Author's Note: Hi everyone! Another one-shot's up! With shame I dare to say I'm quite proud of this one, but you are actually the ones to know it! Anyway, this one is a total AU and I guess a short summary is needed: Ron is a 25-year old singer, extremely famous all over the world, but after some years of career, he starts making many mistakes, one after the other, as regards mostly his career life; that actually drives him to drug use. I guess it's a rather dark fic, containing drug use, some reference to sexual themes, somewhat violent images and swearing (well, I still don't know how I managed to type swearing, even though there isn't much of it...)
I actually thought of this story while I was watching a vid from 'ilikethesepeople' at youtube- "Take This Night"; you can actually find a link for the video in my profile.
Well, now I'll just stop writing and I'll let you read... Enjoy! :)
~Wrap Hope Around Me Like A Sheet~
Click.
The door opened almost inaudibly, the only person that lived in this house entered almost invisibly, as harsh, so black shadows were all other the house- the only source of meager light was the some silver lights of the city below this huge penthouse. He closed the door behind him and walked ever so slowly towards somewhere unknown, his steps mute, his pace dull, like the man was taking his last steps that were heading towards death. He sighed heavily and his head hung miserably, as he let another open magazine to fell onto a pile of many other magazines, all opened and showing images of one single person in so many different times of his life, yet they were all the same. Poisonous knives.
The last issue talked about a talented, unreachable man and his last work. At first one would think that the review would be good and praise the work of the artist, but no; all the bitterness, all the painful words and the criticizing would be soon revealed, as well, letting nothing good to comfort the heart, nothing that would let relief stay with him. Anything good had abandoned him long ago…
"… and how actually did Ron Weasley even dare to participate in, to accept, such projects? Even though we all had thought that the redhead singer from Devon wouldn't be able to step lower that he already had, here it is now, the inevitable evidence that a man can surprise us all, even his most obsessive fans.
The last photoshoot, due to the campaign for his last album, is just indescribable, with the repulsive meaning of the world. In all my years of reviewing and criticizing, I cannot remember laying my eyes in photos as hideous, unethical and shocking as these ones. How can they actually think that showing a man in moments as these ones, and then make them public, where everyone can see them- including many children and youngsters that can be easily affected by what they see-, that would be attractive to people to buy the last CD of the artist- which is as a disappointment as its campaign? Probably, the only good this photoshoot did was that it's another proof that the image they wanted for Weasley to have as good, principled, quiet boy 7 years ago- with the start of his controversial career- was absolutely fake and implausible.
With shame I admit that I was even ecstatic when I heard the first album of the man and read his very first interviews; he seemed to be a fine man with glorious future at the stardom. However, as the years passed and he kept singing, he seemed less appealing and with much less strategy in him than he so often claimed he had in his interviews. We all could say that probably was the management that led him here, but after 5 years of wrong moves, judgments, flawed music and mistaken things to say in press conferences, most probably it was the singer himself that thought that whatever he would do, he would always be the adorable man that would make public scream his name for an autograph…
After the campaign, which actually made me have already many doubts about hearing the artist's work, I still heard the 15 brand-new songs of him. And the conclusion? Each and every one song in the album is dreadful, only able to slightly amaze and amuse some of his still so fanatic audience. The music is very poor, despite its nerve, the lyrics almost empty, and even though Ron Weasley's voice is still one of the most charismatic and breathtaking voices ever, this voice still cannot raise so much the so meager level of the whole production. As a result to this, I really cannot suggest such an album to be bought- even though it's already at the top of the charts, along with the first single, by fans that seem to stay by his side whatever immoral things he does or shows. So, for two things we can be almost sure: that Ron Weasley will never left without a good portion of money and fame- even though such fame is really undesirable- and that our hope for this singer is long lost, as he seems unable to recover and finally give us something that is equivalent to his very first work."
Next to the article, some pictures from the album and the campaign could be seen: a white room, with nothing inside but a white, quite large bath tub, in the middle. A naked, redhead man was in there, half of his body covered with a blend of liquids: water and what seemed to be scarlet, fluid substance. His long arms were out of the tub, hanging in the air- from the elbows down, the skin was covered by trickles of vivid red, shiny liquid, while red stains were clearly visible on the white floor; finally his head was resting on the edge of the tube, his eyes wide, looking towards the ceiling, but not actually seeing, the handsome face, which was as colorless as the marble floor, was emotionless, almost lifeless…
The rest of the pictures where similar: a serial killer with red hair and icy blue eyes that was digging holes in the ground, on the process of hiding the corpses that actually were his victims; an identical man that was shooting at the 'husband' of his half-naked 'affair' next to him; a drug-dealer who was watching a young teenager that was begging for relief, with a cold, sly smile on his half-shadowed face… The only image that was the least shocking of all was one with a man's body from behind, the muscular back half-shadowed, as well, and full of long scars- from behind it, a very dark face on its profile could be seen, making the picture holding a dark sense of mystery, even though everyone could guess who was the man in the picture…
Ron Weasley kept walking until he reached the table of his dining room, where he stopped absentmindedly, his piercing blue eyes gazing uninterestedly at its fine surface.
