Hidan: this does NOT look like the studio, man. did you get the wrong directions?!
Kakuzu: i thought we agreed that we wouldn't blame me if those hobos gave us the wrong directions?!
Hidan: i'm not blaming, i'm asking...and i'd say were pretty fucking lost! somebody needs to call the Fags that run this joint!
our friends happen upon a strange mofo celebrity known as Madonna as the continue their quest for ''The Studio''
Kakuzu: oh, this is fantastical! just what we need, another hobo! (note the sarcasm)
Hidan: oh for the love of, sigh you have said that to the last 3 and 1/2 people we've met! that's impolite! lady, can you please tell us how to get out of here and to American Idol?
Madonna: it'll cost you $72.65.
Kakuzu: BOOYAH! who's wrong now?! i told you she was a hobo!
Hidan: oh, will you shut the fuck up? she's not a hobo, she's just trying to cheat us! i can't afford that! do i look like mikal jaxon to you?! NO! i have better hair!
Madonna: fine...first you call me a hobo! that was rude, but now this?! you're such men! you losers are in deep shit now! i've been sent here to stop you in the name of THE MUFFIN MAN!!!1!!! now...DIE! (throws bomb)
Bomb: yo! im a bomb! ph33r m3h, t3h l337 h4x0rZ!
(boom)
Kakuzu: God Damn!
Hidan: holy shit, she's CRAZY!
Madonna: shut up, mofoz! my feeble mind can not understand why that bomb didn't kill you! but, you will never reach your destination as long as i'm in this story!
Hidan: Jashin, bitch! were just trying to fucking get directions! will you calm down?
Kakuzu: Retard! didn't you just hear her?! doesn't it concern you just a little that the muffin man wants us dead?! he doesn't even live in Japan! he must be pissed that he had to pay airline taxes for Madonna to kill us!
Hidan: WTF, dude! what the hell is an airline tax?!
Kakuzu: i don't know, i'm ranting, you mofo!
Madonna: HEY! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!!!!!! you're just doing this because i'm female, aren't you!?
Hidan: oh, for the love of Jashin! let me guess, your whole life you've used the ''because i'm a girl'' excuse! do we look like sexists to you?! NO! we just wanna get directions to the American Idol studio! so, in the name of the Lord, is that REALLY so much to ask?! NO! just tell us! And--
Kakuzu: STFU, Hidan! you're not Dane Cook! quit this pointless rant! it pains my ears!
Hidan: no, YOU STFU, i'm ranting here! Lady, you are a seriously crazed up fruit loop! and if you keep throwing talking bombs at us that think that they are t3h l337 h4x0rZ, then you are those star-shaped fruit loops that taste like processed shit! even those hobos that scare children at night were more helpful at giving directions then you are!
Kakuzu: Hidan! for the last time, those were NOT bad directions! and she's TRYING to kill us! NOW PAY ATTENTION TO THE HOOKER!
Hidan: i've already told you--
Madonna: OH, NOW YOU'VE DONE IT! grows MUAHAHA! WHAT NOW, BITCHES?!?!
Hidan: well, it looks like SOMEBODY missed nappy time...
Kakuzu: are you a natural blonde?! or were you just born retarded?!
Hidan: IT'S NOT BLONDE!!!1!!!!! and this goes out to all you fanartists, if your going to draw me bad (like you already do) then at least give me the right hair color! it's not blonde, it's SILVER! and my eyes are PINK! not purple!
Kakuzu: what ever, but this is the LAST time we get directions from fungi-eating hobos! look at this mofo we have to kill!
Madonna: (starts throwing boulders and bombs and shit at Hidan and Kakuzu)
Hidan: okay, listen, we need to sit-down and have a SERIOUS talk about your attitude...
(large fire-demon cat goes flying at Hidan)
Hidan: Holy Crap! (dodges)
(very large series of big explosions)
Hidan: fucking shit! Madonna's lost it! damn fruit loops! this proves my theory that women posses the power to blow up the world! one second i'm trying to get directions to American Idol, and the next i'm battling to the death with a fruit-loop celebrity that possessed by a demon cat that's on FIRE! WTF did i do to deserve this, Jashin-sama?! first we get lost, and then we meet this whacked-out mofo!
Madonna: OH NO, YOU DI'ENT!
Hidan: (does his Jashin ritual morphy-thing) (stabs himself through the heart)
Madonna: FUCK! (dies)
Kakuzu: damn, wake up Hidan, it's not nap time yet!
Hidan: WTF!? YOUR ALIVE?! AND YOU LEAVE ME ALONE TO KILL THIS MOFO?! and i'm not sleeping, i'm performing a ritual!
Kakuzu: god, i leave for a few lines, and when i come back your lying asleep with a pike through your heart in a satanic circle!? no upside-down star pentagram?! no 666 on your forehead!? your hobbies are some fucked up shit, dude.
Hidan: i was NOT asleep, damn you! and do i mock YOUR religion?! i think NOT! stupid Catholics. and why would you leave me alone with this crazy chick when you know i'm not good with women?! it's like my senior prom all over again. WHY JASHIN-SAMA!? WHYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? how could you do that to me, Kakuzu!?
