Disclaimer: None of this is mine. The Psych characters belong to Steve Franks and the Psych cast. The plot of this little snippet comes from a video of the Space Frogs, two dudes in Berlin who make the funniest videos on Youtube. Too bad most of you won´t understand it, since it´s in German ;-) But if you´re still inerested, don´t hesitate to have a look. It´s called: Mega gruseliger Horror Film (Tötet innerhalb von 7 Tagen)
And for everyone else. Enjoy.
Super duper really mega scary horror movie
When Gus came out of the bathroom, he almost jumped out of his shoes. His heart began pounding in terror at the unexpected shout of: "Gus! You totally have to see this video. It´s a super duper mega scary horror movie. You´ll jump out of your shoes watching it." Shawn frowned upon seeing his best friend so pale, despite his usually so chocolaty complexion. "Everything all right?" he asked.
"Horror film?" Gus managed to bring out, still trying to recover from this fright Shawn had given him. God, he hated Halloween.
"Yes." Shawn was still frowning at him. "What´s the matter? You´re not scared, are you?"
Gus instantly snorted, a little too long maybe. "Of course not." he claimed. "Where´s this video? On youtube?"
"Nope." Shawn said and proudly presented the video tape. Gus blinked, startled.
"A VHS? Seriously? How am I supposed to play a VHS these days?"
"Don´t worry, Gus." Shawn turned the tape around, showing the downside. A little sticker was attached there. "There´s a digital copy coming with this thing." he explained "You can download it. Already did it myself. Totally simple." He pushed the VHS into Gus´ hands and was gone. "Have fun."
"W-Wait!" Gus cried after him. "Where are you going?"
"Ordering some pizza. Why?"
"Ah-I thought we watch this together." Gus attempted but Shawn only waved a hand.
"Already saw it. And it´s way better when you watch it … alone." he switched off the light to underline the drama, switching on a flashlight he´d hidden in his pocket just for this effect and illuminated his own face. And after his first flinch caused by the unexpected change of light, Gus was annoyed at last.
"SHAWN!" he tried to shout but Shawn only laughed and hurried out.
"I´ll be right back!" he sing sang and was gone.
Gus was left behind, wondering, looking down on the tape in his hand. It was definitely recorded, not sold on the market, and someone – not Shawn, Gus knew his handwriting – had scribbled something on it. Super duper really mega scary horror movie – which definitely doesn´t kill you after watching.
Gus frowned. What?
...
After downloading the digital copy of the VHS – Shawn was right, it was totally simple – Gus started the tape, only feeling slightly uncomfortable. He wasn´t crazy about horror movies, and if he was honest with himself he only watched this now, to prove to Shawn that he was NOT scared to watch something as silly as a home-recorded tape all on his own. In the abandoned new San Francisco Psych office. While everything around him was silent. And dark. Why the hell was the light out anyway?
He was about to rise and switch it on, when the tape already started. And man, just how it started. There was a strange tone, not really a tone but a sound. A little shrieking but only for a second, but it instantly caught his attention, and froze his gaze to the screen. The tape was in old school black and white, with a touch of really old recordings to it, as if it was recorded a long time ago, when digital copies had only been a strange idea in the vast dreams of science fiction writers. The audio was off as well, like a tape player on low batteries.
Gus stared at the screen, and was horrified. What he saw was just terrible. Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber took turns in showing off their worst music video snippets, performing dance moves in slow motion the way only a sick mind could make it up. Inbetween all this Gus saw himself, laughing at the screen like a maniac. He was holding a flashlight in his hand and pointed it down the stairs that led into the cellar. WHAT?
More dance moves, half dressed girls shaking their butts and once again a maniac Gus who pointed at a door with his flashlight, indicating the watcher of the video to open it and go inside the cellar.
Their cellar.
Downstairs of this building where they had rented the rooms for the new Psych agency.
Gus was one moment from losing his mind. When had he done this? When had he allowed Shawn to film him like this? It had to be someone else on that tape. Someone who only looked like him. It was absolutely impossible that he …
And then, all the sudden, he saw himself again. On the tape. In profile, sitting in the Psych office at night, staring into a screen with a face full of horror and fear, while he was hugging his knees.
He frowned … and the Gus on the screen did the same. What?
He turned his head but there was no one there. No camera, as far as he could see.
He looked back, and realized the Gus on the tape was doing the exact same movements. He raised his hand, and the Gus on the tape did too. His heart started to pound faster and he saw the Gus on the tape breath erratically, his face becoming a mask of utter terror.
"SHAAAAWN."
He instantly pushed the eject button on the player, and the screen turned to gray. The new silence in the room was suddenly disrupted by the shrill ringing of his phone.
Gus jumped, violently, gasping and panting. This had to be a joke. It just had to be. Shawn was trying to fool him somehow.
He answered the phone, hands shaking.
"Y-Yes?"
On the other end it was silent. Until a raspy voice announced to him: "Seven days."
"What?!" Gus began to back off until he bumped into someone. A dark figure standing in the shadow. But before he could start screaming Shawn took the hood off his head and the phone out of his shaking hand.
"Come again?" he spoke into it, and after a moment: "What? How long? Forget it. I order my pizza somewhere else."
He hung up, shaking his head at Gus.
"W-what?"
"I tell you, dude. Never order a pizza from Afghanistan no matter how delicious the topping sounds."
"What?"
"Huh?" Shawn raised his brows. "Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had to give them a landline number and you are the only one in all San Francisco who still has one."
"Shawn."
"Gotta go, dude."
"Shawn, wait. This video. There´s something really strange …"
"Yeah, that video´s really cool, you´ve gotta watch it, dude." and with that Shawn was already out the door.
