So I was writing my other story, when my friend sent one of her extremly funny stories.
So I asked her if I could post it up here, and she said yes. I changed it a bit and posted it. :)

This is a short one-shot about Edward's and Bella's wedding.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of these characters.

I looked in the full body mirror for the millionth time. My wedding dress didn't even fit in the mirror, it was that poofy. I didn't know where my body was.

The dress was strapless, and the top part was really tight, fitting to my body like it was painted on. It took about twenty minutes - and a night of not eating - to get into the stupid thing. Alice insisted I get it and that would look gorgeous in it.

I had to admit, it was beautiful. I pulled my skirt up, and stuck out my foot, examining my shoe. I was suddenly grateful for the wolves coming to the wedding because Alice wouldn't be able to see that I was wearing sneakers. I couldn't let Alice see that I was wearing sneakers underneath this very formal dress, she might kill me. But I didn't want to kill myself on this special day.

As I was looking at myself, I heard a knock at the door.

"Bells, are you ready?"Charlie grumbled.

I sighed, and walked slowly to the door. I opened it to see Charlie fidgeting nervously with his bow tie. He hadn't gotten it right, and had decided to tie it in a double knot.

"Charlie, what did you do?" I giggled. I untied it, with trouble, and re-tied it properly.

"Stupid things," Charlie muttered, "I never get them right." I laughed.

"Let's go," I said. I was excited that I was finally going to tell the love of my life how I really felt.

I linked arms with Charlie, and we walked through the doors to the church. I quickly scanned the room. Everybody was here.

Angela, Jessica, Alice, and Rosalie were standing at the end of the aisle, wearing beautiful, midnight blue, strapless, bridesmaid's dresses.

Renee was sitting at the front with Phil. There was an empty spot on her other side which I assumed was Charlie's seat.

I saw Jasper, Eric, and Emmett, who was trying very hard not to laugh. Last, I saw Edward. My heart skipped a beat, and I felt really nervous. I calmed down by looking through the crowd.

The church was filled with my family and friends. I saw people that I hadn't even met, but I was grateful that they had come. Everyone was here to witness my decision.

I also saw Mike Newton, and all of my other school friends, and smiled.

As Charlie and I walked slowly down the aisle, I had time to think. I knew that the decision I was going to make was the right one, and that there was nothing that would stand in my way.

I found another reason why I was glad to have wolves here. Alice couldn't see anything not even this decision.

Finally, I saw my mother beaming up at me. I was truly happy to have everyone here to witness my choice. Charlie turned to me, and kissed me on the cheek.

We hugged, and I heard him whisper, "Do you want some pepper spray?"

I giggled. "No, Dad. Thanks for giving me away. I love you."

He smiled, and then took his place. I walked forward, and saw Edward smiling my favorite smile at me. It always made my heart race, - and today was no exception - no matter what was going to happen.

We both looked at the minister, and he began." Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of these two people, Isabella Swan, and Edward...C-C-Coolin..."

Edward grimaced." It's Cullen."

The minister looked up." Well then you should've told me that, because it really looks like Coolin."

Edward rolled his eyes." Well, its not. It's Cullen."

"I'm just saying-" the minister was cut off by Edward yelling.

"IT'S CULLEN! Now can we please continue?"

The minister looked scared, but he went on. "These two people were brought before everyone here today so you all can witness something truly magical. True love will out itself, and so it has between-"

I interrupted. "I just have something to say." I looked at Edward, and he looked confused. "I know you were all brought here today to witness Edward and I get married. But I have to be truthful to myself." I looked at Edward and nodded. He returned my nod, grim understanding shown on his face.

"I'm not in love with Edward." I squeezed his hand. "And he's not in love with me."

Everyone gasped. Edward stepped forward. "I'm actually in love with a beautiful person, Jacob Black!"

Everyone looked up and gasped, as Jacob sauntered over to the alter. "I love you, too Eddie!" he replied enthusiastically, and they hugged. Emmett couldn't control his laughter anymore. Roars of laughter joined the gasps of my wedding guests.

"I'm in love with someone who is here today," I looked around at my audience. "He is a very loyal person, and I have loved him since the day that I met him. Yes, I fell in love with Edward, but it wasn't real. It was just infatuation. This love has lasted, and I have put this person through hell. Now, I want to make up for it. The man I love is..." I looked around. The guests were silent as they waited in anticipation. "The man I love is Mike Newton!" I beamed at him. The look of surprise on his face made me laugh quietly.

"Come up here, Mike!" Edward laughed from underneath Jacob's arm.

Mike slowly got up, and walked over to me.

"This isn't a sick joke, is it?" he asked quietly.

"I'm serious," I answered quietly. "I've never loved anyone more." And I kissed him. He was so surprised.

He lifted me up, and screamed, "I KNEW IT!!"

He put me down, and whispered in my ear. "You know, there's still all of your family here. My mother is out of town, and I don't have much family, but there's still a priest..." He looked at me expectantly. "Well...?"

I nodded, and we walked, hand in hand, towards the alter. Jacob and Edward went to sit in the front row - next to a stunned Charlie and sobbing Renee. What a strange wedding.

Hahaha! Totally never ever going to happen no matter what, even if Stephanie Meyer went crazy.
I still find this really funny.

REVIEW!! Tell us how stupid this is. :)

Anyways
Luv from Monika Whitlock