Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. Starts in Sakura's POV, there may be two versions for this story.

Healing

By: Apherion

Chapter 1: Coming Back

She woke from her dreams, losing sleep every night because of crying, this was not exactly the time she longed to awaken. Raking a hand through her travel-worn pink hair, she smiled wanly. She shook her head, looking at the time, and then falling upon the pillows once more. She would not let him control her happiness anymore.

He sat up in his sleep. His lips formed her name, but he did not say her name. It had been too long since he'd given up on her. He was too far gone for her healing hands. He would never admit how much he missed her. It was painful to tell her to leave, it tore something loose in his chest, and now he covered it with drinking more than ever.

"Kakashi," the woman in his bed whispered, sitting up to touch his skin. Her fingers were freezing and he shivered under the contact. Sakura's hands were warm.

"Go back to sleep Luna," he replied, touching her hand affectionately.

"Kakashi, please, stay in bed. I miss you under the covers," her words were so attracting, but he decided to evade them for the time being. It was two in the morning after all.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, I'm just thirsty." With that, he stood, and she fell into the bed disappointed.

In the kitchen, he fixed himself a glass of water. He consumed it quickly, actually parched. He raked a hand through his silver, untidy locks. How long had it been? How many years since her eligibility?

"Too long," his thought aloud, closing his eyes and clutching the edge of the sink with his well-practiced hands. He'd poured his tears down this very drain, and in doing so, he felt empty, no matter how many times he'd gotten drunk. He somehow had found Luna, and she was going through a horrible breakup herself.

"But for no reason I gave her up," he beat himself up. He never could pinpoint the reasoning in him telling Sakura to leave. 'It wasn't working out' ha! What a lot of shit…I was a cold-hearted bastard to her. I wasn't worth everything she was oh so willing to give me.

When he had finally become too weary to stand and his eyelids began to droop, he had finally given in to return to the empty bed. Luna with her beautiful black hair splayed on the mattress, had fallen asleep. He smiled and kissed the top of her head, like he used to do to Sakura, and laid down beside the one Sound ninja that had been kind to him.

"Sakura, wow, how have you been?" Ino was surprised to hear her on the phone.

"Don't sound so shocked, you'll hurt my feelings," Sakura laughed falsely into the phone. It was hard, talking to Ino, even after that damned five-year mission. I was wrong to jump at the longest mission I could, Sakura thought, massaging her temples. But it was healing, god was it healing.

"Well, how many years have you disappeared from the face of Konoha?" Ino asked with a begrudging tone.

"Five," Sakura replied in a hard voice, still massaging away.

"Not even a damn letter either," Ino muttered.

"I know, I'm sorry…I just…" Sakura could feel the guilt trip Ino was putting on her grow slightly heavier.

"You weren't that busy, if that stupid mission took that long, and as you're the head medic for the mission, you had some spare time…" Ino trailed off, and called a little further away: "Shika, I'm inviting Sakura for lunch, so you and Choji can go to that poker game with Kiba, Kakashi, and Luna!" Sakura felt as though she had detached herself from the conversation. Kakashi…Luna; was Luna his new girlfriend? No…no Kakashi wouldn't have gotten a new girlfriend, would he…it took him years to get over losing Rin.

The other voice called on her thoughts though. It has been years Sakura, five years. You left in agony to escape the pain, he dealt with it like a man—new girlfriend, no problems.

Sakura stared blankly at the walls of her family's kitchen. She let the voice crush her mental awareness. The pain began to settle familiarly in her chest and she caught herself on the wall with her hand that wasn't holding the phone.

"Sakura…are you there?" Ino's worried voice called to her as she almost started crying.

"Yes…I'm…here…" Ino began to invite her to the little get-together she was planning for the afternoon.

"Call it a celebration of your homecoming," Ino laughed lightly, gaily. Sakura heard herself agree with the luncheon, and begged Ino to let her get off—not to be rude, but for them both to be able to get ready for the party. Kakashi wasn't going to be there, thankfully.

