OH GOD,WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF!
And the whole time I listened to They Move On Tracks Of Never-Ending Light - This Will Destroy You
The emotional effect will be greater if you listen to it while reading.
I'm a fuckin mess!
Sometime shows like to come full circle end it the way they started it. And if Supernatural is one of those shows I will lose my shit!
I came to tear just writing this piece of crap, how could I handle the show ending like that!
Dean wobbled through their battlefield past the blurred broken bodies. This was their last fight and they all knew it. A fight no one would leave from, not them and not the enemy. And as much as it pained him, Dean somehow knew he'd be the last standing. Reason would lead people to believe that Cas being the strongest would last the longest. Or Sam would prevail and kill their last enemy before he fell. But no. Like always Dean was the last standing. Dean was the last one alive. Dean was all alone.
But not for long. He had one more thing to do before he succumbed to the many bleeding wounds on his body. He had to see their faces. One last time. The only thing that was stopping him now was the blood loss that caused his vision to blur greatly. And it was taking all his strength to try and focus.
Then by some miracle, everything was crystal clear as his eyes laid upon two bodies. Almost in a clearing away from the battle. The two were so very close to each other it was as if they simply were sleeping, waiting for him to get there. As quickly as he could, Dean hobbled.
Stopping, he observed the two and it felt like a knife twist into his already broken heart. It hurt to see them more then he thought it would. But there was a slight relief amongst the grief. They looked peaceful.
To the Right was his angel. Dean didn't know when he started to consider Cas his angel. Not that it mattered now. He was and even in death always will be. He laid there on his back, he left arm resting on his chest over his bloodied shirt. Black ash in the shape of his wings stretched out burned into the grass around them. His face turned to Sam just three feet from him on his left.
Observing Sam was as painful as expected, his little brother. The pain in the ass boy who he gave his life for. The boy he swore to protect for the rest of his life. The boy who he helped keep human and helped keep Dean human in return. But he wasn't a boy anymore. He was Dean's little brother but he as a man. A man who saved the world and lost his mind doing so. But still somehow remained saner then he ever was.
Dean's lip quivered as he continued his way towards them. Only falling to his knees when he reached between the two. Tears streamed freely down his face for the first time in his life he didn't bother to fight them. No one was around to see them anyways. No one except the dead. His body had no more strength anymore and his fell, his body laying between the two most important people in his life.
Slowly and painfully Dean turned himself around so he laid on his back. Facing his right he choked slightly seeing Castiel's face. He tried to fight the guilt but it was useless. Cas was there because of the bond between them. He was there cause of the feelings they so secretly shared. Dean reached out and grasped Cas's hand and held it in his own.
At the touch it was like the saying goes, his life with Cas flashed before his eyes. The arguments, the times he got a genuine smile from the almost humorless angel. But most of all he saw the long moments they were able to hold in comfortable silence. Just gazing into each other eyes. No words needed to be spoken at those times. Just the eye contact was all the communication they needed. The most precious moment of peace that were shared with his first and only best friend that he ever had.
Almost reluctantly Dean turned his head to face his little brother. Without letting Cas go, Dean reached his other hand up to Sammy's face, touching his rapidly cooling cheek. And once again the touch triggered the memories. Memories of their fights, of their pranks. Memories of all the time they spent in the Impala together. All the time that he spent in hotels when they were young, making him food for dinner while their father was on a hunt.
Dean closed his eyes and opened them. Sammy was no longer there and he felt small. Not just mentally but physically. Warmth wrapped around his body and a melody reached his ears. Without words he knew the tune hummed to him. One his mother often used to get him to sleep with.
Looking up he saw her, warm smile, bright eyes and blonde hair seemed to glow from some unseen light. Something ruffled his hair causing him to look slightly to the left to see the face of his father. Beard was full and there were no trace of graying hairs. No sullen, broken look in his eyes. Both his parents looked down, smiling at their son. Smiles filled with love for him and each other. And in unison they both looked up from him.
Dean followed his gaze and in the middle of nothingness there lied a crib. A familiar one that he had fading memories of climbing out of to get to his parents room. And climbing into to see his new baby brother. He was shifted in his mother's arms as she lowered her face to his.
"Come on. Let's go say goodnight to your brother."