Disclaimer; I do not own the Resident Evil franchise, it's character, or any rights to Dear God, nor do I claim them. However, I do claim ownership to my writing, so please do not steal!
Authors Note; I have long been in love with the idea of a Claire/Alice relationship. I always imagined the strong connection between them, so, naturally, I always wondered how they would feel at being separated at the end of Extinction. Dear God seemed to fit my wondering perfectly, so, naturally, I couldn't resist taking the lyrics and throwing them into a songfic! This is in Alice's pov, and I'll defiantly be adding Claire's soon.
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can't help but wish that I was there
Back where I'd love to be, oh yeah
The sand never ended. For the hundredth time, Alice looked at the horizon, hoping, praying that she would see anything but sand. A long abandoned house, or gas station, a car or, hell, even an Undead. Every once in a while, her eyes would fly to the sky, as if expecting, at any moment, that she would appear, proud and defiant in the pilot's chair of a commandeered Umbrella Helicopter. Her...the strong-willed, gorgeous redhead that was never far from Alice's mind. Claire...her soft, melodic voice and sparkling, olive-green eyes haunted Alice's every waking- and sleeping- moment. And, at the moment, Alice would give anything to look into those eyes, to hear that sweet, sweet voice singing or to run her fingers through that silky smooth fire red hair. It was a longing so sharp, Alice felt a keen stab of physical pain whenever she thought of the convoy leader.
Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again
Silently, Alice sent out a prayer, to who she didn't know, that Claire and the others had made it to safety. With a lonesome sigh, the blond idly wondered where her lover was, or what she was doing. Did those soft, green eyes look up at the starr every night, as Alice did, and imagine that her counterpart was doing the same? Was her every moment filled with thoughts of the supposedly lost superhuman, as Alice's was? She could only hope. And pray. Pray that some deity that still pitied the human race would hear her plea and keep the woman she loved safe, at least until she could find her way back to her.
Not for the first time, Alice felt hate bubbling inside of her. She hated Isaacs for everything he had done, more specifically the attack on Las Vegas and his never-ending experimenting. She hated Umbrella for allowing the T-virus to escape on the world and for allowing it to be created in the first place. She hated the life that Claire had been forced into, always on the move, always afraid that this day would be her last. But, more importantly, she hated herself. She hated herself for everyone that had ever died because of her; Rain, Matt, LJ, Carlos, Angie...her throat constricted as she thought the last name, the sting in her eyes alerting her to the threat of tears.
Yes, she hated herself for what she had allowed Umbrella to do to her. She hated herself for wanting revenge more than she wanted to make sure the convoy was safe, and, she especially hated herself for looking into those green eyes she adored so much and backing away from the chopper. The look of disbelief and shock mixed with betrayal and sadness that had flashed across Claire's face as Alice chose revenge over her would haunt the bio-weapon forever.
There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
and all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah
Alice was all-to painfully aware of exactly how alone she was. Now that Isaacs was dead, and her need for revenge was sated, she wanted nothing more than to find the nearest running vehicle, be it a car, plane, chopper or, hell, even a bicycle, and head directly toward Alaska, where her heart was waiting for her, in the palms of a gorgeous, charismatic redhead with mischievous eyes and a heart-stopping smile. But, things weren't that easy. She looked back toward the entry doors of the underground laboratory, knowing that, underneath the surface lie a massive facility occupied by no one but clones. Exact likenesses of herself. But, even with hundreds and hundreds of her-selves, Alice still felt like the loneliest person in the world.
Her mind played on a continuous loop, replying ever stolen kiss or secretive glance they had ever shared, every soft caress and whispered word. Alice's eyes were blank, starring off into the distance with a glazed over expression as memory after haunting memory flooded into her mind and tore into her heart like a knife, leaving her bleeding and exposed and, more than anything, wanting to die. Swiftly, her eyes screwed shut against the barrage or unwanted reminiscings and her fingers curled into tight fists. Soon, Alice felt the bite of fingernails into the flesh of her palms, but she didn't care. She welcomed the pain...she needed the pain. Small droplets of blood fell from the newly open wounds, pooling on the sand at her feet for a split second before the parched, thirsty dirt sucked up the drop greedily.
Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again
Finally, Months of pent up emotion caught up with her. Something inside of her snapped, and she fell to the ground in a fury, raining blow after malicious blow upon the defenseless turf. Her dry, cracked lips parted and she let out a loud, excruciating roar as her attack on the ground beneath her knees grew more intense. In the back of her mind, she felt the stinging pain of the flesh on her knuckles splitting with every impact, but her eyes refused to notice the blood that now gushed profusely from the wounds. She screamed again and again, each blow punctuated with a heart-breaking shout until her voice was raw and bleeding. The taste of blood filled her mouth, and she flung a few more weak punches to the ground before she collapsed, sobs wracking her body and tears flooded her eyes and overflowed onto the sand below.
She curled up into a ball, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them before she gave in fully to her sorrow and pain, her hate and rage. Her body shook with each powerful spasm, and, in between sobs, she called out the name of the woman she loved more than life itself. She didn't know how long she cried, or how long she lay there motionless afterward she ran out of tears, completely spent both emotionally and physically. She was hyper-aware of the excruciating pain radiating from her hands, now a bloody, sand covered mess, and the intense burning in her throat. She knew, without even looking at the limbs, that she had broken something...or many somethings.
Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
when hope begins to fade...
Finally, long after the sun had sunk below the horizon and the stars slunk into the navy blue heavens, she stirred. Stiffly, she unlocked her arms from around her knees and straightening her stiff back, rolling around slowly onto her knees, hissing in pain as the dried, dirt caked blood on her knuckled cracked, reopening some of the wounds. She looked down at her ruined hands, watching a few drops of blood seep from the gashes. Leaning back on her knees, her bottom resting lightly on the heels of her combat boots, she lifted her hands and, by the light of the moon, slowly clasped and unclasped the fists, stretching the torn flesh and opening the wounds. The flesh around her knuckles was colored a deep, angry purple, but she knew the cuts and bruising would be healed and naught but a painful memory in a few hours.
Slowly, she stood, the stiff, aching muscles in her body screaming in protest, her teeth clenching against the pain and her nostrils flaring from the tension in her body. After what seemed like a pain-filled lifetime, she finally made it to her feet, her hands hanging loosely at her sides. Her head lifted, the red, puffy flesh around her eyes illuminated by the light of the full moon. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and she swallowed, exerting every ounce of will power to keep the drops from ever falling. The time was tears was over...and, though she didn't feel better, the emotional tension that had been plaguing her for weeks had finally lessened, even if it wasn't by much.
She released the breath she had been holding before her slumped shoulders straightened, the emotion drained from her eyes, and the familiar, emotionless mask slipped into place. There was no more time for tears. She didn't have time to wallow in self-pity...there was work to be done, and the faster she finished it, the quicker she could return to her lover's arms. Already, the shredded flesh on her hands were knitting together and forcing the grains of sand from her body.
A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find
Alice closed her eyes as the light desert breeze brushed against her face, the blond trying to imagine it was her lovers touch and not just a cruel trick of nature. Suddenly, an idea came to her, and she wondered why she hadn't thought of it before. Her and Claire had always been incredibly in tune to one another, knowing almost immediately when something was wrong. So, that could only mean they were linked on some sort of psychic level...soul mates, Claire had once called it. Alice let a small smile curl her lips as she replayed the memory in her head, every detail, including the look in her love's eyes, the slight flush in her cheeks, and the way her breath brushed against Alice's skin as she declared them soul mates. Alice had hardly complained...in fact, she completely agreed with the other woman.
And so, the idea fresh in her head, she closed her eyes, took a deep breath and opened her mind. Her conscience sought out the all-too familiar presence of the woman she loved more than life itself, each second bringing her closer to her lover's mind. Finally, she found her, the redheads mind shining like a beacon in the darkest of rooms. Alice smiled despite herself, simply taking a moment to bask in Claire's warmth before she brushed her mind against the other woman's. The superhuman summoned an image of her soul mate in her mind before she called upon the image of herself lightly brushing the pad of her thumb against the redheads cheekbone before she leaned in and placed a soft, lingering kiss on her beautiful, luscious lips. With a determined mind, she projected the image she had created across the psychic channel, hoping beyond all hope that her hypothesis about their mental connection had been correct, and the other woman had received the images Alice had created from her inner mind.
Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
to hold her when I'm not around,
when I'm much too far away
We all need the person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again oh no
Once again
"I love you..." she whispered into the wind, the words echoing through her mind and, hopefully to Claire's. There was so much more she wanted to say, so much she needed to say, but she settled for what she had wanted to say the most. Lingering in her lover's psychic presence for just a second more, Alice finally broke the connection, her eyes once more turning toward the moon, knowing that, one day soon, she and Claire would be together again, and she could say all those things she so desperately had wanted to say.
Song; Dear God by Avenged Sevenfold