"Shika, Choji, you made it!" Kakashi laughed, greeting his younger friends into his house.

"Yeah, Ino was being particularly clear. 'No sex for the next few months if you don't let me have this party,'" Shikamaru imitated his wife's voice perfectly, having had a good few years to practice it.

"You know she's bluffing," Kakashi said as he shut the door behind the two men. "That's why you suck at poker." Choji laughed, digging into the chips that were on the table that Luna had set up for the game.

"No…I don't think she was. She went three months without me in the bed. And I know no one 'helped' her." Luna giggled and sat down, shuffling two decks together. Not that anyone cheated or anything, but just to be sure. Neji wasn't allowed to come to the games anymore—he kept calling Kakashi on his bluffs.

"Where's Naruto, Shika?" Kakashi surveyed the room minutely—they never really played for money. They played for hits, favors, and shinobi chores more like. They had come up with a system for the chips. The white ones stood for hits, the blue stood for favors, and obviously, the red stood for chores. Usually the red were the most placed in the pot.

"Oh, babysitting, Hinata went to the party." That pretty much closed the conversation there.

"Luna's dealer again?" Kiba complained, showing up from somewhere inside the house, ruffling his hair. His faithful companion of the canine-kind was at home due to some 'problems'. Kakashi knew it to be the little female terrier that Temari (go figure) gave Kiba for his birthday.

"Yeah, she is Kiba, so who else is at Ino's party?" Kakashi asked, as they all settled into their seats, promptly five cards were passed out. Kakashi was looking at his hand. "What's wild Luna?"

"Queen…and…" she lifted the middle of the deck and laughed, "Threes," she smiled at him. Shit, he sighed, and laid down three cards. Almost everyone did the same.

"Umm…I don't know. Sakura called her this morning, so I know that she'll be there," Shika was too absorbed in his strategizing to really pay attention to the one thing he never was supposed to bring up around Kakashi.

If they only knew how to read his eyes, then they'd know exactly how much that name damaged his heart in just one second.

"Forehead girl!" Ino fondly called Sakura by her childhood name.

"Ino-pig," Sakura replied wryly. Looking over the woman's shoulders, she saw Hinata, Ten-ten, and Temari…Temari? Wow, Sakura thought, coming out of the doorway for Ino to shut the door. Hinata waved, smiling. Her navy blue hair was tied back, out of her face. She glowed exuberantly. A light existed in her eyes that she hadn't seen before.

"Hinata," Sakura said, astonished, "you really look good. You've changed somehow…I just…can't really pinpoint it." Sakura smiled and Hinata thanked her. The voice in her head whispered: Five years can do that to someone. You've been gone an unreasonable length of time without contacting anyone.

"You've changed too, Sakura," Hinata said, her voice still low and girly, but she held herself so differently; her speech was not hindered like it had been so long ago.

"I have, gee, I didn't notice," Sakura gently said, starting to laugh.

"I'm so glad that you've grown your hair back out!" Ino commented, picking up a strand of the fine, pink tresses.

"Me too," Temari said, looking less sinister by the second. "I know we weren't good friends when you left, but these two brag too much about you. And I have admired your courage." Temari's words were so sweet, but unfortunately, Sakura felt even worse hearing that someone had in fact envied her courage.

Running away from a man doesn't sound like courage to me, the little voice said artlessly.

Shut up, Sakura retorted, feeling ashamed of her self-imposed pariah.

"Sakura, did the mission go awry? Is that why it took so long?" Ino looked at her, eyes filled with a vehement desire to have her answers. Sakura studied analyzing aura befouling her friend. It radiated off Ino with such force, Sakura was coerced into talking.

