Prefect Oddities
A Harry Potter fanfic by: Steve Jester
AN: Yes, this is a one shot. I'm stuck a bit on Royal Prerogative, so I'm writing up a few challenges. This one is an interesting one put forth by Writing2StayHalfSane involving a boy who finds a girl's bra. I had to pick a quote or two to work in as well; I'll tell you what those quotes were at the end. This is sorta AU, set in sixth year. As usual, I own nothing.
---
Ahh springtime, the time of year where the freedom of summer is around the corner, the hustle and bustle of exams fills the halls, and the hormone level of your average teenager goes through the roof. The stage for many a rendezvous happens to be the Astronomy Tower, mainly as it's rarely used outside of class at midnight during the week. One fine Saturday evening our heroes: Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione were sitting in the Gryffindor common room. Hermione and Ginny were being overall diligent students and studying various subjects for the upcoming exams while Harry was catching up on a hobby of his, losing to Ron in wizard's chess. Suddenly, the petite redhead stretched up yawning, "Well, I'm ready for bed."
"Already, Ginny?" admonished Hermione, "I thought you said you going to seriously study."
"I can't when I'm about to fall asleep onto my books," Ginny said as she packed up her books. She cast a quick glance at Harry, a slight twinkle in her eye, "Besides, we're going to hit the library tomorrow aren't we?"
Hermione nodded apprehensively, "Yea, but you shouldn't just get up and leave when you said you'd study."
"Sorry Hermione, but I'm exhausted." With that and a final glance at Harry she went up to her room.
Hermione fumed foe a bit before returning to her studies, Ron on the other hand turned to his spectacled opponent and said, "What's with her? She was looking at you funny."
Harry put on a look of confusion, "I have no idea what you could mean by that." A few seconds later, Ron's bishop mated Harry's king and Harry just sighed, "Well that was fun. I think I'll follow your sister's lead Ron."
Hermione let out an annoyed sigh but said nothing. Ron on the other hand: "What? Why now?! I thought you were going to wait up for me and Hermione to get done with rounds!"
Harry just shrugged, "I'll see you tomorrow then." Then he head up the stairs.
"Ugghh, what's with those two?!" Ron said shaking his head.
"Well, unfortunately for us, we have responsibility to attend to," Hermione said grabbing Ron by the shoulder.
Ron sighed before saying, "I guess it's too late to find Ernie and Hannah so we can switch now is it?"
Hermione nodded as she dragged the unwilling redhead out the common room door. "But I don't wanna go!!" Ron wailed at the top of his lungs.
"Oh for Merlin's sake! Keep your voice down!"
---
Later that night, near eleven o'clock, the infamous Astronomy Tower received its first visitor of the evening in the form of an invisible cloaked figure. The figure pulled off his cloak revealing a disheveled Harry Potter who checked his watch and sighed. "Where is that girl?"
Just then another figure crept up the stairs very silently; so silently that normal people couldn't hear her. Harry Potter wasn't a normal person. When the figure reached the top of the stairs finding the seemingly empty Astronomy Tower, Harry came out of the shadows and hugged the figure from behind. The hood of the cloak fell revealing long red hair and a content smile on Ginny Weasley's face. "Why who's strong arms would these be?"
Harry took this moment to turn the thin girl around and look deep into her chocolate eyes. "The same person who's going to snog you silly," Harry said before leaning in for a passionate kiss that Ginny was all too happy to return. Yep, this is the perfect place to cut away.
---
Meanwhile, the fateful duo of Ron and Hermione walked up to the entrance to the Astronomy Tower. "I swear Ron, one day I'm going to get you to accept responsibility and willingly come along on these patrols with me."
"Ahh, but Hermione if I were to just accept responsibility and go with the flow I wouldn't be going willingly; I'd still be forced to go with you, I just wouldn't be complaining."
Hermione stopped dead in her tracks and looked incredulously at Ron. Ron shrugged and shook his head, "Yea, I don't know where that came from either."
Suddenly a feminine moan from the spiral staircase leading to the top of the tower gained both teens attention. "Sounds like someone's getting frisky up there," Ron said with a lecherous smirk.
A rather perturbed Hermione sighed loudly, "Go check on it, and be sure to make your presence known. We may be catching them quite literally with their pants down."
Ron's mind went into the gutter before he called up to the tower, "Ok you two, I'm a prefect and I'm coming up there. Please make yourselves decent before I get there."
---
"—make yourselves decent before I get there," Harry and Ginny heard as they broke from a rather involved kiss. Hurriedly they straightened themselves up and went to their usual hiding spot, the rafters to wait out the prefect.
"We really need to find a better time for this," Harry whispered as they settled down in the shadows.
"I live with Fred and George. I'm used to this kind of thing," Ginny said with a smirk.
"Random interruptions?" Harry said raising an eyebrow.
"We don't need to get into this now," Ginny said blushing as she pointed to the steps, a beam of light shining against the wall.
Just then Ron appeared at the top of the steps, looking around. "I know you're here somewhere. Just show yourselves and I won't be too harsh."
"Bloody hell, it's Ron!" Harry whispered harshly.
"You know, with all our whispering you'd think he'd get a clue and look up here," Ginny said nonchalantly.
"Ohh Ginny! You know I just love lampshades!" Harry said clasping his hands together in a very exaggerated manner.
"Oh for Merlin's sake! Keep your voice down!"
