Alister wiped the mirror clear from all the grease and dirt it seemed to have collected from their pruning and preening.
Hell, was that his face?
Alister squinted.
I've gotten thinner...
He shook his head, shook the image away and sighed, glancing down at the useless items in front of him. All from him.
His Lord and master.
Dartz.
Dartz...
He stretched his arms up, his thin body barely noticeable in the mirror. He had gotten so much thinner. Yet he wasn't hungry... he was never hungry...
Master makes sure of that...
He turned away, looking at the soft items of clothing that lay on his huge bed.
I have to wear this... Dartz said...
Alister looked at the velvet red jacket he'd bought him, too gaudy but...
I'm your puppet...
Everything around it wasn't his... it was his master's... He hated this... all of this... the stuff, it wasn't his! It wasn't him...
But I love it.
Everything he needed was his, he had everything. Damn Valon. Damn Raphael. They didn't know what he needed. What he wanted.
Let them smirk at me, at least I have someone who loves me... who loves me...
Alister shivered, his own thoughts taking him away from the room... far beyond... to a world where...
I get food...
His was rocketed back to earth by his own thoughts once again, his mind desperately trying to untangle his life.
I'm fed...
I don't starve and beg on the streets...
He straightened his jacket.
I need this. It might not be the life I imagined, but...
The door slid open, "Don't you look nice..." Dartz raised his eye brows. He moved over to where Alister stood, now donned in the velvet. He lowered his eyes respectlfully to his master, wishing he could in someway find the courage to look up, look in to his deep, controlling pupils...
Dartz draped an arm across one of his shoulders, clutching the other.
He looks majestic... He is a good man. He is. Mother would be proud.
I have to remember that...
Their reflection glinted off the mirror in the early afternoon sunlight, castinga rainbow across the floor to where there feet stood, so close together, alsiter could feel the warms sink in to his feet, feel the cold grow up through his heart...
Is this really us? I feel almost sorry... Do you feel sorry?
Alister never knew who he was talking to... but there must be someone... out there... watching his life.
Someone.
Anyone.
He marvelled at the amount of glitter surrounding them, momentarily forgetting Dartz. It was amazing. The amount of money that had been converted in to worthless trinkets for him surrounded them. The amount of glamour. The amount of worthlessness.
Amazing.
I don't want any of this... yet I have it... Haven't I done well for myself?
"Haven't you done well for yourself?" Dartz muttered in to his ear.
We're the same... We think the same.
He said the same thing yesterday.
The day before.
It's easy.
Alister reached up, clinging to his master's arm.
Look at my hopes. Look at my dreams...
"I've spent an awful lot on you, you know..." Dartz brushed Alister's hair away from his ear, leaning in closer.
Yes... He has... I should be thankful... Dreams, hopes, what do they matter, they're only thoughts...
"Say something. Say anything."
Silence.
Dartz leaned in closer, the breath lingering round his ear. "Anything.W
"I love you." Alister whispered, You pay my rent.
Dartz smiled. "Good boy..."
You pay my rent.
Xxxxx
Alister looked at his phone as it shook in his hand, he had taken to clinging on it, so he could call for the help he knew he was bound to need at any moment.
Yet when he needed help, he never called...
Amazing...
Dartz.
He answered obediently.
"Alister, are you nearly done?"
"We're nearly done, master." Valon answered for him, glaring at Alister, who just stood, tired, weary of everything around him.
"I was talking to Alister," Dartz tutted impatiently, "but thank you Valon. Be home soon, Alister." The phone went dead.
Alister stared at the phone...
Home so soon?
"What's wrong Alister? Missing master Dartz?" Valon cocked his head to the side and grinned.
Alister looked up, distracted, "What?"
"Shut up, Valon." Raphael came back, "You don't have anything to do with their relationship."
Valon scoffed, "Relationship. Poor Alister's besotted with the master. Dartz probably can't stand him!"
Am I?
Alister looked at Valon, then simply nodded.
"Valon." Raphael warned.
Alister moved along quietly back to the bike, scuffing his shoes along the ground.
He's taken me to expensive restaurants, I've been seen out with him, I remember him, when I first saw him, those eyes, those brilliant eyes... I was so famished...
Of course.
Of course I'm besotted...
"If he wants help, why doesn't he ask?" Raphael looked after him.
"Obvious." Valon shrugged, "He doesn't want help."
"Look at him Valon." He sighed, "He's been broken. It's liek Dartz has beaten him in a game he didn't want to play in the first place."
They're saying things... about... me? Me? If raphael knows... I'm unhappy, what if he tells Dartz...
Alister's mind raced through every possibility of every horror that could happen.
Of course, I'm not... I can't be unhappy...
Alister turned, "We never argue! It's easy!" He stared directly at Raphael, "He never even cares what money... the currency... he... he spends so much, I have to do something for him."
Raphael stepped towards him, "It's alright." He laid a hand on his shoulder.
Alister flinched.
Raphael frowned, "You know, you don't have to do anything, Alister."
Don't...
"Unless you want to."
Please, just... take me away.
"As long as you're happy, Alister. It's all ok. Are you happy?"
No...
"Yes."
Raphael nodded, smiled a tiny smile of encouragement. "Then it's fine."
Alister looked at the clear blue sky, that was so much like his master's hair...
I love him. He pays my rent...
Xxxxx
My bed is so uncomfortable... when he's not there, when I'm not his puppet... I love it... Do I? Do I really? I'll turn to my left, what can I see? The never ending darkness. No... it's not never ending, because I'm in my room... My room has walls, walls to keep me, walls to stop the darkness, the sun will come up, one day... soon... the darknes will stop. I'll turn to my right, what do I see? There's the outline, of my door. I can see the handle, why can't I sleep?
I can hear my heart.
It hurts.
It kills...
"Alister?"
His masters voice broke his thoughts in to pieces. They shattered like glass on to the floor all around him making shrieking noises in his head.
"Are you awake?"
No... I'm never truly awake...
"Never mind..." Dartz pulled his robes off, carelessly dropping them on to the floor and climbing in to bed, gently pushing Alister closer to the edge.
He'd untied his hair, allowing it to spread out around him.
Like a shallow sea, a beautiful sea...
Dartz shook his head making his hair swirl about him, he brushed it back and lay his head on the pillow, his huge frame putting him higher up than the ball of Alister that lay silently beside him.
Alister slowly rolled, his cheek against his master's chest, Dartz instinctively curled an arm around him, already falling asleep.
Look at the two of us, in sympathy, yet sometimes ecstasy... Words mean so little, and money less. When you're lying next to me... But look at my hopes; look at my dreams, the currency we've spent...
Dartz turned his head as he drifted off, resting it atop Alister's, the warmth had been the most surprising thing to Alister at first, this man, not a friend, not family, a man who was warmer than fire, yet colder than ice, Alister had to do so little but for so much...
He took one last look up at him...
I love you... You pay my rent...
He felt himself drifting off to sleep too, Dartz's sleep was infectious.
What am I?
Why am I...?
I love you...
Do I?
You pay my rent...
A/N: This is a weird and broken fanfiction that won't be to everyone's taste, but to those who liked it and enjoyed it, I'm glad! To anyone who founded it a bit disturbing because of the whole grey area of the 'abuse' I'm sorry, I made sure it was all implied, but all the same I rated it M for that reason. Thank you people, sorry I've not been around for a while, I hope my dear friend who made me post this enjoys it! xxxxxx