"But, Shawn." Gus resigned, totally at a loss for words. What the hell was going o … He turned around and a dark figure stood there, wielding a knife at him.
He jumped back until he realized it was only Shawn again.
"Sorry, dude. I forgot the knife. How else am I supposed to cut the pizza when it gets here. Sorry again. This time I´m really gone." And he was gone again, before Gus had recovered from his pounding heart.
He took a breath and tried to calm down. When he turned around, there was again a dark figure, claws stretched out for him.
"SHAWN!" he cried, voice way too high, and Shawn laughed.
"Sorry, dude, this time I really just wanted to scare you. Sorry. I´m going now, this was the last time, promise."
"Shawn!"
He was gone, the door closed behind him. God, Gus hated Halloween.
...
After five minutes of trying to calm down, he couldn´t stand it any longer. He dialed Shawn´s number and demanded an explanation.
"Yo, Gus, what´s up?"
"Shawn. About this video … have you watched it completely? I mean to the very end?"
"What do you mean, of course I … Oh what the faaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrggggg!"
Gus´ eyes were as big as golf balls at this cruel sound. "Sh – Shawn? SHAWN!"
He jumped up. Oh no. This mustn´t be. Something was very wrong. He had to help him. Thanks God he was only a few doors away.
Slowly Gus made his way into the kitchen. The light switch didn´t work so he took the flashlight.
The kitchen seemed much bigger in the dark, and from somewhere he could hear a scary sound, like wind blowing through a hollow ventilation. And then, all the sudden his light passed a spot on the stove. The usually white surface was sprinkled with red. Blood?
He searched the ground beneath the stains and found a body. Woody!
What was he doing here? He just lay there, eyes closed, unmoving and on his neck there was more red. Oh no.
"Woody?" Gus whispered. "Woody!"
He wanted to scream but in this moment another sound reached his ear. Chiming sounds of a musical clock and then the chilling sound of heartily children´s laughter. Gus´ blood ran cold at the sounds. What was going on here?
He abandoned Woody and walked, slowly, towards the laughter. Behind the next door it was light again. The children´s laughter was louder now and when Gus peeked into the living room, Shawn was sitting on the couch, idly watching something on his laptop. The sounds came from there.
Gus straightened, frowning. "What´s that?"
"Oh, hey, dude. That´s the newest mix of DJ Ghetto. Children´s laughter and musical box sounds. Really nails it for Halloween."
Gus shook his head. This night got curiouser and curiouser. "Shawn." he attempted to get himself under control again. "Do you know that Woody is lying in our kitchen?"
"Yeah, totally forgot to mention that. He came over from Santa Barbara, for the weekend. Wanted to make some yummy sauce, he said. Only he slipped and poured it all over himself, and my foot." Shawn shrugged. "Why?"
"Sooo he´s not dead?"
"Don´t think so. I tell you if he starts smelling."
Gus just couldn´t believe it. "Shawn. About this video again … Have you even seen it?"
"Why do you keep asking?"
"Because I am in this video!"
"You are in Lady Gaga´s background dance group?"
"What? No. Shawn! Would you pay attention? I just said, I´m in this video."
"I … skipped a few of the boring parts."
"And our cellar!"
"Huh?"
"It´s on that tape. I believe something very very evil is going on down there. I´m sure of it."
Shawn looked at him, very strange, trying to figure this out.
"I believe the only logical conclusion is, that we go down there right now."
...
It was creepy. Again the light wouldn´t work, and limited them completely to the mercy of their flashlights. Gus was already regretting that he ever mentioned the cellar in the first place. Why did he want to come down here again? He must have been out of his damn mind.
There was a sound, just behind them. Someone was breathing. But when they swirled around and searched with the flashlights there was nothing.
The sound came again, from another direction this time, and the two of them didn´t wait to find out what it was. They started screaming, high and loud, and simply ran. When they reached the door, Gus tried to open it, but Shawn bumped into him, and it fell back into the lock.
"What are you doing?"
"Open it, open it, open it."
"I´m trying to."
"Oh my God."
"Hey guys!"
"Ahhhhhhhh!"
Their flashlights found the face that belonged to this creepy voice. An awfully pale and skinny guy, smiling like a madman.
"Danny?" Shawn recognized their neighbor. A little IT student who had too many computers and too less human contact. He was also the caretaker of this place, to earn some extra money beside his study, and the only reason why Gus had thought twice before he actually signed the lease for this place. This little dude was seriously creepy.
"You left the keys to your cellar in the lock." he now told them, and held up the key, still smiling.
"Thanks, dude." Shawn took it, and retrieved his hand again instantly.
"Always here to help." the little nerd replied. "I´m making some Bolognese sauce. Do you want some?"
"No thanks, I ordered some pizza."
"All right." Danny retrieved, walking backwards into the dark again, to vanish through the second door. "Have a nice Halloween!"
After the door was closed behind him, Gus began breathing again. "This dude … needs help."
"He does." Shawn sighed and lowered the flashlight at last. "Let´s get back up. There´s nothing down here."
Just as Gus wanted to agree, the flashlight found something lying on the ground, just beside the door. It was another tape, and some fat letters on in announced: Sexy tape.
Gus slapped Shawn on the chest, repeating the gesture a few times but instead of looking down, Shawn only did the same to him. Gus slapped him harder, startling his friend, but when he pushed him around even Shawn spotted the tape on the ground.
"Dude!" he picked it up, reading closer what was written there. Sexy Tape! Kylie Minogue does it with Jennifer Lopez.
The two of them began bopping up and down with excitement.
"Dude, the legend is true."
"It really does exist!"
Shawn turned the VHS around, to see the sticker on the back. It read: No digital copy possible.
"Nooooooo!"
Happy Halloween to you all ! :D