Heinz was running late...again. He groaned in frustration as he screwed on the last piece of his inator. And he hadn't even BEGUN on the trap for his nemesis! It seemed to the man, as he sighed and sat aside the wrench, that nothing in his life would ever go right. Sure, there were a few moments, that were quickly demolished and thrown aside like egg shells. And with not only the constant Perry the Platypus expectations hanging over his head AND Vanessa staying for the week, he also had to thank Roger for DRAGGING his sorry rear to the family reunion later on in the week as well. Only did the man know that once the doorbell reached his ears, things were definitely going for a backwards flip for him.
He heard the doorbell and went over, expecting to see Perry, early as usual, for their normal routine, but was surprised to find a rather formal gentleman standing at his door with a stern and cold expression, almost ingrained, onto his face.
"Um...", the doctor began nervously. "Can I help you?"
"Are you Heinz Doofenshmirtz?", the man asked in a deep, clear, and rather sharp, voice.
"Yes. Yes I am.", he gave a nod. "And you're...?"
"A social security worker for the Flynn-Fletcher family. I trust you know them?", he asked.
Heinz scratched his head at the question. Flynn-Fletcher? He thought it over, a vague memory of Flynn that lead him down to..
'No-no-no! I ain't goin THERE, Bud!', he thought to himself while he was ahead. But still...if this guy was asking about if he knew any FLYNNS...he SHOULD answer...right? "Well.. I know a woman named Flynn but..."
"Linda Flynn? Once known as Lindana?", the man asked, making Heinz's eyes grow wide with surprise.
"Th...the very same!", he stammered.
"I'm sorry to bring you this unfortunate news but..", the man began, sounding the least bit caring. "I'm afraid Linda Flynn and her husband Lawrence Fletcher had recently died in a terrible car crash."
Heinz couldn't help but gasp, taking a step back. Linda DIED?
"B-but-! Wh-what about..?!", he began, but the man was already ahead of him, pulling out a few sheets of paper from the messenger bag he carried.
"My people checked the resources and they say YOU are Candace and Phineas Flynn's biological father. The other boy's family lives out in England so we're placing him under your guardianship as well. If you'll just sign these papers... My people are already on their way to inform the kids of what's happening.", he pressed on, holding out the sheets.
Heinz was still in developing the news. Yes he knew Linda. Far more than he dared to let his nemesis, or anyone but his faithful friend, Dr. Bloodpudding, to know about. Some years after school he had met her while trying to commit suicide. They had gotten together but since Heinz was drunk, they had the surprise to discover little Candace on the way. When Heinz was kicked out of the house for a lack of a good job and actually getting around to MARRYING her, Phineas was just barely a month old. And now she was dead. And Phineas and Candace... Now they were left under HIS care? Sure, it's what he always wanted. He loved family. But with the sudden death of their mother...and the fact he hasn't seen them in the last 10 years with recognition. Wait.. Did he say another kid?
"I'm sorry... Wait..", Heinz stammered, trying to find his brain in all this. "Did you say, Candace, Phineas, and another boy is put under my custody?"
"Yes. Ferdinand "Ferb" Fletcher. Lawrence's son.", the man nodded. "He, Phineas, and Candace will all be under your custody and you will inherit most of Linda's things, if you care to sign these papers."
"Oh right, right. Yeah.. Um.. Right.", Heinz nodded, looking about his lab coat.
He pulled out his reading glasses, a pen, and went to work on signing. When the paper work was done the man left and told him he had an hour to make it to the address on the card he sat on the table.
An hour. That was time for Heinz to get things ready for the kids. It was almost a wonderment how he was going to see Candace and Phineas again after so many years. Phineas, the little inquizitive child he had never seen grow up and Candace... Vanessa was his first daughter. That will always be true. His little princess. But Candace... Candace was always this little ball of joy. A ray of sunshine. Having her with him, Heinz wouldn't trade it for anything else. She always seemed happy to see him. And always excited when he came home from work. He almost feared seeing her now. So many years to not see someone...would she still be happy like she was before?
Heinz cleared his mind of these thoughts, figuring it was useless until he actually met them. He walked over to Norm in the kitchen and began giving him instructions on how to get things ready for them when Vanessa finally poked her head out of her bedroom door.
She had seen the man come in his car outside of the DEI from her window. And she saw him leave. She couldn't help but wonder why some official-looking kinda guy would bother with her dad if he did! Finding him in the kitchen, writing a list and talking at the same time, only her dad was girly enough to multi-task like this, Vanessa ventured to find out.
"Hey.. Dad?", she asked.
"Vanessa! Oh hey.", he smiled, looking up from the paper. "What is it?"
"Who was that guy I saw outside?"
"Oh. He's a social security worker.", Heinz explained but seeing his daughter's confused expression he sighed and sat aside the pen for a moment, lowering his glasses to see her better. "You see Vanessa... A woman had died in a car crash recently... I knew her. Her name is Linda Flynn. And I knew her because... Well not too long after I had divorced your mother, I had met her before committing suicide. She helped me get my head on straight. And we liked each other for a while but.. I hadn't talked to her in about 10 years. She has three kids. Two of which...are your half-siblings. Candace and Phineas Flynn. The other is a Ferdinand Fletcher. I'm responsible for taking care of them now since both of their parents died."
