TOW The First Night
For five years, the room had looked the same – slightly messy, clothes spilling out of the closet, scarves, sweaters, and shoes littering the bed and the floor. For five years, she had been able to find comfort, advice, laughter, and love – all in this room, and at any hour of the day or night.
But she wouldn't anymore. The room was empty, and its barrenness made her heart ache. But as sad as the emptiness made her, she also hoped that there would never be a reason for Rachel to return to the room. They were both moving on – growing up. The wonderful apartment she had shared with Rachel – and Phoebe before her – would now be shared with another. The love of her life.
She heard him an instant before she felt his arms slip around her, and she leaned back instinctively, sighing as she relaxed against him, welcoming the warmth and love his arms had always provided her.
"She really left," she told him quietly, a hint of mournfulness in her voice. She couldn't hide it from him, even if she wanted to. She knew he was feeling it, too. He and Joey had been roommates even longer than she and Rachel had. She reminded herself not to forget that her life wasn't the only one that was changing. They were doing this together.
"I know," he whispered in response to her statement, kissing the side of her head to reassure her. Such a simple, sweet gesture, but it just reminded her just how much she loved him, and just how attuned to each other they were. He always seemed to know what she needed.
"Thank you…"
She felt his facial muscles contract against her cheek as he smiled in response, and his arms tightened around her waist.
"No problem, roomie."
She felt a wave of emotion sweep over her, his contented tone telling her everything she needed to know. With just one word, he had reminded her of why she was facing the empty room.
She was going to be with Chandler. Maybe it was still too soon to say forever, but deep down she already knew that this was it. And she knew that he knew it, too. He would never move in if he didn't intend to stay.
She could feel her melancholy mood disappearing, and she turned in his arms so she could hug him tightly. He welcomed the embrace, and she sighed again, suddenly feeling a rush of exhilaration. This was really it.
She opened her eyes, intending to tell him how much she loved him and how excited she was that they would be sharing a home. Instead, her breath caught in a silent gasp as she caught a glimpse of an object foreign to her living room. She made a conscious effort to control her voice, not wanting him to think she was really upset and therefore break the mood.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
All pretense of calmness was gone. "What the hell is that dog doing here?"
Chandler laughed and pulled away from her, stroking a strand of hair behind her ear as he gave her the smile that melted her every time. All those years…she couldn't believe she had never noticed the way that smile made the world stop. Then again, she had managed to convince herself that this particular smile didn't exist before he fell in love with her.
"Joey gave it to us."
Us. So simple. She wondered if he even knew how much the little things meant to her. And he had just reminded her – again – that this was his place now, too. She relaxed, knowing that she was going to be facing a lot of changes in the near future. She just hoped he wouldn't want to put that ugly ceramic dog in their bedroom.
"And why did Joey give it to 'us'?"
Chandler smiled and leaned in to kiss her.
"He said it was a 'thank you' for everything over the years. I think he really felt like he should send some kind of security blanket with me – you know, having to live with a girl and all."
Monica ignored his teasing and reached up to run her hands through his hair. She could hear the nostalgia in his voice.
"He's going to miss you, you know. And I know you're going to miss him."
"Yeah…" Chandler gave her a crooked smile and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair. "But I think I'm going to be pretty happy right here."
"I hope so," Monica answered, a very slight note of uncertainty creeping into her voice.
"I know so," Chandler assured her. "I'm with you."
Monica couldn't hide her smile, and she leaned forward to give him a lingering kiss. Chandler held her for a moment, then pulled away and kissed her forehead.
"Soo…wanna help me unpack?"
Monica grinned in response and nodded excitedly. Then she glanced out the door again, and turned back to Chandler, suddenly businesslike.
"So, about the dog. What do you think – the balcony?"
"Mon, which drawers are mine?" Chandler asked, holding an armful of boxers and t-shirts.
"Those," Monica said, pointing the top two. She watched as Chandler dumped his clothing into the top drawer, biting her lip to keep from telling him how he should fold them and organize them in the drawer. She would do it herself in a few days. "You know, babe, now that you're taking up all my drawer space, I'll have to stop buying lacy lingerie and stick to more practical pajamas like…flannel."
Chandler raised his eyebrows at her in an amused smirk. "If you want to be practical, sleep naked and save the space altogether."
