Ogrejoyed
He shuddered as he watched the giant cookie disintegrate in the water surrounding him- his screams horrifying and loud, shaking all of the buildings in Far Far Away. There was no time to truly take in his destruction, though. There was a more pressing matter at hand.
Shrek was on his way to win back the love of his life, and Kyle absolutely could not allow that to happen. Seated upon his flying chariot, whip in hand, Kyle thought back to the very first time he met the breathtaking ogre. He had been 12, but he could remember it as though it had only just happened yesterday.
Kyle had had a happy childhood. He worked upon his parents' onion farm. They weren't very rich but what they didn't have in money they made up for twice-fold in love and affection. His parents were kind folk. His father was a philanthropist in their town—giving onions to those in need. His mother was beautiful and she always told young Kyle to follow his dreams and to never let anyone tell him otherwise. The only problem in the household was one rule—Kyle was not allowed to enter the swamp a few miles down the road under any circumstances.
There were dangers his parents would warn him. His mother would shake as she spoke of the monsters that inhabited the marshy land. Kyle never saw true fear in his father's eyes unless he was speaking about the large green atrocities that wreaked havoc from time to time on poor unsuspecting fairytale creatures that happened to enter the woods. Kyle knew the dangers but that didn't keep him away. He was a curious young boy, and curiosity couldn't help but lead him down the path to the forbidden swamp.
Kyle took secret trips to the swamp all of the time.
"I'll be back by the nightfall!" He would yell out to his parents, lying to them and telling them he was hanging out with a friend from school. Loving and attentive as his parents were, they didn't know of the bullying he endured at school. His old clothes were rags in comparison to the stylish, crisp red and blue dresses his rich, Dulocian peers donned. They made fun of his greasy black hair and scrawny frame. His mother always told him that some day he would be beautiful. He assumed that was something every mother was required to tell her children.
With a wave goodbye to his parents, he would sprint down the dusty road down to the lush green of the swamp. In the beginning, he never ran into any other people or creatures. The swamp felt like his own secret getaway. He learned the trees and would greet them each day as if they were old friends. He knew the parts of the swamp to avoid, and which limbs would provide the best view of the setting sun. After particularly hard days at school, he would just cry and cry until he got it all out. The swamp was his. He wished more than anything that he could bring his parents here, but he knew that his parents would probably forbid him from leaving the house ever again.
So, Kyle kept his secret happy place to himself. One seemingly normal day, swinging from branch to branch, Kyle nearly fell when he heard a heart-anguishing sob. It was so unsettling that it didn't even sound like a human. Kyle swung up to the top of a tree, to try to point out the source of such a yell. A soft gasp escaped his mouth as he looked down at the sight below him. At first glance, he thought it was just a boy around his age, crying, but it was obvious he wasn't a human after looking for more than a few seconds.
His skin was green; and not as though he was sick. It was truly, genuinely green, as beautiful as the swamp surrounding him. The other biggest difference between the two boys was the ears. The green boy's stuck up as though he had antennae's. Kyle liked them, he realized, a blush creeping up on his usually pale cheeks. Another shattering shriek from the poor lad startled Kyle. He was crying, large tears spilling out of his chocolate eyes.
"I'm not ready," He would mutter in a strange accent that oddly pulled at Kyle's heart. "How could they just abandon me." He looked so broken. Kyle's hand was twitching, as though it was fighting the urge to reach out and stroke the tears off of the strange, gorgeous, creature's face.
He didn't even realize he shouted hello until after it happened.
"Agh! Who goes there?" shouted the boy, as he bolted onto his feet, looking around wildly.
Besides the skin tone and odd ears, he looked so human. He wore a brown tunic over a beige shirt, and it fit very snugly to his form. They seemed to be similar in age. What struck Kyle the most was the amount of emotion on his face. His parents were wrong. A monster could never look so broken.
Kyle jumped down nimbly from his branch.
"Don't be afraid," Kyle said, so quiet it was almost a whisper.
"I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING," snarled the ogre. Kyle could see it now. As soon as he showed himself, he had wiped away any tears and closed off all emotion from his face. He was terrifying and it thrilled Kyle deep in his bones. "SHREK FEARS NOTHING."