Tyler, his manager, had told him that articles about his new album would be published this week on the press, as well as on TV. He eagerly had bought the new issue of the most popular music magazine in UK, wanting to read about their thoughts. His eagerness had lost only seconds later. Now, the only thing that had remained inside him was the bitter words of everyone, little, sharp knives that made him numb; he took off his t-shirt unconsciously and tossed it down slowly, as his body was breathing desperately for some coolness.
He heard voices and sounds and with awe looked at the huge TV some meters away from him; he couldn't remember turning it on. The channels kept changing and changing, a constant zapping that he wasn't able to understand that he was making, even though the remote control was under his hand. He kept on the dull process unconsciously, until his ear caught the sound of his name- his fingers froze on the spot and his eyes widened with slight anticipation, as the man's utter attention was now on the screen.
"…and yes, the new album from the red-haired singer came out one week ago, already being no.1 at charts."
"Of course it is, but can you actually understand how people found it in themselves to buy this album?" the man spoke incredulously, looking at the other host with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. The woman laughed lightly.
"Oh, come on now, Ron Weasley's so cute! And his voice is melting for sure!" the woman said openly; the man laughed sarcastically at her words.
"Oh, but of course; it's so very cute to pretend to have commit suicide or to bring people suffering from drug use! It's very charming indeed!"
"Oh, stop now, Jonathan! These are just some plain pictures for promoting the album- people can surely realize that and not let themselves get affected by it." the woman host said immediately with a rather serious tone in her voice.
"Stop this nonsense, Angela; they went way too far this time! This man keeps pushing his luck believing nothing will happen, but luck won't be with him any more if he keeps doing such overly gruesome things just to attract people."
The TV somehow turned off, and Ron looked at nowhere with lost eyes and slightly parted lips, his head on its way to dizziness. Of course, this outcome was a usual one for the last four-five years, but it always made him suffer greatly. He inhaled deeply, trying poorly to compose himself before shattering, but the breath was shaky and half-done, the spinning of his head making him quite unable to synchronize too many functions of his body.
He crushed on the sofa without realizing, heavy migraine already on its way, too, while his arms started to shake a bit. He couldn't bear that, life was too cruel to stand it, he needed, he needed…
His mobile phone suddenly rang, making the man jump a bit from the momentary affright. He slowly took it in his hand and answered with as much calmness as he was able to muster.
"Yes?" his deep, rich, yet rather weak at the moment, voice echoed all over the soundless room. He waited a little, listening to the speaker, then answering back rather unwillingly: "Hi, Tyler." Silence once again. "Yeah, I read it" he said emotionlessly, his voice only a bit louder than a whisper. "Yeah, I saw that one, too, although accidently…" he answered again after a brief silence. "Never mind, Tyler, I'm ok… No, I'm really ok with it, people have different opinions, you know?" Longer silence this time, during which the man on the sofa was slowly and silently shattering inside. "You wanted me to make this album a hit and it's a hit even before ads were actually out; so what's your problem, Tyler?" His voice was steadily getting louder as he felt himself start to boil inside from rising anger. "I did whatever you told me and I made you happy, so why's your problem whether I'm ok or not, huh?" This moment silence was longer than ever, Ron hearing intensely at the man's voice. "Mind your own business, Tyler and don't give a shit about my ass, ok? Don't waste your precious sleep over me- I can babysit myself fairly well, for your information! Sleep well, buddy and dream about how you'll spend all this fucking money!"
He hung up without waiting for any sort of answer from the other person- it was downright useless. Then, an unbearable pain made its appearance over his right eye, making him moan softly. He couldn't wait any more; he knew he had to do this as soon as possible…
He sat up quickly and went towards the bathroom. In the cabinet, invisible for most people, was an ever so small sachet full of a dry substance. Ron grabbed it without hesitation and went back to the living room. He made a cigarette quickly with his trembling hands, putting some of the contents of the sachet in it, then he lit it eagerly and put its edge in his mouth, his eyelids instantly concealing the beautiful irises.
One deep sip… The dizziness was already half-gone, the pain only dull now as his mind filled with non-existent fog… He instantly felt better and he took another sip.
