this is a short one, and i'm not too happy with this. but give it a try? (english isn't my first language)

She felt like something inside her exploding. This man she met five years ago knelt in one-knee in front of her, at her favorite place. His face was dead serious, she secretly hates it when he was being serious, but right now - he never looked anymore perfect. There was the most beautiful ring that meant for her in his hand, simple, yet stunning - just like what she always wanted from when she was a teenager.

She enjoyed it. The view, the surprise, the firework, the butterfly inside her stomach, his handsomeness, but-

"Kate? Say something."

"Uh?" The shocked Kate couldn't say a word.

"'Uh?' What does that mean? Is it a yes or a no?"

Kate trailed her hand on the swing set's cold chain, squeezing it lightly, and then looked back to her boyfriend, partner, bomb-buddy, everything.

"I get the job, Castle. I really could leave to DC by 10 minutes ago and be Agent Beckett instead of Detective Beckett." She looked right to his eyes and they looked as broken as when he found out Alexis was kidnapped. She felt really guilty – more than she ever felt – because watching him being hurt was the hardest thing she could ever watch.

Watching him hurt because of her is even worst.

And she kept doing that. Hurting him. She didn't know how to stop.

"So it's a 'no'?" She could hear his voice wavering. She closed her eyes tightly, because it was just too much for her to hear his pained voice while looking to those eyes who didn't lit up like usually.

Her ability to read him was balancing his ability to write about her.

But why didn't she see 'read' this one? She was here with a full box of tissue in her car, because she was really sure he gonna broke things up with her, and now she would really need than a box, because this is – they are -

"Kate, please answer me."

She shook her head. "It's a no, Castle."

She bit her lips – too much that she started to taste blood. She didn't want to let out her tears, not here, not in front of him. When she had the strength to talk again, she continued her sentence.

"...so you can stand up. You've messed up my plan." It came out less than a whisper.

She saw him nod with a heavy sigh, and stood up eventually.

"Castle-"

"-it's okay, Kate. I understand. I'm sorry I messed up your plan, whatever the plan is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I held you back, but please know that I'm here to support-"

"-shh, Castle. I don't want to hear a thing anymore. I hate you. I hate you for apologies you made when it's not your fault. I hate you for your sweet words to me that I don't deserve. I hate that we're so in sync that you managed to ruin my plan." She took a deep breath, she tried to be calm but she just couldn't. She was so nervous. She was more nervous than she ever felt in her life.

"I love you. I love you for the rest. You made me so happy and I know that I couldn't do anything to ever pay everything that you've done for me. I can't. We've made a hell lot of mistakes, and most of them are mine, and I'm sorry. But, Rick," she stood up, and then knelt in front of him with a ring on her hand.

"Always?"