"I'm sorry," was all Kyle managed to get out. His breath had caught in his throat as soon as he heard it.
Shrek. His name is Shrek.
"WHAT ARE YE STILL DOING HERE?" Shrek roared. Kyle didn't move. He was electrified and paralyzed.
Shrek was breathing heavily, but didn't move to strike him. It could have been seconds or it could have been hours that the two just stared at each other. The world had stopped moving for Kyle. Time was irrelevant here. There was only Shrek.
"Get. Out." Shrek finally said.
Kyle reached into the satchel his mother had sewed for him when he was a young boy. Slowly, he pulled out an onion. He had planned on eating it as a snack but he just felt an overwhelming urge to give something to the strange man before him.
"Please take it," he urged, "My father owns an onion farm down the stre-"
Shrek ripped it out of his hands and roared again.
"GET OUT OF ME SWAMP."
Me Swamp, thought Kyle. But this is my swamp. Perhaps we could make it ours.
Kyle climbed back up his tree and swung his way out, as he always did. Everything felt the same, but he knew that his entire world had just changed. Shrek was no monster. Shrek was just a boy, like him, lonely and in need of a friend. But he was so angry, and Kyle knew he must be careful if he wanted to get close to him.
Weeks passed and Kyle didn't make any further attempts to communicate with Shrek. He didn't want to anger him. As the days flew by, Kyle came to admire Shrek more and more. It was clear that something had happened to Shrek's parents—either they died or they left him. Either way, the Ogre was on his own. In the short amount of time he had been on his own, the green man had managed to construct his own shack and an outhouse just with his own strong, calloused houses. Kyle thought about how much stronger Shrek was than he. If Kyle had been left without his parents he wouldn't have the courage to continue on his own.
Kyle just loved to watch. Sometimes people would trek through Shrek's part of the Swamp and Kyle got to witness the supposed monster the world took him to be. He would stand tall against men with pitchforks and would swipe at them with his strong arms. The same man never returned twice. But Kyle's favorite Shrek watching time was when he was alone.
He would let his shoulders slouch; he would sit upon his favorite rock and peel an onion before taking a mighty bite. His face would look blissfully content and Kyle would dream of nothing more than being able to sit beside him and enjoy their swamp kingdom together. It was a silly fantasy, he knew, but it was his, and it got him through the rough bullying at school. On particularly tough days, he would imagine Shrek dashing into his school on a white steed and bashing in the heads of the mean boys who would dunk his head in the outhouses. He wanted to see the girls' stuck up faces when he rode away with Shrek, clutching his strong shoulders as they rode off to Far Far Away land together, the sun setting behind them.
As night began to fall, Kyle climbed down from his favorite tree. He reached into his bag and set the onion down in the small hole as he always did. He smiled before strolling home.
That had been the last day that Kyle had known true happiness. Soon after, Lord Farquad had sent his men to burn down his parents' farm. With no food or money, his mother soon passed, as she refused to eat anything while her son was starving. Not long after that, the pain of losing his one true love killed Kyle's father as well. Orphaned and poor, Kyle was forced into the kingdom's underground slave trade. It was there that he was forced into service with the Fairy God Mother—she was absolutely manipulative and truly evil. Her son may have had a pretty face, but his insides were absolutely wicked (and not to mention mind-numbingly dumb).
It would have been easy to give up. He could have succumbed to the pain and sadness that became his life. But whenever he wanted to end it all he would think of his Shrek. Shrek, who became orphaned at a young age and was able to create a life for himself. He was so very strong. If Kyle ever wanted to see him again he was going to need to become strong as well.
So here he was, ten years later, the head servant to the Fairy God Mother and one of her most trusted servants. Sexy Kyle, they called him. He always scoffed at the name. He was apparently beautiful now. Just like his mother had always said. It didn't matter. Looks meant absolutely nothing to Kyle- he just used them to his advantage to further him closer to his own happy ending. Kyle was 22 years old and everything he ever wanted was finally within his grip.
