Monday

Author: ShaViva

Rating: T

Content Warning: None

Season: Post Season 3 episode Sunday – early season 4. Episode tag for Sunday.

Summary: Everyone knows what happened on Sunday, but what about after? For Evan Lorne, anger, guilt and grief drive him to behave unlike his usual self. He'd have gotten away with it too, but for Doctor Jennifer Keller and her intrusions into his pretenses. Kind of Lorne/Keller pre-ship/friendship.

Classifications: Drama, maybe a hint of romance

Pairings: could be seen as Lorne/Keller pre-ship or just friendship

Spoilers for: very vague ones for Sunday, Adrift and Lifeline.

Acknowledgements: None

Disclaimer: The Stargate characters, storylines, etc aren't mine. I am unfortunately not associated in any way with the creators, owners, or producers of Stargate or any of its media franchises – if I was Lorne would have been in A LOT more episodes. All publicly recognizable characters, settings, equipment, etc are the property of whoever owns them. The original characters and plot and anything else I made up are the property of me, the author. No copyright infringement is intended.

Copyright (c) 2010 ShaViva

Chapter 1: Avoidance

"Damn it!" Lorne growled the curse as he clamped a hand over his right forearm where the short arrow had just embedded itself. "Keep going!" he told his team impatiently, not slowing his own pace.

They were running from a group of locals, old allies who'd suddenly decided they didn't want further contact with anyone from Atlantis. Apparently the Wraith had made it known through their 'tame' human contacts that planets with those contacts would be dealt with severely. As the village leader, Carlan, had put it a feeding would be preferred over what the Wraith promised they'd do to anyone helping the Atlantians.

Lorne of course had tried to talk them around – Atlantis was still looking to build on their allies and couldn't really afford to lose the ones they'd already made. Sure, the replicators were now programmed to go after the Wraith but desperate times often resulted in desperate ... and deadly actions.

In response to Evan's diplomatic efforts the locals had drawn their arrows and bows, prompting team Lorne to make a hasty exit.

Not hasty enough if the pain in Evan's arm was any indicator. As they rounded the bend and broke into the clearing that housed the Stargate he put on a burst of speed and threw himself behind the DHD. "Coughlin, dial the gate," he yelled, ducking low.

Looking down at his arm he swallowed hard. The arrow was embedded pretty deep and throbbed in time with the beating of his heart. It was a kind of flag for the exertion he'd just put himself through – his blood was bounding loud enough he could almost hear it - which probably wasn't a good thing for what he intended to do next.

"Sir?" Airman Reed dropped down next to his CO, his expression concerned as he looked at the arrow.

"Watch those trees Reed," Lorne ordered. "You see anyone you shoot – warning shots unless they get too close."

"Yes Sir," Reed shifted to take up a cover position to follow those orders.

"Okay," Evan muttered to himself, eyes on his injury. "Just like a bandaid." With that he grabbed the arrow and ripped it from his arm, stifling the yell of pain down to a low groan. God, that had hurt a lot worse than he'd expected. Leaning back for a second, Lorne concentrated on beating down the urge to groan some more. Grabbing a field dressing he pulled up his sleeve and wrapped the bandage around his arm rapidly, tying it off tight. Pulling down the fabric of his long sleeved t-shirt to cover the bandage, he looked up quickly to assess their situation.

Just in time too – the wormhole whooshing out was accompanied by the arrival of the locals at the edge of the clearing. "Go! Go!" Lorne yelled, jumping up and taking the few steps needed to get him to the event horizon.

And then they were stepping through to safety, the few arrows that made it to Atlantis with them falling uselessly to the floor as the shield was raised.

"Major, report," Colonel Sheppard was already on his way down the stairs, Colonel Carter a step behind him.

"Another planet that no longer wants to be friends Sir," Lorne said simply.

"That's the second one this week," Sheppard said grimly.

"Yes Sir," Lorne was aware of his men moving to stand with him. "The replicators being out and about isn't going to help either. If we don't find the source of these Wraith threats it's only going to get worse."

