But Why has the Sake Gone?

It's shellshock in the kitchen and the tables start to burn as Vegeta has discovered that his sake has been commandeered…and he's not a happy bunny. Or a bunny at all, come to that. Set after the defeat of Majin Buu, the hissy-fitty saiya-jin goes on a mission to find his sake! Rated M for language and sexual references. :3

No pairings, just angry, pissy violence and lots and lots o' laffs! Please read and review, my friends, as this is my first posted ficcie. Open to flames, show no mercy, I don't give a shit. Enjoy! (in case you hadn't noticed, I'm also an avid Maiden fan) :3

Chapter 1 – Shellshock in the Kitchen

It was the day it all began.

The hour was 6.

The minute was 6.

The day was Tuesday.

The socks were blue.

The alarm was beeping.

The clock was vaporised.

The saiya-jin had awoken.

Vegeta, after getting pissy because he now couldn't see what the time was due to the death of his Hello Kitty clock, got out of bed, stomping first-thing-in-the-morningly out of the room in his blue Hello Kitty bedsocks and red Hello Kitty boxers.

Entering the kitchen, he saw his love-slave Bulma slaving not very lovingly over the stove, cooking breakfast for them both. She turned as she heard him enter and smiled sweetly before greeting him.

"Good morning, sleepy-head! Sleep well?"

Vegeta shot her a look that would have killed a lesser woman. Like Krillin, maybe. He hated being talked at in such a cheery, human way. I made him want to hibernate. On a faraway planet. After he had massacred all of the occupants of course. He replied in the most civil way he could.

"Meh."

Bulma approached him from behind and massaged his exposed shoulders seductively.

"Good, honey. You're gonna need that energy this morning…"

Vegeta could sense her arousal without turning around, which just added to his annoyance. He got up, pushed her away, and sat back down again moodily. Bulma thought he was playing hard to get and continued hinting –

"It's a little small down here…maybe we should go upstairs…"

Vegeta turned around and put on his 'no chance in hell' face. She continued still –

"…or maybe we could just do it now on the counter…"

Vegeta cut her off with a grouchy shout,

"Bulma, you stupid bitch, I don't wanna have sex now, later, or…. Ever!"

Bulma looked slightly hurt as she backed away a little.

"Why not, honey?"

Vegeta turned his back to her and rolled his eyes.

"Because you're crap."

Bulma, determined not to get the better of him, began what was to be a rant about how they never have sex anymore and how ever since they had Bra that he showed no interest –

"Vegeta, I think - "

"Shut up, woman. You bore me."

Bulma gave up, returning to supervising breakfast. Pretty soon she was finished and they both started eating. Bulma chanced a casual question to get him talking again.

"So, honey, did you break the alarm clock again?"

Oh, that was it. Vegeta slammed him knife and fork down, put on his 'very pissy' face and yelled across the table at his cowering wife.

"Oh so it's like that, is it? Goddammit, woman, you never give me a break! It's always 'Vegeta, where'd you put the car keys?', 'Vegeta, why'd you make a hole in the roof?', 'Vegeta, why'd you have prostitutes over when I'm not here?'! I'm sick of your whining, woman, you stupid, pitiful excuse for a …. Woman!"

Bulma was about to make a comment about the prostitutes, as that was news to her.

"Prosti-"

"Sake! Now, woman! Bring me some goddamn sake! You're enough to make any man need alcohol."

Bulma decided in her infinite wisdom not to argue, and so went to the fridge…opened the door…and remarked in her stupid happy human voice as if nothing was wrong –

"Sorry, honey, the sake's gone."

"WHAT?"

Vegeta just stared. And stared more. And a little more for the record. He wasn't staring at anything in particular, just staring. He thought, 'But how can this be? I'm the saiya-jin prince! Nobody would dare to pilfer my sake!' He turned to Bulma.

"Woman, fetch me my galoshes. The Hello Kitty ones. I'm going out."

Bulma, upon returning with Vegeta's shoes and battle vests, asked,

"Where are you going, honey?"

Vegeta, by now fully clothed and galoshed, stood in the doorway, his muscular frame eclipsing the rising sun as he merely replied,

"TO GET BACK MY SAKE!"

So ends Chapter 1! Chapter 2 will be up soon, sp keep checking:3