He started smoking weed once the massive headaches from the depression didn't suppress at all, even daring to sniff some cocaine every now and then; he had found it the most efficient, setting-free painkiller of all, because it would also ease his emotional pain as well, a sting much huger than mere headaches…
Sips started to become fewer and longer, inhaling and exhaling now a slow, calm course that only mattered for the vulnerable man.
"… unkind man without a heart…"
"…gruesome…"
"…he pushes his luck…"
"…someone should wake this boy up and show him that he doesn't own the world…"
"… just a corrupt, cocky, young man…"
"…untalented… immoral… pretentious…"
"…he tries to seem innocent and good in his appearances, only managing to have a bitchy behaviour…"
"…such a shame for the stardom… should pity his audience and take his leave…"
"…callous manners and swallow personality… nothing to give but his body to young ladies…"
"…disappointment…"
'Fuck them. All of them. They don't know a thing about you; they're just some heartless bastards- thirsty bloodsuckers that worth nothing…' he miserably tried to reassure his other half through the so apparent numbness of his consciousness.
"…dissatisfactory… unable to enchant anymore…"
'They don't know anything- they're just experts doing their job…'
"…unworthy work… he'll expire as a singer sooner than expected…"
"…hideous… hollow… pitiful…"
He took sips and sips, desperately driving himself into oblivion, lulling himself into temporary, needed forgetfulness. He soon forget everything; he wasn't able to remember his name, his problems, the reason he was like that, but he didn't care much about it- it was better being no one for some flawed, miserable, frozen moments of wretched life.
Ron Weasley was a singer since his 18 years, his undoubted charisma in his voice was soon discovered and he immediately became a part of the music industry. There was actually no need for him to do much; his star instantly shone and he was one of the most popular artists worldwide in a matter of weeks, even days. He was happy then and content, believing that he had actually found what he was supposed to do with his life, making people satisfied with his work and finding peace while doing the one thing that made him as well, pleased. But as years passed, he started making mistakes, one after the other… Critics became stricter, people less excited, producers sometimes dubious… he became sorrowful and desperate to please all of them once again, but only managing to make more mistakes, take more disastrous decisions, making everything much worse… That's when he began to tear apart.
It was the release of the first single, part of the oncoming third album of his back then, called 'Once I Loved A Lonely Man', since when things started to change from rosy to bad for Ron. The song created a great furor, just because of its lyrics and meaning, and then all started to wonder vividly if actually Ron Weasley was gay. Press conferences and many interviews followed by, just for Ron to confirm that the song didn't talk about him, that his sexuality was naturally alright. But rumors started to spread actually like plague and some people still believed their theory about him and homosexuality. Ron had slowly started to become desperate, helpless and unable to understand what was going on; he suddenly seemed to be prime target of everyone's, just them putting him under a harsh light, an unknown side of fame he didn't want to ever face, yet he faced it every single day of his life now.
Since then actually, he started to had immense headaches that simple painkillers couldn't actually subside; it was then when someone had told him that drugs would do in his case, and as pain and despair weren't actually good parameters for judgment, he simply gave in to the pressure he was put into, accepting a so easy way out of problems that he couldn't take away from him…
Now he just didn't care about taking them away from him; it was his typical way to put himself into an anesthetized condition he merely yearned… Because, even if this was crazy, all these unsolved problems made him understand that he had a way to completely escape from this lonely, sick world. And he just wanted to escape from it, because he was even sicker and he thought he didn't actually deserve to be in it. Because this same world sometimes even dared to make him feel guilty for existing, just for the reason that he was too much of a contrast to what supposed to be 'harmony' in the university.
He wasn't blind, but sure as hell he couldn't see this harmony anywhere…
Maybe that was the reason he imprisoned himself into this also sick, yet setting-free, situation- for mere getaway from the lonely, unforgiving world that surrounded him inevitably, and he knew now that he didn't like it much… How could you like something as abstract as life if you're actually alone? If you cannot actually see the brightness of the sun, if you cannot feel the warmth of it or the caresses a welcoming breeze would sent your way?... How could you actually like such a delicate thing if you cannot even savour it?
Maybe it was a good thing he was lost in his own, makeshift world, after all…
…
He was walking down the street, just after being at Tyler's office for hours, making plans about a worldwide tour and such. Ron was quite bored of such meaningless meetings, all he just wanted was to go back home and relax. He wore his dark-olive sunglasses, even though the sun had already set, and accelerated his pace unconsciously, the only thought in his mind was to get into his car as soon as possible. That was until he heard someone calling him. He sighed softly, rather disappointed that his wish wouldn't accomplice for some more minutes, and he turned around, about to face the one who managed to recognize him. He saw then a woman waving at him, a small smile on her face; Ron took a deep breath and took the necessary few steps so he could be within earshot with the fan.