Monica stuck her tongue out in response to that and turned her attention back to carefully hanging Chandler's work suits in the closet. It was going to take her some time to get used to sharing her closet with someone else – not to mention that it was going to mess up her whole system. Chandler threw some socks into a drawer and tossed the empty box aside, then turned to look at his girlfriend. She was methodically lifting items from his luggage and inspecting them carefully before choosing their new home. The look of concentration on her face was too much for him to resist. In one swift motion, he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her down on the bed with him and leaning over to kiss her tenderly.
"Let's finish unpacking tomorrow," he suggested between kisses. Monica was too busy kissing him back to respond for a moment, but she finally gave him a slight push and sat up halfway.
"Sweetie, your clothes will get all wrinkled if we leave them packed up overnight."
"I don't care…"
"I do! Come on, just a few more minutes. We don't have to unpack everything tonight."
"Monica…" Chandler whined, hoping to convince her just to forget about his things for the rest of the night and stay in the bed with him.
"I'm almost done. It'll just take a few minutes."
"Okay," Chandler relented, rolling over onto his back so she could get up. She kissed him on the nose as she hopped off the bed, resuming her position in front of the closet. Chandler reluctantly rolled off the bed and started rummaging through the closest box, sighing when he found a stack of khakis and polo shirts. He'd have to hang most of those up. Monica's voice interrupted his silent complaints, startling him for a moment.
"Honey, what is this?"
He turned to look, blushing when he realized what she was holding. He'd meant to get to the wooden box first and hide it somewhere in his underwear drawer.
"Um, that's uh…a box…"
Monica ignored him, her curiosity already getting the best of her. She opened the box while Chandler watched helplessly, unable to stop her. Besides, he knew if he did, Monica wouldn't let it rest until she knew what was inside. He watched her face, wondering what she would say when she saw what was inside. He was surprised when she looked up at him, her eyes sparkling.
"A jewelry box, Chandler? I thought Phoebe was joking about that. Should I be worried?"
"No! No. It's just…Well, my mom gave it to me, actually. It's some kind of family heirloom. Since Mom never had a girl, she decided to give it to me." Chandler shrugged helplessly, looking as if he didn't understand that. "And she gave me the necklace, too."
Monica glanced back into the box and lifted out a beautiful silver necklace with a diamond pendant.
"This? It's beautiful."
"Yeah. It was my great grandmother's. I thought…well, I always thought I'd give it to my wife on our wedding day. Or maybe my daughter on hers…"
"You think about that?" Monica asked him softly, a sentimental smile on her face.
"Well…yeah. Sometimes."
Monica walked over and wrapped her arms around him, still holding the box and the necklace.
"Better be careful – someone might accuse you of actually thinking about the future and not letting it scare you."
Chandler smiled and gave her a quick kiss, his eyes and lips promising her that he had already given up those fears.
"And you better be careful, too. You already ruined the surprise – now I have to give the necklace to our daughter instead of you."
Monica ignored the warning and pulled away from him, looking into the box again and pulling out the object he'd hoped she would ignore.
"What's this?" she asked him innocently, and he could feel his face burning. It wasn't like it was a secret, but he wasn't sure what she would think when she opened the box – like she was doing now, he noticed as panic gripped him.
She glanced into the box, then lifted her eyes back to him, her expression surprised and confused. She held the box out toward him, questioning him with the gesture. He just shrugged, not sure what to tell her.
"You kept it?"
So she did know. He'd always wondered – if she ever found it, would she even remember? He nodded slowly and managed a smile.
"Yeah…I kept it. I couldn't take it back. I don't know why. Even though we weren't ready…Mon, the day I bought that ring – no matter what the reason or how wrong I was to think I had to propose to you because I was "sorry" – the moment I walked out of the jewelry store with that ring in my pocket was when I knew that a lifetime didn't scare me anymore. Not if it was with you."
Monica dropped the jewelry onto the bed and slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, her smile making his heart skip several beats. She kissed him tenderly, then pulled away just far enough to look up into his eyes.
"You never stop surprising me. Just when I think I know everything you're thinking…"
"You're surprised?"
"That you were thinking like that back then? Of course I am. We'd only just said "I love you"."
