I should not have started writing this. And I should not have posted this chapter. Oh well! This idea was too great to pass up, and I have yet to publish a Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction that isn't a crossover. So, please enjoy reading this thing which will distract me from my main project! :D

I see no reason to post a disclaimer, since this site practically is a disclaimer, so on with the story!

Colonel Roy Mustang was having a day just as ordinary as most. He had gotten up in the morning, showered, pulled on his military uniform, and driven to Eastern Headquarters. There he strode to his office, sat down at his desk, and began signing paperwork.

He never once looked at a newspaper.

That day continued just as it should, and he was none the wiser. The next week was the same as that first day. No newspapers, nothing unusual in the least. He took no notice of the whispers about the rise in theft-involved crimes.

The eighth day, however, not even he could ignore the large sum of money that mysteriously disappeared from the accounts of several high-ranking military officers in East City Bank.

It was chaos. Those whose money was missing complained loudly to their subordinates, and the Investigations Department was working overtime to figure out who had stolen all those cenz and how they had gotten in and out without leaving so much as a trace of evidence showing that they had been there.

After the second time this happened, they thought for sure the thief (or thieves) would be caught—after all you can't be so lucky as to escape so cleanly twice, can you?

They were wrong.

'-'

"Colonel Mustang." The Fuhrer gave him a piercing stare which raised the hairs on Roy's neck. "Two years this thief has been at large, and no one has found any proof as to who he is. Time and time again he has stolen, and each time we have failed to bring him in. I'm assigning this case to you in the hopes that you'll catch him. Don't let me down."

Roy snapped into a sharp salute. "Sir!"

'-'

Roy leaned back in his seat with a groan. He'd been pretty confident in himself when he was first assigned this case, but five months later he and his team had made little to no progress. Many of the leads they'd picked up had been fake, and several people had called his office claiming to be the infamous thief that the military wasn't competent enough to catch. They had to bring all of the people in question into custody and interrogate them, and all were let go after it had been confirmed that they were not who the Colonel was looking for.

He was sick of it. It should not take this long to catch a thief (or perhaps, a group of thieves), of all criminals. The whole military was being mocked because of it, Roy in particular because he had been assigned the case after transferring to Central Headquarters. If only they'd been able to keep that bank burglary under wraps when it first happened.

What he wouldn't give for this thief to be caught.

'-'

They finally had a proper lead.

This guy was slipping—a civilian had seen him leaving the scene and remembered seeing an automail arm. It wasn't much, but it narrowed down their non-existent list of suspects by a great deal. Less than a quarter of Amestrian citizens had automail arms, and a number of those lived in Rush Valley.

A year and a half of investigating this case with his team, and they were almost done. Roy knew he shouldn't get his hopes up, this lead was almost too good to be true, but he couldn't help it. This damn investigation was almost over.

'-'

Roy sat up, a tired smirk decorating his face. They might not have found their target in Rush Valley, but he was pretty sure he knew where he was; it was so obvious, he wondered why no one had noticed it before. Perhaps it hadn't been there to be noticed.

"Second Lieutenant Havoc, First Lieutenant Hawkeye, you're coming with me. We're heading out this afternoon, so get packed and get ready. We're not wasting any time."

"Yes sir!" The two officers saluted and left the office, and Roy soon followed them, heading to his own car once he had left the building and driving home.

That lead had been solid. This thief would not be escaping.

'-'

Hawkeye shifted her luggage into her left hand. "If I may ask, sir, where are we going?"

A train whistled and pulled into the station. Roy's smirk still hadn't dropped. "To the east."

Havoc took a puff on his cigarette. "So you think are guy's hiding out in some rural town? Don't you think that's a little too obvious?"

"And that, Havoc, is why he's hiding there."

'-'

Roy looked up to the end of the path where a homely-looking two-story house stood. "All right. Havoc, you go around back to make sure he can't escape if he bolts. Watch the windows too. Lieutenant Hawkeye, we'll go in and ask him a few questions, and, if he seems suspicious, take him into custody. Understood?"

"Yes sir!"

