Safe and Sound
I remember tears streaming down your face, Just close your eyes,
When I said I'll never let you go.
When all those shadows almost killed your light,
I remember you said don't leave me here alone,
But all that's dead and gone and past tonight.
The sun is going down.
You'll be all right,
No one can hurt you now.
Come morning light,
You and I'll be safe and sound.
Hold on to this lullaby.
Even when the music's gone,
Gone…
Safe & Sound - Taylor Swift
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Dean was walking through the hospital hallway where his brother was in. He had been sitting right next to him, waiting for the results that knew were going to be bad. When the doctor came, he told him that his little brother was in a deep coma, and most likely, he was not going to wake up. His organs were failing, and he couldn't breathe for his own.
Dean wanted to break everything, to yell, to cry. However, he wouldn't do any of those things. He had to be strong, because Sam was freaking DYING right there in front of him, and he was as helpless as he could be.
While walking to buy some needed coffee, his brother's words were resonating inside his head, making him remember the last moments that his brother was lucid enough to talk about everything that both opted to ignore. Why did this have to get that far for them to talk about how many painful thoughts his brother had been having for years, or how Dean really felt even being angry with him? He couldn't believe that Sammy thought about the idea that there could be a person that was more important than him. He wouldn't deny it, Sam and him had made mistakes, big mistakes. When Sam freed the devil, he was pissed as hell, and during those months that he was away, covered the loneliness behind the smile and the long hunting trips, trying to convince himself that he didn't need Sam in his life. But the reality was that, he was the person that he loved the most in the entire planet.
A world without Sam would only be a really vivid nightmare, where he wouldn't be able to wake up or have the strength to keep fighting.
He'd never tell this to Sam, but the quote " You're oxygen, and I am dying to breath", always made him think about his brother.
"You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can't do that again"
"What happens when you've decided I can't be trusted again? I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another vampire?"
Dean kicked an empty chair that was next to him as Sam's words felt AGAIN like a punch to the gut, causing some people to look at him with worried and scared eyes. Moments later, some of them just smiled sadly as they figured out that he probably had someone that he loved was hurt, and that his way to express himself.
Dean didn't really care about anything else than his brother, and the worst part that was he didn't want to go there to watch his chest rise up because a machine was doing the work for him, the only keeping him alive. He should have been the one to do the trials, and he knew how stupid he had been when he let Sam do them. What the hell was he thinking?!
Taking his cup of coffee he got up from the chair and walked towards his sibling's hospital room, forcing himself to keep all the apologies that needed to be said, and not to an unconscious Sam. He needed Sam to wake up. He'd do everything for him to get his ass out that bed with white sheets and take off those scary machines connected to his body.
When he was near the room, he heard people screaming
"There's no pulse! We're losing him doctor!"
"Still no pulse"
He followed the voices, and to keep breaking his already broken heart, those voices were coming from Sammy's room. Doctors and nurses were practicing CPR on him, and moments later a Defibrillator was being used. Sam's body jerked when the object made contact with his chest, but he could see that he still had no pulse. Tears started sliding down his face as his worst fear was happening again. Sammy could not survive this, and now he was starting to understand how bad his brother's condition was.
After a minute of holding his breath standing in the door frame, he could finally take a deep breath when he heard the most beautiful words
"We got him back"
He didn't know when he passed out, but when he opened his eyes saw the white ceiling and remembered everything that had happened. Everything his eyes were seeing was blurry, and he felt like his head was about to explode.
- Calm down sir. You passed out and hit your head pretty hard. I'm afraid that you have a concussion. I would recommend you to lay down and let us take care of you - said a brunette and green eyed female with a doctors coat
- My… My brother. I need to see him - he said while sitting, feeling like he was in a freaking turntable
- He's stable mister Johnson. Please stay here. Once you get better you can go see your brother, I'll make sure of that - said the doctor worried
He got up ignoring the advice that the woman gave him and walked towards his brother's room. He got the wrong hallway two times, but finally when he found him saw that his brother's skin was pale as a ghost, and limp limbs.
- Sammy - he said - I'm here little brother. I'm sorry. I should be the one suffering, not you. Please don't leave me Sam. We just started to be brothers again after all the crap that we've been through. I won't let you do this. You have to listen to your big brother and keep fighting, okay buddy? - said Dean now crying
He expected Sam to open his eyes, or even laugh because he was officially starting a "Chick-Flick" moment, but that never happened. The silence filled the room as his anxiety was growing by the minute. He had to do something. If Sam's heart would stop, he knew that wouldn't start beating again, and he was not ready to bury another family member. If Sam would die, he was going to be alone, and the world's a big and scary place when someone's on his own.
A part of him started to think what he was going to do alone, but as fast as that idea appeared, it was gone. Being a Winchester meant that you always found a solution, always fought. Dean was going to find a way to have Sammy back, but for now he was going to sit right next to him, looking at his broken brother.
- Hang on Sammy. Big brother's gonna get you out of this one, alright? Just keep breathing for me lil bro - said before he passed his hands through his short hair and turned on the TV.
He saw the big title that said "world meteor shower".
He exhaled and covered his face with his hands. Cass was gone doing whatever he was doing clearly not listening to his prayers, and Sam was dying. What the hell was he going to do now?