A/N: An ItaSaku? For real? (cough) Well, I decided to add to the number of the (awesome) fics concerning this, err, something like a "forbidden" pairing (banzai!). Few SPOILERS AHEAD (for non-manga readers). Might trigger some allergies, beware. Also, the storyline will drift off the canon-verse at some point.
Disclaimer: Do I sound like Kishimoto Masashi? If I do, then I'm very honored.
Numero Uno (#01)
--Prologue
Hoshigaki Kisame was on a really good mood that day. He had five bottles of sake with him, had a full breakfast at a lodge inn downtown, and had the privilege to stretch a few bones kicking some random Kusa shinobi's ass last night. Come to think of it, lately, he and his partner, the infamous clan murderer, S-rank missing-nin Uchiha Itachi (in one way or another, all the members of Akatsuki are infamous, S-rank missing-nins) were dallying, considering that their target—the Kyuubi container—was tucked safe and sound within the confines of Konohagakure, and that Pein wanted the Akatsuki to remain low-profile at the moment, considering the recent loss (Sasori and Hidan), and the latest catch, courtesy of Deidara and Tobi. The Sanbi was already sealed away the other day, so, having no use staying at the headquarters anymore, Kisame and Itachi had left for a nearby village, mainly to relieve themselves of some "stress" from missions (if there had been any at all). And, now that he mentioned it. . .
Where's Itachi-san? The blue-skinned shinobi blinked at the thought, straightening from his comfortable position against the wall beside the door of their hotel room. It seemed that he had taken a nap too long; now his partner was nowhere to be seen. Deciding that he need not to worry about the Uchiha sociopath, Kisame heaved himself up with a grunt and did some stretching, trying to think rationally for once.
Hmm. . .Sake, do some snooping around, go for a walk, some more sake. . .
Kisame had walked all the way downstairs to the lobby, through the hotel's entrance doors, and into the bright, sunny afternoon while enumerating his to-do list on his head, all the while feeling any nearby chakra within a one-mile distance. So far, so good.
After a few more moments of strolling along the busy street, the Samehada-wielder made up his mind at last; in one swift movement, he turned the other way around and left, having found out the best way to kill time before another round of sake: doing some self-training in the forest.
". . .I'm bored," Kisame finally said out loud, sitting against a literally sabotaged tree trunk. Ten minutes ago, the said tree still stood as sturdy and green as the others, until a certain S-rank nin bored out of his wits came and decided to lash out on it as if it was the very reason of his damned existence. Now, nothing was left out of it except the stump, where the perpetrator had unceremoniously sat, busy attending to Samehada, the instrument of its early demise.
Kisame secured his sword on his back, then looked up at the forget-me-not blue sky with a very dull expression. How he wished that a random ninja would just show up then and there, so that he'd have something to train on better than an innocent, unresponsive tree trunk. At least, a ninja would move and scream in pain when they come in contact with his weapon.
And to his surprise, his wish was granted.
He whistled to himself in amusement. He inwardly thanked those nymphs who were said to be the guardians of forests for granting his wish; a small clump of chakra had just stepped in within his one-mile radius. The band of ninjas was coming to his direction, to his further amusement. Readying himself for a bloody encounter, Kisame reached out a hand to grip Samehada, eyes darting around for the tiniest sign of movement.
Avoid killing and gaining attention as much as possible, Kisame.
Kisame growled and spat at the memory of Itachi's parting words before disappearing into god knows where, relinquishing his excited grip on his sword. Oh yeah, he should not gain unwanted attention, no matter how much he longed for it. He mentally cursed the skies; just at the moment when he was on the mood to act like the badass criminal he was, they just had to forbid him to do so. Talk about tough luck.
As he stood to gain distance between him and the sorely tempting combat dummies (or as how he liked to call the "weaklings"), a male voice reached his ultra-sharp hearing senses.
"We are almost in the location of the large chakra, Hibisu-sama. . ."
Kisame rolled his eyes, hopping on a tall tree branch. Yeah, right. He hopped from one branch to another, chuckling when he felt the chakras picking up a pace to run after him. "Seriously, are they dumb? I'm the one who's avoiding bloodshed here. . ." He came into an abrupt halt when he realized that another band of chakras entered his radar. . .just five meters ahead of him.