Soaring high above the village streets, Kyle's eyes quickly moved through the people, trying to find him. He needed to stop him. He couldn't let him go again. As Kyle's eyes moved over a party of creatures rushing towards the castle, Kyle suddenly felt as though he were 12 again. A beautiful man with olive skin, curly black hair, and strong arms was riding upon a white steed. It was his wildest dreams coming true. He was so close. This was his chance.
He whipped at the pegasi guiding the carriage and at what felt like the speed of light he flew towards the Ogre of His Dreams.
"INCOOOOMMMMMINNNNNGGGGG-" shouted the small puppet boy in that squeaky voice of his.
"It's Sexy Kyle" yelled the donkey turned horse.
Shrek's eyes looked absolutely panicked as Kyle descended upon them and his heart twanged with guilt and excitement all at once. This is it, he thought as he landed in front of them, blocking them from reaching the party Fiona currently stood at with Charming, pretending to be Shrek.
As if that oaf could even act as though he shares an ounce of Shrek's manly integrity.
"Shrek," Kyle began, "she doesn't love you. She's found someone else. She loves Prince Charming now. She wants a real man."
The pain etched in his face almost broke Kyle's resolve right there, but he couldn't stop now. This might be his last chance at happiness.
"But I thought-"
"Shrek. I promise if you go in there you will just embarrass yourself. She will make a fool out of you."
"I suppose an ogre and a princess was too complicated," Shrek whispered, "But I became this for her," he gestured to his new form. Kyle couldn't hold himself back. He stepped forward and touched Shrek's face. The ogre turned man flinched at the contact and growled under his breath, reminding Kyle of the young boy he had met so many years before- the boy who thought he needed to be a monster.
Then, he was too scared to wipe away Shrek's tears, but there was nothing that could hold him back now.
"Shrek… I'm so sorry," Kyle said, "but Fiona has made her choice."
"But where does that leave me?" Shrek asked. He looked so young, and so broken. It was Kyle's turn to be strong. To inspire him to keep going.
Kyle stepped back and reached into the bag. The same bag he had used as a child, when the two star-crossed boys had met. For the second time in his life, the world stopped moving. Reaching into his bag, he grasped the vegetable that had first brought them together. He held the onion out to the man.
Shrek looked confused for a moment, and then it was as if a billion different emotions crossed his face at once.
"You… It was you along."
"Yes," Kyle said breathlessly.
"Shrek. I was drawn to you from the first day we met each other. I know it's wrong, but I was always in the swamp, just watching. Making sure you were okay. I'm sorry, I just-"
Shrek was looking deep into the depths of Kyle's cerulean eyes.
"I knew you were there," Shrek said.
"What?"
"I always knew you were there. You aren't as sneaky as you thought you were," Shrek said with a half smile, "it comforted me. Knowing that there was another person in that swamp who knew who I was. I always wondered why you stopped coming."
"Shrek," Kyle began, his hands shaking, "I haven't been in that swamp in ten years. Not since my parents died. Shrek. Would you please take me back there?'
Shrek shot one last lingering glance at the castle. He looked truly sad about the love and life he might have lost in there, but then his look went back to Kyle. Kyle was truly fit, hence the sexy in his name, he was kind, endearing, and Shrek's first friend.
"I was never meant to be a true king," Shrek finally said, "The only place I rule is my swamp."
"You know, before you came along that swamp was all mine," Kyle said with an impish grin.
Shrek laughed, loud and raucously.
"I suppose we could share," He said, a smile still on his face. Kyle felt like he might explode. "Aye. Let's go."
Kyle let out a deep breath and he stepped back on to his carriage and waited for Shrek to join him. Shrek said his goodbyes to his stunned friends and climbed on with Kyle.
The fairytale creatures watched in awed silence as the unlikely pair rode away from the kingdom, Kyle's whip in hand as he led his carriage down the cobblestones.
Out of earshot from the others, Shrek leaned into Kyle and asked, "So… do you have any other uses for that whip?"
His laugh was the most genuine one he had had in his life as his sexy Kyle turned beat red, before waggling his eyebrows suggestively at him.
This was a new beginning to a new story that would surely end better than the last.
"Onward," Shrek said, wrapping an arm behind Kyle, "to our own kingdom."