So just dropping this here. Enjoy!
xoxo Lexi1989
A Letter to Natsume Hyuuga's New Girlfriend.
Hey,
We haven't met, but by now I'm pretty sure he must have told you a thing or two about me and our history. Most probably something cringe worthy on my part. I would expect nothing less, judging by the way that we broke up. I hope you finish this letter before chucking it into the trash bin.
It's been six months to the day now. And I remember it quite clearly. We'd been together for quite some time. Since high school, sophomore year, but I've known him longer, having been a classmate of his since our elementary years at Gakuen Alice. Having spent half of my life with him, we'd naturally begun to plan out our future. We started small; Where to go to college, what course to take. Then when we graduated, we decided to get an apartment together in the city. We got jobs and dreamed of getting a house with white picket fences and a middle class sized swimming pool somewhere in the suburbs. Then we talked about our wedding. He wanted a simple garden wedding with close friends and family in attendance while I wanted a big grand old church wedding. We argued for awhile about it, but decided we'd cross that bridge when we get there (which we never did), before we talked about how many babies we would like. Baby names and where to send them to school. Typical dreams and aspirations that couples in a long running relationship talk about.
I hope you're not yet bored with this brief history of our relationship that I'm sure you don't give a shit about. You're going to get there with him. Sooner than later. But that's not why I'm writing to you now. I'm confident he told you why we broke up. I could give you all the petty reasons I'd thought of, but it all comes down to the bottom line. I wasn't happy.
You could say I'm crazy, right? How could I not be happy being with Natsume Hyuuga, attorney at law? One of the best in his field. Not only was he smart and skillful at his job, he was a pro at it. And he's drop dead gorgeous with a face like a model and a body like an Adonis. Well, we just sort of grew apart I guess. I can't really explain it but what I can say is this: If I wasn't happy then ultimately he wouldn't be. At least not if he stays with me. And I know he deserves so much more than what I could give him. He needed someone who would fully appreciate him for who he was and who would be so irrevocably in love with him. Someone who didn't want to change him but could incite the change in him naturally.
That's where you come in and take center stage. You are my ex's new girlfriend.
A mutual friend of ours from back in high school that I kept in touch with, had a slip of the tongue and mentioned seeing you both at the supermarket. She told me that he looked happy. And that you were moving in together. I expected to feel a pang of jealousy or hurt, but surprisingly, I didn't. What I felt was curiosity. And so here I am, like creepy exes go, stalking his Facebook and Instagram profiles six months after I unfriended and unfollowed him. I promised I would never visit his social media profiles after we broke up. Looks like I'm breaking that promise to myself now. Well, promises were made to be broken anyway.
The status of your relationship was informed to me last week. It took me six and a half days to debate with myself if I should be doing this. I felt like I should just let it go and bury the past. But I had to know what you look like. Desperately. I don't know why I wanted to know, I really was just that curious.
And so with a deep breath, I logged on and found his profile first. It's shocking how much he's changed. He used to loathe social media stating that he didn't need private things broadcasted. And he would never post unless goaded into it. Or if it was about manga or anime. That was his limit. Nothing about relationships, minimal pictures unless tagged. Now his profile is filled with pictures. Selfies of the both of you having fun at different places, pictures of you with his family whom I've met and hung out with too. I cannot put into words the experience of discovering your ex, someone with whom I envisioned my future, waiting for me down the aisle, divulged every secret and hopes while intertwining our bodies beneath my floral sheets – was dating someone else. Someone new. Someone so opposite from me. I expected to be yearning for him and our memories, and hatred towards you despite the fact that I chose to leave him and revoke all my rights in his life.
I take another deep breath and decided I'd had enough of his profile and hovered the mouse over to your name. I needed to know more. Why? I don't know. Maybe I could just say that I want to see if you were prettier than me, or sexier than me? Like most exes do. Like other women, I'm supposed to be conditioned to be in competition with you; that I'm supposed to assume that you, as the new apple of my former love's eyes, are actually clingy, ugly and snobby. That I'm supposed to scroll through every inch of your profile and enumerate all the reasons of why you aren't right for him.
If asked to describe you, even if we haven't met, I could say that you are lovely. Simple and endearing. You post pictures of the stuffed animals he buys you and the roses he presented you on your birthday. I scroll through your profile pictures: You with your friends at graduation, you with your family on New Year's Eve, you making funny faces with your dog, you with him. In your cover photos I found you're a fan of the same bands I used to rave about in high school but long outgrew. I guess I could say growing up changed me.
I focused on my career, and making a name for myself and outgrew the person he fell in love with. I wanted more. And I let him go. My best friend catches me stalking and starts hating on you. I stop her. Because it will do no one any good. She tells me that I'm weird. That I'm supposed to hate you. But to be honest, hatred for your ex's new partner is just a defense mechanism. It's supposed to prevent more hurt after a gut-wrenching break up like Natsume and I had. If I were to hate you for being his new girlfriend, then it would only end up with me wallowing in my misery and most likely doing something stupid like drunk call him if I get wasted and badmouthing you to all our common friends while you then become the victim and me, the bitter venomous ex-girlfriend. And you don't deserve to be treated like that. It's not like you started seeing him while he was still with me.
After she left, your picture is still on my screen. It's a candid one, with you smiling into the camera while he looks at you. And you know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words? I'd say this one says a million words all at once. I can see that he is happy. He looks at you in a way that he never did with me. And I realize that maybe I left him because he and I were never destined to be together. That I left center stage in his life so you could take my place. And you seem to be doing a very good job at it.
I'm thinking this is the only place where our lives would intersect. Being a part of his history. Me in his past, and you as his present and possibly his future. I'd like to think that beyond this fact, we might have gotten along pretty well and maybe even, became friends. Highly unlikely considering that we're mostly opposites but all of this is conjecture on my part really.
The one thing I know now after looking at your pictures, is that you are not just a title anymore. You're more than just Natsume Hyuuga's new girlfriend. You, Mikan Sakura, are a living person, who deserves happiness, and love. And I sincerely hope you've found it.
Please take care of him. I've lived through my choice and made peace with it. And for all it's worth, I wish you both well.
Yours in good will,
Sumire Shouda.
P.S. Should we meet on the street one day, don't be afraid of me. I may look fierce but I've always got a soft spot for Natsume inside. I wish you all the best.
So how was it? Surprised? Do you think Sumire should send this to Mikan? XD
Let me know what you think!
Ja Ne!
Read, Favorite and Review!
xoxo Lexi1989