"Oh?" He grinned maliciously. "Closing in on me, aren't we?" He turned and went for his left, in a pace that was twice faster than the previous, just in time to catch a faint, "Shimatta! We lost him!" from where he had been just moments ago.
The persistent ninjas continued pursuing him, and Kisame actually let out a gravelly laugh. "Tag isn't my type of game, though," he said darkly, stopping short on a branch and letting himself fall smoothly on the forest floor. "I prefer dodge ball." He turned around, just in time to see two or three shinobi pause up on the trees that towered over him, all radiating off a menacing air. The moment they saw and realized who he was, however, most of them gasped, as if he was some horrendous beast they all both feared and longed encountering one day.
Which was somewhat true, of course. Goodness, Hoshigaki Kisame was on every hidden village's Bingo Book.
". . .It's. . .A-Akatsuki!" One of them announced tersely. Kisame assumed them to be members of ANBU, judging by the white masks and the katana strapped on their backs. His shark-like grin widened all the more when his eyes rested on their forehead protectors.
Konoha weaklings.
Kisame just stood there as the Konoha ANBU circled above him, a leer permanently plastered on his pale blue face. Like what Itachi said, never be the one on the offensive side in situations like these—the Akatsuki's goal wasn't to develop killing machines from S-rank criminals anyway, and acting outside the conditions of their little group was out of the question.
Besides, he failed on the "don't let yourself be seen" part, so what was he left to do?
"To wipe it out from existence," he said out loud, mildly startling the "combat dummies."
"W-What did you say?" one of them had the nerve to demand.
"Eh?" Kisame pretended to be scratching his head innocently. "I just said that I need to wipe it out from existence."
"Wipe what?"
Kisame bent his knees and dug his feet to the ground, preparing to receive a full-blown attack anytime. The action, of course, was perfectly concealed beneath his Akatsuki cloak.
He sneered at that particular ninja. ". . .You."
"Why you…!"
The last statement was barely finished; in a spur of movement, all the ANBU present at the scene launched an attack on the lone Akatsuki figure on the forest floor, ensuing a one-sided battle. Kunai, senbon, shuriken, and all other types of weapon flew towards the cloud of dust that consumed Kisame, the sound of them hitting something solid drowned by the yells and cries of the Konoha nins as they jumped on their one opponent.
For a moment, it looked like the ANBU dominated the battle, for no visible resistance came from Kisame. When the puff of dust, soil and grime disappeared, however, instead of the wanted missing-nin, it revealed a battered bark of wood, pierced by the offensive weapons that were supposed to be meant for tearing the shark-like nin's flesh apart.
Unsurprisingly enough, Kisame, brandishing his notorious Samehada, came darting out of nowhere, successfully slashing an unguarded shinobi from behind. The yell of pain resumed the fierce battle, with Kisame having the upper-hand. He dodged attacks and hit a kick combo at one ninja, then a huge swing of Samehada to the other, keeping as much distance from them as possible. It seemed that the Konoha weaklings weren't called ANBU without a reason, though—some of them were proving to be tricky. One of them had set a bomb on his kunai and used it to pin Kisame's cloak to the ground. The Akatsuki member's sheer fast reflexes prevented him to explode along with his cloak, and, as a reward for such a no-nonsense attack, he gave the attacker a taste of Samehada's pointy surface.
However, this certain ANBU member was fast—he quickly jumped out of his sword's way and attempted a roundhouse kick. Grinning widely, Kisame took three flash steps backward to avoid it. But another ANBU was revealed to be waiting for this to happen; he quickly unsheathed his katana and launched it at a distracted Kisame. The moment it came in contact with the enemy, though, Kisame's image blurred out of sight, startling the katana-wielder for a moment.
"Nice," came the gravelly voice of the one he was looking for, directly behind him. He moved to gain distance, but was a second too late; a powerful kick sent him flying to a nearby tree, knocking him unconscious.
Kisame straightened up and examined the battlefield. Only five remained standing; the rest lying sprawled on the ground, either dead or still on the brink of dying. A playful smile crept up on his lips—oh, the joy of killing these pathetic excuse for a ninja.
