as Damon handed me a second bag.
"You're… in control?" He asked, searching my eyes for a sign of the wild thirst that threatened to consume me and a bitter laugh escaped my lips when the next blood bag was empty.
"Hardly." I spat, plopping down on the couch. "More like in shock." I explained as we sat there in silence. "Vampires in Mystic Falls, who would have thought?"
Something close to an actual laugh escaped Damon's lips and he suddenly looked wildly attractive to me but I tried to convince myself that this was only the vampire voodoo feelings messing with my head. "Oh, you would be surprised." He chuckled, refilling my whiskey glass.
I stared at its contents and asked. "So I can still drink?"
"Sure, it can help quench the thirst but it always catches up with you in the end." He explained to me but then he hissed in frustration. "Now no more questions. I'm bored out of my mind and now we're stuck in this house until nightfall because I still don't have my bloody ring." He ranted, straddling my hips as he talked.
"You serious? We burn in sunlight?" I asked in amazement while he started kissing my neck, starting a new kind of fire within me. "Do we always feel this much?" I asked, pulling him towards my neck again when he tried to pull back.
He chuckled against my neck and his warm breath made me shiver but in a good way. "Yes, except when we turn it off but occasionally it's fun to feel." He whispered, capturing my lips in a searing kiss.
Maybe it was the fact that most of my feelings were turned off or maybe being a vampire made the experience better. Maybe Damon was just good in bed but for once I didn't start shaking after we were done. It didn't feel like the ghost of my past was taunting me the whole time but then again I wasn't feeling much at the moment only hunger and desire.
His fingers trailed across my back and I didn't mind at all as I lay there, sprawled across his perfectly chiseled chest. "Why were you with those junkies? You don't seem to fit in with those worthless, self-pitying fools." He noted, his voice soft and alluring. My body stiffened and I scooted off of him, staring into his calm face. "Are you not gracing my perfectly justified question with an answer?" He asked in amusement when I didn't speak for several moments.
I narrowed my eyes at his amused expression but grinned mischievously as I asked. "Why were you on a killing spree and hell bent on turning strangers?"
"That's easy." He scoffed, twirling a strand of my hair around his finger. "My brother decided to lock me up in the basement, I broke out and needed blood and entertainment." He said with a wicked wink.
I shook my head at him although it was strange that his own brother would do something like that to him but family had the habit to disappoint you the most. "That's not the real answer. The way I see it you enjoy getting into trouble so I guess your brother had good reason to lock you up."
His face became a mask of frustration and annoyance, which made me think that it was time to leave since it was getting dark outside. I got up and started dressing in Damon's shirt again, pulling on my socks and dark red, low cut boots since the rest of my clothes were covered in mud and dirt. Damon's arms encircled my waist a bit more tightly than necessary and he huskily whispered into my ear. "Well, then I guess you have more than one good reason to hide your body under baggy clothes and sleep with random guys."
"Haven't you heard that beauty can be a curse? Besides, I can do whatever I want." I said, coldly and pulled his arms off of me brutally. Twirling around to face him, I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him away from me and he flew back onto the bed. "I'm not going to let some man control my life." I screamed in defiance and stormed out of his house and out of his life, running away from the man who had turned me into a vampire.