Just a song fic of Jesse McCartney: Just So You Know. The writer makes no money from this story and doesn't own the song or the Host. This is my first fic, please be kind. The original storyline had been rearranged and altered slightly to fit the song and what I thought was a more interesting ending.
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
Cause I don't know how to make the feelings stop
Ian remembered the feelings of his hands around its' throat. Should he really have done that? He had seen the way it had stepped in to protect Jared, or was that just left over feelings from the host body?
Just so you know
This feelings takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
He had followed as Jeb led it on a tour. It was strange, it was the enemy and yet…. It seemed to call to him, something about her. No, he shook his head firmly, IT. Jeb glanced in his direction, raising an eyebrow at his strange behaviour. As Ian contemplated these strange alien feeling, and he realised he was jealous of Jared. Strangely enough, he wanted her to look at him with that wistful longing expression. He balled his fists at the memory. Yes, he was definitely jealous.
Though you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know
He knew deep down she was going to be killed soon, whether by Jebs' gun or his brother rage, no matter what Jeb had said to him. Could he let that happen? These strange protective feelings overwhelmed him and he found himself acting as her body guard, no not her, Wanda.
It's gettin' hard to
Be around you
There's so much I can't say
And do you want me to hide the feelings
And look away
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
Cause I don't know how to make the feelings stop
Just so you know
As he got to know Wanda, he felt the longing intensify… But how the hell do you tell an alien parasite you're in love with her? She clearly has some human-like feeling, he'd seen how she was protective and motherly she was towards Jamie. How she glanced at Jared even though he hated her.
This feelings takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Though you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know
He decided it was best to just he her friend. He could be kind to her, make her life better now that she was firmly a part of this last post of humanity. He still held her hand, put his arm around he shoulder, but Wanda being not quite human never seemed to connect his behaviour to the fact he was crazy about her. He was surprised Mel had not told her, but then again Mel had her strange distant relationship with Jared to be preoccupied with.
This emptiness is killin' me
I'm wonderin' why I've waited so long
Lookin' back I realize it was always there to be spoken
Now I'm waitin' here
At the soccer game, he watched her run, clearly an activity they (Wanda and Mel) clearly loved doing. He still dreamed about their kiss, even though Wanda was confused and had an angry human inside her head, he was sure it would work out. He just had to be patient even though it was slowly killing him as he watched her body respond to Jared and not him.
This feelings takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Jared kissed her! He didn't care it was only because Mel had disappeared. He was so angry. Stuff this being patient, he was going to tell her tonight. She was not going to spend one more night with that, that idiot…
Though you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
She said she loved me! He didn't care if it was because she thought she was leaving Mel's body soon. Ian would never let her die or blast off for another planet. She belonged here with him, he was her… partner. Yes, he thought as he held her tightly. He would come up with a plan in the morning, maybe even ask that old crazy Jeb for ideas.
Been waitin' here
Just so you know
I just gotta say it all before you go
Just so you know
I jerked awake, she was gone and all he could think was "no, no, no, not her". In a blind panic he ran through the black caves with all his strength praying that he wasn't too late. If he was, he knew he wouldn't be able to go on. He could sneak Jeb's gun and … He saw the light of the hospital room and heard angry voices. He burst into the room to see Jared holding a knife to Docs neck, tears streaming down Docs face as he pulled the stunningly beautiful ribbon from Mel's neck.
He didn't remember ripping the lid off the cryo-tank. Only as he cradled her precious tank to his body did he realise he needed a plan and fast. It was Jamie in the end who suggested kidnapping another soul and using its body. No-one mentioned the human whose body it was, they knew from Jodi now that not all bodies retained their human mind buried in there.
He carried the tank everywhere with him while the others were on the raid. How long was it going to take them to find a suitable body? How long would he have to bare this agony of separation from his Wanderer? His arms had taken on a life of its own, always cradling the tank no matter whether he was doing chores, sleeping or even bathing, now that had been a challenge!
His sleep was interrupted abruptly as he felt a hand shaking him awake. He moaned groggily, worn out from all the stress and wondering who had dared bothered him. On squinting up at the tan face he let out a shriek of pure joy. Jamie took a big step back but he grabbed Jamie's shoulder and managed to get out his garbled message to the startled kid.
Jamie, his eyes alight, confirmed they had found a host and she had not woken up in the four hours since Doc had taken the other soul out. He bolted for the door, Jamie hot on his heals. Doc explained to Ian, once he calmed down somewhat that none of them could stand to wait a moment longer and he would attempt the implant as soon as Ian was ready with Wanderer.
He cradled her small body as he gently slipped her into her new home. As Doc sealed the wound and turned he over, Ian admired the silvery tint to this body's skin, he smiled at Jamie, the kid had made an excellent choice.
As Wanda came round, she smiled as she focused on his face and he felt like his heart was glowing with joy as she whispered his name in her new high pitch voice. He thought it was cute. She then seemed to remember something and had a very uncharacteristic screaming match with Doc about his failure to keep his promise. Ian felt his arms tighten around this new fragile body as he thought about her ever leaving him.
The argument over, she snuggled into Ian's arms. Jamie and Jared stepped forward to greet her but she just shrunk into me and glared at them. She even flinched away when Jamie tried to hold her hand. I thanked god again that she was not pushing me away.
Mel stepped forward then and requested a private talk with Wanda. I tried to refuse to leave but one whispered request from Wanda and I found myself nervously pacing the tunnel as I waited for the two to finish.
It seemed to take hours til I heard Wanda call for me. She and Mel both had red faces and Mel sighed, exasperated with Wanda. Wanda ignored him and held her arms out to me. Mel informed him that Wanda was pissed with everyone else and wanted only Ian to touch or talk to her until she could deal with this whole not dying situation. Ian studied the hard set to that soft angel-like face and decided if Wanda wanted to have a hissy fit, she was entitled.
Wanda seemed to calm down and held he arms out for Ian again. Mel left, casting a wistful glance at Wanda. Ian wondered if she missed having the constant company on her head. He cradled Wanda's new body tightly to him and took her back to his room. A big yawn escaped him and Wanda curled up on their bed, patting the spot beside her. He sprawled out beside her and quickly fell deeply asleep.
After what felt like the best rest he'd ever gotten, he felt someone peppering his face and neck with kisses. He moaned at all this attention and opened one eye. At the joyful contented expression on her face he rolled them over and returned the gesture. He didn't know how the future was going to go but with his Wanda back was looking forward to a long life with her beside him.
The end.