She woke with a start, screaming and grasping at the empty space in front of her, tears rolling down her cheeks like a waterfall. He was there, the last thing she remembered was him running after Lisanna, leaving her alone in the darkness of her own mind. Lucy knew it was only a dream, but the way her heart ached and the lump in her throat had caused her to hyperventilate, it may as well have been real. It might as well be. She was kidding herself, ever since Lisanna returned with them from Edolas, she knew it was pointless. He was so elated when he saw her, and the tears in his eyes then were all she needed to throw whatever small ounce of hope she had out the window. It didn't bother her much at first, but as the days dragged into weeks and the weeks into months, each passing moment became worse. She still smiled, yes, thankfully that was not lost to her, she still had her best friend, and no one could tear apart Fairy Tail's strongest team, but she had lost her light. Her small light of hope that led her through the darkness she faced, was growing smaller by the day, and now it was almost gone entirely. Stupid. Pointless. Just stop thinking of him that way. Easier said than done.

She dragged herself out of bed and caught her reflection in the mirror. Have I really reduced myself to this? She was paler than normal, her hair was getting long and unkempt, and her face was swollen and tired, it even seemed like the light in her eyes was going dull. She couldn't remember the last time she let Cancer give her a trim, every time she summoned him there was too much fighting going on to even ask, but she didn't really care, that was all she did now. Taking jobs and distracting herself was all she cared for, it was better than wallowing in self-pity, she would much rather be a productive member of Fairy Tail, that at least made her happy enough. Lost in thought, she hadn't even realized that she'd made herself a bath. Alright, time to relax and focus on today's job, no more of this. I am Lucy Heartfilia, proud member of Fairy Tail, and I am not gonna let this bring me down anymore!

The guild was already in an uproar by the time she arrived, chairs were flying, punches being thrown, and people screaming at something or other, the voices of Gray, Erza, and Natsu above all others. Hard to miss when they get back from a mission, hard to miss the quiet though. When she turned away from the ruckus and searched the request board for the one she had planned on taking, she was shocked to see that it was no longer there. "Mira! Do you know what happened to that request I showed you yesterday?"

The white haired girl shot up from the bar, still cleaning a mug, "Well no one's left and asked me to put it in the records yet so I assume whoever took it is still here. Do you want me to-"

"No, it's fine Mira, don't worry about it, I'll find something else!" She gave the woman a small smile and turned back to the request board. Though it doesn't seem like there are any other requests here that I could take on myself.

"Hey Lu!" the blunette had snuck up behind her so quietly she let out a little squeak as she turned to see her friend.

"Oh, hey Levy, I didn't hear you come up."

The short girl giggled, "Sorry about that Lu, I heard you asking Mira about a request and figured I might have taken it on accident." The blunette handed her the sheet of paper and sighed, looking toward the middle of the fray still going on to where Gray and Natsu were and back at her friend. "You probably need a solo mission more than I do."

"Oh, no, it's fine Levy, you take it, I just-"

"Don't worry about it Lu, I know." Lucy hugged her friend tight and took the request from her. The short girl whispered before strutting back to her team Shadow Gear, "And don't worry, I won't tell him you were here."

Lucy mouthed the words 'Thank you' as she made her way to the bar to let Mira know she was off again.

It was noon before the fighting in the guild had ceased, Master Makarov had finally grown tired of it and put an end to matters himself, giving the two boys that started it a good thwap to the head. People were shuffling out of the guildhall to leave for their missions, all but a few groups at least. Finally it was quiet, and with quiet, Natsu got restless. Joining Erza, Gray, Happy, Wendy, and Carla at a table, he shot his toothy grin, "We should go find Lucy, I'm all fired up and ready to go on another mission!"

The ice mage looked up from his drink and nodded. "Flame-brain's right, I'm sure she needs the money and all."

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen her in quite a while, and it would be nice to have the full team together again." The redhead chimed in.

The little girl turned from her conversation with Carla and twirled her fingers shyly around each other, not looking up at the rest of the group. "Actually, Carla and I saw her this morning, she talked with Levy a bit and then left with a request. She's been going off herself a lot."

The group frowned as Gray shrugged his shoulders and added, "Probably didn't expect us to be back so early and left thinkin' we weren't here."

"Then we shall simply wait for her return, she's capable enough she should be back in a day or two." Erza concluded the conversation with that statement with Gray, Happy, and Carla nodding in agreement and Wendy and Natsu getting lost in their own trains of thought.

Three days had passed with no sign of Lucy and Natsu was becoming more and more restless and concerned for his friend. What could she be doing? The guild was quiet today. Hardly anyone was there, and the few that were sat alone, only Natsu, Wendy, Happy, and Carla sat together. It seemed like no one had any life in them, it just felt wrong somehow, with no reason at all. That was when Lisanna burst in heading straight for Wendy, a worried and guilt-ridden expression on her face. "Wendy please come with me, hurry!"

Several members turned toward the white haired mage running through the guild, trying to see what was going on. The little girl shot up from her seat, "What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

She caught the look of worry and pain in Lisanna's eyes, "It's Lucy, I was out for a walk and found her in one of the alleyways near her apartment, I didn't want to risk moving her, but you need to come with me now, please!" The two girls ran for the door, the white exceed following closely behind, and the guild became even more quiet.