"Are you Ron Weasley, right?" the young woman told immediately and a stunning smile appeared on her perfect face, but Ron didn't even flinch; he just looked at her quite uninterestedly through his sunglasses.
"Yeah, that's supposed to be me" he said with his indifferent voice, just wanting to go back to his loneliness; even though he was glad whenever he saw fans, this time he just didn't desire to lay his eyes on anyone, just as simple as that. The lady before him giggled too girly and she showed once again her perfect, pearly teeth. Ron sighed inaudibly and took off his sunglasses, fasten them on his head casually. "Do you want an autograph?" he asked rather tiredly and looked at her face quite impatiently, just wishing for signing quickly on a scrap of paper and leaving. He saw her face shining instantly and heard her exclaiming her opinion with a too cheery 'yes!' Ron grabbed a pen from the inside pocket of his leather jacket and waited for her to give him a piece of paper, but with disappointment he saw that she was intently jacking around, allegedly looking for a note-pad in her purse.
"By the way, my name's Linda" the woman said slightly flirtatiously but Ron didn't seem to catch this particular tone of hers.
"Glad to meet you, Linda." he said still quite indifferently, his mind actually not thinking of the answers he was giving; he was just pressed the 'play' button on himself, speaking out words he always said when he only yearned to seem kind during processes he wanted to escape from. He casted once again his eyes on Linda seeing a sly smile on her face and a weird glow in her eyes- he just exhaled somewhat impatiently.
"I'm really glad to me you too, Ron…" she said, again with this playful tone in her voice that this time the redhead managed to notice. He once more raised his look so he'd peer at her face rather curiously, yet knowingly as well; oh, how much didn't he want to be in such situations…
"You know, I don't have a problem to get to know you better… we could go and have some drinks, have some more… private fun…" she continued then, her voice full of desire to seduce and Ron imaginary rolled his eyes in his head, quite disgusted by her straight-forwardness.
"You know, I'm not actually fond of one-night stands" he said rather seriously with his quite emotionless tone, while looking in her emerald eyes piercingly, trying with tired spirits to make his point clear to her. With slight exasperation, he noticed that her smile didn't fade even a bit.
"I don't mind at all… I can be your girlfriend with very much delight… I can assure you that you won't be disappointed…" she whispered the last part very seductively, looking into his crystal blue eyes slyly, making Ron slightly shiver from her so despiteful openness.
"Well, for your information, I mind pretty much about it; I don't like being with a woman who's with me only for my fame and my money, but thanks for your offer!" Ron said with a low voice that held significance, coldness and a trace of sarcasm at the end, making the woman frown angrily with his words.
"Well, you think you're important, don't you?" she started angrily and Ron just rolled his eyes, wearing his glasses once again and after waving at her with a smirk on his face, he made his departure. "Fuck off, Weasley! Fuck you and all your damn fame, you cocky-head sucker- you're ruined and you don't even know it!"
Ron heard her words clearly as he was leaving and with sadness noticed that they stabbed him more than he wanted to believe, but he just shrugged it off, comforting himself with the thought that he soon would be back to his comfy house, doing whatever he craved to. He reached his car after a couple of minutes and quickly entered it, starting his way home.
As he was driving calmly- driving was always a procedure that made him relax in an inexplicable, yet welcoming, way- he thought about the incident with that bitchy woman he'd found outside the building Tyler's office was in. His mind entrapped into some words that were said between them and suddenly he wasn't able to set free from them.
'…girlfriend…'
This one word was able to sink him in already known feelings that he had managed once to push away from him, because they were painful; but now, he once more had to endure these torturous thoughts until they would be a complete mess in his numb brain and wouldn't be able to do him anything more, just like always.
Even his so famous career and the flashlights, Ron didn't ever had a relationship, neither did he want to get involved in things like one-night stands and such, so he could have fun. He could admit it openly to himself that he was still a virgin, even though no one else would believe that mere fact for even a second, but it still was solid truth: in all these years of being a star- and even before that, really- he never really got enchanted by any woman he ever saw, not even attracted; his mind wasn't actually at getting a girlfriend so he could have one and show her off, let alone that in each one of them he would find something repulsive or unattractive. For his reasoning, some close people of his would ask him if he really was gay and he was only trying to hide it, but his answer would be still the same: he just couldn't find logical or alluring the thought of homosexuality and him together, it was as abhorrent for him as sleeping with a different woman every single night (though he had accepted fairly well and understood the need of some people being homosexuals).
