A/N: No offense to any Flurrie fans, but she always kinda creeped me out. I know I'm not the only one who flinches every time I see her, so yeah. As is apparent, since this is apparently a custom among fanfics with names like this one, the characters may be OOC. This could somewhat qualify as crack fiction, I guess...
Disclaimer: I don't own the Mario series or any characters, places, items, or what have you from it.
The Only Paper Mario Fanfic Anyone's Ever Made
It was just another hi-technical day at Fort Francis. The RecordoMeow was recording stuff on TV, the BigMeows were slowly becoming more and more resistant to the Catch Cards, the SecuriMeows were keeping their eyes peeled for any people who broke into the fort just to place keys there for no apparent reason, and the MeowMaids were making absolute certain that no one tried to create any WoofMaids.
Meanwhile, Francis, the main chameleon himself, was playing a game on his laptop. He glanced at the clock in the corner of the screen, and he realized that the new episode of "Starship X-Naut" was about to come on in a few minutes. However, just as he was about to leave, the door to his room opened. He looked to see who was in the doorway, expecting it to be a random MeowMaid (even though a few were already in the room with him), but there was no robot cat in the doorway. Instead, there was a big purple cloud spirit known only as Madame Flurrie.
Francis took one look at Flurrie and gasped. Who was this character, and what business did she have coming into his room? The door must have let her in because she was female. It must have thought Francis would approve of her.
But, despite what the door thought, Francis did not approve of her in any really real way.
"Hold on a minute, will you?" he asked, pulling a blanket over himself and the MeowMaids who were with him. When he was certain that Flurrie wasn't paying attention to him, he began to whisper to his servants very quietly.
"Guys...what is that thing? Is it some kind of cotton candy ghost?" Francis whispered. "How come she's wearing a necklace, but nothing over her chest? I think I can see satellites orbiting around those things...If she kisses me, I am literally going to scream."
Despite all of this, he decided to just let her off gently. He emerged from the blanket and began speaking.
"Gee, look at the time," he mentioned. "I have to go to the big important thing."
Flurrie understood and left the house. She wandered for a little while before she found a theater.
"We need someone to sing for us in our performance!" the manager said to Flurrie. "Can you help us?"
Flurrie said yes, and she sang in the performance. The normally lackluster show became the biggest blockbuster of the year because of Flurrie's amazing singing ability. She made tons of money and was finally able to buy anything she ever wanted.
Meanwhile, Francis continued to live the good life in his not-so-secret fort in the Bitlands.
And they both lived happily ever after (and extremely far away from each other).
Also, it rained sushi in Glitzville, and Rawk Hawk didn't go hungry.
A/N: Francis is awesome!