"And now, two proposals later, I still haven't managed to get a yes out of you," Chandler teased, brushing her hair out of her face.
"Hey, I said "yes" in Vegas – sort of."
"Maybe so, but I'm glad we didn't get married in Vegas. I want you to have everything you ever dreamed of – and a quickie wedding in a Vegas chapel isn't good enough."
"Does that mean you plan to propose a third time, Mr. Bing?" Monica asked him, her eyes sparkling happily.
"Third time's the charm," Chandler whispered, kissing her softly. "And it won't be because I'm trying to apologize, and it won't be on the roll of the dice at a craps table. I promise, Mon. It'll be worth the wait. All of it."
"I know it will. Everything with you has been worth the wait."
"I love you so much," Chandler told her, his voice husky.
"I love you too." Monica leaned against him, sighing as she felt him kiss the top of her head. "You know what?"
"Hmm?" he murmured, too content to bother guessing.
"You're home."
Chandler pulled back and looked at her, a smile spreading across his face as he realized what that meant. This apartment was his now, his and hers. Together. As much as he had thought about it over the past weeks, he was just beginning to realize how amazing it was going to be to share this home – this life – with her.
"Yeah. I'm home."
"So how does it feel? Living here after all these years?"
Chandler kissed her on the forehead and led her over to the bed.
"It feels like this is where I was always meant to be."
Monica smiled her agreement as she pulled him into a kiss.
"So what do you want to do on our first night in our apartment?" she asked him, one hand caressing his cheek.
"Do you have to ask?"
"Ah, we do that all the time," Monica teased.
"Yes, but tonight it will be for the first time in our apartment, and in our bed."
"Sure you're not just trying to get out of unpacking?"
Chandler laughed softly, then leaned forward to kiss her, slowly lying her down on the bed.
"Yeah, Mon, that's my motivation."
He moved his kisses to her neck, and Monica sighed happily, content to let him carry her away – and feeling a sudden swarm of butterflies in her stomach when she remembered that he wouldn't have to leave in the morning.
Funny…how much different – better – her bedroom, the apartment, the world felt now that she was sharing it with him.
For five years, the room had looked the same – slightly messy, clothes spilling out of the closet, scarves, sweaters, and shoes littering the bed and the floor. For five years, she had been able to find comfort, advice, laughter, and love – all in this room, and at any hour of the day or night.
But she wouldn't anymore. The room was empty, and its barrenness made her heart ache. But as sad as the emptiness made her, she also hoped that there would never be a reason for Rachel to return to the room. They were both moving on – growing up. The wonderful apartment she had shared with Rachel – and Phoebe before her – would now be shared with another. The love of her life.
She heard him an instant before she felt his arms slip around her, and she leaned back instinctively, sighing as she relaxed against him, welcoming the warmth and love his arms had always provided her.
"She really left," she told him quietly, a hint of mournfulness in her voice. She couldn't hide it from him, even if she wanted to. She knew he was feeling it, too. He and Joey had been roommates even longer than she and Rachel had. She reminded herself not to forget that her life wasn't the only one that was changing. They were doing this together.
"I know," he whispered in response to her statement, kissing the side of her head to reassure her. Such a simple, sweet gesture, but it just reminded her just how much she loved him, and just how attuned to each other they were. He always seemed to know what she needed.
"Thank you…"
She felt his facial muscles contract against her cheek as he smiled in response, and his arms tightened around her waist.
"No problem, roomie."
She felt a wave of emotion sweep over her, his contented tone telling her everything she needed to know. With just one word, he had reminded her of why she was facing the empty room.
She was going to be with Chandler. Maybe it was still too soon to say forever, but deep down she already knew that this was it. And she knew that he knew it, too. He would never move in if he didn't intend to stay.
She could feel her melancholy mood disappearing, and she turned in his arms so she could hug him tightly. He welcomed the embrace, and she sighed again, suddenly feeling a rush of exhilaration. This was really it.
She opened her eyes, intending to tell him how much she loved him and how excited she was that they would be sharing a home. Instead, her breath caught in a silent gasp as she caught a glimpse of an object foreign to her living room. She made a conscious effort to control her voice, not wanting him to think she was really upset and therefore break the mood.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
All pretense of calmness was gone. "What the hell is that dog doing here?"