Without realizing, he was inside his huge house, the lights still turned off, only faint moonlight and dim shadows were washing him, and he took off his jacket and blouse, letting his pale skin exposed to the cool air that embraced him setting-freely. He inhaled deeply and let his head hung backwards, like he was looking towards the ceiling with his sealed-off eyes, thinking of his unobtainable dreams he knew he would never be able to grasp, just because of his now ruined life. He gradually opened his eyes and after raising his head, he looked at the coffee table, where one of the few photographs in the house could be seen. He saw the four people in it, all beaming happily. He sighed and took some steps closer to it, his eyes never leaving the sight of the four joyous people. Delight wasn't able to be hidden, he finally noticed with a combination of awe and bitterness in him. 'And so is sorrow…' he continued in his head and heaved another sigh.
The photo of the Weasleys was still facing him, showing him inevitable evidence that every single day in his new life was a catastrophe, a total, tangled mess he couldn't even comprehend.
They were a happy family once, all together, helping and supporting each other till the very end. Arthur, Molly, Ron and Ginny Weasley: a small family, yet a family that could give only pureness and love between its members. But he was the one to start abusing the so necessary, precious bonds between them.
He started his career as a singer, making all of his family so proud of him; he was pleased to manage such thing. But as the years passed, he steadily grew distant, without even realizing. But they were all still proud of him. Then he started to make his mistakes, yet his family was still there, but now he was slightly pushing them away, not daring to face them after failure. His sister then followed as well her dream, being a volleyball player. He wasn't even once there for her, even though she was always there… She soon became a star and she went to USA, being member of one of the best teams in the world. He still wasn't there… He'd thought that he was too much of a disappointment to even face the only people that seemed to care about him…
He finally was able to understand what was going on when his father suddenly died, three years ago. At the funeral, he saw his mother and sister after months, or even years, and then realized what he'd been missing all this time. He, even these days, was blaming himself for his father's death, or at least for the fact that he hadn't given the opportunity to himself to talk to his father one last time before death could tear them apart once and for all… He exhaled all his soul out as his eyes started to become slightly wetter.
After his father's death, his mother moved to America, living with Ginny, unable to live on her own as grieve was still so much apparent. Ron lost almost any contact with them now, only visiting at holidays and calling them at their birthdays and such, the contact, from his part, awkward and quite strange.
But the biggest surprise and most powerful confirmation that he was so far away from them, was when his baby sister got married to a famous footballer there, and he finally realized that he was the only one staying practically still in stagnant waters, forcing himself be a stranger to his own family, a family he had the credit of tearing apart. Then he lastly realized that he was quite jealous of what they had and he had pushed away once, and that he also wanted that… So since that very same day, his hopeless dream was only one, one that he would give anything to just savour it with his thirsty being…
Making a family of his own… Finding and building once again the love he had once thought that it would be useless to his rich, famous existence… Paying a tangible tribute to what utter bliss and full completion means…
He closed his eyes regretfully and inhaled, the force in his mere action made his nostrils burn, but he didn't mind it- he only looked at the four happy people in the photo with a sad look. And then he remembered it…
He pushed aside any sort of bitterness and distress for later, as he eagerly took the phone in his hands and started to press buttons quickly, his heartbeat quickened its pace in anticipation as he held his breath and let his ear hear to the known 'beeps' of the calling… One… Two… Three…
"Hello?" he heard the recognizable, manly voice and smiled softly to himself; he was at least happy for them…
"Hi, Harry, it's Ron" he said softly and instantly heard an unconstrained laugh from the other end of the line.
"Oh, hi Ron, it's so good to hear you, mate!" Harry told him eagerly and the redhead laughed lightly, feeling slightly better inside.
"It's nice to hear you too, buddy…" Ron replied more relaxed, as he felt his chest quite lighter. "So, how's soccer, man?" he told with interest in his tone, trying to keep himself from frowning at the word 'soccer'.
"Like usual, you know; kicking and falling- they haven't changed much since the last time you watched…" he said teasingly and both laughed for a moment, making Ron instantly feeling less intense inside him.
"I'm glad to hear that…" he replied gently, his mind now back to the reason he had called in the first place. "Err… Harry, is by any chance Ginny there? I'd like to wish her for her birthday…"
"Of course she's here, just let me call her" Harry replied gladly and Ron half-smiled to himself, thanking the man on the inside for his good nature and warm heart.
"Thanks Harry" he said softly and waited for another voice to be heard, so his guilt would be tamed a bit and his soul would be at some sort of ease for a little while.
"Hello?" he finally heard her voice and a bright smile appeared on his pale face as his heart swell like it hadn't for months.
"Happy birthday, little Gin" he said gently, his voice held a tint of sweetness and pride for his sister he didn't adopt much. He instantly heard a squeal and he laughed gently for a brief moment.
