/Hey guys, I really tried on that one. Hope it was worth the effort and you all will enjoy this adventure!/

Guvno arrived in Morthal. His horse was exhausted and he just wanted to have a drink and a bed in a warm inn.

He stopped by the stable and attached his horse with a rope. Then he entered the Inn and everyone got quiet.

He approached the innkeeper and said:

"Sup nigga, could you give me some grape juice, please? I'm thirsty."

"It's okay mate, I can give you some grape juice. I see you're very strong. How about you destroy the evil that haunts Morthal and I will pay you in gold and dick suckage?"

"Sounds interesting alright, what is that evil?"

"For months, the people of Morthal have been shitting themselves at night, and also we shit twice as much as we would before."

"Sounds like something you should ask PewDiePie for helping you with, not me."

"Why PewDiePie?"

"Cuz he's white, and I'm black."

Then Guvno took off his hood and everyone saw that he was indeed black.

"Holy fucking shit!" some kid screamed, "He's black!"

"Children and women, save yourselves, run!" Some guy shouted and all women and children ran away.

Guvno was surrounded by five strong men.

"Guess we will have to penetrate that black ass of yours!"

They jumped on him but he used Rasengan to knock them back.

They got up from the floor and took off their pants. They aimed their asses at Guvno and started shooting shits at him. Guvno dodged one shit after another, but their speed was increasing and soon he was all covered in shit.

He fell down on one knee and the guys surrounded him again.

"Let's kill this motherfucker!" some guy said and pulled out a machine gun out of his ass.

"No, let's cook him and serve to the jarl! She will be pleased!" some other guy suggested.

"I've got a better idea." The innkeeper said and took out a nuke bomb from his pocket. "Let's destroy the whole fucking Tamriel right now!"

"YEAH!" the other guys confirmed that they like the idea.

"Not so fast, bitches!" Guvno shouted and used Kage Bunshin No Jutsu, a jutsu so powerful that it summoned a million copies of Guvno, and they all destroyed and ate the guys at the inn.

The clones disappeared a moment later and Guvno took a shit on the ground. Then, he ate some burrito which he had hidden in his horse's ass. Then he got on his horse and rode away, away from this place, away from the pain, away from the past.

He remembered his childhood, when the demons from Oblivion attacked and raped his whole family. Ever since, he hated people and animals and plants and rocks and water and Oreo cookies and Sony headphones and Instagram.

He arrived at his home by the morning, had a quick fap to hentai gangbang videos, then had another one and another one, and then he ate some apples cuz they are healthy and delicious and then he went to sleep.

Next day, he woke up at 12 pm, then he took a shit, then he ate some quesadilla for breakfast, then he took another shit, then he played some Skyrim, then he ate a pizza with ham and mushrooms, then he took another shit, then he watched some iCarly on TV, and then he ate some burgers and took another shit and went to sleep.

Next day it was all the same, except this time he took five, not four shits.

THE END

Guys I think I have discovered something worth a Noble prize! Just read this guide!

How to make your snot smell like onion:

Take a bun and cut it in half.

Smear butter into it and place ham and cheese on it.

Place some onion rings on top.

Grab the bun and eat it.

Pick your nose. Tada!

Oh wait, I just realized that it's not your snot that smells like onion, it's your fingers. But it's still worth the Noble prize, m I rite?