Author:
LS
Paring: Grissom/Sara
Authors note: Character Death.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
It seemed to be innate; the knowledge of where he lay in the hospital. She didn't need to ask for directions.
She silently walked down the halls; everyone seemed so busy, they didn't pay attention to her. But she didn't need them to.
Her mind was a blur – an explosion; worse than the one in the lab, so many people injured and dead.
But the only one she cared about had been Grissom. Laying over him, his clothes bloodstained, his voice distant….
They'd got separated. He'd gone to the hospital.
But she was here for him now.
She knew it was his room before she even opened the door. The ward had been so silent, but silence in his room was different.
It reminded Sara of something she'd been told before…
"…Silence like an angel passing through the room…"
She walked over to him, her face shattered as she saw how lifeless he looked. She closed her eyes for a moment, and stopped moving toward him.
You have all the time in the world. He isn't going anywhere.
She took a few empty breaths before looking at him again. He was so still. The only movement was the occasional flickering of a monitor.
A Body without a soul has no purpose.
She leaned against his bed, but faced away from him. It was so difficult to see him like that. She'd gladly exchange her life for his, if only she could…
Gradually, she turned back to face him, and put her hand unto her face to stifle a cry. Her mind didn't recognise him. It refused to believe that he was lying there so lifelessly.
People only cry at funerals because they're losing part of themselves. They're not sad because that person is gone. They're sad for themselves.
She removed her hand from her mouth and reached out to touch him, but her legs buckled, and she pulled away from him.
"I can't touch you Grissom. It's…. It's to late for me. It's too late for us."
She silently begged him to reply; hoping, but fearing, that he might hear her.
"I guess, we never sorted things between us. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe it isn't, I just…I just wanted to know how it would end, you know, between us? Whether we'd get together. Whether we'd get married…"
She paused hoping a reply. Hoping for moment; but, again, only the monitors could be heard.
She closed her eyes and tried to drown out the sounds of the machine and listen to the only other faint sound in the room.
His breathing.
She looked back at him. He'd change so much since she'd first met him; Physically, emotionally….
Some days she felt as though she'd fallen in love with a different person, and the only reason she was chasing him now was because she'd focused so much of her attention on him, she didn't want to be defeated. She didn't want the thought to enter her head that he wasn't the one.
"I…I don't blame you. I don't know whom need to hear that more, you or me. We couldn't have known that the place was going to explode, I mean, you should only be involved in one of those in a lifetime."
Her eyes began to well with tears.
"Goddamnit Grissom! Wake up. Out of us, you deserve to live. You need…you need to wake up."
She knew he wouldn't wake up – but there was always an outside chance – a percentage that was created by watching to many chic flicks films – underdogs can triumph. The impossible can happen.
He's no longer in the same place as you.
"I guess I'll never get the chance to say goodbye to you."
She bended down to kiss him, but suddenly felt as though she was violating him.
"I wish you could hear me Grissom. I wish…I wish I knew what to say to you."
She gently kissed her hand, and let it hover for a moment above his forehead, before falling apart completely, and disappearing from the room.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Cath turned the page of the magazine; not because she'd read the articles, but because she wanted to appear as though she had. She needed to appear outwardly normal for the sake of the team. She needed to be strong for them.
She looked at the clock on the wall and wondered when Nick would come. She didn't mind being in the hospital, she just didn't want to be there when Grissom woke up; she didn't want to explain to him…
"Sara!" Came the loud cry from Grissom; his eyes remained closed and his hand curled into a fist. His face was wet from perspiration, and his face contorted with pain.
Then he went limp.
She folded her magazine and took a washcloth from his bedside to dry his face. She sighed heavily, and resisted the urge to cry.
She gritted her teeth and sadly whispered to him.
"How are you going to cope when you find out she's dead?"