"Oh, thank you so much, Ron!" he heard her exclaiming happily and he felt even better than he was hoping to; how was he able to underestimate something as valuable as love?
"You're welcome, Ginny; I've just thought to give a call and wish you…" he said sincerely and for a short moment, he thought about his previous sad moments; he quickly pushed aside the mere thought and assure himself that after this call he'd give it its moment of glory, but now he just needed to speak to his sister.
"I'm so happy you decided to call!" she said with her cheery voice and Ron, even though his scanty gladness, he felt a small knife stabbing his heart a bit. '…decided…'. "So, how are you, Ronnie boy?"
Ron managed to pull himself out from the guilty feelings and the soreness as he replied. "I'm ok, I guess… Get stuck with work and such… you know, the usual…" he tried to make his voice seem casual, but for some reason, it cracked in the end. A very mature silence engulfed them for some moments and Ron just wanted to die for making the happiest day of his sister get ruined just by a bloody cracking.
"I heard your new CD…" Ginny finally said and Ron felt vaguely surprised by her words, even though he wasn't entirely sure as if he liked it.
"Oh really?" he asked gently and with false interest in his voice "And… And how did you find it?" he asked unsurely, his face getting hot as he bit his lip.
"Well… I want to be honest with you, Ron… I didn't like it very much…" she said in a sincere, yet downright apologetic voice, but the feelings weren't comforted at all by the tone; he felt himself fell, fell somewhere unknown and cold, as truth was out now, making his every doubt and suspension true…
"But as I was hearing all these songs, I also heard a pretty good one, too, bro" he heard her then, making him a bit more infrangible to pain. "It's called 'A Dream Like You'"
Ron exhaled softly and smiled a bit sadly to himself. "Do you really like that one? 'Cause I wrote it…" he said softly. He was quite sure he had heard her smile.
"Really? I didn't know that! It's just brilliant, Ron, well done!" Ginny exclaimed enthusiastically and her big brother felt his heart slightly lighter.
"Thank you, Gin; well, actually I got inspired by—" he started rather eagerly, but he trailed off instantly the second he realized what he was about to say. He felt the nape of his neck getting really hot and he gulped as his eyes closed firmly for a moment, while he forced bitter thoughts to get momentarily out of his head. "…never mind that…" he muttered rather bitterly to his sister after a long moment.
"Err…. Ok…" she said rather unsurely and Ron felt sorry for her, as his oddness made everyone feel uncomfortable, so she was no exception.
"How's mum?" Ron finally asked after another, rather long silence between the siblings. His stomach clenched rather uneasily, as both knew that this subject was rather delicate, especially for Ron to talk about; that was actually the reason why his voice was so unsure and small at the moment. He grabbed the phone unconsciously with both of his palms, as he was waiting for an answer.
"She's fine, really well" Ginny said casually and Ron was quite sure that she had caught the tone of his voice, yet she didn't mention it. "Especially now that we—"
"What? What happened, sis?" Ron said before his sister had the opportunity to complete her sentence, his tone quite curious and filled with some anticipation.
"Well, actually I wanted to tell you this on person, but now it seems that I have to tell you by phone, I guess…" she said a bit more seriously this time and Ron felt his ribs currently being kicked by his crazy heart, who had adopted a brisker rhythm now.
"What is it, Ginny?" he said hurriedly, some anxiousness in his voice, even though he couldn't really place it.
"Well… I'm pregnant!" he heard her saying blissfully, her bright smile and the warmth of her voice were even tangible. Yet, he wasn't able to feel any, as his eyes were almost out of their pale sockets, his breath was suddenly lost, as well as his balance, so he clutched the edge of the table in front of him; his brain wasn't quite able to do a thing more than being entrapped by the one word:
"…pregnant…" he barely whispered, his voice somewhat husky, like what a nearly-dead one's would be.
"Yes, pregnant!" she exclaimed once more, probably falsely taking his particular tone as inability to comprehend such news. "Isn't it wonderful?"
Ron swallowed hard and inhaled shakily, trying to suppress the sentiments a bit longer, when he would be able to fully face them. "Wonderful… Con-Congratulations, Ginny… I'm happy for you… I'm really happy…" he said sincerely, his voice holding such emotion as his eyes weren't anymore able to hold the burning, liquid substance that was drowning in his sockets.
"Thanks, Ron, so very much…" she said sweetly to him and after a brief second of hesitation, he heard her voice again: "We all are happy for you, too…"
Ron wanted now either to laugh or scream; he didn't know which one would prevail over the other if he left him all set loose- a thing he didn't. He just decided not to comment on that.