Chandler laughed and pulled away from her, stroking a strand of hair behind her ear as he gave her the smile that melted her every time. All those years…she couldn't believe she had never noticed the way that smile made the world stop. Then again, she had managed to convince herself that this particular smile didn't exist before he fell in love with her.
"Joey gave it to us."
Us. So simple. She wondered if he even knew how much the little things meant to her. And he had just reminded her – again – that this was his place now, too. She relaxed, knowing that she was going to be facing a lot of changes in the near future. She just hoped he wouldn't want to put that ugly ceramic dog in their bedroom.
"And why did Joey give it to 'us'?"
Chandler smiled and leaned in to kiss her.
"He said it was a 'thank you' for everything over the years. I think he really felt like he should send some kind of security blanket with me – you know, having to live with a girl and all."
Monica ignored his teasing and reached up to run her hands through his hair. She could hear the nostalgia in his voice.
"He's going to miss you, you know. And I know you're going to miss him."
"Yeah…" Chandler gave her a crooked smile and pulled her into his arms, burying his face in her hair. "But I think I'm going to be pretty happy right here."
"I hope so," Monica answered, a very slight note of uncertainty creeping into her voice.
"I know so," Chandler assured her. "I'm with you."
Monica couldn't hide her smile, and she leaned forward to give him a lingering kiss. Chandler held her for a moment, then pulled away and kissed her forehead.
"Soo…wanna help me unpack?"
Monica grinned in response and nodded excitedly. Then she glanced out the door again, and turned back to Chandler, suddenly businesslike.
"So, about the dog. What do you think – the balcony?"
"Mon, which drawers are mine?" Chandler asked, holding an armful of boxers and t-shirts.
"Those," Monica said, pointing the top two. She watched as Chandler dumped his clothing into the top drawer, biting her lip to keep from telling him how he should fold them and organize them in the drawer. She would do it herself in a few days. "You know, babe, now that you're taking up all my drawer space, I'll have to stop buying lacy lingerie and stick to more practical pajamas like…flannel."
Chandler raised his eyebrows at her in an amused smirk. "If you want to be practical, sleep naked and save the space altogether."
Monica stuck her tongue out in response to that and turned her attention back to carefully hanging Chandler's work suits in the closet. It was going to take her some time to get used to sharing her closet with someone else – not to mention that it was going to mess up her whole system. Chandler threw some socks into a drawer and tossed the empty box aside, then turned to look at his girlfriend. She was methodically lifting items from his luggage and inspecting them carefully before choosing their new home. The look of concentration on her face was too much for him to resist. In one swift motion, he grabbed her by the waist, pulling her down on the bed with him and leaning over to kiss her tenderly.
"Let's finish unpacking tomorrow," he suggested between kisses. Monica was too busy kissing him back to respond for a moment, but she finally gave him a slight push and sat up halfway.
"Sweetie, your clothes will get all wrinkled if we leave them packed up overnight."
"I don't care…"
"I do! Come on, just a few more minutes. We don't have to unpack everything tonight."
"Monica…" Chandler whined, hoping to convince her just to forget about his things for the rest of the night and stay in the bed with him.
"I'm almost done. It'll just take a few minutes."
"Okay," Chandler relented, rolling over onto his back so she could get up. She kissed him on the nose as she hopped off the bed, resuming her position in front of the closet. Chandler reluctantly rolled off the bed and started rummaging through the closest box, sighing when he found a stack of khakis and polo shirts. He'd have to hang most of those up. Monica's voice interrupted his silent complaints, startling him for a moment.
"Honey, what is this?"
He turned to look, blushing when he realized what she was holding. He'd meant to get to the wooden box first and hide it somewhere in his underwear drawer.
"Um, that's uh…a box…"
Monica ignored him, her curiosity already getting the best of her. She opened the box while Chandler watched helplessly, unable to stop her. Besides, he knew if he did, Monica wouldn't let it rest until she knew what was inside. He watched her face, wondering what she would say when she saw what was inside. He was surprised when she looked up at him, her eyes sparkling.
"A jewelry box, Chandler? I thought Phoebe was joking about that. Should I be worried?"
