It was his faulth
A/N: Well, kellyQ asked for this and since I was wondering what to write next, her request turned out to be quite on time o. And since it just didn't seem right without a song, I dug this one out of nowhere and the lyrics seamed to fit perfectly X) Here it is, Jaden POV and his thoughts after they are all back from throughout episode 131. Enjoy.
My Rainbow in the Dark
I open my eyes hesitantly and am glad to realize I can see. And more than that – I can see our world. The sea, the blue sky, the trees, everything. Could it really be?
"Did we make it back?" I ask when I see Miss Fontaine kneeling in front of me and... Marcel? Is he ok? Something in the look I gave him must have given away my thoughts as she smiled and answers the unasked question:
"He'll be fine. And the answer to your question, Jaden, yes, thanks to you we're home."
Thanks to me? As if. I didn't do a thing about us getting back. It was all thanks to you, Jesse. You saved us… You're something else. You've always been more than everyone else, but with the Rainbow Dragon… I already want to duel you again. It would be a real challenge now that you had that card! I can't wait!
"I can't believe we actually did it," It wasn't that hard to find the strength to get up again. Easier than I thought it would be, actually. "Can you, Jesse?" I can't wait to hear your voice again, saying something positive that would make me believe it. But… "Jesse?" Why do you keep quiet? I can't help but turn around and look for you. "Hello?" Where… Where are you? "Jesse?"
Did you go inside already? Or are you with Sheppard, telling him what happened? Yeah, that's probably it-
Wait… No… No. No! NO! You... You couldn't have... You COULDN'T HAVE-
"I can't," Your face flashes in front of my eyes once more. "Stopping now will only reduce the energy and the portal home won't be able to open. I've got to keep the strength of my attack up," You couldn't… You didn't…"Catch you later, partner."
I can't believe this. Jesse… Jesse! You stayed behind, didn't you!? You… How could you stay back? I don't believe it! I don't understand… Why? Why would you stray back?
"He said he was giving his all…" It can't be real… It can't be… "Oh no…" You couldn't have stayed behind. I know you're out here. "Jesse!" Please… please, come out! Show me you're all right! Please! "JESSE!"
When there's lightning - it always bring me down
Cause it's free and I see that it's me
Who's lost and never found
I cry for magic - I feel it dancing in the light
But it was cold - I lost my hold
To the shadows of the night
You really did it… Why? Why, Jesse, why? Why did you have to stay? That couldn't have been the only way! I refuse to believe it! There had to have bene another way!
Then why did you do it? Did you know about his? I bet you did. There's no way you wouldn't have known.
Even if you hadn't the Crystal Beasts would have told you… Why didn't they stop you?
Why didn't I stop you? How could I have let this happen? How could I?
This… this just isn't fair. It isn't right. You were willing to give so much to get back home… Why did you have to stay there? Why did you have to be left behind?
Did you really do it to get back… Or did you only want us back? Why didn't you tell me about this? If I knew I would have found another way! I know I would have!
How could I have let you do it? How could I allow you to go trough with it?
There's no sign of the morning coming
You've been left on your own
Like a Rainbow in the Dark
You were the hero, Jesse. You were the one who got us here. It was all thanks to you that we're back.
So why, why did the hero have to be left behind? Why did you have to stay there? Why aren't you here with us?
It's just not fair. Not for you, not for anyone. You deserve more than anyone to be back here. To have your normal life, to continue it.
Instead, you're left there. In that cursed world, on your own. How could I have let this happen?
You said that the Rainbow Dragon would back you up… But what is a rainbow worth in the dark? When there is no light left to be reflected into its colors?
I just want to see your face again. I want to hear your voice again. Why do you have to be gone? There's nothing but a shadow of the memories in my mind. I need you back, Jesse! I need you around me. It's the kind of need the fish feel towards the water and the birds feel towards the sky. It's like I need to breath – that's how much I need to see you.
How am I supposed to stay here without you? How am I supposed to live without you?
Do your demons - do they ever let you go
When you've tried - do they hide -deep inside
Is it someone that you know
You're a picture - just an image caught in time
We're a lie - you and I
We're words without a rhyme
I lay here in the bed and curse my stupidity. If I only knew... If you had only told me how much this will take from you…
"It's all my fault." I can't help it. All of the blame falls on me. "Sending her to space… Not having a clue as to what could happen… "
It was all because of me. Yubel was my mistake. Why did she have to take you? Why not me?
Why… why didn't you let her take me? She didn't have anything to do with everyone else… She just wanted me. Why did you have to go in my place? Why, Jesse?
"I should have gotten rid of her when the trouble first started. And now because of me Jesse's gone."
Because of me. Because of me! BECAUSE OF ME!
I'm so sorry, Jesse! Isn't there any way to make things better? Isn't there any way to get you back? Any way?
There's no sign of the morning coming
You've been left on your own
Like a Rainbow in the Dark
I don't know if you understood all of this. I don't think you knew about how I feel or you, Jesse. I hope you did. I know I must have told you, but it's too late now.
I must have showed you. I must have made it at least a little evident.
All of the time we spent together… I must have had a million and one chances… But I was a fool, wasn't I? I always told myself 'next time'… Because I believed we had an entire year before us… I would have never thought you'd be gone so soon.
That's why I never told you. I always prolonged, I always thought there'd be another chance, better that the one before me.
I can't believe how stupid I was. I regret it all now.
It's true what they say – you don't know what you have until you loose it all.
Though I knew how much you meant to me. Ever since the day I met you. I felt it back then and I feel it now.
I love you. Only you, Jesse, only you and now… Now I can't believe I threw all of that away. I can't believe I just lost what we never even had. I can't believe I left you alone in the dark.
Like a lone ray of light to circle the void of darkness. Like a lone rainbow in the dark, put aside and thrown into a place it can never come back from…
I'm so sorry.
When there's lightning - it always brings me down
Cause it's free and I see that it's me
Who's lost and never found
Feel the magic -feel it dancing in the air
But it's fear - and you'll hear
It calling you beware
As I lay here, there's nothing I can do save for sulking and regretting y mistakes. Is that all I'm good at now? How far have I fallen?
I don't know how long it's been but it seams that all I've been doing since I got to my room has been cursing myself and keeping the tears that threatened to flow at bay.
Why do I refuse to let them fall? Because I know you wouldn't wanted me to cry. And as much as I hurt, as much as I want you back… I can't cry.
I won't cry. For you I'll try to be at least a little bit stronger. For what we could have had, for what I dreamed of us having.
Suddenly the voice of Winged Kuriboh brings me out of my thoughts I look up at him and unconsciously notice it's dark outside, before…
"What? Are you sure?"
What he just said… Was it really true? There was… a way to go back?
I… I'm not going to stay here and grieve for the rest of eternity! Whatever it takes me, Jesse, I'll get you back!
As risky as it might be, as dangerous as it would get, I will get you back!
"I'm coming, Jesse. Don't you worry. I've got you into this mess and I'll get you back."
There's no sign of the morning coming
There's no sight of the day
You've been left on your own
Like a Rainbow in the Dark
As I finally reach the place, I feel so strong, so confident – if I can bring you back, I can do everything. I will save you from the hell you threw yourself into to bring us back.
You are the fallen hero, who I'll bring back to us.
"Jesse… Hang on!"
I walk towards the portal. I don't know what will happen. I don't know what will await me on the other side and I don't know how tough it might get.
But the one things that I know is, that I'm not going to leave my rainbow in the dark!