"Did you get any leads on that?" Sheppard asked hopefully.

"Maybe," Lorne turned to look at Coughlin. "The Sergeant here overheard two of the locals talking. It might be nothing but they mentioned another planet they'd visited recently. Could be worth going to take a look."

"Okay," Colonel Carter nodded. "Major, you and your team report to the infirmary and then we'll debrief straight after."

"Yes Ma'am," Lorne nodded to his team to get started. Once they were out of earshot he put a hand on Coughlin's shoulder. "Tell the docs I'll be there in a minute," he said, breaking off and heading for the nearest transporter.

Less than a minute later he was in his quarters, at the bathroom mirror, assessing the damage. His shirt was beyond repair – pulling it carefully down his arm he ripped it off and threw it into the trash can before leaning into the mirror. On closer inspection it wasn't as bad as he'd feared. The puncture wound was deep but it was clean - the arrow hadn't ripped the flesh when he'd pulled it out. The amount of blood still flowing from the wound was a little concerning but if he put enough pressure on it it would clot and then scab and he'd be right. Pulling out his first aid kit, Evan got to work, cleaning the area with antiseptic and then covering it with gauze. He wrapped a fresh bandage around his forearm, holding one end in his teeth so he could get the knot tight enough.

"Done," he murmured. All that was left to do was clean off all the dried blood that had managed to get on his chest and hands and pull on a clean shirt.

In all the whole operation took three minutes. Two minutes later he was walking into the infirmary. He saw Doctor Keller immediately – running the standard checks on Reed. Looking around he spotted the person he was looking for. Nurse Jillian Harper had been on the Daedalus when Evan had shipped to Atlantis. She'd left a bad relationship behind and Evan had become a kind of surrogate brother during the long trip. That relationship had extended to their time on Atlantis to the point that if she was on duty Jillian usually did his post mission check.

"Evan," she smiled as he nodded to his men and then made his way over to her. "Easy mission?"

"Yeah, except for the ending," Lorne agreed. "But we got through unscathed so it's not all bad."

"Anything you need me to look at?" Jill asked.

"Nah, I'm good," Evan said simply. He tried not to feel bad for deceiving her even slightly. He was fine but he knew her question wasn't asking for his self diagnosis. He just ... he didn't want Keller's attention right then and he knew that if he'd brought the arrow wound out into the open that's what would happen. Then he'd be lucky to get out of the infirmary before nightfall.

Smiling Jillian did the bare essentials – putting him under the scanner to make sure he hadn't been taken over by nanites or anything else, taking some blood – from his left arm thankfully – and then pronouncing him fit to be roaming around the city.

"Thanks Jill," Evan said, putting a hand on her arm and squeezing lightly.

"No problem Evan," Jillian returned. Watching him leave she sighed. He'd been troubled for a while but so far hadn't opened up to her – they were friends but there was always a part of Evan Lorne that no one got to see.

"Problems Jillian?" Jennifer Keller came to stand beside her station.

"No Doctor Keller," Jill replied.

"Are you and Major Lorne ...," Jennifer left the sentence open.

"Together? No ma'am," Jillian said immediately. "Evan's a friend though. He's just been ... even more private than usual the past few weeks. I'm sure it's nothing."

"You did all the basic checks?" Jennifer asked.

"Yes Doctor," Jill reported.

"Okay, well if you're still concerned we can get Major Lorne in for a more detailed physical," Keller suggested.

"He'd hate that," Jillian admitted.

"Ah, one of those," Jennifer smiled knowingly. "Tough military man who doesn't like the infirmary. We seem to have a few of those around."

Smiling Jillian nodded, finished her notes for Evan's file and then closed it off, moving on to her next task.

"You okay Sir?" Airman Reed was the only one who knew about Lorne's injury but had had to wait until after the debrief to check on his CO's condition.

"All patched up," Lorne said casually. "No permanent damage done."

Nodding, Reed followed his team leader into the mess.

They'd talked at the debrief about the planet the local's Coughlin had overheard had mentioned, and agreed it was worth another mission the following day. Now they were on their way for a very late lunch before going off duty for the rest of the day. It had been an early start and Lorne didn't mind admitting he was feeling a little tired.