"No! No. It's just…Well, my mom gave it to me, actually. It's some kind of family heirloom. Since Mom never had a girl, she decided to give it to me." Chandler shrugged helplessly, looking as if he didn't understand that. "And she gave me the necklace, too."
Monica glanced back into the box and lifted out a beautiful silver necklace with a diamond pendant.
"This? It's beautiful."
"Yeah. It was my great grandmother's. I thought…well, I always thought I'd give it to my wife on our wedding day. Or maybe my daughter on hers…"
"You think about that?" Monica asked him softly, a sentimental smile on her face.
"Well…yeah. Sometimes."
Monica walked over and wrapped her arms around him, still holding the box and the necklace.
"Better be careful – someone might accuse you of actually thinking about the future and not letting it scare you."
Chandler smiled and gave her a quick kiss, his eyes and lips promising her that he had already given up those fears.
"And you better be careful, too. You already ruined the surprise – now I have to give the necklace to our daughter instead of you."
Monica ignored the warning and pulled away from him, looking into the box again and pulling out the object he'd hoped she would ignore.
"What's this?" she asked him innocently, and he could feel his face burning. It wasn't like it was a secret, but he wasn't sure what she would think when she opened the box – like she was doing now, he noticed as panic gripped him.
She glanced into the box, then lifted her eyes back to him, her expression surprised and confused. She held the box out toward him, questioning him with the gesture. He just shrugged, not sure what to tell her.
"You kept it?"
So she did know. He'd always wondered – if she ever found it, would she even remember? He nodded slowly and managed a smile.
"Yeah…I kept it. I couldn't take it back. I don't know why. Even though we weren't ready…Mon, the day I bought that ring – no matter what the reason or how wrong I was to think I had to propose to you because I was "sorry" – the moment I walked out of the jewelry store with that ring in my pocket was when I knew that a lifetime didn't scare me anymore. Not if it was with you."
Monica dropped the jewelry onto the bed and slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, her smile making his heart skip several beats. She kissed him tenderly, then pulled away just far enough to look up into his eyes.
"You never stop surprising me. Just when I think I know everything you're thinking…"
"You're surprised?"
"That you were thinking like that back then? Of course I am. We'd only just said "I love you"."
"And now, two proposals later, I still haven't managed to get a yes out of you," Chandler teased, brushing her hair out of her face.
"Hey, I said "yes" in Vegas – sort of."
"Maybe so, but I'm glad we didn't get married in Vegas. I want you to have everything you ever dreamed of – and a quickie wedding in a Vegas chapel isn't good enough."
"Does that mean you plan to propose a third time, Mr. Bing?" Monica asked him, her eyes sparkling happily.
"Third time's the charm," Chandler whispered, kissing her softly. "And it won't be because I'm trying to apologize, and it won't be on the roll of the dice at a craps table. I promise, Mon. It'll be worth the wait. All of it."
"I know it will. Everything with you has been worth the wait."
"I love you so much," Chandler told her, his voice husky.
"I love you too." Monica leaned against him, sighing as she felt him kiss the top of her head. "You know what?"
"Hmm?" he murmured, too content to bother guessing.
"You're home."
Chandler pulled back and looked at her, a smile spreading across his face as he realized what that meant. This apartment was his now, his and hers. Together. As much as he had thought about it over the past weeks, he was just beginning to realize how amazing it was going to be to share this home – this life – with her.
"Yeah. I'm home."
"So how does it feel? Living here after all these years?"
Chandler kissed her on the forehead and led her over to the bed.
"It feels like this is where I was always meant to be."
Monica smiled her agreement as she pulled him into a kiss.
"So what do you want to do on our first night in our apartment?" she asked him, one hand caressing his cheek.
"Do you have to ask?"
"Ah, we do that all the time," Monica teased.
"Yes, but tonight it will be for the first time in our apartment, and in our bed."
"Sure you're not just trying to get out of unpacking?"
Chandler laughed softly, then leaned forward to kiss her, slowly lying her down on the bed.
"Yeah, Mon, that's my motivation."
He moved his kisses to her neck, and Monica sighed happily, content to let him carry her away – and feeling a sudden swarm of butterflies in her stomach when she remembered that he wouldn't have to leave in the morning.
Funny…how much different – better – her bedroom, the apartment, the world felt now that she was sharing it with him.