A/N: I'm really having a rough time with the end of this show. Yeah, it's just tv, but it was really a great ride.
I own nothing.
The Borgias S3E10
Illumination
Cesare waited in the next room for his sister to administer a deadly potion to her husband that would put him out of his misery. Time passed and he realized that all was too quiet; he wondered why Lucrezia had not returned to tell him, at least, that the deed was done.
He went to her bedchamber and saw her slumped over her dead husband and immediately feared the worst; he leapt onto the bed, across his dead brother-in-law's body, and, in a panic, tried to rouse her, fearing that she had done the unthinkable.
"Lucrezia? Lucrezia!"
"I will never wash this blood away..." she moaned weakly at him.
"Then I must..." he told her then. He propelled himself away from her and then returned with a cloth and a bowl of water; he ministered to her then, speaking softly and with comforting resolve as he began to wipe the blood gently from her face. "You will be naked...clean...bloodless again—and mine..." he promised her and then took her into his loving embrace.
"Cesare..." she said his name as if in a fever.
"Sister, why would you do this?" he murmured into her neck as he stroked her hair.
"Because we are doomed," she whispered her declaration at him.
"Don't say that—I love you."
"And I, you, my love. But it is true."
"No—I won't believe that..." he said then, his voice raw and full of defiance.
"Of course you won't—you are a man, Cesare; full of pride and ambition-you are destined to break my heart, brother." Lucrezia's voice was full of exhaustion; when Cesare rose up to look into her eyes they seemed fixed on something far away from them both.
"This is not you, sis; you are a Borgia—you're stronger than this," he leveled at her. "You're in shock...you have been through too much—you are not yourself...I must take you away from here..." he made to pick her up and carry her away but she put her hand to his arm to still him, then looked very definitely into his eyes.
"This is me, Cesare. And I am tired, so very tired; of being my father's pawn; of always saying goodbye to you. If I could I would go with you; fight with you...but what would that net me in the end? A golden cage, like the Tigress chained below the Basilica? The world is not ready for her; and I would be her, if I could; but the world is not ready for me, either. This world of man is ready for no woman who is as strong as he is."
"But you are strong—you are a wonder—you are the woman that I love, Lucrezia...you are so loved..." Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes as he tried desperately to stave them away.
"Then love me now," she begged him softly.
"Not like like this...not like this..."
"Yes, like this. I have seen things, brother, as I lay here praying for death and deliverance from my heartbreak; deliverance from this prison—the kingdom—our father endeavors for himself that would entomb us and only serve to make our love more impossible than it already is. I have seen my destiny...and yours. All we've ever had are moments...and we've wasted so many—I will not commit that crime now...please...do not ask that of me..." she finished through trembling lips and her own silent, freely-flowing tears.
"Lucrezia..." he whispered her name tormentedly then buried his face in her soft golden hair.
"I lied to this poor boy, dead beside me now—you are, and always have been—the joy and love of my life, Cesare; the only one who would dare to try and understand me; love me as I really am. Take me away from here and love me now, for the last time..."
"No, not the last time..."
"Yes, brother, the last time; whether it be an hour of loving or days, there are simply not enough left to us; but of what there is I want to be consumed by you; I want to be free to be overwhelmed by you and return my favor to you in kind, for your next campaign will take you away from me forever."
Cesare rose up from her then sat beside her and took her into his arms. "What is this destiny of which you speak, sis?" he asked her, his voice sounding almost angry. He took her chin into one hand and tilted it to make her eyes meet his. "That you would have the gift of Divinity would surprise me not—but tell it to me, this destiny, so that I may make it ever lead to you..." he shook her gently, hoping that it would help to dislodge the truth from her even as he was afraid of what that truth could be.
"I can only tell you, my love, as much as I would have that be our reality, as much as I desire that wish...our destinies will never be thus..."
"No..." he hugged her to himself desperately.
"You know this deep in your heart, Cesare; it is no matter of Divine Illumination—it is simply a truth; to see it all you need do is open your eyes, brother, as I have done." She reached for him, at last, and cradled him in her embrace. "Take me from here and bathe me; cleanse me; and then let us exorcise this curse that is our love for one another and send it out of our souls so that we may both survive each other; for I took no poison, my love, to die alongside this boy; there is no poison greater...more potent...than my love for you, Cesare Borgia, and it is that which is killing me now and nothing else."