Looking at the meagre offerings still available, Evan grabbed an apple and a bottle of water and headed for the nearest vacant table.

"Not hungry Sir?" Coughlin took a seat across from Lorne, his tray full.

"Not especially," Evan shrugged, winced a little as his bandage pulled painfully. Putting a hand to his arm he felt the heat, even through the bandage. It had been a hard impact and it wasn't unheard of for there to be residual heat and swelling. He'd have to check it again when he got back to his room.

"You okay Major?" David Parrish asked, the last one of the team to sit down.

"Never better," Evan smirked. "It's you civilians who usually can't keep up."

"Hey, I ran just as fast as the rest of you today," Parrish protested, his attention immediately diverted. "Did you see?" He nudged Reed. "I think I even beat you to the Gate today."

"You did good Doc," Reed said, frowning a little as he watched his CO.

Lorne noticed, shaking his head subtly and Reed realised that for some reason he didn't want the others to know he'd taken an arrow during that mad dash. Reed didn't understand why but it wasn't his place to question – the Major always had a reason for every action and Reed trusted him implicitly, counted himself lucky to be on the Major's team.

"Get an early night guys," Lorne said, putting aside his mostly uneaten apple. Grabbing the water he stood. "We've got an early start tomorrow."

"Yes Sir," Reed and Coughlin replied immediately, Parish nodding as well as Evan left the table.

Lorne walked back to his room at a brisk pace. He felt ... off ... just a little but enough to notice. The heat in his arm was making him feel hot all over and his stomach was rolling in a faintly nauseous kind of way. Swallowing, he swiped open his door, heading straight for the bathroom.

His arm was red, and a little swollen, but didn't look infected. He just needed to get some sleep and he'd be fine. Re-bandaging his arm Evan dropped onto his bed, lying and looking up at the ceiling.

He felt like an idiot, trying to avoid something it was inevitable he'd have to deal with eventually. But it had only been a few weeks and he just wasn't ready to put his trust in someone new – someone he didn't know and hadn't really taken notice of until Doctor Weir had been injured. And look how that had turned out!

With a sigh, Evan rolled to lie on his left side. Closing his eyes he dropped off a few minutes later.

Doctor Keller finished her shift late enough to have missed dinner by a few hours. It was a too often occurrence, so much so that she'd begun to count on the kitchen staff to put something aside for her. When she got to the mess it was mostly deserted. Grabbing her tray Jennifer looked around, frowning when she noticed Major Lorne sitting at one of the few occupied tables. He was slouched in his chair, his head resting on one arm awkwardly, a mug sitting untouched in front of him. He looked tired ... and tense.

Making a snap decision she walked over. "Mind if I join you Major?" she said casually, putting her tray on the table to his right and pulling out a chair before he could respond.

"Ah ... yes, I mean no," Lorne almost stuttered before he regrouped. "Sure, you're welcome to sit there."

Smiling Jennifer began eating straight away, her attention not too obviously on him while she checked him out. She couldn't help but be the doctor, cataloguing symptoms, and the Major had enough to have her interest sharpening.

He was pale and giving off enough heat for her to feel it sitting next to him. His eyes were too bright and a little blood shot and he looked like even sitting at the table required more energy than he had. His entire body language screamed that he didn't want her there, didn't want her looking at him too closely. The only question was, why?

She didn't know the Major very well ... in fact, thinking about it now she realised she'd never actually attended to him in the infirmary, even after taking over from Carson. They'd had a couple of conversations, enough to nod to each other as they passed in the corridors, but that was it. Jennifer was sure that level of contact would increase now that she was officially the CMO – she'd have to start taking on some of the other roles Carson had done, including trips offworld. But now, trying to work Lorne out, Jenn realised she had no personal knowledge to fall back on.

"You're up late Major," she said casually. "Don't you have an early mission tomorrow?"

"Yeah, we do," Lorne agreed. "Something woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep." He didn't admit that he'd woken himself up, rolling over onto his injured arm.

