HELP PLEASE! BY MYRTLE THE TYRTLE

It was a quiet day in the Gryffindor common room and the Golden Trio were crowded around a book Hermione had bewitched with the Protean charm so it mimics the Fanfiction-dot-net website. It is not a computer because no matter what you do to it, technology should not work at Hogwarts!

"So what shall we read first?" asked Hermione.

"Ooh, ooh! Let's search for that author we were reading about last night! You know, Myrtle the Tyrtle. Great author that one," exclaimed Ron.

"OK," said Hermione, and she tapped the book with her wand. "Hang on, what do you mean last night? You weren't slashing again, were you? Because it's just so overdone that it's almost unreadable anymore. I can't understand why anyone would continue to write it after the first 500 stories, because it just goes over and over and its always the same and…"

"Hermione, the page has loaded," interrupted Harry.

"Oh, right. Hey, it says NO RESULTS FOUND. That can't be right!"

Ron grabbed the book to look for himself. "Hmm… How about one of the titles of his fics. Try DUDLEY DURSLEY AND THE HIDDEN STAFF."

There were no results.

"HARRY BOTTER AND THE WHAT WHERE WHO NOW?"

Similarly, nothing.

"What about SURVIVOR: HOGWARTS."

Some results, but none were Myrtle's.

"OK what about his newest one WHO'S THE HALFBLOOD NOW?"

A blank page.

The trio also tried as many summary keywords as they could think of, but none of Myrtle's writing turned up.

"Why is this happening!" screamed Harry. "Why can't we find any writing by MYRTLE THE TYRTLE on Fanfiction-dot-net? He's not even in the Author Directory!!" (A/N actually, he is, under M on page 424!)

Many hours later, the trio were still looking. In an act of desperation, they had even resorted to the support website, to no avail. ("I really can't understand how this one works!", shouted Hermione frustratedly. And when she gets frustrated, theres gotta be something wrong!) It appeared Myrtle and his writing were lost in cyberspace.

A/N: So can you solve the mystery? If you know why Harry and co. can't find any works by their favourite author MYRTLE THE TYRTLE on please leave your answer in a review or email/PM the author MYRTLE at his user page. Coz he seriously can't find them anywhere!

MYRTLE