Meanwhile Ron moved closer to the balcony and as he did he noticed something rather peculiar. "Oh dear god, please tell me he didn't find it," Ginny whispered dejectedly.
"Find what?" Harry asked curiously.
"Well," Ginny said, her blush going up to the roots of her hair, "In our rush to get decent I, ummm, couldn't find my bra."
"You mean the bra that Ron just happened to pick up?" Harry whispered pointing at the aforementioned redhead.
Ginny groaned as she noticed her brother pick up the loose bra. "Yes, that one."
Ron, meanwhile, was intrigued by the piece of fabric in his hands. He knew what it was because he'd seen them in Ginny's laundry before. However this was the first time he'd seen one close enough to touch one. The thought that this might be Ginny's didn't even cross his mind. Though he did notice it was for someone say not as busty as Lavender. He decided it might be one of the Patil twins or another smaller girl.
Harry watched with disgust as Ron felt the cotton undergarment. "Sorry Ginny, but watching your brother fondle your underwear is not easy on the stomach."
"If he even thinks it's another girl's, I'm going to be angry," Ginny said right before her brother pocketed the garment and turned around, heading towards the stairs. "Ohh I'm going to kill him!"
"Not now dear," Harry said smirking, "Now we wait to see if Hermione follows, then we finish up here."
Ginny's eyes went wide before smirking, "I like that plan."
---
Hermione stood at the bottom of the stairs arms crossed and toes tapping waiting for her wayward partner. When Ron finally came back down she sighed before asking, "Did you find anything suspicious?"
Ron reflexively reached for his side before saying evenly, "No comment."
Hermione raised an eyebrow before saying, "Really? 'No comment'?"
"That's my story and I'm sticking to it," Ron said defiantly.
Hermione let loose a sigh of annoyance before tuning up the stairs, "I'll just double check then."
Ron shrugged as the bushy haired brunette stormed up the stairs. It only took about a minute before she came back down, "Well, it was either Peeves or the culprits took off, either way we're done here."
Ron shook his head, "And you thought I didn't do my job."
As the duo walked away Hermione started in on Ron, "Well can you blame me? It's not like—"
---
A short time later a passing, unnamed teacher remarked to himself on how Peeves was certainly raising a lot of racket, and how he certainly was expressing his feminine side this evening. Said teacher promptly decided that giving Ginny and Harry O's on their latest assignment was also the most appropriate course for the evening, despite hating Harry's guts so and had a sort of fondness for Ginny that could only be described as misplaced unrequited love for someone long dead. Right, moving on now.
---
The next day, a bright glorious Sunday, Harry Potter returned to the dormitory all bright eyed and chipper. Right before sliding back into his bed and, thus, establishing his alibi he noticed the infamous bra from last night's fiasco. Said bra was precariously laid on his redheaded roommate's nightstand. "Why is there a cornucopia shaped object on the night table?" he asked himself sarcastically. Pretending to think for a second he then muttered chuckling, "No, no. That's too obvious." Daringly he filched the offending undergarment and hid it under his mattress before sliding into his bed.
A few minutes later the alarm clock of one Ron Weasley blared throughout the room. Ron smashed it with the strength of many late risers before rolling over and sitting up, stretching to wake up. He turned to the nightstand and noticed his treasure was missing. Looking around the room he noticed that all of his roommates were surprisingly still asleep. Still, he proceeded to wake them up one by one. Neville didn't have a clue. Dean, having noticed it late last night and knowing who it belonged to, said he didn't take it and didn't know where it was but kept to whom it belonged to himself, not only for his sake but for Ginny and Harry's sake too. Seamus told him to go fuck himself and let him sleep. That left only one.
Harry meanwhile formulated his response carefully and just before Ron got to his bed he got up and pretended to just be waking up, "Unnnnhhh, what's with all the commotion mates?" Harry said.
Ron started to open his mouth but Neville beat him to the punch, "Ron found a girl's bra on patrol last night and can't find it."
Harry curiously raised an eyebrow, internally smirking as he noticed Dean smirking behind the oblivious redhead, "Sorry mate, haven't seen it. Been asleep, you know."
Dean struggled to hold in his laughter before Ron said, "Well all right. If you see it let me know, I'd like to find the owner of those delicious delicates and find out how well they fit if you know what I mean." Now Dean made fake retching motions behind Ron's back, much to the amusement of Neville and Harry though Harry couldn't show it.
Harry let the subject drop long enough before asking, "Want to go out to the Quidditch pitch latter for a pickup game?"
"I am not in the mood for Quidditch!" the frustrated teen said loudly.
"Why not?" Harry asked quizzically.
"Do I have to have a reason?
As one, Dean, Seamus, Neville, and Harry all said flatly, "Yes, Ron. Yes, you do."
END
---
AN Post fic: Well, That was fun! There is one joke I'm sure I'm going to have to explain and it's the lampshade one. Go to TV Tropes (a website that I can't link here) and search "Lampshade Hanging." Basically, Ginny pointed out an improbability that Ron should have been able to hear them. Harry pointed out that Ginny was doing a lampshade moment, to which the joke above. Anyway, the quotes were: "I just love lampshades!", The Quidditch one at the end, "Did you find anything suspicious?" and Ron's answer, and both instances of "For Merlin's sake! Keep your voice down!" I sorta snuck in two thirds of another quote in the whole cornucopia gag. That, according to the challenge, is supposed to involve two characters.
Anyway, hope you liked it and that I didn't suck too badly with the humor.