"I… I miss you all, Ginny…" he finally whispered to her, saying the words his soul wanted so much to finally admit. "I really miss you so much…"
"We miss you too, Ron. You probably don't believe me, because you think that this outcome is your fault, but really it's not…" Ron heard her whispers and his grasp on the table became stronger absentmindedly- how could he ever believe her that this wasn't his fault?
"Give… Give mum my love, Ginny…" he said quite desperately as his heart was suddenly on fire- a torturous one. He knew that he hadn't much time, so he had to finish this. "Kiss her for me, please Ginny…"
"Of course I will, Ron; there's no need to ask…" Ginny said rather seriously but Ron didn't actually hear her.
"Tell her… Tell her I'm so terribly sorry… for everything…" he said quite breathlessly, his voice almost a gasp- he wasn't able to hold himself any more.
"Ron, please don't—"
"I have to hung up, Ginny; I- I just can't…" he cut her off and after saying his quite meaningless words, he did as said, estranging himself once again, but this time for a reason.
His mind was wrapped around one single word, which actually held an entire prospect, a whole world with it, since the moment he heard it coming out of his sister's lips:
Pregnant…
His arms started to shake rather violently and his tears were staining his handsome face constantly as his mind and spirit were trying to value the word poorly, even though he actually knew how worthy it was.
His little sister was about to have a child, already raising her own, happy family, while he was in nowhere, only trying to endure himself. He couldn't believe that she would expect a baby in some months, while he still hadn't found the love of his life, a valuable motivation to live…
Why God hadn't blessed him with such a great gift yet?
With his dragging feet, he somehow managed to go to the toilet, so he could find his weed; he wanted to dream…
He cried and softly sobbed as he felt his soul full of despair and surrender- every worthless moment of his life showed him that his only true dream would never become a reality; everyone seemed to have found their destiny, their pure love and happiness, while he was steadily dragging himself to his own catastrophe, to his own, made-up abyss…
His palms were now on his head, pressing it forcefully, as his eyes sealed off firmly, his tears coursing down his face miserably. He gasped for breath while he was gasping for a real life.
When he was a little more able to make his hands steadier, he took the weed from the cabinet, then he leaned his weak body on the cold wall and then he dragged his back down, until his thighs hit the marble quite ungracefully. With stung, wet eyes, he quickly made a cig and put it on his dry, pale lips, a lighter already on its way up there. He had some so-called precious drags on his cigarette and closed his eyes weakly, his head falling back to meet the coolness of the solid substance there. The so-known-to-him fog surrounded his brain easily and the man just let himself lost in the senses, knowing what it was about to follow, this same thing that he just craved to see every time his lips made contact with drugs. It would be there any moment now…
Hahaha
There it was… The precious voice… The needed sounds… He sipped some more, his being only in search of more.
'Daddy! I'm here daddy!'
A soft, hesitant smile appeared on his tear-stained face, the expression no more hurt and stressful, but light and happy; the small phantom of his unreachable dream already there, to lull him temporarily into inadequate peacefulness.
'Where are my little ones?'
'Here, Daddy, why can't you see us?' he heard the melodic voice of a little boy; he instantly started to run in a huge garden, with a bright smile all over his face. He then found two little children hiding behind the trunk of a tree. He jumped in front of them and encircled them with his long, strong arms. Both children squealed happily and looked with a look full of adoration at the man, making him as a result feel balm inside him.
"You found us again!" a little girl with reddish-golden curls said, her tone seemed like he was nagging him, even though a smile with a few missing teeth appeared on the little face; the older red-haired chuckled gladly.
"It's daddy's job to always find you, isn't it, flower?" he said sweetly, stroking the girl's rosy cheek with his large palm; the girl giggled and his heart yelped.
"I love you, daddy" he then heard the lovely voice of his baby girl and he smiled gently at her, rubbing her soft hair dearly.
"I loved him first!" the little boy said quite defensively to his sister, glaring at her for a moment. Ron just laughed gently at the cute sight before him.
"Daddy loves you both so much; there's just plenty of love for both of you" he said softly, kissing both of their foreheads protectively and lovingly.
"Any love left for me?"
The man turned his head around, looking at the person standing some meters away from them, and he smiled even wider, his crystal blue eyes shining amorously.
"Of course there is; always a big part left just for you…" he said softly and stood up from his kneeling position, slowly approaching the woman while happy 'Mummy! Mummy!'-s could be heard easily, making the atmosphere even lovelier. He stood before her and placed his arms gently around her waist, looking into her beautiful eyes faithfully. She smiled up to him fondly.
"Came here to join us?" he asked with his soft voice, an innocent tone in it. The woman laughed gently and cupped his cheek with her soft, warm palm, a beautiful, golden wedding band on her finger.