"You couldn't sleep so you're having ...coffee?" Jennifer looked at him pointedly.

"I know," he shrugged and then stiffened, trying to cover it with a chuckle. "Coffee doesn't affect me – never kept me awake before."

"Lucky you," Jenn smiled. "I just look at caffeine before bedtime and I'm awake the whole night."

"That probably comes in handy for a doctor though," Evan suggested.

Jennifer laughed. "The notorious double shifts," she said in agreement. They lapsed into silence for a few moments before Lorne straightened in his chair.

"Listen Doc, I hate to leave you by yourself but I should get to bed," he said casually.

"Of course," Jenn nodded.

"Okay, well, see you around," he stood and was halfway to turning when her words stopped him cold.

"Before you go to your quarters Major I need you to report to the infirmary." Jennifer stood too, watching him and seeing the way he tensed again.

"Sorry?" Evan looked at her, his expression carefully blank.

"I need you in the infirmary," Jennifer repeated. "You don't look well."

"I'm fine Doc," Evan insisted. "I'd just be wasting your time."

"It's my time to waste Major," Jenn persisted stubbornly, "and if there's nothing wrong with you then you won't mind my checking you."

"Nurse Harper checked me out after the mission," Evan smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "It's all there in my file."

"I'm sure it is," Keller narrowed her eyes. "In fact I'm sure if I look closely I'll find that you've carefully dotted all your I's and crossed all your T's."

"There you go then," Evan turned again, intent on leaving despite her demands.

"Major Lorne, do I really need to bring Colonel Carter into this?" Jennifer asked quietly.

"I said I'm fine Doctor Keller," Lorne's tone was irritated and impatient now. "Just please, leave it alone, okay?"

"I can't do that," Jennifer moved closer and going on instinct, grasped his right forearm firmly. She didn't use any real level of force but he flinched hard, paling even more. He staggered as he tried to step back and she wasn't sure he wouldn't have fallen if she hadn't moved in to brace him. "Right, you're fine," she said impatiently, letting go of his arm and putting a hand to his forehead. "You're running a temperature too!" she confirmed her earlier suspicion, angry now. "That's it," she took his good arm this time, pulling him along behind her. "You're going to the infirmary now – just think about digging your heels in and I'm calling Ronon."

"Fine," Evan submitted to her urgings reluctantly. He was realistic enough to know the game was up, his mind already churning over how to explain himself without sounding like he was crazy. That and damage control ... maybe if he threw himself on her mercy she'd agree to keep this one between them. He was regretting that he'd never taken the time to get to know her – that might have come in handy right about now.

Jennifer kept silent all the way to the infirmary, not saying anything until she had him up on one of the exam beds. She looked at him expectantly, her eyes on his arm and then back on his face.

"Major," she said pointedly.

Reluctantly Evan pulled his shirt up and over his head, running his left hand through his hair after dropping it beside him. Down to his air force singlet, the condition of his arm stood out like a sore thumb.

When Jennifer saw the bandage, competent and freshly applied, she scowled. "You did this?" she asked, cutting the knot and slowly unwrapping it.

"Ah – yeah," Evan admitted reluctantly. She'd surprised him so far – he'd never given her much thought beyond the fact that she'd replaced Carson but had always assumed she'd be less forceful than she was being. Before moving into the CMO role Lorne would have said she was quiet, nervous, not exactly comfortable on Atlantis. Obviously she'd found some confidence in her new role.

"Well next time leave the doctoring to us Major," Jennifer returned sternly. She pursed her lips once the arrow puncture was revealed, probing the area surrounding the wound with a frown. Lorne couldn't help the pained groan that escaped nor the way he stiffened in protest, earning another disapproving look from Keller.

"Arrow?" she asked, getting a silent nod of confirmation. "And I bet you just yanked it out, didn't you?" Jennifer didn't wait for his response, muttering under her breath about stupid, macho flyboys even as she gently began cleaning out the wound. "You're lucky you didn't do even more damage," she said.