Natsu sat confused and concerned by his own thoughts before he realized the girls had left. What the hell happened? He shot up and gave Happy a quick glance, immediately catching what the dragon slayer meant. "Aye, sir!"

Natsu and Happy quickly caught up to the girls and turned the last corner to the alleyway. The girls and Happy ran straight to Lucy but the fire mage was stopped in his tracks. He could hardly comprehend what he saw. Lucy was shaking and sweating, unconscious, and covered in cuts and bruises. He lurched forward and fell to his knees beside his friend, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HER?! WHO DID THIS?!"

"I'm not sure, she's been like this since I found her… Wendy, is it okay to move her?"

"Yes, but I don't know if she'll stop shaking until I can start healing her."

"Her apartment is close right? We could take her there. Oh but I don't know if she has her ke-"

"It's open." Natsu interrupted as he quickly and carefully picked up his friend and took her to her apartment, the others following quickly behind.

The room was quiet. Only the shuddery breaths of the celestial mage and Happy's snoring beside her could be heard. Wendy and Lisanna had done everything they could, the sky dragon slayer healed her wounds, reduced her fever enough for her to heal in a day or so, Lisanna even washed her off and bandaged her up, but still Lucy had not woken up. She was recovering quickly physically, thankfully she wasn't beat up as bad as they thought when they found her in that alley, but her mind was still racing and filling her dreams with a never-ending nightmare she couldn't will herself to wake up from.

Natsu did nothing but sit on the floor next to his sleeping friend. Ever since the girls left, he hadn't moved an inch and said not even a single word. Happy attempted to force his friend to eat, but he simply sat and stared blankly ahead of him, completely enveloped in his own thoughts. Who the hell did it? Why the hell didn't you go looking for her? You could have protected her. How come she won't wake up? She shouldn't still be shaking, right? Why was she mumbling about me and Lisanna? She sounds so sad, and she keeps crying, but I can't do anything.

"N-Natsu…" The blonde mumbled in her sleep.

Please don't start crying again, Luce.

"Natsu… is that you?" The fire mage jumped when he felt her small shaky hand brush against his shoulder.

"Luce? You awake?" He quickly turned to face the blonde as she slowly flitted her eyes open.

"I'm… I'm so sorry…" shakily attempting to prop herself up enough to see that it was truly him and not just another of her endless nightmares.

"What? You've got nothin' to be sorry about Luce, the only ones who should be sorry are the bastards that did this to you." He clenched his fists and she could feel his anger rising. She didn't want him to be upset again, not over her, not when she knew the only one to blame was herself. Tears began welling up in her eyes, the pain of it finally too much for her to bear in her dreams alone, and before the first tear could fall down her cheek, Natsu was beside her, holding her and pulling her to his chest. "Please don't cry any more, Luce. I can't stand seeing you hurt anymore."

"It was all my fault! I should have just let Levy take it. I should have just stopped trying to avoid you. I should have just stopped caring so much. And I should have-"

She dropped silent when she caught his gaze, his onyx eyes piercing right into the heart of hers, "Lucy, nothing is your fault. And if I did something wrong to make you not want to be around, you could have told me. Whatever I did, I'm sorry Luce."

Silence swept through the room as the celestial mage stared at her friend, the man she cared so much for, with tears in his eyes. She could see the pain he was feeling, she knew she had to put an end to it, if not for her, than for him. "Natsu… you did nothing wrong, it was all me." She attempted to steady her breathing before continuing. Be strong Lucy, maybe getting it off your chest will make you feel better. You can't just keep hiding it and pushing it down, not if it causes him pain too. "I've just been really depressed lately, and it's silly because I know I have no reason to be. I have friends, the amazing family at Fairy Tail, you, Happy, a place to live, I have everything really. But it's just that… I care about you… and it's more than just as my partner or a friend, and I shouldn't, because it's not really my place to, ya know? And I think about you and Lisanna, all the memories and history… and I can't top that. And I really tried to stop thinking of you that way, but I can't. So I've just been avoiding you, and that's not fair of me at all. I left on my own, got sick, and passed out. I just didn't want to cause problems for anyone else, and that's all I ended up doing anyway… It was just me, all me, and I'm sorry." Natsu was still holding Lucy to his chest, only tightening his grip when she was finished. She held her breath, heart pounding so fast she was sure he could feel it too. Crap, why is he not saying anything? I should have just kept my mouth shut.

"Luce… why didn't you just tell me? I care about you too, I wouldn't be here if I didn't," his chest was beginning to heat up and she felt a blush forming in her cheeks as he continued, "and Lisanna and I were close but never like that."

Lucy pushed herself back until she could get a better view of his face before speaking, her cheeks only flushing more, "R-Really?"

"Of course! I love you Luce, I thought you knew that. And if all I have to do is keep reminding you to keep you from getting sad, I will." His grin stretched from ear to ear and Lucy was hardly able to see the slight pink that now colored his cheeks.

She smiled wider and fuller than she had in months, "Then I will too, you stupid idiot… I love you."

"Hehe, you liiiiiiiiiike each other! I knew it!" The high pitched voice came from the blue exceed as he popped up between the two mages, causing Lucy to squeal.

"Shut up you stupid cat!"