Annie

To be honest, yes, I got a little more offended than I probably should have. So, yes, I said some things that hit him pretty hard. But it was… weird… because he was playing Jeff… so I guess I expected him to maintain his composure. Even if "Jeff" were to defend Abed, what reason would he have to totally lose his cool like that? Oh, right, the fact that he was a character being played by Abed himself. I'd obviously forgotten that one when I decided to refer to Abed as a selfish ass, among other things. And I'd like to say, even if the shouting match and other repercussive events hadn't transpired… I'm really sorry for talking to him that way.

When he pushed me, I barely knew what happened. An enraged Abed was breaking forth from the character he had been playing. It was sorta like… seeing Jeff standing there, and a pair of disembodied Abed-arms flying out of him to shove me full-force. I was knocked off my footing and hit the wall a few feet behind me, banging my head pretty hard and slinking onto the floor. I wasn't injured or anything, but I couldn't help but feel terrified. I thought he was going to come after me. Hell, I didn't even have time to convince myself otherwise! His fists and teeth were clenched, and he stepped toward me… the sight was alarming to say the least. Even thinking about it in retrospect is almost disturbing. Because he wasn't totally Abed, but nor was he totally "Jeff." He was a confused half-and-half character bursting at the seams with blind fury, not comprehending who he was, let alone what he was capable of.

I could hardly breathe in that moment, and I realize now that I had been shaking, and, well, doing that eye thing. Everyone seems to think that I do it on purpose to be manipulative, but it's really nothing more than a physical reaction! It happens when I'm upset, or scared, and I don't know, I guess it gives me some kind of power over people… whatever. In any case, I'm lucky my eyes fluttered this time, because who knows what Abed would have done if I hadn't?

Suddenly, Abed transformed fully back into himself. His fists opened up and his fingers splayed in what looked like something along the lines of horror. His brow furrowed as he looked down at me, stunned and wide-eyed. I watched him as he backed away, fidgeting and whimpering. Now more concerned about his well-being than mine, I said his name. All he could manage was to blurt out, "It was Jeff. It wasn't me, it was Jeff." His hands were kind of freaking out, trying to grab hold of… well, anything. It was almost like he was looking for stability, literally. They ended up finding his head and grabbing his hair as his whimpering approached a scream. This was enough for me to approach him.

I'm not sure what to call the little episodes that Abed has sometimes. I don't even know if they're the same thing each time, or if this was even one of them. I put my hand on his back, trying to show him he hadn't really harmed me, and the episode turned into more or less of a panic attack. He started to hyperventilate, which at least is less unsettling than screaming. Soon, however, he was on the floor.

Troy

I was driving when Annie called me, so I didn't answer. Then I got a text, and I read it when I got to a light. I know you're not supposed to do that, but I always get nervous that I might be missing an important message. Especially with the way Abed's been lately.

Man, I worry about him. Well, I worry about him like, for now. It feels bad when he's feeling bad - that kind of thing. But I think this is just something he's going through. I mean the dude's usually more on top of things than I am… I guess I'm just trying to say I know he'll be okay. He just needs the people who care about him to keep his feet on the ground right now.

So the text was like, "Call me asap," and that really freaked me out. So I pulled into a Dunkin' Donuts parking lot… and I called Annie, and she sounded really upset… started telling me how Abed had gotten mad and pushed her in the Dreamatorium. I'm starting to think that place is bad for him. And that sucks, because… that… that's kind of where we bro out, you know? …guh, no, I'm not crying. This isn't about me. What was I saying?

Um, so Abed was freaking out, and Annie said to come home immediately. I would have even if she hadn't said to.

Britta

I have a feeling I wasn't the first person they called. Jeff is everyone's go-to guy, which is weird, because he isn't available to be that guy half the time. But I think he was probably who they called first. I might have been second, since I'm a Psych major. But even if not, I get it. I'm not the first person I'd call if I needed someone to help… my…self. Whatever. I care about Abed and I'd be over there in the drop of an eye even if I were the last person they thought to call.

I didn't get much of what Annie said over the phone, but I inferred that Abed was in some kind of trouble. Troy opened the door for me when I got there, and the look in his eye was borderline painful to look at. He's so connected to Abed that he seems to be in physical agony when his friend is having an episode. As shitty as this whole situation was, that part of it was almost…

Never mind. I don't know what I'm talking about. But anyway, I come in, and Abed is lying on the couch bracing himself and breathing funny. Annie was kneeling on the floor, trying to take his hand, saying his name gently… But his fists wouldn't unclench and his widened eyes wouldn't focus on her. Troy was sniffling. I think he'd probably done all he could. Maybe they were taking shifts. I kneeled down silently next to Annie, and then I heard the whole story.

I don't think the Dreamatorium is a healthy thing for Abed to be in very often. I don't know, it seems like it just encourages the self-destructive habits he has. Avoiding reality… and escaping his own identity… It seems like those are his first option with how to cope with anything. But they always make things worse. It's a vicious cyclone.

I think when he was lying there on the couch, something in him was desperately trying to avoid facing us after he'd done something he felt was so terrible. He needed to know we forgave him.

Abed

I don't know how it happened. I guess I was momentarily disregarding real-world consequences because I got too immersed in the simulation. I was Jeff, so none of it was real anyway. Nothing is real a large percentage of the time. Lately, at least.

We were arguing, and I was mad. And I was just following the story. I was playing a character who was mad, and angry characters often lash out physically. But it happened fast. And Annie was on the floor, and she'd been hurt, and she was shaking, and it was my fault. It was technically Jeff who'd pushed her, but I was the one controlling him. It was my muscle behind the push, and it was my anger.

I don't know what happened next. The next thing I remember was trying not to gag when my throat was dry from breathing so fast.