Roy and Riza waited for Havoc to get into position before striding up the path. Roy knocked.

The door was answered seven seconds later by a blond boy who looked about sixteen. He blinked upon seeing them. "Um, can I help you?"

Roy really hoped this wasn't who they were looking for—accusing innocent-looking teenagers of felony was not on his bucket list. "Is this the residence of Edward Elric?"

"Ah, yes. I'm his younger brother, Alphonse."

Hawkeye gave a small smile. "Don't look so worried. We just need to ask him a few questions."

The boy, Alphonse, returned the smile hesitantly. "Come on in. I'll go get brother." He opened the door wider and showed them to the living room before thumping up the stairs.

The two officers looked about the room while listening to the conversation upstairs ("Ed, wake up! There are people here to see you!" "All right, already! I'm awake!"). The side table by the sofa they were sitting on held a picture of a girl and two boys, one of whom looked rather like Alphonse Elric. They looked about four and five in the picture.

The mantle and walls were also lined with photographs, most of them of children from the first picture getting progressively older. A few had a woman with chestnut-brown hair, but she didn't get past the five-year-old pictures. There was a tiny old woman in many, and what were presumably several people from the small village of Resembool.

Roy tore his eyes away from what looked to be a family photo (the father's face had a piece of paper taped over it) as footsteps came thumping down the stairs.

Another blond was led into the living room by Alphonse, this one's hair long and up in a ponytail, and his automail right arm was plain to the eyes, seeing as the teen was wearing a tank top. He looked about a year older than Alphonse. This was Edward, no doubt.

The boy's eyes widened upon seeing them. "Military officers . . . ?"

"We're here to ask a few questions, Mr. Elric," Roy stated. "I'm Colonel Roy Mustang."

Edward's eyes narrowed. "Oh, you're that guy working on the Fullmetal case."

Roy pulled at the cuffs of his gloves. "Funny you should mention that. That's what we came here to talk about."

Elric was visibly sweating now, but his brother didn't seem to notice. "Fullmetal? Why would Ed know anything about that?"

"I don't know anything about it!" Edward snapped, taking a step back. His eyes were darting all over the room.

Roy barely kept a smirk from spreading across his face. The way this kid was acting screamed guilty—now he just needed confirmation. "We never said that. We just have a few questions. Where were you on June 28?"

"I—I was . . ."

"And March 10?"

"It—it's none of your damn business!"

Alphonse stepped in. "Brother was out both of those days . . . Didn't Fullmetal strike on those dates?"

Edward took another step back, breathing fast.

The Lieutenant stood and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. "We're going to need you to come with us."

Fullmetal didn't have the chance to move before the cuffs were snapped around his wrists. Unfortunately for them, however, it seemed that didn't matter, because he clapped his hands and in an impressive show of alchemy, transmuted the handcuffs into a useless lump of steel without a circle, which explained a lot. Then he took off running.

Roy and Riza ran after him, and after getting over his shock, so did Alphonse.

By the time they reached the back, Havoc already had Elric in a headlock. The thief was putting up quite a struggle, and Havoc had a pained look on his face.

Roy hurried toward him. "Don't let him claps his hands!"

Jean's grip slackened a little at these words, and the older of the Elrics pushed himself out of the Lieutenant's grip and right into the waiting arms of Colonel Mustang.

"Sorry to do this to you, kid," Roy grunted, and promptly knocked him out.

Alphonse rushed forward. "Mister—Colonel Mustang, what's going on?"

Roy handed Fullmetal back to Havoc and turned to the younger Elric brother, expression grim. "I'm afraid your brother is Fullmetal."

Woohoo! Sorry if it felt a bit rushed or if Ed was out of character, but that was so much fun to write!

(Meanwhile in the background, No Longer Envious weeps because it was neglected so that I could write this.)

Updates might be far and few between because No Longer Envious is my main story and I need to stick to it. But I have some of this plotted out already, so hopefully I won't get writer's block or anything.

I hope you found that entertaining, please give me feedback, or whatever, and have a nice day/good night!

-Quiet Leaf