Aurthors note: I do not own Halo, or Red Vs. Blue. I am not making money off of this. I decided to remake this due to numerous mistakes pointed out to me.

On a far off planet, in a desolate box canyon called Blood Gulch, two figures stood on top of a simple base. One of them, in maroon armor, turned to the one in orange armor, and spoke. "Hey, Grif."

" Yeah, Simmons." said the Spartan.

"You ever wonder why we're here?" came the reply.

"It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man. But it keeps me up at night." mused Grif.

Simmons gave the other member of the Red Army the best glare he could with his head encased in a visored helmet and replyed. "What? I mean what are we out here, in this canyon."

"Oh. Uh...yeah." Grif mummbled while examining his boots.

"What was all that stuff about God?" asked Simmons. Grif shook his head. "You sure?" asked maroon super-solider. The suddenly mute statue next to him slowly nodded. They stood there silentley for a few minutes, until Simmons broke the silence. "Seriously though, why are we out here? Far as I can tell, it's just a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. No way in or out."

Grif found his voice and said "Uh hmm."

"I mean, the only reason we set up a Red Base here, is because they have a Blue Base over there. And the only reason they have a Blue Base over there, is because we have a Red Base over here." Simmons said.

"Yeah. That's cause we're fighting each other." Grif said, pointing out the obvious.

"No no," said Simmons, shaking his head "I mean, even if we were to pull out today, and if they would come take our base, they would have two bases in the middle of a box canyon. Whoopdee-fucking-doo."

Grif shock his head and said with a laugh "What's up with that any way. I mean, I sign on to fight some aliens. Next thing I know, Master Chief's blown up the entire Covenant armada and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere, fighting a bunch of blue guys."

Unknown to the chatting guards, two of the blue guys were watching them, the light reflecting weakly off the cobalt and cyan colored armor. The cyan Tucker peered over the colbalt Church's shoulder and asked for the hundreth time that hour, and they had been out there since midnight and it was almost noon, "What're they doing?"

Church lowered the sniper rifle he craddeled in his hands and shot Tucker a look and said "What?"

"I said 'What're they doing?'" Tucker repeated.

Church resisted the urge to kick Tucker where the sun don't shine and whispered "God damn. I'm getting so sick of answering that question!"

Tucker looked at Church and said with distain in his voice. " You have the fucking rifle, I can't see shit. Don't start to bitch at me cause I'm not gonna sit up here and play with my di-"

Church inturupted quickly. "Okay look, they're just standing there, and talking. That's all they're doing. That's all they ever do, is just stand there and talk. That's what they were doing last week, that's what they were doing when you asked me five minutes ago. So, five minutes from now, when you ask me, 'What are they doing?' my answer's gonna be, 'They're still just talking, and they're still just standing there.'"

Both fell silent for a few minutes before Tucker spoke again. "What're they talking about?"

Church replyed angrily "You know what? I fucking hate you."

Back over on Red Base, Simmons and Grif continued to shot the breeze. "Talk about a waste of resources. I mean, we should be out there finding newer and intelligent forms of life, and you know, fight them." said Grif.

"Yeah, no shit. That's why they should put us in charge." agreed Simmons.

Then the red armored giant they knew only as Sarge ran up the acess ramp and hollered "Ladies, front and center on the double!"

Simmons swore and Grif said "Yes, sir!" while both double timed it to their commander.