A/N: Love this song, sounds just like something Johnny would say. So I made another One-shot song-fic featuring the song Ænima by Tool.
Johnny walked down the street, his new CD began to replay his new favorite song, it's just what he had been saying for years, but in song form. He walked past an insane hobo toting a sign that read "The End Is Near!" Johnny pulled out a knife and stabbed him in the head. He began to sing along to the song.
"Some say the end is near…
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon…
Certainly hope we will…
Sure could use a vacation from this…
Bullshit…three ring…circus sideshow of freaks!"
He snapped and yelled out the next verse at the unsuspecting tons of shit that sat on this unfortunate street corner.
"Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA!
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away!
Any fucking time! Any fucking day!
Learn to swim! I'll see you down in Arizona bay!"
He calmed himself but the crowd was still staring at him, like he was supposed to be their entertainment for the next few minutes. Well if they want a show, I'll give them one!
"Fret for your figure and," *killed an obviously anorexic woman*
"Fret for your latte and," *some people walking out of StarShmucks*
"Fret for your lawsuit and," *someone using a supposedly broken arm*
"Fret for your hairpiece and," *melted it to their scalp with acid*
"Fret for your Prozac and," *shoved the bottle down their throat*
"Fret for your pilot and," *burned script and put in their shirt*
"Fret for your contract and," *stabs out eyes*
"Fret for your car." *blows up car with people inside*
Starting to yell again.
"It's a bullshit…three-ring…circus sideshow of
Freaks here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA!
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away!
Any fucking time! Any fucking day!
Learn to swim! I'll see you down in Arizona bay!"
Calm once more, he continued.
"Some say a comet will fall from the sky,
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves,
Followed by faultines that cannot sit still,
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits,
Some say the end is near…
Some say we'll see Armageddon soon…
Certainly hope we will…
Sure could use a vacation from this…
Stupid shit…silly shit…stupid shit…
One great big festering neon distraction… *blows up building*
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied,
Learn to swim, *stab* learn to swim, *smash* learn to swim *burn*"
He walked up to his injured victims that were crying for their mother.
"Mom's gonna fix it all soon,
Mom's comin' round to put it back the way ought to be!"
He killed them, and turned to the surviving members of his 'lesson', and every time the singer said 'learn to swim' he ripped out somebody's guts, a limb, burned alive, slit their throat, bashed in their brains, stabbed their brain, broke some bones, ripped off their skin, shoved them into a man hole.
"Fuck L Ron Hubbard and
Fuck all his clones.
Fuck all these gun-toting
Hip gangster wanna-bes."
He sliced them in half. And continued the slaughter with a new chorus of 'Learn to swim' like a drumbeat; stab, slice, crack, smash, boom, pop, bam, swish, scream, repeat.
"Fuck retro anything, *slam*
Fuck your tattoos, *rip*
Fuck all you junkies *scream*
And fuck your short memory *splash*
Learn to swim, *slash*
Learn to swim, *gurgle*
Learn to swim, *crying*
Learn to swim, *swat*
Learn to swim, *whoosh*
Learn to swim, *sizzle*
Learn to swim, *final intake of breath*
Fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas,
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses"
Learn to swim, *cheeto'd* (Running out of kill sounds/ideas).
"Cuz I'm praying for rain,
I'm praying for tidal waves,
I wanna see the ground give way,
I wanna watch it all go down,
Mom, please flush it all away,
I wanna see it go right in and down,
I wanna watch it go right in,
Watch you flush it all away."
No one was alive now, they all lay silent, still, unable to interrupt, and unable to listen. Johnny began to walk away, towards the next corner, to do it all again.
"Time to bring it down again,
Don't just call me pessimist,
Try and read between the lines,
I can't imagine why you wouldn't
Welcome any change, my friend.
I wanna see it all come down,
Bring it down, suck it down, flush it down!"
And as the song faded out the sound of sirens grew louder, and the sight of a new corner full of human defectives grew in Nny's mind, as he raced towards the next place where the world would need his help, flushing it all away.
NOW REVIEW PLEASE! :D