-1This is for the weirdo contest I was forced into by my messed-up friend, Casey. What contest, you ask, could force someone to make such a crack fan fiction? Well duh, "THE SUPER DUPER CRACK FANFICTION CONNTTEESSSSTTTTTT!" of course. XD
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"Welcome!" The host club called. The weeks costumes had been an idea from a fan girl -- angels and demons. Tamaki had instantly fallen in love with the idea, although Kyoya had been against the idea. But, being the "King" of the Host Club, Tamaki had been able to persuade Kyoya into going for the idea. But there was something…off with the designs. They had gone 'opposite' it seemed, with Hunny, Haruhi, Tamaki, and Kaoru dressed as demons, (dressed in black, with fake black wings attached to the costumes) while the rest were angels (dressed all in white, and white wings being attached the uniforms).
When the rose petals stopped falling, they saw their three new costumers. The three were exchange students, all coming from the United States. Kaitlin (preferably Railz), Emma (she insisted she be called Ami), and Brigid (Dizo--which was short for her other nickname, Asustadizo). They were odd, often being seen obsessing over random people -- (Railz claimed Hikaru as soon as she had seem him, and could immediately tell the twins apart -- their voices, Kaoru's was deeper. Ami had declared Kaoru as her future lover. Dizo called Kyoya) -- and the three often just sat outside the door, debating on whether or not to open the door or not.
"Shit." Hikaru muttered, scooting so that he was behind Tamaki. "It's the crazy twins Kaoru and I were telling you about -- and the blonde." He said, still hiding behind the demon. Kaoru was beside him.
"Hikaru…I'm scared…" Kaoru confessed, whimpering. "Ami tried to drag me into a closet the other day, I narrowly escaped from being raped! Renge popped up and did her laugh, and Ami got all mad because she thought Renge was calling her a hoe."
Tamaki looked at the three girls -- the two brunette twins, and the blonde -- "How can we--"
"Where's my lover?" Ami asked seriously, searching around. "DID YOU RAPE HIM?! I KNEW IT! Everyone wants my Kaoru." She sobbed, falling on the floor dramatically. "Or…could it be…that Kaoru is hiding?" She asked suspiciously. "Or maybe Hikaru and him are in a closet doing…naughty things…" Ami giggled. "I lov--WAS THAT A SQUEAK?! WAS THAT MY LOVER'S SQUEAK?!" She asked, standing up. "I. Heard. Kaoru." She said, giving Tamaki the Fangirl Stare Of Doomly Demonic Death.
The King whimpered, and hid behind Kyoya, leaving the twins out in the open. "Oh, thanks, milord." Hikaru said sarcastically. "We'll remember this." The two boys vowed.
Railz grabbed Hikaru, and dragged him to the corner, and made Ami do the same to Kaoru. "YOU TWO." She commanded, pointing a finger in the poor Hitachiin's direction. "Make with the twincesting, and you may be spared."
Kaoru and Hikaru glanced at each other awkwardly, and Hikaru slowly wrapped his arm around his brother, pressing his lips against Kaoru's own. "You know," Kaoru mumbled against Hikaru, "this isn't so bad…perhaps…we should do this more often." He pulled back, looking up at his older brother, a slightly seductive smile on his face.
Dizo had managed to lure Hunny into the closet, that way he wouldn't go all Physco Martial Arts Demon. How did she manage to trick the second oldest host? It was easy actually. "Hunnnnyy-senpai, I have caaakkeee…" That had been all it took, and Hunny was instantly following her into the closet.
Mori and Tamaki were tied together, and their faces was only centimeters apart, much to the embarrassment of the two; it wasn't that they didn't like each other, no, it was the fact they liked each other that made this situation almost unbearable. "Tamaki." Mori breathed huskily, and looked down at the blond.
"M-Mori-senpai…"
And what, you may ask, had happened to Haruhi? This was simple. The three had classified her as "Enemy Number One", for she was, in their eyes, tearing the Host Club apart. So they pushed her out the window. Those demon wings didn't help her in the end, did they?
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This was probably the weirdest day in Jessica's life. First some girl ran past her screaming "Hikaru", then some brunette just landed on the ground beside her. Oh, not only this, but the boy had wings. Sica looked up to see the building, and saw three girls. The trio had the Deathly Glare of Doomly Fangirls look on.
What. The. Fuck?
She wasn't at all sure if she should go investigate -- a boy was just thrown from the fucking window, needless to say she was a bit wary about going inside the building now. But eventually curiosity got to her, just as it always did (this seemed to be happening increasingly often). So Sica walked up the stairs, wondering idly if she would be the next victim. She didn't think that the boy was dead -- seeing as the fall had been high, but not exactly that high. He probably had just broken a few bones, maybe a rib…
Sica looked at the door, then up at the sign. Third floor music room, it was basically unused, so…what? She opened the door, and immediately wished she hadn't. Two identical brothers -- the Hitachiins, she recognized them as -- were in…belly dancing costumes…belly dancing.
There was a blonde and a brunette, watching the two carefully. Occasionally the brunette would go, "SHAKE THEM HIPS, KAORU!" and the male on the left would blush, and shake his hips. The blonde nudged her friends, grinning widely. "I always did tell you that they would be great belly dancers."
What. The. Fuck?
If there had been any doubts in her mind about this school being insane, they were vanquished immediately.
[…haha. I realize that's really sucky, but…oh well. I'm too lazy to write out any more at the moment, funny how that works, isn't it? I intend to work more with this later, since…well…yeah. It's my first fan fiction, and…well…it's not very good. XD I'm sorry. Don't kill me, please. -hides- I just don't have the time to do any of this, since I only write when no one's home because I hate people reading my writing. ; By the way, I bet you can guess the characters I made up are based off my friends.
Dizo -- My best friend Brigid.
Ami -- Brigid's twin, we're not best friends but we have started getting along better (we used to tear each others hair out)
Railz -- MEEEEEEEEEE! SHAKE THEM HIPS, HIKARU!
Hikaru: And I got the crazy one….
Jessica -- SICCAAAA! -prances happily-
And no…I'm not that big of a fan for Tamaki and Mori…but…my friend swears up and down every time they look at each other there's a fire lit, somewhere deep inside, just waiting to get out. So I decided to humor her. XDDD By the way, 'Le Posey Trio'...well...we tend to pose a lot...XDD