Title: Nothing
Pairings: Sort of implied Snape/Dumbledore...but not really.
A/N: This is my first attempt at writing a Dumbldore-Snape story. But don't be confused, it's not really Dumbledore/Snape, though that was my first intention. As I wrote this short one shot
I realized I was still a bit freaked out by the whole Snape/Dumbledore as a pairing. So even though I'm not quite ready to write it as Slash, I still wrote a fic, that some might say shows signs of a relationship, if you read between the lines.
Anyways, I hope I didn't completely fail at this.
The man was far too forgiving. Somehow for that I hated him.
I hated the way he seemed to always know what I was thinking. I hated that no matter what I did, he would always find a way to forgive me. I hated him because, after everything I did, after everything I said, after everyone I had hurt, he still cared for me.
"Severus?" a voice asked from somewhere behind me. It was him, it was him and I knew it. I didn't need to turn around and look at his blue eyes, and smell that scent of tea and lemons drops that followed him everywhere, I knew it was him.
"How was the meeting Severus?" Albus asked me. I sighed and looked down at my hand that the Dark Lord had burnt with his wand. Somehow something I did at the meetings was always unacceptable, and he would punish me. But never kill me.
The Dark Lord would never give me a break.
"Severus?" Albus asked as he placed a thin hand on my shoulder hesitantly. I pulled away coldly.
"The meeting was fine Headmaster. All is well. He suspects nothing." I told him my voice sounding crueler than usual. "I see." was all that the Headmaster said in reply.
"And you?" Albus said, as he gripped my shoulder more firmly in attempt to turn me around. I went only because I owed something to him. At least the nerve to face him. Even though I knew I didn't have it. "And you?" He asked again, placing his cold thin hand on my cheek. "Fine." I hissed through clenched teeth.
Albus sighed and let his thumb carefully stroke my cheek, before pulling back and stepping away. Not far away. Not far enough anyways. He was always close. Always too close. I could smell the lemon drops and tea. I could feel the eyes on me, even though I looked past him, and never at him.
"Was there something you wanted, Headmaster?" I asked.
It's like this after each meeting. He would come and ask me how it went, I'd give a short answer, and he would touch me, then I'd ask if there was a reason for him being here, and each time he'd reply...
"I just want to know that you are alright, my boy. "
I nodded, and turned back around to look out the window.
Something changed that night. That was supposed to be the part where he left. And I would slowly drift into my night time routine of pretending I would be able to sleep.
But he didn't leave. The damn man didn't leave. He took his chance and stepped behind me, as his smell drifted over me once more. "Headmaster..?" I had begun to say, but my words were cut off by his voice.
"I worry, Severus..." he told me. "I worry that you will be caught. "
His voice was full of unnamed emotion and I did not want to hear it.
I was nothing.
I was nothing, and he was something, and he had dared to worry about me. About someone who was clearly, noticeably nothing.
"Why would you worry?" I asked as I tried to shake off my anger. "I worry about all my friends. Severus. You are my friend, therefore I worry."
I wanted to turn around and curse him into the next century. I wanted to remind him, remind him of what I was, and that things were the way they were, because of the stupid choices I had made.
He worried because I was a fool.
He worried for me. And I was nothing.
"You shouldn't worry. You shouldn't care. "I snapped turning around and walking past him. "Severus..." Albus started to say, but I'd never let him speak another word. "I'm going to retire to my rooms, Headmaster." I told him.
"Yes, my boy, Sleep well. "He said as he bowed his head, and walked to the door. I watched him leave, never turning back to say something else.
We knew there was nothing else that needed to be said between us.
I went to the meeting. I did not die. I did my job.
Albus remained the Headmaster of Hogwarts and I remained Professor Severus Snape the Potions Master-death eater.
I was nothing compared to him. But yet he cared. Yet he took his time, to make sure I was alright.
But I was nothing.
Albus Dumbledore was far too forgiving. Somehow for that I hated him.