"Well, why should I waste my time inside, when I can have fun here with all of you?" she said with a constant, intoxicating smile on her beautiful face; around them, the two enthusiastic children were running up and down, like they were dancing a crazy dance in circles, the centre of which was the happy couple.
"Good thinking…" he said rather teasingly and raised his one eyebrow with emphasis, a cute, lop-sided grin on his red lips; as a result, his wife laughed freely. The man stared for a moment at her and then back to his children, his eyes bright and full of adoration.
"Cuties, can you go to the swing? Mummy and daddy will be there in a minute so we can have fun all together" he said with an excited voice, making his children thrilled. Both of them squealed happily and started to run towards the other side of the enormous garden. Two sets of eyes followed them for a moment before loyally return looking back to each other.
"Did I ever told you what a fantastic father you are?" she whispered softly up to him and stroked his cheekbone like a feather; he smiled warmly down to her.
"And you are a wonderful mummy and perfect wife…" he whispered lightly to her, getting lost in all her appearance like it was nothing. "I love you…"
"Oh, but I love you too…" she whispered gently after giggling softly for a moment and they leaned closer to each other, easily meeting each other's lips in a sweet, caring kiss.
He instantly felt his stomach warmer than usual, his whole body and mind under her thumb- what a little charmer, indeed… His charmer…
A young man was still curled on the floor of the big bathroom, the surroundings dark and cool; in his hopeful heart, though, light had been emerged now, life had once again gained its true meaning, even momentarily. The tiny smile was still apparent on his ghostly white face, and with eyes almost closed, a heartbreaking, yet downhearted, slightly cracked voice suddenly broke the heavy, nearly solid silence.
'Please, lull me into the night,
until the dawn bring once again the light…
Please, just let me hear your soothing voice
not letting my ears listen to any other noise…
…I love you, my dearest blossom…' he sang softly, while some hot droplets were escaping from between his eyelids, and the man, without realizing, fell into a serene slumber…
…
(Some months later)
Ron was walking down the street rather hurriedly; his head still rather unfocused after some gorgeous moments of temporary forgetfulness he chose to give away to himself.
He was going to meet Tyler, along with a woman singer he wasn't able to remember her name, with who he was going to have a duet. Of course the appointment supposed to be half an hour ago, but he gave priority over his own minute happiness rather than losing it just for being punctual- they could just wait if they so truly wanted to work on this. He walked with his eyes casted on the road, his mind completely elsewhere, when he, out of the blue, ran into someone, making both of them almost losing their balance. He heard a soft gasp and he was about to tell this someone to be more careful, but he actually didn't have the chance- the other person spoke first.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!"
He looked up right away, his tired eyes widened unconsciously. He instantly fell in love with that voice, even though he was said it was his that made people fell in love. He nearly doubted that now…
Before him, there was a woman… a pretty woman, to be exact… His heart skipped a beat and then accelerated, the sight too perfect for his system to endure.
She looked up as well, her bright, dark eyes the most brilliant picture- he would easily get lost in them.
"Hi" he said gently, his eyes never leaving her from their visibility range; she half-smiled and he thought he heard his heart yelping.
"Hi…" Oh, that angelic voice again… "Do-Do I know you from somewhere? You seem strangely familiar…" she asked somewhat curiously.
"Maybe… Maybe we are lost souls from past lives, finally meeting each other during this one…" he whispered actually unconsciously. She laughed kindly and he inhaled quite deeply, so he won't faint from the overwhelming signals his weak, yet hyperactive now senses were sending to him.
"How poetic indeed!" the beautiful woman admired lightly and looked at him with interest, making him feel special probably for the first time in his entire life. He smiled down at her- a true smile.
"Thank you, but you should probably consider that you managed to wake the muse in me…"
She laughed again and blushed a bit and he unexpectedly felt utter peace inside him- it was magical. His universe seemed to recover after long years of loss and self-destroying in just a brief moment, but Ron was now sure that his world was trying to put the loose pieces together, making him whole, human again.
"What's your name?" he asked softly, his eyes- only flawed now by the dark half-moons under them, caused by torturous insomnia and drug use- shining handsomely once again after years of darkness.
"I'm Hermione Granger- and you?"
"I'm Ronald…" he said kindly and a soft, genuine smile appeared on his face, making him an angelic creature once again.
There was still hope, after all…
~.~
-Well, I just couldn't help it about putting this one little moment in the end- even I couldn't bear a so lost Ron being helpless and ruined for the rest of his life...
-Oh, I just REALLY, REALLY hope you all like this fic, and also, I would really, REALLY like to see some REVIEWS! That would be just wonderful!
-And thanks for reading this one-shot. Until the next time, pals... Kisses. xxx :)