His break did not last too long. The remaining five attacked him from all directions, all with their katana pointed at him. Scary, he thought gleefully, as he smoothly avoided their blades from piercing him. Not smart enough, though. You should keep in mind not to come within my Samehada's range! True enough, one swish of the incredibly large sword sent the five ANBUs flying. One of them, the one who had proven to be tricky, wasn't thrown off-balance, to Kisame's amusement; he landed on the ground roughly and took out several kunai tagged with bombs. Already familiar with this shinobi's technique, Kisame dodged out of the way as he released the kunai bombs in rapid succession, sending small explosions across the battlefield.
"You should know better than that!" called out Kisame cheerfully as he landed on the ground.
"Say that again."
Kisame's eyes widened a fraction of a centimeter and turned around just in time for his arms to block a strong kick from the same Konoha ANBU. Damn, he thought, digging his feet further on the ground to avoid being thrown off-balance. One second later, his nemesis had caught up with him and punched him squarely in the face, sending him head-first on a tree.
". . .S-Sugoi. . ." one of the injured nins said in awe, gaping at a disarmed Kisame leaning against a tree stump. "That's Hibisu-sama for you. . ."
"It's not yet over," the person called Hibisu-sama said gruffly, positioning himself on a defensive stance, waiting for the Akatsuki to stand. "Go without me, Renji—report this immediately to the office!"
"D-Demo, Hibisu-sama—"
"Quick! Get as far as you can while I stall him!"
". . .H-Hai. . ."
As the injured ANBU named Renji hastily left the scene, a grin graced Kisame's lips. "Now, now, Hibisu-sama," he said playfully, slowly standing and cracking his jawbone to check the damage of the punch. "That wasn't very nice." He chuckled, straightening up and wiping the trickle of blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. "I can't let any of you get out of this place in one piece, after all."
"You have to get your ass through my blade before coming after my man, Hoshigaki Kisame," Hibisu replied coolly, his voice muffled and barely understandable from beneath his mask.
"Cheeky, aren't we?" Kisame taunted, then jumped away as soon as Hibisu launched a swift attack.
The one-on-one match lasted for another minute, with Kisame slowly winning the upper-hand. Although having the advantage, the shark-like missing-nin wasn't one of the most perseverant ninjas one would encounter—Kisame simply abhorred long battles. He longed to just snap this Hibisu person's neck with one of his more powerful jutsus, but the boastful part of him wanted to see if he could finish off this ANBU without exerting more than necessary effort allotted for the "weakling" category. He isn't worth of my jutsus, anyway, he added as an afterthought.
His little ramblings were interrupted by another one of Hibisu's powerful kicks, and it made Kisame more impatient. Frowning slightly in distaste, he planted his fist on the mask that concealed his opponent's face, making the ANBU take several steps away from the powerful impact. His punch had caused a crack on the ivory mask, causing some sort of satisfaction within him. At least, he knew his ninjutsu wasn't being rusty. He hit him next with a kick in the stomach, followed by a right-hook; he hastily caught up with Hibisu's barely responsive body and elbowed his back as a final blow.
Hibisu's limp body caused a dent on the ground as he lay there, motionless. Kisame landed a good ten feet away from him, observing his supposedly defeated enemy and the surroundings for signs of the ANBU who escaped. I can still feel the dummy, he thought gleefully. He took leisure steps forward, past Hibisu's defeated form on the floor. However, before he could take one step further, Hibisu's hand shot up and held his foot in a vice-like grip, not letting him pass. Kisame looked down on him disinterestedly. "Eh? You're still conscious?"
Hibisu coughed out before rasping out, "I-It's. . .s-s-still. . . not ov-ver. . ."
"Che." As a response, Kisame jerked his foot away from his reach, hitting the side of Hibisu's face in the process. The impact caused his ANBU mask to split roughly into two, revealing the face of this Hibisu man, beaten up by the battle that just took place.
Except that, he wasn't a man at all.
Kisame blinked at. . .her confusedly. Yes, he wasn't mistaken; this Hibisu is a woman—a young woman, in fact. She was pale, and her shoulder-length hair was bubblegum-pink. One of her green eyes was bruised and half-lidded, and blood splashed down from the sides of her mouth down to her chin.
Kisame blinked again, but the image remained. He watched, interested, as Hibisu's eyes slowly drooped, her mouth opening, as if wanting to say something. Then her eyes completely closed, an indication that she finally lost the little consciousness she was able to hold onto until then.
"So you're a woman after all, eh?" Kisame raised a foot, planning on stepping on her face all for the heck of it.