Of course the news of someone dying in a car crash is very surprising to hear. And the news further about having practically long-lost half-siblings even more so! But the only thing that kept Vanessa's eyeballs in their sockets was the third kid. Ferdinand? She knew Ferb. But... Was his full name ACTUALLY Ferdinand? That or Ferb died too and they had a sibling she never met.
"Wait.. Ferdinand? You mean Ferb?", she asked.
"That's the one.", he gave a nod.
Now a new concept had to settle on her mind. "Ferb" was short for "Ferdinand". Mystery solved. But now SHE was going to be with living WITH FERB for the whole week?
"I don't have a lot of time. I'm picking up a few groceries and heading over. You wanna come?", Heinz asked, finally finishing up the shopping list and folding it up.
Vanessa gave a nod. She wasn't gonna wanna miss this. And not to mention, if Candace knew her dad, she might want some help adjusting to the situation. But when she was at the store with Heinz, it seemed HE was the one needing some adjustments. Almost a nervous wreck. Which isn't entirely surprising, considering how many years it was since he saw the Flynns but still, when you have to warn your dad about buying whole dairy products because you've been told a hundred times how lactose intolerance ran in the family, you couldn't help but think he was just a little bit on edge.
As they stopped to check over the list, a thought had occurred to Heinz though. But with little preparation and lack of knowledge, would it really work? Of course though, that's the handiness of a daughter tagging along on a shopping trip. Take that Rodney.
"Hey, Vanessa? Thinking about Candace, Phineas, and Ferb, I was wondering...", Heinz began, unsure of how to word his thoughts. "What if.. What if I got them a little something? You know, like when you move into a new neighborhood, you get a house-warming gift? What if, what if this is like a room-warming gift or an apartment-warming gift? Something..you know, to make them feel more comfortable moving in."
"...You mean like a suck-up birthday present?", she asked.
"No!", he quickly replied. "No! Not sucking-up. Welcoming them! I'm WELCOMING them into the house."
"Well if you wanna 'WELCOME them into the house.'", she said with air-quotes and a mock-voice. "What do you propose to get them?"
"That... I was having trouble deciding...", he sighed. "I don't know what they like now a days and just getting them candy really IS a suck-up gift. I.. I really wanna make this special for them."
"...You're really trying, aren't you?", Vanessa said, surprised to see so much of this deeper passion from her dad that, by that, she was more willing to help. "Well let's start with Candace. Do you have any special memories with her?"
Heinz pondered this a moment and after giving it some thought, they headed over to the electronics. After scanning through the shelves, Heinz had finally found it and pulled it down.
"A Ducky Momo alarm clock?", she asked.
"Yeah! Candace used to LOVE Ducky Momo!", he smiled.
"Isn't she a little OLD for the show?", she asked.
"Aren't you a little OLD for-"
"OKAY!", she covered over him, hoping no one would hear. "Ferb! What about Ferb?"
"Well whatcha know about him?", Heinz asked. "I got nothing."
Vanessa thought it over. As she noticed, Ferb was very quiet. He builds things with Phineas. Quick on his feet for sure but whenever he spoke, it was only to offer sincere suggestions and wisdom. It was really odd to try to combine such a thing into a present. A book? It seemed too trivial. Toolbox? He most likely doesn't need any new tools. But after giving it a thought, trying to ignore this odd fluttering in her stomach, Vanessa finally had an idea. A little off from him yet...it seemed almost perfect with his demeanor. And walking out to the garden section, Heinz was surprised to see her place a small bonsai tree in the cart with a slight smile.
"Seriously?", he asked.
"I dunno why. It just seems too right for him.", she shrugged.
"Alright. He's your boyfriend.", Heinz smirked before heading off.
"Wh-?! No he is NOT!", she said indignantly, following after him in a storm of bright blushes and huffs.
"DE-NI-AL!", Heinz sang in all tease.
"Shut up, Dad!", she huffed with her arms across her chest.
"Why? It's not like you got anything on me."
"...So if it's by denial that Ferb's my boyfriend, I guess you and Mom are due to marry soon, right?", she asked, making Heinz slip off the cart he was leaning on. "Oh no! You and PERRY, am I right? Tell me I'm right."
"WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Eww! SERIOUSLY WRONG!", he said, standing back up, as red in the face as she was.
"De-ni-al!", she sang in a sweet melody with a smile.
"Vanessa Doofenshmirtz! pairing ME with my PLATYPUS NEMESIS is most seriously, the WRONGEST thing you could say!", he exclaimed "I'm-! I can't believe I'm hearing this out of my OWN daughter!"
When the question came to what to get for Phineas, it was like asking how many cups of sugar till you reach the moon. They both sat on a bench nearby, wondering like crazy what on earth to get him. A video game? It seemed to Birthday-Christmas-like. A toolbox? Like Ferb, Vanessa was pretty certain he wouldn't need any more. At one point, Heinz suggested a race car but with the reminder of the days' events, he decided against it quickly. Going through the evidence of Phineas being a "happy, friendly, fun-loving and adventure-seeking, inventor" once more, Heinz finally had an idea. It might not be perfect, but he hoped Phineas would like an electric-ball toy either way. And with groceries bought, paid for, and placed in the back of his pick-up-truck, he would soon find out.