Reassurance

Because I started watching CM again, both old and new. Because we all need a little reassurance sometimes. Because there are things we don't know. Because you shouldn't ask for more when you already have so much. Little will often suffice.

To J.

I don't own CM. Obviously.

It's been a long few days. Another case, another town. Another victim, another family whose world will never be the same. A town who has lived in fear for almost six months can finally breathe a sigh of relief. The team leaves the latest crime scene in a caravan of ominous black SUVs. They leave behind a chaos of local law enforcement, journalists and curious neighbors.

Emily knows that with every local police squad there are those who seem to forget that the BAU-team is there to help, not to steal the glory. But she is also aware of how it can seem sometimes. They show up in their fancy jet plane, set up camp at the police station, bounce theories behind closed doors and just happen to find the bad guy even if the local police has tried for months. Then they take off again, heads held high with another victory and moving on to the next case.

Emily hates how it all can come across sometimes. But she also hates how unfair it is.

This particular case has taken its toll on all of them. Cases involving children always do. But the blank stares they'd received from a few officers at the station has told her that they seem to think that they're nothing but robots, dressed in suits and hidden behind sunglasses, flashing their badges and playing by their own rules.

They don't know that the young and seemingly collected blonde responsible for press release and statements has spent the last four evenings on the phone with her son, tears in her eyes and almost torn apart by her homesickness.

They don't know that the team leader who seems to frown constantly and not have the ability to smile, also has a son at home, waiting for his father to come home. A son who has already lost his mother and always hugs his father a little bit tighter when he has to go out of town.

They don't know that the young genius who seems completely unaware and unfazed by everything going on around him, carries as much doubt and insecurities as he does with facts and statistics.

They don't know that famous author David Rossi has been their solid rock during this case, offering late night talks and advice on compartmentalizing when things just became a little too much.

And they don't know that alpha male Derek Morgan, who can roughly yank people around by the collar, has come around his partner's hotel room every evening to help her tend to the wound on her arm where she was shot, just some weeks before, tenderly helping her change the bandage and always making sure twice that she's okay. Because deep down in his chest, the pain from losing her still remains.

So they really don't know anything, Emily decides.

They walk back into the conference room they've used and as always she and Reid start to clean off the whiteboards, taking down photos and replacing files in boxes. Hotch and Rossi sign off the necessary paperwork with the lead detective and JJ can finally call Will and tell him she'll be home early in the morning.

Emily stares down at the picture of the first victim. A young boy, nine years old, who'd been found strangled four weeks earlier. It really wasn't fair.

As she closes the file, her eyes fall on Morgan out in the squad room. The parents of the latest victim, the one they'd managed to get to in time, are with him. The young boy's mother has placed her shaking hands on Morgan's arms, trying to express her gratitude. Emily smiles to herself. That is exactly why they all do this. To make a difference and by saving someone's life saving an entire family. The woman hugs Morgan tightly and Emily can see her own feelings reflect in Morgan's eyes. Relief. Resolution. Some reassurance that they're not the condescending robots who only show up because of the local police's inadequacy. The families don't care about titles or bureaucracy. They're just happy to get their lives back.

The parents of the boy they saw off to the hospital then leaves to be with their son and Morgan comes to join Reid and Emily in the conference room. He sinks down in a chair, rubbing a hand across his face. Emily can see the exhaustion in his eyes. With his compassion every case is emotionally draining. She admires that in him. How he always can sympathize and get people to trust him. She knows they do the right thing by trusting him. Derek Morgan never breaks his promises. Another thing people usually don't take into consideration; the burden they carry. The responsibility and how people count on them to save the day.

They finish up cleaning out the room in silence. Reid offers to return the files to the archive and Emily doesn't protest. She just wants to lie down and sleep for days, feeling nothing like the wonder-woman people has her pegged as.

Morgan spins aimlessly in his chair, looking unusually deflated, lost in his own world. Some people would call it sulking but Emily knows better. She knows what they all are and what they feel. Tonight they will go back to the hotel and try to feel as normal as possible, maybe even have a glass of wine to wind down. Hotch and Rossi will have a scotch or two and have one of their talks. Reid will disappear into his own world, pulling out a book to memorize. JJ will make another phone call home and then fall asleep, wanting the journey home to come faster.

Emily knows she and Morgan will spend the night in silence, going separate ways to their own room. Then around midnight, Morgan will softly knock on her door and without having to ask for her company and support. They'll watch TV if they can agree on something sufficiently light-hearted. Otherwise they'll just lay side by side, staring at the ceiling and discuss how unfair life is sometimes. How evil does exist and question how the world can be such a horrible and wonderful place at the same time.

Some hours later, when she's finally drifting off to sleep, Morgan will squeeze her hand so she'll know he's leaving. He always leaves right before she goes to sleep, always offering a proper goodnight. He'll press a kiss to her forehead and whisper a goodnight. She'll be fast asleep before he's even left the room.

And the next day, they will go back home. Return to some kind of normalcy, move on to the next case because there is always another case. Another town, another rough couple of days. New doubts, new looks and comments of skepticism. But also yet another reminder of why they still do this and that truths can only be found from within.

While people can only assume, she knows for real. And sometimes, that's all the comfort you need.

Thanks for reading.