"I guess," Lorne returned, shifting uncomfortably. Her attentions were bringing the pain back to the surface big time, but he'd rather ask a Wraith on a date than admit that to her.

"In all likelihood this is more than half way to infected," Jennifer shook her head. "You realise that if we'd attended to this straight away you'd be fine now right?"

Evan shrugged, not meeting her eyes.

"Whatever possessed you to hide this Major?" Jennifer touched his arm, waiting for him to look at her. "This is irresponsible – and frankly you're the last person I'd expect to avoid treatment. At least according to your file."

"I know," Evan grimaced. "Look, can you do whatever needs doing first? I promise I'll explain after." When she looked at him sceptically he covered the hand she still had on his arm with his. "Please Doc?"

"Okay!" Jennifer said in exasperation. "I'll do what I can but then you're telling me everything ... and I do mean everything Major. No more hiding."

"Right," Evan agreed weakly.

"I didn't deliberately try to make this worse," Lorne began. Doctor Keller had cleaned out the wound, stitched it, bandaged it and then pumped him full of antibiotics. It galled to admit that he already felt better, although whether he was being admitted overnight or not depended on his explanation.

"So, no need to call in Doctor Heightmeyer then," Jenn commented.

"I'd really rather you didn't," Evan admitted. They were in her office and it was a lot smaller than he liked ... it made everything too ... intimate.

"So tell me then," Jenn invited in a gentle voice.

"I ah ... sure, okay," Lorne looked up at her quickly and then back down, focussing on his hands. "You've seen my file so you know that apart from the routine stuff we all have to do I haven't personally needed medical services all that often. Spent plenty of time here waiting for someone to wake up but I've been pretty lucky, most of the time."

"You don't like doctors," Jennifer concluded with a frown.

"No, yes ... I mean, that's not it," Evan explained. "I never spent a lot of time here as a patient but my team's had plenty of missions with a doctor along – protection detail. Mostly that was Doctor Beckett." He paused, waiting for Keller to make the connection.

"You and Carson were friends?" she asked uncertainly.

"Carson was friends with everyone," Lorne said with a fond smile. "He could charm the birds out of the sky."

"I know," Jennifer's voice was a little wistful as she met Evan's eyes. "That's how he managed to get me out here – he just turned on that Scottish brogue, gave me a cheeky grin, and I couldn't say no."

Evan smiled, easily able to imagine how it had gone down.

"So that's it? That's your explanation?" Jennifer's brow rose as he nodded wordlessly. "You and Carson were friends so you decided to not avail yourself of needed medical attention? You're gonna have to do better than that Major if you want to avoid me reporting this to both Colonel Carter and Doctor Heightmeyer."

"Look, I just didn't want to be here, okay," Evan said impatiently and a little defensively. "Carson was a friend and I'm not ready to start acting like he never existed!"

"Having a wound cleaned and stitched by another doctor doesn't mean you've forgotten Carson!" Jennifer shot back incredulously. "He wouldn't want you to risk your own health Major – what do you think he'd say if he were here right now?"

"What, you mean after he'd smacked the back of my head and then chained me to the nearest bed?" Lorne joked. Jennifer looked at him pointedly, waiting for a serious answer. "Fine, he'd have told me not to be so bloody daft," a hint of Scotland accompanied those last words and had Jenn smiling.

"Exactly," she said firmly.

"That's all well and good in theory," Evan said sadly, "but in reality every time I come in here I'm just reminded that Carson's gone." Before Jenn could say anything he was speaking again, his tone suddenly angry. "Do you know what I was doing that Sunday afternoon? Painting! I was standing on a balcony with a brush in my hand while he risked his life to save someone. That should have been my job, not his."

"You'd have preferred it to have been you?" Jennifer asked gently.

"Hell yes," Lorne said immediately. "It's my job to lay it all on the line to protect the civilians. It wasn't his. He should be here continuing what he started, not ...," Evan swallowed back the harsh description he'd been about to utter. "I come in here and it's all I can think about Doc. That and the what if's. What if I'd put away my brush and gone fishing with him instead?"