"Kisame," a cool, velvety voice rang out in the clearing. "That's enough."
The blue-skinned Akatsuki perked up in mild surprise, then glanced behind him, a grin spreading across his lips, exposing rows of shark-like teeth. "I didn't sense you there, Itachi-san." Uchiha Itachi was one of those exceptions whose aura Kisame wasn't able to feel. It took a lot of skill in chakra control for someone to hide his aura from somebody like Hoshigaki Kisame, who had uncanny senses brought about by his heritage. As the older Uchiha stepped out of the shadows cast by the trees, his partner wondered on how long he had been hiding there, watching him mess around with Konoha ANBU.
"I highly suggest for you not to kill that kunoichi," Itachi said, in his detached voice and emotionless façade. He approached Kisame in long, silent strides, his blood-red eyes never leaving the unconscious body of the pink-haired woman.
"Will she be something of use to us, Itachi-san?"
Itachi paused beside Kisame, then bent down to give the woman a closer inspection. "I was attacked from the other end of the forest as well," he started. "by ANBU coming from Konohagakure."
Now, that was a surprise. Had this been a planned ambush all along?
As if reading his mind, Itachi closed his eyes and stood again. "I do not think that they were expecting to bump into us on their way back to Konoha. I interrogated one of the ANBU that I fought. It seems that there were two teams sent for a mission, and that they used two different paths upon going and returning from it. One team, though, is a mere decoy, for those who would plan to interfere with the mission. This—" He referred to the woman "—is a member of the decoy team; the real Hibisu Watanase was on the team I had fought, and I had already killed him."
Kisame nodded. "That being your point, I still don't get it why I need to spare this woman's life." He paused, then added, "And I had let another member escape, Itachi-san. Should I track him down?"
But to his surprise, the Uchiha shook his head wearily. "It makes things easier," he said. "Carry her back to the room."
"H-Hai. . ." Kisame replied uncertainly, bending down and picking up the limp body. Sensing his doubt, Itachi turned back to him and blinked ever so slowly.
"Do you remember who this kunoichi is?" he asked imploringly.
"Eto. . .I'm not so sure that I met her." Kisame dumped the woman on his shoulder effortlessly, as if she weighed no more than a thin sheet of paper.
"She was a close acquaintance of the Kyuubi container, Uzumaki Naruto-kun." Itachi turned his back to Kisame and looked ahead of him impassively. "She was the one who defeated Sasori-san together with the old woman from the Sand." With that, he left, towards the direction of the village where they were staying in.
"I see. . ." Kisame felt himself grinning as he followed his partner silently. Itachi had this weird way in words that made him comprehend things much easier even though he barely spoke five sentences to explain it to him. Like now, when obviously he made no effort to make himself clear—he knew Kisame had already understood him the moment he made mention of the Kyuubi.
Kisame would not like to think that it was mainly because of the bond that had formed between him and Itachi through all those years of them being partners, but, admittedly, it has to be the reason behind all the mutual understanding. He shrugged the idea off, paying attention to the slow breathing of the woman on his shoulder instead.
"I hope you'd be a good sake partner, kunoichi," he said loudly. "I hadn't had any since a long time ago."
His laughter after that echoed loudly in the forest.
A/N: Dan, dan! Chappy done! I hope you liked it. If there are any clarifications, please inform me through reviewing. If you don't receive any answer from me, it only meant one thing: that the answer will be revealed in the future chapters. Please do review and tell me if you found it good or bad. Flames are very, very welcome. Thank you for reading!!!
Sneak Peek:
Itachi met Kisame's bewildered look, and he closed his eyes contemplatively. This definitely didn't turn out like he wanted it to be. "Kunoichi," he finally said, a hand digging inside his holster, "stay there."
She looked at him suspiciously. "What are you planning to do?" Her eyes widened when the next moment, a shuriken flew its way towards her. What the—?
She dodged the shuriken just in time, so that instead of it hitting her squarely in the forehead, all it managed to pin to the wall behind her was a few strands of her pink hair. "What the hell was that about?!" she shrieked malevolently.
Kisame grimaced from his spot beside the door. "This is bad, Itachi-san," he said casually. "But funny, at the same time."
Now, I guess, you know what'll happen next. (--ll) Have a good time guessing!