Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montanna

The sand whipped against my white satin dress at I let my toes straddle the ocean line. Inside, my head was throbbing, screaming at me. It was scolding me for all my mistakes, telling me this was my fault. I should be sobbing, breaking, crumbling to the ground, holding myself in a fetal position as I wailed. My make up should be pouring down my face, my cheeks should be striped black. I should have broken. But I stayed stoic. I couldn't cry a single tear. I was in too much shock. My life had ended. I'm at a dead end now. It's all over. He's gone. I'm gone. We're gone. He's dead. Never coming back. They said they found him in his tux, the needle still in his arm. He was pale and his eyes bloodshot. Was he thinking of me as he injected himself with the heroin, did he call out my name as he choked on his last gulp of air, when he closed his eyes did he see my face? Did he see me standing in my white dress, with the minister behind me, waiting for his arrival? Did he do this on purpose? Or was it an accidental overdose? Did he want to leave me? Did he mean to do this?

I bit my bottom lip as a took a step into the ocean. My dress flowed with the waves as I waded deeper and deeper into the water until finally I was knee deep. I stood looking out into the ocean as my vision blurred and finally, I began to cry.

7 years earlier...

"You... are... truly... amazing..." I muttered into Jackson's mouth in between sloppy, erotic kisses. Guns n' Roses blared from the speakers behind us, just adding to the wild, sexual tone that had previously been established between us.

Jackson's hand slid down my bare back, slipping four fingers down the back of my jeans as he still caressed my lower back with his thumb. I quickly parted our joined lips as I began pressing my breasts against his bare chest. I slowly grinded my body against his tempting him, he let out a small moan. He made circles with his tongue along my neckline. I bit my lip and grunted under my breath. Slowly, my grinding against his body stopped as I pushed him back onto the bed and crawled on top of him. I pushed my lips against his and shoved my tongue into his mouth as he slowly began to unzip my jeans.

"LILY?!" Miley's voice rang through the house. Jackson and I exchanged worried glances before we began frantically reaching for scattered clothes.

"Shit!" I said attempting to pull my t shirt over my head. Jackson quickly stood from the bed as he grabbed a shirt from the ground and pulled it over his head. I stood from the bed and zipped my jeans before running my fingers through my hair, attempting to eliminate the "porn hair" look.

"My place, tomorrow?" I quickly asked Jackson.

"I'll be there," Jackson said before I pushed open the door.

"Oh God... there you are!" I said surprised by Miley's face standing directly in the doorway as I pushed open the door. She gave me a curious look.

"Why were you in Jackson's room?" She asked squinting at my unruly appearance.

"Oh... that... psh... that was nothing, he just said that I left one of my tshirts here so he was... giving it back..." I knew that I must have looked like the biggest idiot in the world at this moment. But there was no way in hell I could let Miley know that I was sleeping with her brother.

"Why would Jackson have your tshirt?" Miley asked again.

"I don't know... maybe it got, mixed up in the laundry? I said smiling reassuringly. Miley stayed silent for a moment, almost as if she was pondering the possibilities of what I could have been doing in Jackson's room. Soon enough she shrugged it off and struck up a new conversation, one that had nothing to do with Jackson and me.

"Lily! Come on! Will you please come back to the shore?" My back was turned to the beach, now as I stood in the waist deep water. I ignored the voices commanding me to do what they said, what they wanted me to. I fought against the tide as I held my place in the sand. I knew I was crying, but my face was to numb to feel the tears that drew black lines down my face. My teeth chattered as the oceans current quickly swept up to my shoulders and then lowered seconds later.

"Lils, you're gonna drown out there!" The voices continued yelling out commands and plastic concerns. I stayed facing out to the ocean motionless and numb from the cold and emotion. Slowly I took another step, I could feel their faces contorting into concern. I began hearing splashing behind me as someone waded into the water.

"Lily come on, let go back on shore..." I turned to see Oliver approaching me. I took another step deeper, now up to my bust line with the chilled salty ocean water.

I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I quickly jerked away.

"GET OFF ME!" I screamed as I hurled myself into the water and began kicking with all my might to swim out into ocean, but I was stopped with a tight grip around my waste.

"GET OFF OF ME DAMMIT!" I Oliver held me tightly as I kicked and thrusted in his arms, until finally I was able to break free. I stood firmly on the ground as I looked back on shore where everyone else stood, some crying, some just in shock. It sickened me.

"YOU ALL DON'T FUCKING GET IT DO YOU? I LOVED HIM! I LOVED THAT MAN MORE THAN I HAVE EVER LOVED ANOTHER PERSON MY WHOLE LIFE! I GAVE UP MY WORLD TO SEE THAT HE RECOVERED! I STUCK BY HIM THROUGH THE BEATINGS, AND THE REHAB CENTERS. I BAILED HIM OUT OF JAIL SO MANY TIME I FUCKING LOST COUNT! I STUCK BY HIM WHEN HE WAS CAUGHT SOLICITING PROSTITUTES, I STUCK WITH HIM THROUGH THE HEROIN ABUSE! I EVEN ABORTED OUR OWN FUCKING CHILD BECAUSE I KNEW HE WOULD LEAVE ME BECAUSE I WAS PREGNANT! BUT JACKSON WAS A GOOD MAN! IT WAS THE DRUGS THAT DID THIS TO HIM!" I paused and looked at the identical expression on everyones faces. It was an untitled expression that read of both fear, anger, sadness and concern.

"You didn't know him like I did..." I said softly. "You didn't see him like I did, and most of all, you didn't love him the way I fucking loved him!"

Alright! This is my second fanfiction but I'm hoping this one will actually get some reviews unlike my last! This will sculpt into a Loliver by the end! It may seem like a Lackson now... but stay tuned! lol.

Thanks so much to everyone reading! & PLEASE don't forget to review! I would LOVE to hear all feedbackm good and bad! Thanks!