Beta: Ichigo1010

Chapter 1

I woke up to another hopelessly endless morning of despair. Exhaustion seeped through me, my hazel eyes were dull. I had been restless last night as I had yet another nightmare, tossing and turning in my bed like a helpless little child. I might have been over-reacting that night, but then again… what if I wasn't? That dream felt more real than reality itself! . . .

Ugh... whatever. Just another stupid nightmare I guess. Why should I even care about such a lousy thing when my life already totally sucks as is? I mean, why do I have to spend another day in a place where I feel I don't belong at all? Where I feel I'm only wasting my time and energy on senseless reasons? Why not just take away my life and spare me from all this anxiety and nonsense?

I sighed. Looking around my room, I saw the same images I had since long ago. Four, cold white walls surrounding the only things I have been with since I was young: small room without a single window, a solitary light bulb dangling from the ceiling, a small mirror, a lumpy bed, and all my clothes piled in a small neat stack on the floor in one corner of the room.

Today though, unlike any other day, I decided to finally leave my "sanctuary" for a change. It would've been better than just locking myself up as usual, in silence, listening to myself breathing, waiting for nothing to happen, surrounded by emptiness ,and trying to hold on to a forever lost dream of being free. I would just be lying there doing absolutely nothing, waiting for death to finally take me back to the pits of hell. I guess life probably isn't all that bad. I just have to accept the fact that I can never be truly happy no matter how hard I try - no matter how much I will myself to understand the situation. . .

I threw my long, honey brown hair back into a ponytail before I left my room. I didn't even bother change my clothes.

I had barely made it through my bedroom door when I heard a cruelly familiar voice come from the door on the far end of the corridor. "MIKAN, MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL AND BRING ME A GLASS OF WATER! FAST!" The voice shouted.

I couldn't believe that woman. Not a single minute out of my room and already she's bossing me around again. I heard myself groan. What did I expect from a person who couldn't think straight just because she lost her husband. It WAS her fault he left us in the first place. SHE never loved HIM, she just used him to get the things she wanted. An escape that she just happened to have stumbled upon one day. She was young and wanted to get away from her strict parents. She just wanted to be wild and free. But her means was unforgivable. When I was born, she used me to blackmail him into giving her all the money and support she needed. But of course, he soon had enough of being made fool by a selfish woman like her, and left.

While I had these thoughts I had already gotten a glass of water from the kitchen and was just about to knock on her door. But I didn't knock, after having thought about it a while. Instead, I just went right in.

And there she was, sitting on her huge, comfy bed on the other side of the room, the bane of my existence and the source of all my problems. . .

Erin.

The fake blonde was on her laptop chatting with her so called "friends" her brown eyes bored. She was wearing a fluffy blue hotel robe. Erin didn't even bother acknowledge my presence as I walked in, so I just set down the glass on the small table next to the bed. Then I took a quick glance around the room; grandly furnished with a sofa, a nice dresser with a small gold chest full of fancy jewelry, and a large window and balcony. How can such a horrible person stay in such a beautiful place like this and yet can't even provide the needs of her own daughter? She doesn't deserve any this! She is so selfish! Actually, selfish is still a very modest way to describe her.

I turned to make my leave.

"Oh, hey, before you leave, take out the blue silk dress from the closet", she drawled with a dreamy look to her eyes. "I have another date with a VERY rich man later so I won't be back 'til tomorrow".

I grudgingly did as I was told, muttering under my breath. I went to the walk-in closet and picked out the one I was looking for among the other pretty dresses she got from her other boyfriends. Then I put it on top of the nearest chair I could find. I was about to leave expecting at least a thanks or whatever, but none came. I was tapping my fingers on the door's surface, still waiting for a response from her. The clunk-clunk-clunking of my fingertips on the wooden door frame echoed in the room. Still without looking at me she screeched, "Oh will you stop that infernal racket! I'm busy here!"

I slammed the door behind me, not caring if that had disturbed her or not.

"What an ungrateful bitch!" I muttered under my breath.

She's going out with another guy AGAIN. I swear, she is acting like a freaking prostitute running wild with random strangers. She takes as much as she can from a guy – money, jewelry, dresses, watches, cell phones, anything she can get her grubby little hands on that she thinks is good enough – sleeps with him, then in the morning before the guy realizes it, she's gone – along with their precious belongings. And then she runs off with another man. It's always been like that since dad left.

What a waste of human life, taking advantage of other people for her own selfish needs – oops. . .! I mean "DESIRES". Just as I thought, this day seems to turn out as pointless as I first expected it to be. So far. . .

I'm sorry if this chapter might seem a bit crappy to you. It was so hard for me to think of a good way to start the plot. But I promise you that the following chapters are WAY better!