"And if you had, maybe we'd be mourning for a lot more people than we are," Jennifer pointed out. "That explosion could have happened in a populated area – without Carson around to make all the connections it probably would have."

"I know!" Evan said impatiently. Pressing his palms against his eyes he sighed. "I know that okay," he said, looking back to Jennifer. "It's not logical Doc ... I get that, I just ...," he trailed off, shaking his head. He didn't know how to explain it any better than he had but he needed to try. "It just seems like that was Sunday and as soon as it clicked over to Monday it was business as usual again. I know it has to be that way but we've lost a lot of people lately – including Carson and Doctor Weir – maybe I'm just a little low on being able to brush them all under the carpet so I can do my job as usual."

It was a long speech for the Major, and Jennifer listened carefully, to what he said and to what he didn't say. He'd surprised her ... displayed a level of emotion, of caring that she wouldn't have expected. Not that Jenn thought military men didn't have feelings, but she wouldn't have put them even in the middle of the sensitivity scale. Evan Lorne had dispelled that thinking by being a lot more sensitive than she would have given him credit for. That intrigued her ... had her looking at him closer than she ever had before.

"Before today, were there other times you avoided the infirmary, since Carson?" she asked lightly.

"I was always careful to get all the boxes ticked," Lorne admitted. "I think it's been luck so far that I didn't need anything else."

"And you don't have a problem with me personally?" Jennifer continued.

"What? No, of course not," Evan shot back. Realising how his behaviour could be taken he winced. "I don't have any concerns about your skills Doctor Keller ... I don't know you that well but you wouldn't be here if you weren't good at what you do."

"Well thank you Major," Jennifer said, amused. "Okay, this is what we're going to do. You're free to return to your quarters tonight and as long as your temperature is back to normal in the morning you're also cleared for your mission. I won't add anything apart from the injury and treatment to your record but that comes with conditions Major."

"Which are?" So far it sounded like he was getting off lightly.

"You submit to getting that arm looked at regularly until I say it's no longer required," Jennifer said firmly. "I'm happy to do that personally – you don't even have to come to the infirmary. In fact, we'll make it house calls only for you – until you're ready to look at the infirmary as just a place instead of a betrayal of Carson. And you talk to someone about grief - Kate or someone else you feel comfortable with. Deal?" She held out a hand, waiting for his reply.

"Deal," Evan smiled, taking her hand and shaking it firmly. Her grip was stronger than she looked and he felt a jolt as his eyes locked with hers for a moment. That close he could see that they were a mix of brown and green ... pretty. In fact he was suddenly noticing that Doctor Jennifer Keller was a very attractive woman. "Get a grip Evan," he told himself. They'd just had a difficult conversation – emotional – of course there was a level of intimacy attached to that but it didn't mean anything. "Doc, I don't know how to thank you for this," he said aloud.

"You can start by calling me Jennifer," Keller shot back. "I get more than enough of being 'Doc' around here but everyone insists on continuing. You're the first person I can actually make call me by my first name."

"Sure ... Jennifer," Lorne smiled. "I guess it's only fair that you get to call me Evan then."

"Very gracious of you Major," Jennifer said dryly.

"Evan," Lorne insisted, his expression sincere.

"Okay," Jennifer smiled. "I'm glad we had this little chat ... Evan. Now you need to get out of here and get some sleep – otherwise I will have to pull your Gate travel pass for tomorrow and we don't want that do we."

"No Ma'am," a smile played over Lorne's face as she frowned at that. Getting up he made it all the way to the door before stopping. Turning back he smiled. "Thanks Jennifer. For everything."

"Any time Evan," Jenn returned with a smile of her own.

Authors Note:

This was an idea that's been lurking in the back of my mind, now getting in the way of me continuing with Forlorn Hope. So I thought I'd just get it down quickly. This one also has it's beginnings in Kavan's Impressions SGA audio drama (I know! The whole thing just inspires me!!). There's a small section there where he talks about Keller that had me thinking about how it was they came to be friends. This story is my take on that – it's the one chapter for now but I could continue and make it a full story???