Title : Love
Rating: G-PG
Realm: Final Fantasy Advent Children
Pairing: One-sided RenoxCloud
Genre: General, minor angst, some fluff
Warnings: A bit of language, minor game- spoilers and more serious movie spoilers
Word-count:1311
Summary: Reno thinks about what love really is
Notes: Another drabble written during a sleepless night. Beware of my sarcastic humour and general dislike of Chocobo-head.
I've been reading a lot of fan-fics lately, and something that's stricken me is that not many of them deal with how the characters really come to feel about one another; how they come to that conclusion etc. etc. I've borrowed some ideas from other writers – and I'm sorry if I've offended anyone by it. I try to write my own plots; but this just inspired me.
Btw; the constant usage of "kid" and similar terms is on purpose; even though I know the lads are about the same age. I figured it was something similar to Reno's "zo to," a way for himself to relate to the other.
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Love.
Such a strange word that should hold on to so much. In so many different ways it could mean so many things; from the love of a mother to her child; the love between friends; the love-hate of two long-term work-partners; when a brother loves his sister; or that innocent love between children before they realize what it is that they feel. Unrequited love; tearing your insides out with the pain it brought.
And then there's the love between two lovers; which in itself is a complete array of kinds.
There's the newlywed kind, where you can't tear your eyes from one another, the flame burning brighter than a thousand stars. Then the jealous kind when you're still insecure about your partner but not really trusting yourself to say the words out loud, tearing and corrupting what you feel. Then the long-term love; when you know one another so well and trust it that it all becomes a part of the everyday life, but still holds that flicker of hope that just won't die.
Love.
Such a fragile thing; like a candle in the wind. Yet still strangely enough stronger than any other bond in the world.
Reno had no idea why he was pondering all of this. He hadn't loved anyone since his parents had died when he was twelve. Certainly; he'd lusted after people, and cared for his partners, but no – he had never loved anyone since he'd been little, nor had he wanted it or actively searched for it.
Maybe it was that he felt that he was getting old. By the lifestyle he led he didn't expect to see past 30; heck – if any of the Turks did that then they certainly were good at what they were doing. Tseng was certainly included to that small list that lived past the big three-zero, no matter how much the red-head loved to deny the other's skills.
Ah, there was that word again. Showing up when least he expected it.
Reno took another sip of the whiskey he'd ordered in some time ago; barely even feeling how it burned down his throat. He didn't feel like drinking tonight, even though things had gone almost as planned. The bad guys – err… well; the other bad guys had died and ShinRa gotten the cash and materia they'd been after.
You see; Turks weren't hired only for the reason of that they were good at what they did; it was because none of them really had any ties to the human world. There was nothing holding them back; nothing that would cloud their affection in say… a hostage situation.
Ah, now that was the reason for a thoughtful mood that would make both Rude and Elena choke on their drinks, had they been there at the moment to witness it.
Because while leaning back against the helicopter next to Rude to watch the show of the building they'd been rigging with explosives he'd seen Cloud Strife enter the building not ninety seconds before it would all become a pile of rubble. What the blonde moron had been doing in that sector Reno had no idea, but in the middle of damning the man to hell and back he'd done what he absolutely - during no circumstances was allowed to do.
He'd lost his cool and doubted the mission.
No matter that Strife had exited the building twenty nerve-wracking seconds later or that the only one who had seen it happen was Rude; the damage had already been done inwardly.
Which led him to the situation he now was in. Questioning why it was that he had reacted in such a way.
First he had tried to reason it away; claiming that they couldn't let the twice saviour of the world get killed; that'd be bad business and all – but even as Reno had formulated the thought he'd known it was a lie. He'd never seen Cloud like that; hell – the first time he'd seen the kid they'd been trying to kill one another. He'd been nothing more than an annoyance that ShinRa wanted dead. But sometime – maybe it was during Wutai or maybe even as late as when fighting the Remnants; he'd realized that although he didn't exactly like the man he didn't mind him all too much – even though he was a moody brat with the hairdo of a chocobo. Reno even respected Cloud to a certain level.
But that still didn't explain just why it had felt as if his heart had stopped in the chest when blonde hair went through that murky wooden door.
Was it the physical looks?
No, not really, even though Reno always had had a soft spot for blondes; however usually they had longer, ah – hair and… other qualities. Besides, anyone who walked around with a sword like that clearly had to be over-compensating for something.
It certainly wasn't his charms. Cloud would have to take some serious lessons even to hold a civil conversation in front of people. Not to mention how much he'd go around and brood, staring off into the distance or drive off to that memorial of his friend.
Seriously, his entire personality suggested that he'd go and see a psychiatrist. But then again, Reno mused as he drained the last of the whiskey; it really was none of his business how the other acted around others.
He couldn't really pinpoint it just what it was that made him care for the blonde; and that was just what disturbed him the most. Although he might have admitted to himself that he'd lusted after the other that wasn't it; this went deeper. And still he knew – he did not love the blonde – he was absolutely positive about it. No siree. Not at all.
Hearing the laughter from the other patrons of the bar he briefly glanced up, watching the barkeep briefly look in his direction before raising a mildly inquiring eyebrow. He wordlessly shook his head, noticing how she smiled briefly and resuming dealing with another customer.
Then it hit him what it was that had led to all of this; why he felt that he had to make up to the other for what he'd done during the years. Why it was that his heart felt so heavy.
It was his smile.
That small, tentative and oh so childish smile that he'd seen only once; back at Aerith's church when he'd healed the children from the geostigma through the healing water.
The smile hadn't even been directed towards him where he'd been lurking at the back of the church, just keeping tabs on that things were working themselves out before reporting back to Rufus. But it was then that things had changed, and he'd known that he wanted the other to someday smile at him like that.
The mere thought of Reno wanting Cloud to smile at him made Reno groan inwardly and wish that he'd ordered another drink – no; make that an entire bottle. He sounded like such a girl.
He'd rather die than going mushy – if he did that then seriously Tseng could put that gun to his head that he'd been threatening Reno with for the past two years; Reno would even provide him with the bullets for it.
Seriously – Reno of the Turks falling for Cloud fucking Strife due to a smile? If word ever got out, he'd never live it down.
Shaking his head to himself he tossed some bills on the counter, taking his leave. He wasn't even closely as drunk as he wanted to be, but the realisation made him want to get out of the place as soon as possible.
Then, unable to help himself, he gave the briefest of smiles. Maybe this love thing – though certainly that wasn't what he was feeling – wasn't such a bad thing after all.