"No, the mission…it didn't go all screwy. It was meant to take five years," Sakura said. However, she left out the fact that it could've lasted twelve years, but forces outside her power figured out how to defeat the enemy and return home in six years less. How unfortunate, Sakura had thought when she realized what had happened. But now that she had returned home…well, not really home, but Konoha at the least, she didn't want to go back. She wanted to stay and get to know everyone again. She wanted to tell them that she would find someone, and that she would settle down. She wouldn't be the last one to do everything.

"Did you lose anyone?" Temari asked, intrigued, almost greedy for information. This wasn't a welcoming party…

"No, no one died, no one was captured…well, at one point my apprentice thought she could go out at night without protection and a Sound-nin, a female, swooped in and snatched her, bearing her away as a cat would a mouse in it's teeth." Sakura especially loved the analogy.

"You regained her though?"

"Yes, we did, the Sound-nin fled, and we never saw her since. That was the first year into though. There were other idiots." And Sakura went on to explain in great detail about how Lincoln Kimishima had almost ruined the mission by sneaking into a camp of ninjas, stealing the schematics of a project that they were attempting to cut down and destroy, and getting caught.

"He was lucky," Sakura said as she drew to a close, "that Genma had been with him."

"Damn rookie," Temari said, and Sakura smiled, nodding.

"That's exactly what Genma said. Anyway, Genma had a team of ANBU with him, and we were glad that no one was killed. Everything in that clearing had been burned down, schematics and all. The shinobi had gotten away with few losses on their part, and it was back to the drawing board for us. To say the least, I was busy." They laughed appreciatively.

"But why didn't you return any of Naruto's letters? He wrote several to you, but you never replied to them." That was the question Sakura had been waiting for. Hinata was going to ask it eventually.

"I…I really don't know Hinata," Sakura said apathetically. "I guess I got so caught up in living away. It was therapeutic, getting to know several Nins that I had seen but never knew personally. Genma's like a brother to me, and I've grown fond of the others too."

"How 'fond' did you become with some of the men?" Ino archly questioned.

"Not very, I wasn't promiscuous if that's what you're implying," again, Sakura answered with as much gusto as a dead fish.

It was then that the door opened. Shikamaru, Kiba, Naruto with twins in his arms—wait. Sakura focused on Naruto and saw that they were hetero, a boy and a girl. The boy had the lightest navy hair on his head (granted there wasn't much hair), and the girl's hair was blond. They looked absolutely adorable with features from both their mom and dad in them. It took less than a second for Sakura to comprehend that Naruto and Hinata had married in her absence.

The other's then filed in afterward: Choji, a girl with raven hair that swirled around her like fire, who's name Sakura did not know and…

Kakashi.

The thought reverberated uninterrupted by that common voice that had only negative and rash comments. His name echoed irrevocably in the emptiness that filled her head. It was as though she was standing on the edge of a gorge and her voice quavered his name. Kakashi her voice said, and Kakashi the gorge answered. Repeatedly, unendingly, almost to the point of maddening; she was not ready for him to see her now, or vice versa.

She could see everyone clearly, but it was awful. Sound had escaped her, for she was too nonplussed by him showing his face. His name was all she could hear. She felt sick, woozy even. All of a sudden, she felt as though more of her weight was tipping to her left. Her equilibrium shook violently unable to sustain her from falling any longer.

Sakura could have reached her arm out to catch hold of something to keep her upright. She, however, stayed passive. Most unlike Sakura to turn the other cheek, though she was nothing like Ino. It felt like she was moving too slow for it to be reality.

The fall seemed to take longer than it should. As though her body was trying to fight the law of gravity in vain hopes; she just wouldn't hit the floor. If the resounding of his name didn't drive her insane, her being unable to make contact with the ground most certainly would.

Abruptly, everything crashed down on her. The voices were turned on, full volume. Exclamations about Sakura's return and how unexpected it was. Everything jumbled together, nothing made sense. Consequently, the weight of the atmosphere triggered gravity like a magnet and her head hit the floor with a powerful, sickening crack.

TBC...