Kakuzu: i fucking got us a map! Texaco had a sale! and i also got a starbucks.
Hidan: kick ass! where's mine?!
Kakuzu: why should i waste my money on you?! and i didn't honestly expect you to live...
Hidan: YOU SUCK! go back and get me starbucks, right now!
Kakuzu: i'm not going back just for fucking starbucks!
Zetsu: for the love of Jack Sparrow--
Hidan and Kakuzu: CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow!
Zetsu: whatever, just get back to work! you're making me miss the previews for ''Hannible Rising'' oh, and thanks for the slushie, Kakuzu.
Hidan: WHAT?! you get a slushie for this creep, but you don't get me anything? you are SO not getting that Wii you wanted for your birthday.
Zetsu: damn, that's harsh man.
Hidan: he didn't get me starbucks!
Zetsu: HOLY CRAP! that was sarcasm. (leaves)
Kakuzu: for that, i'm not getting you that puppy you wanted for Christmas.
Hidan: you jack ass! you know i wanted that puppy! i was gonna name him Mr. Fluffyness! all this just for not getting your beloved partner some coffee!
Kakuzu: well, that's too damn bad! if i don't get my Nintendo Wii, then your not getting your puppy.
Hidan: dude, remember i'm the guy that killed Madonna inside of a ''satanic circle''. i will kill you if i have to, i've killed for less.
Kakuzu: you mean like you killed that entire staff from IHOP?
Dr.Spaz (me): ya'll both shut up. the files told you that this here chick was off her rocker...oh, god...you two were looking for American Idol again, weren't you?! that's like, two miles east, you retards.
Hidan: seriously?! Jashin, we SUCK!
Kakuzu:...shut up, Hidan.
At the American Idol Studio
Hidan: holy shit man, we DO suck...
Kakuzu: how the hell could we miss THIS?! it's HUGE! what if this is the wrong place? we've been fooled before...like when Itachi sent me to Costco saying it was church...oh, the horrible Labor Day prices...i was in rehab for a week...
Hidan and Kakuzu: (break down the door)
Inside
Monk#1: Sir! someone just broke down the door!
Outside
Hidan: damn! were fooled AGAIN! we were better off taking directions from those hobos!
Inside
Monk#1: sir, Monk#3 is watching Days Of Our Lives again! and two terrorists with pimp hats are here!
Outside
Hidan: who the hell is this old shit?! shouldn't you be watching Richard Simmons, or something?!
Kakuzu: watch it, Hidan! he might use that sash to build working paper grasshoppers that will drop nuclear war heads on us!
Hidan: WTF!? he's an old bald mofo! he can't do anything that awesome!
Monk#2: i am NOT an old bald mofo! and how dare you brainless idiots tresspass here! it is a holy place--DAMN, I'M MISSING DR.PHIL!
Hidan: dude, why does everyone like Dr.Phil?! he's just a female Oprah for Jashin's sake! all he does is talk about people having issues and needing therapy!
Kakuzu: what?! you mistake the magical powers of Dr.Phil! he has strange powers! he knows how to help you solve your problems! all Oprah does is get in your head and start hacking away with a fucking katana! she is an evil brain ninja!
Hidan: holy shit! you mean Dr. Phil is a HE and Oprah is a SHE?! when did that happen?!
Kakuzu: when the Pie-toe commanded it of them.
Hidan: what ever, Kakuzu, yo, old dude, can you tell us how to get to get to American Idol?
Monk: NEVER!
Hidan and Kakuzu: then DIE!!!!!
(insert big fighting scene here)
Kakuzu: wow, i feel kinda bad...we killed all these guys...and they were MONKS, after all...were definitely going to Hell for this...
Hidan: well, no shit you mofo! we've been hellbound ever since we blew up Wal-mart because they didn't have pancakes! Curse their pancakey goodness!
Dr.Spaz: wow, guys. now you've killed a temple full of monks. who's next? The staff of my middle school (preferably Ms. Garvin, the evil bitch)? Simon Cowl?
Hidan: why the fuck do you think were trying to get to the American Idol studio? to kill Cowl! and we didn't mean to kill them.
Dr.Spaz: oh, likely story. so you mean to say that you ACCIDENTALLY killed an entire temple full of monks?!
Hidan: yup, pretty much.
Dr.Spaz:...(leaves)
Kakuzu: great. now what?!
A/N: the Pie-toe is copyright of my friend Sammy. use it, and i'll come into your house at night and cut your fucking head off.
so, yeah...i'll probably make a new chappie when i get more inspiration...if you have any ideas, send them to me...and those overly religious people who took offense in this chapter: IT'S A JOKE. i'm not some satanist. i'm an atheist. and those of you who where up there wondering ''who the hell is Dane Cook'' need to get mauled by a Hidan-bunny.
and those of you who may attend Arbor Creek Middle School, would most likely believe me when i say that Ms. Garvin is and evil bitch that need sto rot in hell.
flame me if you want, i could seriosly care less.